[10]

Love Air

A month passed since my accident and we were all surprised how quickly I recovered. After considering what a few days was, Baekhyun took me to the university hospital to see where my current condition was. The doctor said that it was time for the cast to be put on. I wasn’t too excited for that part since I still wouldn’t be able to move around much.

            Once the cast was on, I became miserable. I didn’t realize that this cast wasn’t going to be small and just be around my foot-ankle area. This was a large cast that nearly went up to my knee! It was very snug around my leg, it felt itchy and it was just gross and I know it’ll be even more disgusting after I take it off all the dead skin will be flaking off, which is what indeed happened.

            I spent weeks in the annoying cast before being able to finally be free from it. That wasn’t the end of it.

            The boot.

            I honestly didn’t have a problem with the boot. It was actually pretty comfortable to wear and it was squishy inside. I walked with a bit of a hobble but I was walking! I wasn’t a 4 legged creature anymore with those damn crutches that made my arms sore.

            The only thing that I enjoyed the most about this whole experience is that Baekhyun was by my side for the entirety of it. He made it to the point that he would schedule my doctor’s appointment according to, of course to my schedule, but to his as well so that he’d be the one to take me. He’d bring up my meals to my room, help me get down and up the stairs, drive me to school and then walk me to classes as he carries my backpack.

            It put me in wonder if I was really special to him that he’d give his all solely to me. He must like me back I would think until he mentioned how much a big brother he felt when talking me my doctor’s appointment. That hurt me. Real bad.

            I feel like I want to be in denial about being family-zoned by thinking that he didn’t exactly say I was like a sister to him but he was also saying I felt like a sister. I’ve been talking to Jongdae a lot since I promised I would see him with my Baekhyun problems and he knows Baekhyun the best. It was weird that I wasn’t getting much from a girl’s perspective but I’ve haven’t gotten a chance to meet any of the girls and I’m still not as close with them as I am with Jongdae and Baekhyun.

            Speaking of being close to girls, I’ve honestly haven’t made much friends in my classes besides Ha Won and a couple of other girls I met through Ha Won. I’m not complaining too much though as I knew when you get to college you don’t meet much people and yet, those few people that you meet may be your lifelong friends.

Ha Won was a fun person to be around. I mentioned before how well we clicked when we first met during Winter quarter and I enjoyed talking to her a lot about the commonalities we had with each other and it was a little hard to tell if she felt the same since she seemed to not really talk much or her tone was a little monotonous, however, I learned that’s the way she way. She always talked quietly with not much emotional until she’s really riled up about something. We hung out a couple times outside of school and with some of the other girls as well, so I considered us kind of close, at least close in that way that we aren’t strictly classmates that only meet and talk during class.

            The girls and I were sitting together during our break in the middle of class. It’s supposed to be a time of discussion, but we finished early being on the same page and knowing that we were correct anyways.

            “So how was your birthday party, Ha Won? I’m sorry I couldn’t make it,” Jinny pouted her lips. “Chungjin planned to take me out that day.”

            Birthday party? Ha Won had a birthday party? And I wasn’t invited. I didn’t want to seem too upset because maybe we weren’t that close than I thought we were. I don’t know… I feel like I should have been invited since she invited me to other things that she was attending like the school musical, concert stuff that she didn’t want to go alone to and so I was there to accompany her.

            “Aw, no worries. You and Chungjin deserve to spend some time together since he’s always so busy. It was fun though! We did so much, right girls?” The other 3 girls nodded her heads.

            So pretty much all the girls here were invited, but me.

            After a few more sentences about the party the subject was then changed to how the week was going for everyone with Ha Won started how she was loving it since after her party, she felt so great and everything was working in her favor and the other girls agreeing as well with the sudden roll of eyes over the amount of homework they’re getting in their other classes.

            “Yeah, I swear he doesn’t want to calm down with the amount of assignments he’s giving us. It’s all online and he just keeps putting up one after another,” Yubin scrunched her face in disgust as she complained about her history teacher.

            “Honestly, I have the same problem with-”

            “I had the same teacher fall quarter and he was so annoying,” Areum commented interrupting me.

            “Mr. Yi is the same way. He’s always giving up a new chapter to look over. Have any of you guys had Mr. Yi?” I asked.

            “The quarter is almost over anyway so let’s hope I can get through this,” Yubin replied.

            “Who let that guy be a teacher anyway? He sounds way too pushy and overworking to be a teacher,” Ha Won scoffed. My question was dismissed by the group of girls.

“I mean Mr. Cha can’t-”

            “Yeah, it’s all about getting those good teachers. Maybe I’ll talk to Chungjin to recommend some teachers for next school year,” Jinny proposed.

            I kept silent for the rest of the conversation. I shrugged off that I kept getting interrupted or my input was getting dismissed without any consideration. It wasn’t anything unusual for it happened every once in a while where I would talk and nothing would be said about it and the conversation would move on to something else. I’m sure they weren’t doing it on purpose, right? Let’s not repeat the past.

           

            It was the end of the school day and usually Baekhyun would walk with me back home but this time he said that he had to stay back to for a meeting, which I was totally okay with. Baekhyun honestly spends so much time with me that I wasn’t even sure how much time he was spending doing or thinking about work.

            Hours after returning from school, I just finished doing some small bits of homework before getting exhausted by looking at sophisticated wording that I did not understand. Muttering a whatever, I left my open textbook on my desk and slithered onto my comfy bed. I did not want to worry too much about homework since it was spring break now and I can enjoy a week of doing absolutely nothing.

