"Congratulations, you are four weeks pregnant. We will schedule an appointment during six to eight weeks in pregnancy. The father is encouraged to accompany you to prenatal care appointments in the next visit. The parents need to know their roles and since this is your first pregnancy, you'll need emotional support, especially from the father. Once again, congratulations"

 

Momo smiles as she looks down to her stomach and lovingly rubs her palm around it. She has been feeling unwell for the past days and never takes it seriously that require her to inform her husband. She thought it is normal cramping from her work as a dance instructor and isn't something that she has to concern about. Not until she realizes, she missed her menstrual cycle. Alerted, she has suspicious that she might be pregnant although it is unlikely because they only did it once in their honeymoon and it never follows afterwards. She is busy so does Dahyun. She isn't in pill and doesn't bother to take one. She finally visits the OB-GYN to confirm her doubt.

 

Momo bows to the doctor and exits the room. She sits on a near bench, tired. Her body feels weaker than usual. She roams her eyes around the hallway and watches the mothers sitting with their baby bump while accompanied by their spouses. They are talking, grinning as the husband converse with their own newborn baby. She notices, she is the only person without her partner. It is true, she comes here early in the morning, alone.

 

She isn't sure whether to tell Dahyun about her pregnancy. It feels that this isn't the right time. She hasn't talked about this particular topic with Dahyun, regarding children. She doesn't even know whether he'll be happy or he will think that it is too early considering that they are still newlyweds. Besides, Dahyun has been acting differently. Momo is well aware of that, he isn't in his usual behaviour, far from it. She thought something must have bothered him but Dahyun doesn't seem he wants to tell her either. It is very unlikely where he keeps a secret and refuse to talk it over or share whatever it is that disturbs him. She knows how bright and cheerful Dahyun is, and she is confident that he'll be delighted about it, however, somehow she feels a little anxious.   

 

She's blessed, grateful and overjoyed, of course. She just doesn't know with who she'll have to share this happiness and rely on at this moment. Mrs and Mr Myoui are both preoccupied with their company branch. It has been a few weeks but it seems that there really a severe problem occurring in their business management. Momo has zero knowledge about it. She isn't interested in their family business and she made it clear to both her parents.

 

Sana isn't here in South Korea at the time. She is invited to attend a fashion show in French. And Mina. The thought of her little sister sinks her heart. She feels pressured. Mina lost her child and she knows how her little sister is still living in guilt, misery and longing. It will be a tense and heavy situation when she breaks the news to her family. She can't imagine how Mina might feel, it will sadden her, remind her of her child. She doesn't want to make it harder for the younger. Hence, Momo decides to keep her pregnancy from her family's knowledge, for now.

 

She will, however, planning to break the news to Dahyun since she needs him. She can't possibly do this alone no matter how nervous she is about his reaction, Dahyun has every right to know.

 

She walks out of the hospital and realises it is now midday, noontime. Momo decides to visit Dahyun's workplace, the Royal Theatre to have lunch together since she takes a day off. She doesn't inform him to make it a surprise appearance, it will be her first time to visit the place. Within a few minutes, she arrives at a geometrical building, made by a series of rectangles constructed of steel and glass. Far from what she imagined it will looks like where it is built in ancient Greek architecture. She smiles and lifts her hands that hold a bouquet of flower. She knows Dahyun has a performance today and as his biggest fan---that only cheers him up at home---wants to gift and congratulate him personally on the stage.

 

Momo walks around the place, not exactly knowing her direction. She approaches a young man who is sitting on a single cushion, a violin case rest beside him. She thought, he must be a member in an orchestra and might able to help her. "Excuse me, where can I meet Da--umm the Pianist President of the...umm Viann Symphony Orchestra" Momo sighs internally, congratulating herself for remembering Dahyun's assemble.

 

The man looked up from the music sheet he's been studying and tilts his head, thinking then snaps his finger, "Oh, are you pertaining to Mr Dahyun?"

 

"Yes," Momo presses her lips as she tries to hold her laughter. She doesn't know why but the way people address her husband so formally tickles her belly. Perhaps she isn't used to hearing it. The man digs out his phone and searches it, "He has a performance this afternoon" He enlightens, reading a schedule on the screen. "So, maybe he is in the practising room. It is located on the third floor, around the north area. Do you want me to lead you"

 

Momo shakes her head and smiles, "No, no. It's okay. Thank you" She doesn't want to disturb the younger man anymore longer. As soon as the elevator opens, she reads the third-floor plan layout that she found displayed on one of the sides of the wall. She captures a picture of it and uses it to guide her way. A grin craves on her face as she stands before the entrance. Excited to meet her husband, she pushes the door open. Momo immediately pouts, seeing endless corridors greet her. It looks like a maze. She doesn't plan to knock and interrupt every person in every room searching for Dahyun.

 

She's about to call her husband and defeatly failed her own surprises when suddenly the missed man walks ratified in front of her. He doesn't seem to be aware of his surroundings. She chuckles and quietly chases him, following him behind before he disappears into one of the room. She quickly fixes her hair and freshens her make up, smiling sheepishly at her own reflection on the mirror from the compact powder. With a huge smile, she reaches for the doorknob but halts when she heard a feminine voice coming from the same room. She never thought Dahyun might have company and that she might disturb his discussions. She lightly pushes the book ajar, and sees Dahyun and a woman sitting across each other having their lunch. They seem to be enjoying their company that both of them can't stop laughing and throwing jokes.

