“Hey, are you alright?” His voice sounded through my locked door. I can hear him trying to open the door, but the unmovable knob gave him the false hope that it would open for him. “You’ve been hiding away in your room for a long time and we’re all getting worried.”

            I hid myself further into my sheets, scared to be seen by him although there was no way he could.

            “You haven’t eaten for days now and I barely see you anymore…” Baekhyun’s voice cracked a little. I felt bad that I am the cause of him feeling this way; the way I felt like I was burdening him. “I can’t help but be more worried than anyone else in this house. Please I just need to know if you’re okay in there. If you’re hurting, I can, and I want to help. I need my Seoul back… Please Seoul.”

            I slowly sat up and stared at the door. My room was pitch black, but I can see his shadow through the crack at the bottom of the door where the hallway light was the only source of light peeking through the room.

            “Seoul, I’m serious. I can’t take this anymore, I’m going to break this door down and feed you food whether you like it or not,” I can hear his small pout as he talks. “Okay, I’m ready. I’m coming in on the count of three! One… Two… Thr-”

            I swung the door open quickly as he was about to lunged himself at the door. I eyed him quickly before padding back to the comfort of my bed. “Doors are too expensive to replace.” I muttered as I face my back to him under the safety of my blankets.

            “Ha, they sure are. Of course, I would pay for the damages not you,” he flicked on my desk lamp, knowing that the room lights would be too traumatic for me. I then felt the bed dip as he sat down right behind me. “I would probably injure myself too and that would be no good ha-ha.” But I wasn’t laughing.

            Baekhyun sighed. “What’s wrong Seoul? Did I do something wrong?” I shook my head no. “That’s good then. Did something at school?”

            No, not exactly at school.

            “Does it relate to school?”

            Kind of.

            “Was it your friends you met at school? Did you they do something to you?”

            Yes and…

            “Seoul…” he put a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head towards him to see his eyes glistening in the light and just the slight tilt of his lips just give off such a warming and comforting aura from him that makes me want to pour my entire heart into his hands to hold and care for.

            I finally sat up keeping my head down and looking at him through my lashes. He tilted his head at me like a small puppy. I can’t help but to give in to him.  Don’t know if he knows how much he influences me, and I hate that so much. No matter how much I want to hide away from the world, he’s there calls me out from a crowd of people and put the spotlight on me and yet, he’s the only one who notices me.

            “Will you please tell me?” His pout deepened and he lowered himself to look at me at my face. He reached over to tuck away the piece of hair that was covering my face like a curtain behind my ear. “Hm?”

            “I’m not feeling good.” I spoke softly; trying to keep myself steady. “I’m having these bad thoughts up here.” I tapped my head.

            “About your friends?”

            “About me. I feel like no one likes me, I’m forgotten, and things just don’t… want to work in my favor,” I choked a little trying to keep my tears in. “I try my best to think that’s it’s okay or that it’s not like that. I just can’t help but to think that way.”

            “Can you tell me exactly what happen? I need to know so I can help you feel better.”

            I nodded my head. “Friends are just a reoccurring thing where I’m not invited, or I’m just not talked to and I need to keep switching around friend groups. I thought moving out here was the best thing for, but it’s so hard when everyone already has their own thing going on and I just seem like the person trying to shove themselves in someone else’s life. It’s like my life back in Seoul is happening all over again for me…” I couldn’t hold it in anymore and the tears began rolling down my cheeks.

            “It’s okay. Take your time,” his voice was oh so soft and calming. At this point, I wasn’t focused on how much I admire him, it was more of that I was needing someone to really be there for me when there isn’t anyone else willing to give me their time.

            “I just can’t take that I give so much of my time and effort trying to be friends with people when they won’t return it. I know I shouldn’t expect much from people, but I feel if you want to call me your close friend then be close friends with me.

I also know that social media is a terrible thing in our lives now but I don’t like how those so-called close friends don’t even comment or reply back to me like every time I post a picture of myself there’s no one else saying ‘omg, you’re so pretty”, “wow, that’s my bff”, “cute”. But whatever it doesn’t matter anyway. Maybe I should just get off or just not post. If I’m looking for people’s opinions, then what’s the point when I’m not getting it.”

            I was having the major sniffles by now and the small, hot tears still coming through. “Besides that, there’s that breakfast event for students and their families for excellence academia and since it’s my first time here and getting an award I thought it’s an important event. Well, my cousin that I’m really close with said that she wants to come and visit me and she really wants to come, but then she just texted that she wouldn’t be able to come until later that afternoon… and she talked about how she wants to go the breakfast and got my hopes up.

            The world doesn’t revolve around me, but I wish it did sometimes especially when this event is not specifically just for me, but for my inner circle of people that know just me, it is for me. But none of that is going to happen. It’s not like I want to go anyway, no one would want to ask me to sit them.” I stopped talking to continue crying.

