Renjun’s day doesn't start perfectly, he wakes up late, no thanks to Jeno who left to his classes without bothering to wake up his roommate. And in his hurry, Renjun attempts to take the stairs two at a time, only to trip and slip through the rest. And in retrospect, that makes him get through the stairs way faster, but as much as Renjun wishes be can focus on the bright side, the ache at the end of his back overshadows every other thought. And yet if anyone were to ask him, he would claim that his eyes are teary due to the biting wind hitting his face rather than the soring pain.

Finally making it to his class, Renjun is so ready to just plop on his seat and sleep through most of it. Maybe then he won't feel the pain anymore, and no one would notice that he is, in fact, still on the verge of crying. But his self-proclaimed bulletproof plan goes to shambles when he takes sight of the person occupying his seat, the one that is perfectly out of the teacher's peripheral vision.

"What are you doing in my seat?" Renjun hisses, holding into the desk for support and biting down a pained groan.

Donghyuck’s lips twitch in a sly grin, his back resting against the wall and his legs crossed. "Since when was it yours?"

Renjun glares at the other boy, having already killed him 5 times in his head. "I always sit here, don't be difficult."

Donghyuck shrugs nonchalantly.  "Well I got to it first, today. And I didn't find your name itched on the chair."

"Holy , you're so childish." Renjun spits, slowly taking the vacant seat on the other side .

"See," Donghyuck’s smiles widens. " that wasn't so bad, now was it?"

Renjun ignores him completely, cursing under his breath when he realizes that not only does he not have the support of the wall to rest against, but he comes eye to eye with the teacher, forcing him to sit straighter and swallow down a yelp at the way his body reacts to that.

Donghyuck gives him no mind, going back to doodling on the desk and humming under his breath.






"Why do you look like you're ready to murder?" Jeno asks when he comes to pick Renjun from his class. The latter has messaged him to do so, in hopes of making his friend carry his bag for him.

"Cause I am." Renjun deadpans, ing his bag in the other's hold. Jeno laughs at the way Renjun fumes, finding his angry pout cute. "Did Donghyuck breathe again?"

Renjun scoffs, feeling his blood boil just at the mention of the other boy's name. "More than that."

Jeno shrugs. "Hey, at least you know what name to expect on your right wrist."

Renjun halts in his step, head whipping to Jeno as if the latter has just told him his grandma died. "What do you mean?"

"Have you never thought of it?" Jeno questions confusedly. "The name of your nemesis, I mean. I wonder about that sometimes as much as my soulmate's name. Like I am civil with everyone I can't even imagine having someone as a nemesis." 

"I-I never thought about it." Renjun mumbles, and Jeno can almost hear the gears turning in his head, as his facial expression turns more and more panicked. "Wait, you mean to tell me I might have Lee Donghyuck itched on my skin for eternity?"

"I guess." Jeno mutters, regretting bringing it up to the Chinese boy, and planting the idea in his head.

"That can't happen." Renjun exclaims, as if he has any saying of the names that will appear on his wrists once he hits 21. "I will literally burn my skin off."

"Dude, I was just saying. It might not even be Donghyuck. All your fights are stupid middle schoolers quarrels anyways." Jeno realizes how stupid he is for saying this when Renjun gives him his infamous murderous glare, and if looks could kill, Jeno would be Renjun’s second victim, for the day.

"Donghyuck is in fact a ing middle schooler, but I am in no way that. He left me to die today, okay? I don't think I'll ever hate someone as much as I hate him." Renjun then adds as an afterthought. "I ing loath him."

"How did he exactly leave you to die? If I might ask." Jeno questions amusedly, familiar with Renjun’s tendency to exaggerate. And as the latter explains to him the unfortunate events of this morning, Jeno is once again proven right. "How would he even know you were in pain? He might have been annoying, yes, but that's just Donghyuck for you."

"Are you my friend or his?" Renjun mumbles in distaste.

Jeno raises his hands defenselessly, Renjun’s bag still in his grasp which makes him look ridiculous. "I am not siding with him, I am just not agreeing with you."

Renjun huffs, crossing his arms. "So basically siding with him."

"Remember when I insinuated that you're a middle schooler? Yeah, I take it back. You're a whole baby."






It's absurd how Renjun has never thought of his soulmate or nemesis' identities, but now that Jeno talked about it, he can't stop thinking about it. And in his attempt of assuring that Donghyuck’s name doesn't appear on him next month, he tries to not let the other boy get to him, fighting the urge to fantasize over the numerous ways he can murder him. But it proves to be hard, especially when Renjun can't seem to even stand the way Donghyuck breathes.

