“Merry Christmas!”

It’s that wonderful time of the year! It’s the season of joy and forgiving. It’s the season of love and sharing. For these reasons, everyone loves and enjoy this season. There are tons of presents under the Christmas tree but one thing is for sure, the greatest gift for this season isn’t any other material things out there but it’s the genuine love that comes from deep within people’s hearts that they share to others. The magic of this season never ends and miracles happen on this special day, wishing what they want the most, the answers and the prayers.

The joyous party of this wonderful night commenced and there’s nothing to be seen but smiles, laughter and merriment. The feast served in this one long table isn’t as much as any Christmas parties usually have but definitely enough for this circle of friends and comrades who asked for nothing more than just togetherness and attachment. There are gifts shared while they eat and though it’s not excessive, everyone cherishes whatever’s given. This is the essence of this season, of this feeling for them.

The Christmas carols are being sang in the midst of the party’s hype, led by Chaeyoung’s angelic voice which everyone loves to hear. They sing along with her, they sway with the beat and they can only keep on asking for more as they get addicted to her voice. The games, cliché but they love, Jisoo thought for all of it as they playfully mock at the losers and the winners would cheer triumphant, Mino being the starter of all these teases. And everything’s being documented by Lisa as she adds another memorable day in her life with these people she has learned to appreciate.

All of these events are unfolding before Jennie’s eyes, witnessing a momentous night as if problems don’t exist around them. She has a lot of thoughts running in her mind while she jives along with the fun going on, too much fun she cannot keep up and gets lost in laughter. The party is too loud and entertaining not be noticed by passers-by outside the exposed café that’s being covered by none but woods protecting the broken windows and a wide-opened entrance without the door to protect them.

“Everyone!” Jennie shouted and as she sees everyone is already wrapping up the party in a good end with their own gifts they received from others, making her friends and comrades look at her smiling wide. “You must be tired of hearing this but—“

“Thank you so much for making this day possible!” Almost everyone said in unison as they cut off Jennie’s announcement and predicted her words, putting themselves into a huge laughter and made Jennie flush in redness.

Mino goes to give her the gift he prepared for her, saying, “Anytime, Jennie. Always…”

“And you might not get tired hearing us saying thank you too for being that friend we all need.” Jisoo winked.

Jennie shyly beamed at these compliments, blushing as she scratches her cheeks. “Well, today was certainly fun. I admit that I temporarily forgot all the problems I’ve been thinking recently and it’s all thanks to this fun I had in this party and from the sale earlier. Though somehow, I thought it would have been good too if mom is around to see all of this, I still had a blast. It’s definitely a good night and I won’t forget this night, ever.”

“What, are you going to get emotional again? The party is ending yet do you really want to close it crying and being dramatic? C’mon, it’s Christmas!” Jisoo whined just to make her best friend smile and put her tears aside for tonight.

As everyone’s ready to go and formally end the party, Mino asks and shares, “So, what are you guys planning after this party? There’s still few hours before the real Christmas Eve. And as for me, I have to catch the last train and go back home to my parents then spend the holidays with them. It’s still in the next town so I have to go straight to the station after this. I’ll be back after the New Year’s Eve too.”

“I’ll be going back to my apartment and sleep. I already partied quite hard here and I have nothing more to do alone.” Jisoo opened up and got their ears for a listen, especially Lisa who is taken aback with her choice. “Also, I’ll be travelling early tomorrow too and go back to the countryside. My parents and our relatives are expecting me to be there on holidays, that’s why I have to hit the bed early.” She further explained and that put an ease to Lisa’s muddle.

“How about you Lisa, what are your plans for Christmas?” Mino turned to ask Lisa upon noting she spaced out after Jisoo shared her holiday plans.

Lisa looks away as she finds her unprepared answers, “M-maybe I’ll call my parents and greet them later on. Since I don’t have plans for this season really, I’ll do the usual things, I guess. I’ll edit the videos I recorded today then as always, explore the town or probably travel to other towns too.”