 

Momo inhales deeply. She hasn't seen Dahyun smiles that brightly this past few days even when she tries to lift his mood or make stupid things ever just to make him laugh, it never succeeds. She wonders who the woman is; it can be his junior, his duet partner, his friend. Momo doesn't want to assume anything. She trusts her husband. She knows Dahyun is a friendly person and she thought that closeness he has with that woman is just normal. But what bothers her is, that woman face is the familiar but she can't fathom where he has met her before. Momo sigh as she takes a step back and turns around, returning to their house.

 

Dahyun arrives home around midnight   which is unusual of him. He always comes home before dinner because he knows Momo can't cook and every day volunteering himself to make the food for them. Or he'll inform Momo ahead and she'll orders meal for them. It's almost a routine. Momo waits on the living room and thought to herself that this only starts to happen recently. This strange behaviour of him. She wants to help, to be a shoulder he can rely on, to be his comfort but he always avoids the matter whenever she approaches it. Not only the matter but also her. He seems to be avoiding her, creating a distance between them. She knows something is wrong and can only give him the time and space he needs, waiting for him to tell her.

 

"Hyunnie" Momo calls, staring at the back view of her husband. He is lying while facing the other side of the bed. Dahyun hums, indicating that he is awake and listening. She raises her head and uses her arms as a pillow, her body curls into a ball.
"What do you think of children?" She asks hesitantly.

 

"They are a ball of sunshine. Beautiful and pure." He says with amazement in his voice. Momo's heart eased by his words. She instinctively smiles, eyes sparkle in happiness. Her cheeks reddened as she opens , ready to break the news but Dahyun cut her off, "Still, I think our marriage is still new. I'm not ready for fatherhood. We still have a lot of things to discover together. And---"

 

"I understand" She interjects. Biting her lower lips before she buries her face in her palm. At this moment she is glad, Dahyun is facing the other side or he will have to witness her disappointment, sadness, and guilt all at the same time written on her face. One drop of salty beads traces the corner of her eyes and falls into the pillow, making it soak. It is fascinating how a second before she is over the moon and how her heart fluttering but now her expectation crashed and her heart throbbing. Momo rolls to the other side, facing the wall. She shut her eyes, trying to sleep and forget about the overwhelming emotions. She isn't an emotional person, but maybe things have been so hard for her to bottle it up.

 

An image of the woman she sees in the theatre crosses her vision. She swallows the lump on and whispers, "Dahyun, I'm not living in a sweet sheltered world, do I?"

 

The silence lingers longer than she preferred. There shouldn't be any silence from the beginning. The answer supposed to be quick and fill with conviction but it is uttered with the same whispering tone, doubt and uncertainty lying underneath, "Of course not"











 

*  *  *  *

Chaeyoung smiles while watching Lil' shooting a slingshot in their backyard. Beyond their backyard is nothing but woodland. The little boy is too engrossed in the activity, using a paintball slingshot as he aims for the small wooden target tied on a branch of a tree. Lil put his pellet in the pouch, and turn his body sideways. The shoulder of his arm that holds the grip of the slingshot is facing the target. He raised the slingshot so it is perpendicular to his body, and slightly angled it away. This positioning provides him ample room to use his other arm and draw the slingshot band all the way back. Drawing a deep breath, he slowly releases the breath completely, then takes the shot. 

 

"That's so close, Little one." Chaeyoung calls as the paint marked eight on the target. The boy turns to him with a blank expression but he can see how it upset him. "I'm convinced Lil will hit bullseyes one day, Lil' just need to practice. But first, the teacher is almost here. We'll continue this later okay. Lil' need to study really hard." Chaeyoung wheels to his side and caress the boy's short hair "Can this pumpkin do it for me?"

 

Lil' nods then tidy up his marbles and things. He hugs Chaeyoung's legs before he goes inside and greets his teacher. Chaeyoung chuckles seeing the boy's small affection when he rarely does so. He remembers when Lil was younger, the kid shot him with the slingshot and marble as the ammo, leaving a purplish bruise on his stomach. It's all because he tried to lift him to his lap and Lil' strongly refused.

 

The therapist had suggested for Lil to do archery, with its focus on processes and systematic repetition, it's been frequently recommended as both sport and therapy for children with an autism spectrum disorder. They thought that archery is the best for him, because he can repeat the same thing over again. It really lights up their imagination and their cognitive abilities improve. It will help him with his schooling, social skills, coordination, patience and concentration. But, Lil' favour slingshot than bow and arrows. Fortunately, both activities are almost the same, in repetition movement and maybe slingshot is a little harder because of the curvy trajectory and points of impact. He is always amazed by the Little One.

 

Chaeyoung reaches out to his pocket. He pulls out his earphones and mp3 player, then switches it on. The tunes resumed and he sighs contently watching the dappled sun shines through the trees, creating mysterious shadows. The blue sky is starting to dots with fluffy white clouds that drift lazily in the gentle breeze. Chaeyoung shut his eyes, drowning into the music and soft wind caressing his face. Another new day, a new beginning. His thoughts divert to Irene. He misses her. He makes sure to ring the woman every night; asking about her wel