"What's wrong injunnie?" Donghyuck asks in that fake sweet tone of his, the one Renjun despises the most. The latter doesn't even give him the satisfaction of turning to look at him, even when he can see from the corner of his eyes that Donghyuck has his cheek pressed on his palm as he stares at the boy's side profile.

"Don't call me that."

"Why does Jaemin get to call you that and not me?" Donghyuck whines loudly, too loud that the teacher sends him a disapproving look. "You're not even close. Heck, he knows you through me."

Renjun scoffs, finally giving in and turning his head towards Donghyuck, surprising the latter, who inches back, either intimidated by Renjun’s glare, or their sudden proximity. Renjun doesn't know nor care. "All you did was say you know a science nerd in your class when he asked for a tutor. And unlike you, Jaemin is lovely."

Donghyuck pouts, blinking at Renjun with his puppy eyes that makes the latter flatter for a second. "Just say you hate me and go."

"I hate you." Renjun deadpans bluntly, before turning back to the board.

"Wait no," Donghyuck pulls at his arm so he looks at him again. "I didn't mean it literally. You actually hate me?"

Renjun turns to him, surprised at how hurt he looks. But believing that this is just another elaborate plan to guilt trip him just so Donghyuck has the upper hand yet again, Renjun nods affirmatively, ignoring the way Donghyuck’s face falls even more and how small and dejected the small "okay." He mutters is.








"Can you imagine that he didn't know I hate him?" Renjun snickers, slurping the ramen he just made.

Jeno has a matching ramen bowl, also made by Renjun, but instead of eating it, he's busy giving the boy, across from him on the couch, a judgmental look. "The more you tell me about your endeavors with Donghyuck, the more I come to realize that it's you the in the story."

Renjun chokes through the noodles, pushing Jeno's hand off him when the latter pats his back a bit too aggressively. "You're unbelievable. I have never done anything to spite him," he backtracks when Jeno gives him a pointed look. "I never start the hostility at the very least. It's always him being a pain in the ."

"I don't know, from what you usually tell me, it sounds like harmless banter. It's you who blows everything out of proportion. And now you even hurt his feelings."

Renjun scowls. "He should have known. Plus either way, I think he was just surprised. I don't think he cares all that much. He will go back to his annoying self now, and I'll go back to hating him."

Jeni shrugs. "If you say so."









Donghyuck doesn't go back to his annoying self. Instead, he stops talking to Renjun, and goes out of his way to avoid him. Renjun is quick to notice, it's easy when there's always a lack of stupid commentaries in most of his classes, or someone stubbornly trying to get his attention. And the boy confirms it when he sees Donghyuck walking his way, and before Renjun can decide if he should confront him or enjoy the new peace, Donghyuck has already changed directions and is speed walking the opposite way.

It stops bothering Renjun at some point though, between being stressed over his assignments and excited to be going to China for spring break, the silence and peace resulting from Donghyuck avoiding him is very much welcomed.

And with the lack of a certain Lee Donghyuck, Renjun doesn't think of whose name would appear on his right wrist anymore. Not even when it's about to strike midnight, the night of his birthday. He's too focused on his left wrist, as he sits in his childhood room, after pretending that he was jet lagged so he can slip away from his family, claiming that he will sleep it off and check the writing on his wrists the next morning. They let him off easily, even though his mom gives him an all knowing look, probably aware of his plan but also understanding his need to be alone.

It's a strange sensation, watching foreign yet permanent letters appear on your skin, bold and black. Most people sleep through the process, choosing to never know what it feels like firsthand. But the more daring ones stay and watch, just like Renjun, whose heartbeat thumps in his ears, the mixture of emotions swirling inside of him overwhelming him. He knows he's curious and excited for this, he has been since he was a child. As much as he tried to hide it, he has always been a romantic in nature, the thought of having someone destined to love you and be with you has been such a relief. And yet he couldn't fight the nervousness, anxiousness and doubt.

Renjun tries to suppress it, focusing on his excitement, and the thought that the universe wouldn't let him down.

And yet it did.

Renjun watches in puzzlement and confusion, as the word 'Lee Donghyuck' appears on his skin. He feels his heart lodging in his throat, reading the Korean letters again and again. But it still says Lee Donghyuck, and it continues to say that through a blurry vision, and it says it again when Renjun blinks down the tears.