“If you want…” Jisoo speaks up and Jennie looked at her expecting something bold to come out of that’s always been hesitant. “…do you want to come with me to the countryside? I might stay there until New Year’s Eve too so maybe you’d like to unwind from the town. You see, my parents have a coffee farm there and maybe you’d like to cover it for your future vlogs. I’ll let you have an exclusive coverage and my parents will be happy to see someone interested too. Besides, you can’t possibly spend holidays alone here. It’s boring to be wandering around the town on your own.” She further voiced but faltering to look straight into Lisa’s immovable ones.

Their friends have gone speechless as they didn’t expect Jisoo offering this to Lisa and being courageous enough to break her shell. Although, perhaps, they have an idea of how their relationship is blooming, this unforeseen first move from Jisoo is something to be noted and marked as Lisa has always been the one known to be approaching first. And of course, the proudest of them all, Jennie, exhaled quietly, relieved that her best friend finally made a move to start finding answers for herself, for her heart to settle down and come into a decision she won’t regret sooner or later.

“I assure you that the countryside especially Jisoo-unnie’s hometown is one of the best places to spend some quality time from. It’s going to be a little bit colder than the town though so you should be ready. I’ve been there before and I had a great time with her family. I’m sure you will too.” Jennie helped her best friend on convincing this stunned Lisa who hasn’t spoken a word of acceptance.

Lisa rubbed her gloved but cold palms together to calm herself down and have her heart relax before she confirms thrilled and excited, “I’d love to. I’ll definitely go there with you. I haven’t experienced living on a countryside so please take care of me.”

“You’ll be driving though then I’ll show you the way. You better go back home and sleep early too because we’ll be leaving at early and I’ll meet you at the station. It’s going to be some long hours of drive.” Jisoo giggled and contented of Lisa’s positive and enthusiastic response.

And the eager Lisa straightaway nods, “Sure! I’m on it! I love long drives and I miss it since it’s been quite a long time since I did it. But it wouldn’t be a problem for me since I’ve done it a lot of times before.”

Lisa couldn’t ask for more this Christmas as she feels like she already got the best gift, to be with Jisoo more than what she prayed for. She wished for more time and moments with Jisoo while she’s here, other than being just merely walking around in the town and hanging out with their other friends for her vlogs. She asked for something like this day to come and how promising it is that it happened this very special season, this season granted one of her best wishes. Jennie can be the proudest as her best friend stepped up her game but Lisa is absolutely the most excited one in this place.

“And you? What will you be doing after this? You can’t celebrate with your mom tonight at the hospital since visiting hours are over.” This time around, Jisoo asked the same question to Jennie, evidently taken aback that she was also asked like everyone else.

Jennie glanced over to Chaeyoung while she considers a lot. She’s given this thought of celebrating it with Chaeyoung, invite her over and be brave for once just like her best friend who is already ahead of her. However, this option was immediately erased upon realizing that she has her own family to be with, a sister she can celebrate it with, to spend this special Eve with Alice. Moreover, she wouldn’t want to selfishly take Chaeyoung away and to be with her instead of being with her sister, or intrude their celebration to fit herself in there just so she wouldn’t be alone.

In the end, having no other choice but to put up an excuse, Jennie settles in a sigh, “I’ve been working since this morning so I’ll probably go straight to bed and have some good night sleep. I can go visit mom tomorrow and celebrate with her in the hospital. It’s not really a problem for me.”

After being quiet the whole time, Chaeyoung finally interrupts, “Are you sure? You can come with us and join us at home. It’s just me and my sister.”

But Jennie politely declines, “Nah, I’m good. We’ve partied enough and that’s already good for me. I’m exhausted so yeah, maybe I’ll just sleep.”

If Jennie thought she lied very well and thought that all the people agreeing around her believed, Chaeyoung is different. Similar to how Jennie loves listening to her voice, Chaeyoung is also addicted to hers for she hears her sweet tone every day. She has learned to distinguish Jennie’s lies from truth, she can read her emotions, with just her flow of voice. She can picture that Jennie is flashing a smile when she declined but her voice can never lie, she’s certainly dishonest with what she wants.

Knowing her the most, Jisoo had known she’s covering up however and even saw how she helplessly glimpsed on Chaeyoung, her expressive eyes dying to tell her she wants to be with her too. Nevertheless, Jisoo didn’t dare to make plans for her because she knows the dilemma going on Jennie’s heart and only Jennie herself knows how deep it is still. All that she can do for her downhearted best friend is ride along with her smile but gave her a light caress by her back to comfort her.

