"See you next week."

Jungsoo tidied his belongings and walked out of the classroom. He strolled down the long alley to the lecturers' office, greeting some of his students on his way. His days recently felt like they were fleeting. Nothing energized him and he was barely living. No matter how hard he tried to push himself, at the end of the day, he would still stay awake at night, wondering all the What ifs. He would ask himself what he did wrong that he was always abandoned again and over again.

Moreover, what his mother said the other day was like salt put on his open wound. It was already painful but the words from his mother proved that it was never painful unless he died. All emotions stuffed his chest every time he remembered it. Even breathing took all his energy. And when his anguish came in a wave like this, he had to force himself to sail away and avoid the pain.

He inhaled deeply; at least, he had his two angels. They were the ones that put his emotions in place. They were the reason he was standing on his feet.

"Prof. Park?"

Jungsoo stopped on his track and looked around to find who called him. Oh. He smiled and bowed politely to the two people behind him.

"How are you, Mrs. Han?"

Jungsoo faked a smile eyeing Sungmin and Mrs. Han. The woman mirrored his gesture, beaming as wide.

"I'm good. But... Could be better."

"Yeah... Same," Jungsoo admitted honestly. However, before he was pulled further into his agony, he managed to bring another topic.

"Mr. Lee... You have no class at the moment?"

Sungmin's face immediately changed as he remembered he did have to rush to his class. He was about to send Mrs. Han off after showing her his campus when they accidentally saw Jungsoo. Now that the professor said it, he did have to go.

"Ah, right. Mrs. Han, I'm going to my class first. I'll go straight to Mrs. Jin's bakery. See you later, Prof. Park."

After the student left, Jungsoo could not help but sense that the atmosphere got a bit heavier with the way Mrs. Han was looking at him. No—his instinct told him to avoid—

"May I have your time for a moment, Prof. Park?"

.

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Heechul loves you. He truly—"

"With all due respect, I beg you to stop, Mrs. Han."

Jungsoo felt that his head was already throbbing hearing the exact same words as what his mother told him.

That Heechul loved him.

That Heechul sincerely loved him.

That was a big lie.

It pained him. He hated it. He hated how everyone around him acted as if Heechul had ever seen him for even once. The bitter response Heechul upon him still stung. His student had made it clear that there was no love between them.

So why?

Why was everyone forcing it to be there?

"I don't know what is your purpose in telling me this stupid bluff. But I do not appreciate whatever it is," Jungsoo hated how his voice had to tremble towards the end.

"Prof. Park. Heechul has been scared his whole life. He's never one to show his true feelings. He's tired because no one actually cares. The situation put him in a difficult position. Leaving this city was always what he wanted. Until you came and changed the way he thinks... But his fear took over him. He was scared if what he was experiencing was only a pseudo feeling. And his first instinct... Always... He would run away."

True.

Heechul was always one to runaway.

And let it be like that.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Jungsoo let his teeth sunk on his lower lip harder than he intended. It was the worst feeling because he started to understand the way Heechul saw things. And that was not what he wanted. He wanted to hate Heechul. He wanted to curse him for bringing all the pain he was suffering right now.

He swooped down a bottle of bourbon on the kitchen cabinet—where he kept his old friends—liquor. And today, he would like to, once again, greet them. He needed the escape; he needed the feeling of your minds being taken away from every drop the alcohol he would consume. Let the burning on the back of his throat replaced the hurting deep inside his heart.

Looking longingly at the dark bottle, it did cross his mind to chug the liquid straight from the bottle... But nah, he liked to be intoxicated slowly. He enjoyed the way he gradually forgot his pain. It was worth the miserable hangover the next morning. He reached for a whiskey glass and sighed. Never he knew he would never say goodbye to his old habit. He sluggishly strolled to the dining table and pushed a chair to sit.

"Even after what I'm going to tell you?"

He poured himself a glass and immediately chugged it empty.

"Heechul does love you, Jungsoo. He ever told me and my instinct said that I should believe him."

Jungsoo strained his neck up in a not so comfortable way, gazing at the ceiling to keep his tears in place. His mother's words never failed to scrunch his chest. It was complete nonsense that Heechul told everyone he truly loved him if not for their stupid pretense. Silly how he almost let himself fall into his trap again. It was as if he pretended to buy a kid's lie saying he did not eat the cake while his mouth was full of cream. It was obvious but he still hoped for the slightest chance.

"Heechul loves you."

Jungsoo poured another glass when, now, it was Mrs. Han's voice that pierced his ears. This was where the conflict within him flared up. This information messed up the out of him the worst. He could not help but think that Heechul had no reason to say that t