THEN

2011, Beginning of May, Yongkuk University – Rooftop

“How about we pretend that you don’t have to pursue your family’s company, what would you do?”

Silence filled the open space of the rooftop, only the sound of the breeze sang in the small space between them on the couch. A smile threatened to form on Kyungsoo’s lips as he looked down. No one has asked him that since, probably, elementary. He doesn’t even remember the person who asked him, must be a classmate. Her question replayed in his head again. Again. Again. Again. When was the last time he even thought about it? He doesn’t remember anymore.

One. Two. Three.

He rolled his eyes in response to Yerin who started doing a countdown with her fingers, as if time was ticking in this Question and Answer session they are currently practicing. “Oh, come on. There must be something you enjoy doing. . . with a passion.” The woman nudged him on the arm, his cheeks flushed red from the physical contact. “Well, the last time I remember, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I strongly thought about it up until I was around—maybe—thirteen?” His shoulder sank in disappointment as he finished his answer, he cannot believe he actually dreamt of being a veterinarian that long, he could have pursued it for real, if it wasn’t for his fate. “I love animals, I secretly visit animal shelters once in a while. I volunteer during my free time, which isn’t often. I can’t own a pet though; my parents would kill me.” His last statement earned a groan from the other.

“I could see you being a veterinarian, you’re gentle and sweet. Animals would love and easily trust you.”

Disbelief, a good kind. A wave of contentment and surprise swam into his chest as he turned to her. “You think so? You haven’t known me for too long. Don’t judge a book by its cover, they say.” He argued earning a proud chuckle from her. “You do have a cover, a thick cover, in fact. But fear not because in my eyes, your cover is transparent. Or at least, you let it be transparent when you’re with me. Are we like BFF’s now?”  He looked away as the sides of his lips curved up in a big lovesick smile – a smile he has never ever had for another person before.

He leaned more comfortably on the bench and stretched his worn-out arms. “I just don’t feel like I have to pretend when I’m with you, you know—you’re—like—you’re just you. It’s contagious.” He laughed. “And you’re there. You’re always there.”

Silence, yet again, filled the small gap between them but this time, it gave a different kind of air. Gazes locked; two pairs of eyes drowned in each other’s. “I don’t think I’d ever want to be your BFF though.” Kyungsoo’s voice turned careful and deep, his gaze moving down to her lips. “Has anyone ever told you how evil you are? Hypothetically speaking.” Yerin replied yet with the same tone although she tried to sound as cheerful as she could be. Both of them didn’t really know what they were saying, as if they were talking for the sake of talking and not making it too emotional, their eye-contact.

Kyungsoo exhaled heavily, breathing almost shaky. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? H-hypothetically speaking.” His voice was half-sound, half-air. He could feel his chest floating just by uttering a simple compliment. It was then a cue for Yerin to cut the eye-contact. She brushed her fingers through her hair and laughed nervously. Realizing what just happened, Kyungsoo decided to join the nervous laugh fest while pretending to stretch his arms again. There were no more words needed, at least for them, at least at right now.

They knew it. They could see it. They could feel it. They were in love.

“Seriously?”

Kyungsoo watched in distraught as Yerin created a pillow wall in the middle of her bed. Her bed was queen-sized and it could fit them perfect. “What, you think I have any interest in you? Come on, that’s just going to take up more space.” He complained more. Yerin rolled her eyes as she placed the third pillow at the foot of the bed. “I don’t know, do you?” She argued back before finally lying down on her side. Kyungsoo gulped hard while staring at her. . . and the bed. He realized he has never been in her bedroom before. Well, why would he be, right? “It’s your choice, you can squeeze yourself in on Inyoung’s bed, you can curl in a ball in one of the armchairs or the best option, sleep in the middle of my parents.” Yerin suggested with a heavy tone, as if she’s about to drift off to sleep.

With a last groan, Kyungsoo settled down on his side of the bed. Thoughts begin entering his head mindlessly, ironically. Has any guy been on this bed? Has she brought a guy here before? Has she ever had on this bed? Does she think of a certain man while on this bed alone? They were starting to get worse and worse and so he tried to brush them off as much as he can. The lights were off now but there was a lava lamp on one corner that covered the whole room with random bubble-like shapes. It didn’t bother him but he didn’t expect she would have something like this, it’s almost therapeutic. His head was throbbing, he could still feel the alcohol in his system, but knowing that she’s right beside him made everything much better.

On the other side of the bed, Yerin hugged a pillow while staring in the darkness. She pretended to be asleep, keeping silence. She wondered if he has passed out like she would normally expect, especially because he was intoxicated. She so badly wanted to turn and take a look but she was afraid that he was still awake. As much as she hated to admit it, she felt comfortable beside him. As if she was home – well she really is home, but it’s a different kind of home. It’s something she hasn’t felt in a long time.

She realized that she still trusted him. So damn much. She doesn’t know why. That reminded her of the good old days when she was massively in love with him. University days—well, his university days.

“Inyoung mentioned to me that she wanted a pet.” His voice almost made Yerin flinch, she didn’t expect it at all. She turned and pretended that she just woke up, even yawning. Fake-yawning. “Yeah, I told her wait a couple years until she was old enough. I don’t think I have the time to take care of one right now and she obviously wouldn’t be able to.” She explained immediately, assuming that he already knew she said no to the kid. “You think she’s going to be like me?” He then asked. She noticed the hopeful tone in his voice.

A smile threatened to curve on her lips. “Which part of you? The ranting excitedly about animals, enumerating all the breeds of dogs and cats that is known of and saying each one of them have special characteristics and ways to be taken care of part?” Kyungsoo was shocked to get such answer from her. His heart begins pounding heavily, she still remembers every bit of him. The real him, at least. “The—I mean—I guess.” He stammered while rubbing the tip of his nose, tremendously freaking out inside at the moment. Yerin couldn’t help but laugh, realizing that she had just embarrassed him, successfully. Putting CEO Do Kyungsoo aside, she thought he was still the same.

If the situation were different, she thinks she could easily fall back in love with him.

In which, obviously, is impossible now. Not anymore. Too much had been said and done for the past eight years since things took a turn between them. She had accepted that reality and