“Call me if you need me.” Jisoo whispered to Jennie and she only got a nod as a response.

“So, we’ll go ahead then.” Alice announced then greets everyone before leaving, “Merry Christmas! Enjoy the holiday guys.”

They paved goodbye to Alice first as she goes to start the car and Mino had to push Jennie forward to talk with Chaeyoung who is obviously waiting for her to approach. They all backed off, some left to give them space, and let them to have separate ways for tonight in a good note. The entire party was so much fun they didn’t had too much time to be alone and talk properly. They’ve been busy and since the morning Chaeyoung thought Jennie was leaning in to kiss her, they never had a face-to-face talk and now here it is, awkward but needed.

“S-so…” Jennie awkwardly paced in front of her.

Chaeyoung returns a warm smile, “Today was so fun. I never had that kind of fun in a long while.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” Jennie replied simple for she doesn’t know where to go next with this heavy conversation. “It w-was a long day but I hope you’ll also have fun celebrating with your sister.” She added almost barely because words are just so tight and stuck on .

Chaeyoung wanted to point out her lies and expose her but because she feels this barrier that Jennie put up between them, as if she is desperate not to be uncovered, she can do nothing but to keep agreeing to her words, saying almost regretful, “Yeah, I’ll have fun at home too. Please, rest well and happy holidays…”

As much as Jennie wants to end it properly, her stubborn self just watched Chaeyoung going out and later guided by her sister while waving goodbye to everyone. Her setbacks always causes her to have these kinds of results, unwanted outcomes and so she faces the consequences. Her fluctuating resolves, emotions and doubts are not helping her to go somewhere, her unstable decisions and resolutions are making it worse for her find peace.

“You can do it better next time.” Mino and left laughing at the sulking Jennie, she who was left behind at the café all alone.

Alice is solely focused on driving in these busy streets, whereas her passenger Chaeyoung has her mind flying away, going back to Jennie whom she didn’t give a good goodbye. She doesn’t like the thought of Jennie being alone on this day, particularly tonight when it’s the most special hour of this season. The way they separated is something she never planned and it upsets her that she couldn’t do better than that. No words escape from but her heavy breaths sure give everything away.

“Jennie, she’ll be all alone on Christmas Eve, right?” Chaeyoung grimaced at this fact. “Lisa has her parents but she’s just travelling and she can talk to them anytime she wants to, greet them and still be able to join the season. Jisoo-unnie will be with her family tomorrow too at the countryside and she already has plans too. Yet, who does Jennie have with her on this special day, especially later on once the clock strikes twelve? She has friends, yes, but of course they also have their own families to celebrate with. Then there she is, all alone…” She further thought of and her sighs can only go heavier.

They reached the intersection where the traffic lights turned red. As Alice stopped the car, she responds to her sister’s worries with another fact, “Jennie was lying when she said she’s exhausted…”

“Why do you say so?” Chaeyoung turned her head towards her sister, asking for more explanation.

“Jennie was actually looking at you earlier when Jisoo asked about her plans for Christmas Eve. This is only my hunch but, maybe she also wanted to ask if you want to celebrate together, just like how Jisoo asked Lisa to go to the countryside with her. You know, Jennie is very considerate of other people’s own personal affairs so she might have decided not to ask you, since you’ll have to celebrate with me too.” Alice disclosed and resumed on driving calmly.

At first, Chaeyoung was thrilled, not when realizing she’s already on her way home the frown returned to her lips, “It would be good if we insisted her to celebrate with us. If I only knew better or if only I decided better… then I could have initiated to ask her first…”

“Do you want to be with her on Christmas Eve?” Alice asked as she parked her car on a side while waiting for her sister to answer.

Chaeyoung nods and reasons out, “Yes, I do. But family first before anything and anyone else. You’re the one who taught me that. And so, I have to celebrate with you.”

“I’ll ask you again, Chaeyoung…” This time Alice shifts her body to properly face her sister. Looking straight at her she asks firmly, “Regardless of priorities or take away the things I taught you and instead listen to what yourself, your heart, is telling you, do you want to be with Jennie during the Christmas Eve?”

