They say love is about acceptance

And they say love is about sacrifice

They also tell me love is about trust and patience

And they say love is about forgiveness

They told me I'm the luckiest guy who succeed to win her heart, the campus sweetheart, the jewel of their eyes, the men's desire. Their Aphrodite. And I was convinced by their words. I'm convince.

I met her when I transferred to Japan on my first year of high school due to my dad business. I knew little Japanese back then and so I was unable to make many friends. Mark was one of my first friends. He was a captain of soccer team and a Korean just like me so we got close pretty quickly. We met accidentally at canteen when a ball he kicked landed on my head. He apologized after that and that was how I got to know him. He was a goofy person and a 'heart breaker' kind of guy. A cheerful and good friend, so a lot of students adored him. Mark was popular among school. And I'm kinda lucky to be his friend. Soon, we became best friend.

Upon my third week of enrollment, the school sent me a notice to take any extracurricular activities. I didn't have any interest in sports nor any talent. And I was planning to pursue my career in medical field so I thought I'd take extra classes to support my grade. But I changed my mind on last minute because I thought it'd be boring to center all my time and attention around science books. So in the end I chose photography. I always like taking pictures since I was a kid and beautiful pictures soothed my heart.

And unexpectedly, my choice led to meeting her.

One time, our teacher asked her to be our model for a day. Upon hearing her name, my club's friends going feral. I didn't understand anything at that time. I never met her. I just knew the name.

Sana.

I heard a lot of things about her. Some were nice and some were bad. But most of them were bad ones. She was a campus sweetheart, every boy's desire and dream. They were simply crazy about her. Boys would adore her, and girls would despise of her. Some said she changed boyfriends once every 2 weeks. Some said she slept with teachers for good grades. And some said she worked at a night club as a hostess. None had been proven true though.

So that day I met her. She came through our club door in her school uniform, her blonde hair tied into ponytail. The crowd had already going wild upon seeing her. She just smiled at us, bowed and introduced herself before entering her 'zone' and started modelling for us. I was at awed by her skill. It was indeed a usual school uniform you could see in everyday life, but this girl looked extra hot and seductive in it. The boys began barking and howling and the girls would click their tongue. The sound of camera shutter filled the room.

She became our model several times after that. During that moment we talked a couple of times. And soon I became her secret admirer, bewitched by her charm and beauty. Weeks later we became friends and friends turned into best friends and not before long, best friends turned into lover. I was the one who confessed first and she told me she loved me too and I believed her words. She became my exclusive model and the main focus of my camera.

The second year of my high school came fast. Sana was in her third year, busy preparing for her final exams. Usually I would be her personal tutor and we would study together in the library. But that day she told me that she had a family business and couldn't make it.

It was 5 p.m. when most of the students already went home. I packed all my belongings and ready to leave the library. I walked through the school corridor when I noticed a certain sound I'm familiar with. It was Sana's. I trailed the source of the sound which led me in front of a men's bathroom. Hesitantly, I peeked a little and there I saw Sana. With Mark, kissing.

We fought after that. She cried, and I sent a punch to Mark's face and he did the same to mine. Sana cried more. Begging us to stop. But the teacher already found us. Mark and I got one week suspension.

I called her that night asking for a reason why they did that. I wanted to know why she lied to me. And why she cheated on me. But all I could hear was her sobbing sound. She told me she won't do that again and that she loved me. And I believed her. I forgave her. Later after that, Mark and I never spoken again. We became strangers.

Months later I caught her with another guy. She cried, said she loved me and again, I believed her. The loops kept repeating itself months after months. Sometimes it would be a guy from our school, sometimes from other school and sometimes some guys from a university. I wondered what I lacked of that she kept doing it to me. I tried going to gym thinking maybe it was my physical appearance. I also tried to be more romantic, writing poems, giving her flowers, candlelight dinner, thinking that maybe she liked sweet man more. But all were in vain. She never changed.

One time, she told me I was always busy and didn't have much time for her. I was at my final year of medical school at that time. And I admitted that college took almost all of my time and energy. I would go to campus at dawn and came back home after sunset. Almost everyday. My dream is to become an orthopedic surgeon. I wanted to get a proper job and I had to work hard for it. I wanted to marry Sana and give her a proper life.

I tried making time for Sana, even a little. I thought I had neglected her these past few days and I regretted it. I missed her so much. And it already near our 8^th anniversary. We always spent the time together. The two of us would went out at the day and in the evening she would cook dinner for us. We would talk about various things while cuddling. I loved it. I loved to feel her warm surrounding me.

I wanted to surprise her this time and asking her an important question. I knew she was hiding something from me since a long time ago. I wanted to ask her so bad but I kept my patience and trusted her, that someday she would tell me instead.

‘I can wait. I won’t put pressure on her on things she doesn’t want to talk’ was what I thought that time. But I got restless as time went by. I really wanted to know what occupy her mind so much that made her uneasy. I wanted her to share her burden with me. And I wanted to lessen it. I loved her. And I still do.

I was thinking to redeem my mistake to Sana, my lack of time for her. And I wanted to surprise her. So I went to her apartment at night. It was 11:45 p.m., 15 minutes before our anniversary. I brought her favourite Black Forest cake on one hand, a bouquet of red roses on the other. I took out a spare key from my right pocket which she gave me years ago. Turning the knob slowly, I sneaked into her apartment and paced my feet quietly towards her bedroom. I was so excited and was about to open the door when suddenly a series of sound jolted me, halted my step and my brain circuit. I could feel my heart sank, and piercing me at the same time. I knew exactly what the sound was. And my heart was torn into pieces.

Again.

So I left the cake and the flowers in front of her bedroom door. I found a notebook from one of my coat pockets, tore a piece of paper and wrote a note that I didn’t know would stab my heart more than I thought it would be. I left it on top of the cake box. And I walked out, hand in my pockets, head down, trying to hide my tears.

I miss singing her song every night before we went to sleep. And I miss taking manifold pictures of her. And I miss her smiling face the most. I miss her.

But we can’t turn back the time to where happy memories reside.

I wish we could. Then maybe we could have a different ending.

That maybe we needn’t hurt each other like this.

So they say love is about acceptance

And they say love is about sacrifice

They also tell me love is about trust and patience

And they say love is about forgiveness

But they never told me love will feel this hard

That even though I forgive, the memories are still there. Lingering in my mind.

And so does the pain

And Son Chaeyoung is a fool

For I’m still loving her.

.

.

.

The note:

‘ Sana....let’s break up.’