            “Oh no, Seoul,” Baekhyun scooped me up into his arms and held me for a long time. “It really does you no good for me to say that it isn’t like that since you already aware of that. And you know what? them. To be honest, you deserve so much better. I know it’s hard to go through this all by yourself and I can’t believe how strong you are. You are so-so strong, Seoul. Those guys just can’t see that you’re such a vital person that they need in life. They’re the ones that are weak because it seems that they crave more of that attention than you do. They’d probably be more upset if they didn’t get any comments.

            And your cousin? She sounds lame anyway. If she wanted to attend this important event, she should work out her schedule much better. Sure, it may not be exactly her fault, but she should have done something for her to get here on time.” He blew a puff of air into my hair and leaned his head down to settle on top of mine. “I can’t promise things will get better, but for sure you can ditch those so-called friends of yours and become a lonely hermit like me.”

            “Is that supposed to make me laugh?” I moved my head out from under him and showcased a large pout, ready to cry again. “I’m going to live my entire life lonely.”

            “Oh no, no that’s not what I meant! Uhm… you can live in my shell with me so you’re not lonely anymore,” he smiled and gently caressed my cheek to wipe away the pout. “Come on, Seoul, I didn’t almost just break down your door to not make you laugh with my jokes.”

            “Get better jokes then,” I stated with a straight face.

            “Hey, you’re no fun,” he rolled his eyes. He chuckled. “Seriously though, I see that you’ve burned a lot of bridges back then and might have to do some more but hey, if they don’t make you feel good then why continue being friends with them. It’s okay to move on and continue on until you find people who make you feel important and people who are willing to be your friend.”

            “You really think so?”

            “Well sure. It’s a little hard when I’ve been to school with the same group of people for years but that doesn’t mean they’re my lifelong friends now. I hung out with multiple people and some people I clicked with but there was never that spark until I met Chanyeol. It was like a match made in heaven because we just became super close and stayed close friends. Chanyeol then introduced me to Jongdae, Jongin, Sehun, Kyungsoo, and two other guys and we’ve just clicked so well that we’ve made a pack to marry each other if we don’t find anyone else by the time, we’re 35.”

            Now that made me burst out laughing. “There’s my sweet Seoul. Music to my ears to hear you laughing again.”

            “You’d marry Chanyeol?” I raised an eyebrow at the male and he shrugged.

            “I told you there was a spark and it was a match made in heaven,” he grinned. “Chanyeol is really that guy you can depend on.”

            “Jongdae though?”

            “Uh… maybe not that guy.”

            Baekhyun sighed and gently gazed down at me. I immediately felt very vulnerable and soft just by his look. He lifted his hand to curl a piece of hair behind my ear again before sliding his hand down cupping the side of my cheek. “Can I take you out for dinner?”

            My head immediately popped up. Is he asking me out on a date? I was starting to get giddy inside.

            Baekhyun spoke up again. “I mean you haven’t come down for dinner and you must be hungry. I think it’d be nice if you walk outside for a bit for some fresh air.”

            I guess not a date. I nodded my head. “Would you like me to leave for you to get ready?”

            I shook my head. “I’ll just go as I am. I’m not impressing anyone.”

            He chuckled. “Are you sure? You’re not going to impress me.”

            “Don’t I already impress you?” I winked at him.

            He held a hand to his heart and acted as if he was very flattered. “I mean…”

            “Let’s just go,” I rolled my eyes and hopped out of my bed.

            “Ah, wait,” he stopped me from further exiting my room. He looked down at me as his eyebrows furrowed together.

            “What?”

            “You should maybe put on some pants,” I looked down to see my bare legs from my shorts. I shrugged my shoulders, but he still wouldn’t let me pass him. “Put some on. It’s dark and cold outside.”

            I shook my head and entered my closet to change into a comfy pair of jeans to go under my large sweatshirt. “Happy?”

            He grinned and nodded his hand, taking my hand in his. “Let’s go!”

            Baekhyun took me to a nearby Italian restaurant and it had a very hipster vibe to it, so I at least didn’t look too out of place with my lazy look of the night as well as Baekhyun. I soon took notice that he wasn’t in his usual work outfit but in an oversized beige, printed knit sweater, a white t-shirt peeking from underneath, and ripped blue jeans. It was a different fit that he was sporting, and it made him look very young. Not that he wasn’t already young looking, but he didn’t look as mature like a man who is 8 years older than me. As much as I love his formal wear, I was falling all over for him with this youthful, street style. He’s definitely my type.

            “Thank you for this,” I softly whisper and yet, loud enough for him to hear. He was in the middle of digging into his spaghetti when I spoke up.

            “Anything for you,” Baekhyun grinned and dipped his fork into his dish as I did the same. “You’re willing to open up with to me and I’m grateful for that beside now I feel like I can have someone to open up to and you won’t judge me for it as I vice versa.

            You are currently my closest friend that I enjoy being with and that’s all I could ever ask for.”

I feel like I keep teasing y'all with these semi-dates.. woops SORRY! But I promise you that things will escalate soon just keep holding on for a couple for chapters please!