Thus Chaeyoung gave her another nod and without hesitancies she straightaway answered, “Of course, yes…”

Alice need not more explanations and she turns her car to the other way that’s opposite to where their home is, rather to the road going to Jennie’s place. “Then you’re going there, to Jennie’s house and be with her.” She then said as she speeds up.

“Unnie, w-wait… What are you talking about? I can’t go and stay there with her because what about you? You’ll be all alone! Dad and mom might get mad at me again if they find out that I’m not at home for Christmas.” Chaeyoung protested and confused of her sister’s sudden decisions.

Alice reached out for her sister’s panicking hands she throwing in the air and assures her in a soothing voice, “Chaeng, I’ve celebrated Christmas alone before. It is lonely but at the same time I do like it too because I get to think of a lot of things while enjoying a glass of wine. It’s like a night that I can get to talk to myself and reflect in silence or while listening to Christmas carols. Don’t worry to this old single me because I can handle myself. Moreover, think of this as my Christmas gift for you. I couldn’t really buy anything since I’ve been busy with work and I feel guilty about it. I always buy you one but this time I couldn’t. So, I’ll let you be with your ultimate crush this Christmas as my present for you, how’s that sound?”

Chaeyoung’s scowls vanished into the air as she squeals overjoyed, “You’re really the best unnie!”

“Let’s go buy some midnight feast for the both of you to have before I drop you off there. I’m sure Jennie couldn’t prepare anything because she’s busy the entire day.” Alice decided and she does all of these sacrifices just to see her sister improve and have this smile and genuine happiness stay with her.

As the Christmas Eve is nearing, Jisoo on the other hand arrived in her place. With her stiffed and tired body, she walked up to her apartment floor wobbly in her steps. She’s ready to call it a day and let the night pass by while she sleeps. However, arriving in front of her door she found a box neatly wrapped with ribbons and she paused. There’s no one around and all she sees are closed doors and some families from the other doors making noises as they prepare for the season.

She bent down and as she sees the sender written on the small note, she sighs, “Seulgi…”

Jisoo carried the box with her, a Christmas gift, as she entered her place. She never had any doubts on picking it up as she recognized her lover’s personal penmanship for it’s unique in cursive and neat as always. They have exchanged lots of presents in the past and she’s certain that even the wrapping was personally done by her. Jisoo can recognize her in any ways and there’s no way she’s mistaken that this gift is also personally picked by her, with her efforts that Jisoo once questioned.

To Jisoo,

I know we’ve been having a lot of communication gaps and fights ever since I was transferred here in Japan for work. This long distance relationship has been tough for us. We haven’t been spending time like how we used to, even just through calls it’s hard for us. I’ve been lacking a lot as your lover but I promise I’m working on it, to become a better person. I’m still that Seulgi that you love and please trust me. I’m sorry for not treating you right recently. I’m sorry for everything but please do know that I love you and I’ll do everything for you and I’m doing this, working here, for us and for this future we want to achieve for ourselves while supporting each other. Saying this, I’m telling you that I’m more than ready to accept your dreams and I won’t stop or question you anymore. I’ve been reflecting on my selfish acts and I realized how much I must have been hurting you whenever I doubt your passion.

It’s Christmas and with this small gift I bought for you which I asked my friends to deliver it on your doorsteps, I hope that you’ll give me a chance to support you and be the person you need whenever you feel down. I cannot promise you that I’ll be around all the time but I can promise you that my love for you hasn’t changed one bit.

Merry Christmas my precious turtle rabbit. I love you.

From.

Seulgi

P.S. Take a picture with the gift I sent you. I want to see it.  

Her eyes watered as she read the letter, emotions rumbling in her. She pours tears because she’s upset, because she’s moved and all because she’s confused what to feel. Her emotions only went worse as she opened the box containing set of mugs she’s always been dreaming to have ever since she started doing her passion, these mugs that she can recall always searching on its prices over the internet. All these times she thought Seulgi never paid attention but now it’s in front of her watering eyes, surprising her in every way, targeting every emotion she has.

Jisoo clenched her fists for she’s too overwhelmed with this muddle in her. “Why now… I hate you… Why are you doing this to me…” She sobbed but found herself engulfing the box around her trembling arms, thankful for this blessing that came to her despite its wrong timing.