He breathes shakily, rubbing his eyes so hard he starts seeing black spots. But even then, 'Lee Donghyuck' is still itched on his skin. Deep in his denial, Renjun somehow convinces himself that he mixed his right and left, that Donghyuck is indeed his nemesis and that's the only reason why his name is on his skin. So he checks his other wrist, expecting anything but what he finds.

He expects anything but Donghyuck’s name yet again.

Renjun lays back defeatedly, raising his arms and staring daggers at his wrists. He remembers how he told Jeno he would burn his skin off if Donghyuck’s name appeared on him. But he never thought of the possibility of it appearing twice. He never thought of the possibility of Donghyuck being his soulmate.

"Donghyuck’s my soulmate." He mumbles under his breath, as if he just realized that fact. The words make him shudder, settling the reality deeper in his mind. And as much as he tries to deny it, pretend that name isn't there and that the implication of it being there means nothing, it's fruitless. Even when he rubs on his skin, it stays there, the skin around it turning red and irritated, but the words stay there, the red making them more apparent. And it seems like whatever effort Renjun does to reject the reality, it only makes it stronger.

I dare u to tell me Donghyuck’s name didnt appear on ur wrist

Renjun sighs at Jeno's message, wanting to scream in frustration.

Bet, he sends back. 'Bet you didn’t think it would be on both sides' he wants to say, but he would rather kill himself than admit that Donghyuck is his soulmate.

He leaves his room, wishing for any kind of distraction. But also hoping that everyone is asleep and he can sneak to the kitchen and drink enough that he can't read Korean letters anymore.

His drinking plans go down the drain when he spots his mother in the living room, as if waiting for this exact moment. She notices him before he gets to retreat back, and suddenly he's self-aware of his red eyes and the tear tracks on his cheeks. He wipes his face quickly, pretending that he was just getting something off it. His mother smiles at him, patting the space besides her. Renjun finds no reason to escape at this point, his need for company and comfort over-weighing his want to avoid anyone and everyone, so he joins her quietly m.

He's delighted to find his mother drinking wine, and even though it wouldn't have been his first drink of choice, it serves the purpose. "Can I join you?" He asks, gesturing to the bottle, and she nods, standing up from the couch. "Let me get you a glass."

They cling their glasses once Renjun pours a drink for himself, and they both giggle, reminiscing over the past when they would do this but young Renjun would have a wine glass full of juice. His mother comments on how quickly he had grown, and they fall into casual conversation. It's nice and comfortable, serving the kind of distraction the boy was searching for. Except for the fact that it's hard for him to ignore the way his mother keeps on glancing over his wrists, or the way her eyebrows furrowed at the foreign letters on her son's skin.

"So, do you recognize the names?" She asks half an hour through their conversation, unable to hold it anymore.

Renjun visibly tenses, pulling his sleeves to hide his wrists. "Not quite." He mumbles, unable to fully lie to his mother.

She averts her eyes from his now covered wrists to his eyes, frowning in confusion. "What does that supposed to mean?"

"I-I mean, I think I heard that name before. Maybe we go to the same university."

"Which one of them?" 

"What?"

"Which name do you think you recognize, Renjun?" His mother repeats slowly, as if she's explaining a basic concept to a child.

"Oh.. hehe." Renjun laughs awkwardly. "The one on the right."

His mother laughs, hopefully not picking up on Renjun’s odd behavior. "And who would that be?"

"Euh.. Lee..Jeno?" Renjun blurts before he can think it through, realizing his mistake when it's already too late.

"Wait, isn't that your roommate? I thought you were best friends?" His mother questions in concern. "I don't really know him, but he sounded lovely."

"Haha, got you." The boy exclaims, grinning widely yet strained in hopes of sounding convincing. "I was just testing to see if you listen to me during our calls. The name is Mark Lee." Renjun sends his Canadian friend a silent apology.

"Oh, okay. Sounds foreign."

Renjun laughs tensely. "I know right. Probably should avoid him now."

"What about your soulmate's? I might not know Korean but it looked kind of similar."

"Oh, that's cause they have the same family name." And Renjun can't be more thankful for the fact that Lee was such a generic family name. "It's Lee Dong, euh, Donghyuck."

"Such a pretty name." The woman grins widely, and Renjun agrees, mirroring her smile even though he still can feel the shadow of his tears on his face.







Renjun finds it impossible to not think of a certain Lee for the rest of his days in China. He goes from almost forgetting his existence and getting rid of every once of guilt he had for probably hurting the boy's feelings, to being reminded of him with every glimpse he gets of his wrists, and every question from his family. They question the Korean letters, and mourn the Chinese soulmate he will never have. The latter reaction rubs the boy the wrong way, knowing full well the intentions of their unnecessary comments. Reminders of a Chinese ex boyfriend that broke Renjun’s heart when the shorter's name didn't appear on his left wrist.

