Chapter 49: Trauma

Good To Me
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Eunhye expected Wonwoo would fall right asleep but he stared at her, intently as he her hair. She tried to close her eyes. She was tired of all the "activities" they did that day and she had coffee, which meant her eyelids were heavy. However, she could feel his eyes on her and she was getting conscious.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What's wrong with how I look at you?" he asked, slightly insulted.

"I feel like an animal in a zoo," she replied. He had been staring at her as if he was studying her face, making her aware of all the blemish and impurities she had. She made a mental note to ask Sunmi tips on how to keep her skin healthier if this was to happen a lot. She closed her eyes because his stare was melting her. "And you're thinking deeply. We should sleep."

Wonwoo chuckled. "Sorry. I'm still trying to make sense of everything. I'm trying to understand you."

Her eyes shot open. "So I'm your research project now?"

"I just don't understand how you've been holding back from me all this time when you could be as intense like that. That was... hmmm." He could not find the exact words to explain it.

Eunhye sighed and she laid back on the pillow. "This again?"

Wonwoo nodded. "Can you explain?"

"Explain what?"

"You never slept around," Wonwoo said, which was something she did not expect. "Dean-hyung said you had something against , but you slept with me that night. Don't tell me it was because of the alcohol. I've seen you drink. Besides, there was no way you could make those combo skills on the game if you were tipsy."

She bit her lip. How could he talk like that as if it was a normal conversation? He really made it sound like a topic for a term paper or something. Her cheeks were burning like crazy she could barely open to speak. "Dean said I had something against ?"

"I don't even wanna know how he came to that conclusion."

She sighed again, louder this time. "Are you sure you wanna talk about this?" He nodded, much to her dismay. "Then I will have to talk about my past relationships."

"Relationships?" Wonwoo's eyes shifted at the plurality. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments and turned back to her, sighing. "Okay. Just don't give me too much details."

"Are you sure?"

"No. Not really." From what he learned about her, she used to date guys older than her. Her relationship with that Professor Douchebag was a proof of that. Knowing that drove him crazy sometimes. Was he going to hear about more?

"Promise me you won't get mad." She pecked him on the lips. She remembered his words and her eyes narrowed. Suddenly, the guilty look on his and Dean's faces made sense to her. "Was that what you and Dean were talking about? When we hung out?"

Wonwoo chuckled his yes. "He warned me not to keep asking you to sleep with me or else you'll break up with me. I almost told him I didn't have to ask you."

She smacked his arm. He pushed back some of her locks and tucked them behind her ear. Eunhye took a good look at him, wondering, not for the first time, how come she felt comfortable talking to him as if she was talking to herself. Most of the time, she avoided these topics.

"I used to see as an obligation," she started, eyeing him cautiously. When he made no sign of protests, she went on. "Something I had to do if I were to date someone for a long time. After what happened to me back in highschool, I was afraid of it. I hated it. I was disgusted by it. College was when I started dating again." She paused, studying him if he was going to react at that. His eyes were unreadable but he nodded at her to go on. "There was this guy who kept asking me to do it so I broke up with him. That happened again with the next person I dated, and then the next, until I realized all of them just wanted to get me in their bed. I was labeled, 'the untouchable' girl because I never slept with any of them."

"Huh."

She chuckled. "I know right? There was this guy... He was not from the same school, so he didn't know that about me. We dated for months and he not once asked me to do it."

"Have I met him?"

She shook her head. "No, this was before Mark."

"Wow. Exactly how many guys did you date?"

"See? I told you not to get mad. You were the one who wanted to talk about this."

He sighed. "Fine. Then what happened?"

"He migrated to a different country," she said. "He said he would be moving to the Philippines so he could pursue scuba diving. We spent his last night in Korea together. He didn't really ask me to do it, but it ended that way."

"That's it. I can't listen to this anymore."

"Ya. You asked for it."

He looked like a whining kid, frustrated at himself for being curious and jealous at the same time. "Can you spare me those details?"

She looked at him innocently. "I didn't give you any details. It was bad, to tell you honestly, but that was all my fault. It was like someone else was doing it, not me. I did not feel like myself and I was disgusted by my own desires."

Wonwoo's eyebrow creased but he did not say anything else.

"And then Mark happened," she fast forwarded. Wonwoo groaned at the mention of that name. He did not know if it was better that he knew who the guy was or not. He figured it did not matter. "I thought I loved him and was scared that if I refused him, he'd dump me like some of those guys I dated previously who left me, knowing they would not get what they actually want from me. So, I thought it was a duty or something. I was also scared because I was bad at it. I don't think I have enough desires because every time I realize it, I would shut down. I told you I couldn't do it on my own, for the same reason."

"What does that make me?" he asked, a hint of irritation in his voice. He pointed to the direction of the door, gesturing for what happened on the other side of it. "Are you telling me you did all of that with me out of just some sort of sense of responsibility? Like you just had to--"

"With you it's different," she said, cutting him short. As she spoke the words, she was finally able to organize her thoughts. She had been asking herself the same question ever since she woke up the next day after sleeping with Wonwoo for the first time. She had been trying to find the answer for a while now, but then it was there all along. She just needed him to guide her to it.

"For the first time in my whole life, I wanted it. It was weird because I just met you and I didn't know if we were ever going to meet again. For once, there were no worries, like what if I was bad at it, what if I was not responsive enough. You didn't demand anything from me. You made me feel beautiful."

Wonwoo held her to him. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "That's because you are beautiful."

"I couldn't get you out of my mind after that," she went on, smiling against his lips. "But it was not the right time because of Mark. I was so mad at myself because I missed the timing and it was not fair that I go after you when I was still broken."

"I was planning on getting to know you," he admitted. "I had this perfect plan to get you to give me your nu

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Comments

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charis26 #1
🥰🥰🥰🥰
qiaoyituan21
#2
Mabasa ko liwat😁hehhehehe
soshi16
#3
Chapter 75: This story is heartbreaking in every way :(
hakimmj #4
Chapter 76: Thank you for coming back!!!
Cant wait for the sequel cause really love the story
Snasod_unnie97 #5
Thank you too for writing this.
We'll be waiting for the next one😊
hakimmj #6
Chapter 75: Aigooo, why so sad!!😭😭 i cant afford like this because they are kind of hurting themselves..but i really hope they can solve ittt
tonnettie
#7
Chapter 74: Oh ghad. The last line.
tonnettie
#8
Chapter 74: Oh ghad. The last line.
hakimmj #9
Chapter 74: Oh myy!! Is it giing to end soonv_v
Not readyy, but really want them to have their own way of happiness and not hurting each other
hakimmj #10
Chapter 73: Really love how they can provide space for each other and have their own time...really hope for more sweet munchy moments♥♥♥