She knows fully well she won’t be able to recompose herself anytime soon, yet she battles with herself for a minute as she sends her heartfelt reply, “Hey, I just got home and found your Christmas gift. You really know me a lot, in and out. Right now I’m lost for words and I don’t really know what I should tell you. However, I am really thankful that on this special season, you always think of me. And I’m sorry that I cannot say anything better or anything that you might be expecting me to say. Merry Christmas.”

Jisoo at the back of her mind she wanted to add their usual exchange of “I love you” back in the days, but her heart stopped her fingers from doing so and sent whatever she finished writing. This kind of Seulgi that being shown to her, this is what she’s been missing from her the most, this is the loving and caring Seulgi she used to know which eventually died in time, or so she only thought. Yet in time, she has met Lisa who is gradually replacing her spot in the heart which is why it’s hard for her to tell Seulgi she still loves her just the same.    

Time is ticking close to Christmas Eve and the town is ready for it as the feasts are ready, most families are complete and the Christmas songs can be heard playing around the town. Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed to celebrate this night with a complete family and one of these unfortunate people is Jennie, all alone sitting in the living room. She can hear the families laughing from the neighbourhood’s opened windows as if they are bragging. She can see the Christmas lights flashing outside through her windows and the snow is falling and covering the ground.

Jennie has no one at this moment but herself, watching Christmas-related movies while eating her favourite chips she just grabbed from the nearby convenience stores. There’s no feast laid on her dining table and there are no lights to shine her house but only the light from the television is brightening up her dark place. In the past she has both her parents with her watching their favourite movies before enjoying the midnight feast together, in the recent years she has her mother and with just the two of them, they do the same Christmas routine.

Sadly, for this year, Jennie is repeating the same activities but on her own. The movie flashing on her television screen isn’t drama, rather it’s a comedy, yet Jennie is having tears in her eyes while forcing herself to laugh, at the same time munching continuously on the chips she keeps on stuffing in . “This is so funny!” She keeps on saying and creating mess all over her but her tears aren’t stopping from coming out and if only someone is looking at her in this situation, they would think she’s gone crazy on Christmas Eve.

Halfway through the next movie she chose, her doorbell unexpectedly rings, startling Jennie on the couch and almost fell from it. She isn’t expecting anyone, not even her best friend or anyone she can remember she might have invited over. And the doorbell rings again, so she cautiously went up on her feet to peek from the windows’ cracks. From her position, covering herself with the curtains, she can see all the way to the entrance where there, to her surprise, she found Chaeyoung standing patiently in the cold in the cold.

“It’s Chaeng!” Jennie squealed in excitement as if she wasn’t crying seconds ago.

Jennie didn’t bother wearing her coat as she dashes outside to meet an unexpected person but at the same time she’s a person whom Jennie would want to spend this night with. The cold breeze wasn’t felt despite the night’s strong breeze because all she wants is to meet Chaeyoung although they’re separated for only a few hours since the party. The sadness and isolation she was feeling earlier died and was instantly replaced by bliss and pleasure.

The patient Chaeyoung heard Jennie’s front door banging open and so she greets, “Hi! Are you there Jennie?”

Jennie didn’t answer in words but she responded with a jump and a bear hug which totally taken Chaeyoung by surprise, causing them to stumble straight on the snowy ground. If it wasn’t for the thick snow that somehow made a direct fall prevent from happening, they would have been both injured before they could even celebrate Christmas together. Still, it definitely hurts especially for Chaeyoung who was pinned on the ground but she complained none as she loves this moment of making Jennie is excited she couldn’t stop herself.

“You came!” Jennie couldn’t stop squealing as she isn’t letting Chaeyoung go out of her locked arms around her neck.

Chaeyoung is loving this so much and similar to Jennie, she’s just as excited. She wrapped her arms her waist and not bothering to get up from the dirty snowy ground just yet, “Were you really waiting for me?”

“E-eh…” Jennie was caught off guard and belatedly realizing how she just exposed herself with all these squeals and anticipation she vulgarly showing. And blushing as she awkwardly gets up, she admits, “Y-yeah… kind of, I guess… L-let’s go inside too anyway…”

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