And as unfair as it is to Donghyuck, Renjun can’t help but wonder how much easier it would be if Yukhei's name was itched on him, and how much that would have made much more sense. But seems like the universe didn’t think the same.

And even though Renjun really hated the unwanted attention from everyone around him, he still dreaded his flight back to Korea. He isn't sure what he will do once he reaches there, but the one thing that he knows is that no one is seeing the names on his skin any time soon.







"You look ridiculous." Jeno declares on their drive home. "You know that, right?" He adds when Renjun keeps quiet.

"Focus on the road, Jeno Lee."

"Okay, but are you going to explain the excessive use of bracelets? Cause I'm sure as hell not about to pretend I didn't notice."

Renjun sighs, glancing at his arms, his left adorned with an apple watch gifted by his cousin, Chenle and a couple of bracelets just in case. While the other side had about eight other leather bracelets. The boy is now realizing that he might have went overboard. But in his panic over people being able to read the names, he brought every black bracelet he came across in the airport.

"It's called fashion."

"Unless they replaced you with a clone that isn't sure how to behave as Huang Renjun, I hope you don't actually expect me to buy that."

"Don't sass me." He retorts, adding when Jeno keeps on glancing at him still expecting an answer. "I just haven't come to terms with these darn names. Is that a good enough explanation?"

This time when Jeno looks at him, he's frowning, his eyes swimming in worry. "Hey, I didn't mean to push you. I am sorry.” He apologizes, before focusing back on the road. “Take your time to accept the names and tell me whenever you feel like it."

"Okay, thanks." The Chinese boy whispers sincerely.

"And you can talk to me about it at any time. Without mentioning any names of course." Jeno adds, still very much concerned.

"I know, Jeno." Renjun smiles, and even though it's barely there but it assures Jeno, because it's the first real smile he sees on his friend since he picked him up.

It's silent except for the song coming from the radio for a moment, before Jeno blurts. "Hey, I hope I didn't pressure you even more with the Donghyuck thing."

'The Donghyuck thing', Renjun finds it so hard to fight the urge to scoff, not when the whole thing is now about Donghyuck.

"Don't worry about it." He manages to mutter instead.







The weekend passes by a flash, the spring break ending with it. Classes start right after, and with that Renjun discovers that Donghyuck is still adamant on avoiding him, he also discovers that the fact bothers him very much so now. He watches solemnly, as Donghyuck goes to sit in the farthest seat from him, never looking back, never glancing at him. Renjun only knows that because he stares at the back of his head the whole duration of their classes, and some more as Donghyuck makes his way out of the class.

The guilt that once tickled Renjun’s heart, now overtakes every fiber of him, suffocating him whenever he either spots the name on his skin, or the owner of said name himself. And it's so hard to ignore that even Jeno notices, bringing it up on their irregular grocery shopping trip, that Jeno keeps calling regular even after Renjun had already explained to him time and time how untrue that is.

"I am not on edge." Renjun fires back at Jeno's 'outrageous' claim.

"Yeah right. And I am shorter than you." Jeno reaches for the cereal box that his friend fails to reach, sticking his tongue playfully at a displeased Renjun.

"Why do you always come for my height?” Renjun whines. “This is an abomination towards me and my fellow short kings."

Jeno giggles, patting Renjun’s black hair, his hand sliding down and resting on his neck. "It's the only thing I know that has a 100% success rate of triggering you." He pauses, as if contemplating his next words, before deciding to add. "Besides a certain Donghyuck of course."

Renjun tenses at the mention of his supposedly soulmate, nemesis, and whatever combo that makes. Jeno's expression morphs into one of worry when he feels Renjun stiffening under his touch. "Is he still avoiding you?" Renjun nods. "But I thought that stopped bothering you?"

Renjun sighs deeply, going back to rolling their shopping cart, effectively getting Jeno’s arm off him and forcing the latter to follow with his pace. "So did I. But we thought wrong."

"Well, why don't you just apologize?" Jeno suggests, rolling his eyes when Renjun gives him a scandalized look. "It's the most logical course of action!"

"B-but.." Renjun pouts, aware that his friend’s statement is right, yet he can’t help but feel too prideful to apologize. "Why do you always choose the Nobel thing to do? I wish once you would tell me to break the rules, do crimes."

Jeno laughs. "That's your job! One of us should be the rational one here."

Renjun gasps in offense. "How dare you say that? I AM rational."