            Flipping on my phone and going straight to Snapchat, I scrolled through my friend’s story and the most recent one being Ha Won’s then Yubin’s. It looked like she was hanging out with all the girls at the nearby café with drinks and the small deserts. The captions were a little painful to read.

            ‘All the girls that I ever and only need and no one else’

            ‘Spending Spring break right with my favorite girls’

            Why wasn’t I invited with them? My first time meeting them, they made these promises of hanging out all together and doing stuff like go to the café, arcades, and shopping. I did go do some of those things with them, but not as much as they go all together as four. Seeing those short videos made me feel funny inside.

            I pressed my lips together and closed down Snapchat to move to Instagram. Of course, the most recent post popped up and it was once again Ha Won’s picture of herself in Paris from her winter trip. She looked stunning in her mini skirt, thick sweater and beret as she stood underneath the towering Eiffel Tower. The picture also reminded me when I asked her to bring me a souvenir and she never did. It’s okay though because I wasn’t expecting much since it was her vacation and she had the right to not think of other people since it was a time for her to focus on herself and relax.  Yet, it also got me thinking about how the other girls had Eiffel Tower keychains.

            I doubled tapped the photo to like it, adding to the hundreds of like she had already gained. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I scrolled through the comments to see many people saying how pretty and cute she was and how jealous they were because she went to Paris or that she was just so pretty. The amount of heart eyes her followers sent was overpowering to the wordy comments.

            Seeing this got me thinking again. Going to my own profile, I posted a picture of myself yesterday of me at that same café the girls were at. I thought my outfit was really cute and I loved the aesthetic of me with my drink and cupcake that I made Baekhyun take pictures of me and I enjoyed the pictures a lot that I wanted it post about it.

            I had a substantial amount of likes around 170 likes, nothing compared to Ha Won’s 700 plus, I still didn’t mind it though or so that I keep telling myself that. I clicked on the comments section knowing it would be empty, I looked anyway. Yep, still empty; like all of my other posts that I thought I looked really pretty in.

            I’d like to think that I’m pretty average looking, not too pretty nor ugly. I know that I look good and I love myself to that point that I know that I’m not the most hideous thing on this earth. It’d be nice to get a compliment or two when I’m feeling exceptionally pretty, you know? Especially from friends that I thought I was close to.

            This was bad. I never thought I would go back to feeling this way again; the feeling that no one likes. No one cares. My friends aren’t real and they’re just people I’m with to have company. All these and many more were thoughts that used to keep me up at night. These were the thoughts that made me a different person at school than I was at home.

I remember when I brought friends over for a school project in high school and how I was so excited, laughing, and showing them my album collection when my friend told me that I was so different being in my room than I was at classroom where I was more reserved with very few words and expressions. I sugar coated it being like, “oh, my room is my safe haven and school is not a place for me to act this wild.” Mainly being true and a part of it being that I was only reserved because no one is listening to what I was saying or paying attention to me. I would sit with a group of friends and then leave to go to the bathroom or even not return and no one would realize I was gone.

My appetite was soon diminished by these returning thoughts and now all I wanted to do was hide away in darkness.

And that’s exactly what I did for days. I was too ashamed of myself to face anyone to thinking they’re only doing this because we live together and eat dinner together.

I hid away silently acting as if I was sleeping when someone would come in to check up on me and to see if I was hungry for dinner. I locked the door to make them stop coming in.

            Alone was all I wanted to be as I know that these are just passing thoughts and will go away with some time. Just how it would be when I would have such thoughts on my mind and no one to turn to.

            Yet, the isolation I desired wasn’t going to last for so long.


 

EEEEK Sorry for really ANGSTY chapter.... BUTTTTTTTT it's been over a week since OBSeSSION was released!!! ANd I've been OBSESSED. Everyone looked so so so sos so sos sooooo good!!! MY GOD I feel in love with Baekhyun even more. What are your thoughts on Obssession? Are you streaming?

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taurauswithcancer
#1
Chapter 10: Binge reading all the chapters & this chapter really touched me... Specially about social media & how she thought about herself & expecting a simple compliment... I can relate to her so much coz even I think the same
miildBreeze_
#2
Chapter 17: i just want to say that i'm glad reading this story:') the part i like the most is when seoul talkin about her 'friends' and social media that is so true for me.. thank you for this story
channijang
#3
Chapter 17: I never knew there this fluff baekhyun's story
I was searching for baek's fic and here i am finding a gem ♡♡
I love how the plot not too complecated and more on the light side. Its so easy and good to read. Also i love how seoul and baek relationship developing
Not too rushed also not too slow either
Anyway, i just really like this
And it really is the kinda story that i searched for
Good job authornim♡
alexajjang
#4
Chapter 17: Thank you so much for write about their marriage! Finally our Baekhyun is a married man with the cutest girl :3 he's so damn sweet like a prince here. She really won the lottery with him. Everything was perfect ❤ I will kis BaekSeoul couple :(
ikran12 #5
Chapter 17: Omg,they’re so cuteee
BubuBaek_Na94 #6
Chapter 17: So cuteeeeeee!!! I’m deaddd!!!!! Can I get another chapter when you have kids please!!!!!!!!!! Love you!!!
alexajjang
#7
Chapter 16: omg my Baekhyunnie is the sweetest boyfriend in the world *cries* the cutest and hottest oppa ever ❤

can't believe this is the end :(
BubuBaek_Na94 #8
Chapter 16: Wait! That’s it!? No marriage nothing!? Not even baekhyun being the he always been!? Dude.... I loved it tho<3<3<3<3
ikran12 #9
Chapter 16: Baekhyun is the perfect boyfriend ashejekiamaekwjdndn,they are so cute
Sey-ra
45 streak #10
Chapter 15: This two are so cute.