"Mostly. But it seems like once it comes to Donghyuck, all your braincells seize to function."

Renjun is rendered speechless, as he thinks of the way he has always treated Donghyuck, impulsively and driven by emotions. Never thinking before speaking nor trying to understand the other's intentions. "I wanna disagree. But-"

"But you know I am right." Jeno smirks triumphally. "As always."

Renjun rolls his eyes, pinching his friend's arm. " I wouldn't go that far."








Apologizing to Donghyuck turns out to be harder than Renjun thought, and it surprisingly has more to do with the fact that Donghyuck is avoiding him still rather than convincing himself that this is the right thing to do. The latter turned out to be not that hard of a thing to do, and once Renjun had his mind set, he wouldn’t back down; not even when Donghyuck doesn’t seem to want to look at him, let alone listen to him.

Renjun never felt like a stalker like this moment, as he sneaks behind Donghyuck after their classes. Thankfully, no one reports Renjun for suspicious behavior, and his cover doesn't get blown before Donghyuck reach his destination. The latter takes place under one of the big trees, probably opting to nap between his classes. Too bad for him, Renjun thinks, adamant on talking to the boy, even on the expenses of the latter’s plans.

"Hey."

Donghyuck jumps at the unexpected sound, whipping his head up and looking at Renjun like a deer caught in a red light. "Are you stalking me?"

"Why would you ask that?" Renjun feigns ignorance. "It's shouldn't be hard to spot you on campus. Unless you were deliberately making sure I don't find you."

The boy somehow looks guilty, taken back and upset all at once and Renjun isn't sure he can deal with any of that. "I wasn't avoiding you."

Renjun snickers. "I didn't say you were."

Donghyuck frowns. "But you were insinuating it."

Renjun opens his mouth to retort, Donghyuck giving him a challenging look, ready to strike back. But then he remembers why he's here in the first place and sighs, flopping on the ground besides Donghyuck, much to the other's displease. "Look, I am not here to fight, or start anything."

"You aren't?" The surprised tone Donghyuck uses is quite offending, but Renjun pretends he doesn't pick up on it.

"Yeah. I just-'" he groans, running his hand through his black hair. "I want to apologize."

Donghyuck tilts his head in confusion, furrowing his eyebrows in puzzlement. "What?"

"I am sorry." Renjun finally says, and he wishes he was able to say that while looking directly at Donghyuck, making sure that the latter knows that he's being sincere. But his eyes involuntarily train to his fingers that are playing with his bracelets, finding Donghyuck’s gaze too strong to hold to. "I didn't realize it on the moment, and I didn't mean to, but I am sorry for hurting you last time."

Donghyuck purses his lips. "Are you sorry because you didn't mean what you said or didn't mean to hurt me by what you said?"

The words, albeit said softly, serve as a slap to the face. Renjun sits speechless, thinking through what he can say to such a question, but Donghyuck seems to find the silence an answer in itself. "You don't have to look that conflicted, I already know you hate me, you made it clear last time. But I appreciate the apology, even though its unnecessary. I mean you shouldn't apologize for how you feel, Renjun."

"I know, but I just-" Renjun hates how Donghyuck keeps making him speechless. "I assumed you knew that and that you felt the same. I wouldn't have said it otherwise," he mutters, adding when he feels as if the letters on his skin are burning. "Plus, I don't hate you per se. You were just getting on my nerves. As I probably do for you too."

"You don't get on my nerves."

Donghyuck’s words and the bashful look in his face pierce right through Renjun’s heart. "Oh."

Donghyuck chuckles, but it's devoid of any humor. "Yeah, oh."

The air between them is thick, the tension weighing on Renjun’s shoulders, as he goes back to fumbling with his bracelets. Donghyuck eyes follow his hands, raising his eyebrow at the sight but saying nothing. "You can ask."

"Really?" Donghyuck looks at him with big hopefully eyes making him regret trying to lighten the mood with another stupid joke of his.

"Y-yeah, but I won't answer." Renjun tries not to giggle at the way Donghyuck’s smile falls and the pout that replaces it. "Am I getting on your nerves yet?"

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. "You really need more than that to get to me Huang Renjun."

"Brave coming from someone who avoided me weeks if not months over an 'I hate you'."

"Too soon." Donghyuck sulks.

"You're too sensitive."

"Yeah," Donghyuck huffs. "I am baby."

Instead of feeling annoyed like he usually is by Donghyuck’s childish antics, Renjun feels somewhat endeared, fighting the urge to pinch the other's puffed cheeks. "At least you're self-aware of your mental age."