Why does everyone think I'm jealous?
Hm, ha, I'm not jealous.
Yes, absolutely not - she frowned, crossed her arms over her chest, bit her lower lip, turned away from too cute coos from MiChaeng.
*
I'm jealous?
Ha, no, of course not.
Why do Jihyo and Jeongyeon like to tease me so much?
They follow me everywhere like puppies, telling some jokes, trying to cheer up, as they say.
But I already have a wonderful mood, why raise it?
I clicked her tongue displeasedly, stared at the MiChaeng couple, who were flirting at that moment - Chaeyoung fed Mina, carefully looked after (removed food crumbs from her lips).
Something moved nastily in my soul, I my heels and walked to the other end of the room, sitting next to Momo, resting my head on her shoulder.
Not a good decision, from here I saw more clearly everything that the couple was doing.
I pursed her lips, muttered.
But that doesn't mean I'm jealous!
Absolutely not!
*
Argh, yes, I'm not jealous! How many times can you repeat?!
Actually, I'm not a jealous person.
Absolutely not.
No! - my thumbnail is in my mouth, I bite it angrily, looking at the scene in front of me: MiChaeng is hugging on the sofa, their faces are happy, they are whispering about something in secret.
I cannot be here.
I want to leave.
It's getting hard for me to breathe.
I'm suffocating.
Damn, damn, damn.
Not jealous, Nayeon, repeat these words to yourself. Let's repeat - not jealous, absolutely not!
*
My face does not burn, do not invent, I am not angry.
Everything is fine with me, I just lost the mood to watch this movie.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
Early? No, it's just a normal time to sleep.
Good night - I say to the members, avoiding looking at MiChaeng, quickly run past them, go to my room.
Where are these tears from? Why am I crying at all?
Stop it! Enough!
*
I open the diary, turn the page, my eyes notice the entries written up to this day. They always repeated, it's sad to admit that I write the same thing:
- I'm not jealous. Absolutely not!
*
Mina can communicate with anyone.
She doesn't belong to me.
Also, Mina and Chaeyoung don't have the same relationship as we do.
Mina assured me when we started dating two months ago.
Chaeyoung confirmed Mina's words.
I trust them.
I promised to change - not to be jealous and not to be selfish.
Although, why should I promise, I'm not jealous, absolutely not! - tears silently fell on the pillow, the blanket completely covered me from the noise in the living room, I wanted to disappear.

*
- Nayeon, I thought it was time for you to release a solo song. Do you think you can handle the load?
- Yes. Can I listen to a demo of my solo?
- Great, then I give a "start" for your solo album.
- Good.
*
A great opportunity to be busy at work, to be alone, to immerse yourself completely in your solo.
Maybe so, I...
*
Three weeks of non-stop winding from one country to another, endless re-recordings for shows, pre-recording for shows, radio, video clips, commercials, etc. Almost no time to think.
I also rarely see girls, because when I return home, they are not there.
We can only correspond.
Rarely, but I can answer their SMS or write to chats.
I feel sad without them, I miss them, but to be honest, it's good that they don't see me now, or rather that I don't see them.
I've changed.
Not only the hair, my appearance.
Honestly, in recent weeks, only cosmetics and sound sleep have saved me.
I almost stopped eating.
Nerves and headache.
I almost stopped sleeping.
Dreaming nightmares. The main characters of my nightmares:
MiChaeng.
Their laugh at me.
Mina's words: "I'm sorry, unnie, but you were gone for a long time and another person took my heart. You know her. This is Chaeyoung. You will find better than me. I'm sorry." Kiss them. 
I woke up screaming, holding my hand to my chest, wiping the tears in my eyes, trying to catch my breath.
Something heavy does not let go of my heart, I am in agony, it hurts terribly.
But I hide with a smile and fun.
Work, you need to work harder, and forget, forget for a while.
I need to get rid of this heavy feeling, I need to return to my old self again and stop being jealous.
*
- Mina, write to her so that she doesn’t worry, - opening the door to Mina’s room, she asked Jihyo from the threshold.
- Tell her via text that you love only her, - she added as she followed the leader into Jeongyeon’s room.
- You still love her, Mina-chan? -  Momo asked, also entering her friend's room, her eyes saw the same picture as the two girls, Chaeyoung sitting on Mina's bed, combing her hair.
- Of course I do, - Mina answered quietly, not understanding why everyone was looking at her so incredulously.
- As a friend or as a girlfriend? Sana clarified as she stormed into the room, sitting down (intentionally pushing Chaeyoung away) next to Mina. - I'm sorry, Chaeng, but won't you leave us? - Sana asked as softly as possible to leave, she bowed her head and left. - Minari, are you still in love with Nayoung-unni?
- Yes, I love her more than life, but ... but lately she has been avoiding me, and now she has a solo album, she doesn’t write to me at all. I don't understand why, what did I do wrong?
- You... you really don't understand? - The members gasped, shaking their heads, looking at each other. - Nayeon is jealous of you for Chaeyoung. And instead of being around your girlfriend, you...
- ...I spent all my time with Chaeyoung, - Mina herself finished after them, rounding her eyes, understanding the whole situation. - Girls, what should I do now? How can I explain Nayoung?
- Knowing Nayeon-unnie, I think you will have to wait for her to take a step towards you. You need to talk. But while she takes this step, you in turn show her that she is more important to you than Chaeyoung. Show initiative.
- You will have a great chance to show your feelings at a concert, at a fan meeting or just by taking a selfie. Don't worry, you can overcome Nayeon's jealousy and heal her heart.

*
My jealousy has several scenarios, the worst of them is what I see now:
Mina and Chaeyoung hug tightly
Chaeyoung kisses Mina on the cheek
Mina laughs happily
caressing her hair tenderly, kissing her back.
It would be better if I didn’t come here, to the hostel, didn’t open the door with my key, silently, on tiptoe, deciding to make a surprise for my girlfriend, I went inside.
Jihyo said that Mina would be alone, asked me to come in, hinted that Mina had something to tell me.
Jihyo couldn't make such a mean joke.
I could not.
Then...
- Nayeon-unnie? What are you... No, no, you misunderstood! Chaeyoung just said that...Nayeon-chan! Wait! You misunderstood everything! Please let me explain! Unnie!
*
It was stupid to run away.
Silly.
Nayeon, you are stupid.
I had to stop and listen.
Act like an adult, not like a child.
The phone is constantly ringing, there are more than 40 missed messages, there is a knock on the door and Mina's voice.
She is crying.
She begs to be let in.
Don't be stupid, Nayeon, get up and open that damn door and listen to her!
*
- Nayeon-unnie, I...
- Come on, Mina. I think it's time for us to talk frankly.
- I think so too, Nayeon-chan…unnie…
*
How easy it is on my heart, as if all the heaviness that squeezed my chest disappeared, leaving no trace behind.
Mina, my sorceress, my healer, my beloved.
She did not have to explain to me for a long time, because as soon as I heard two sentences:
- Chaeyoung wanted Dahyun to be jealous of her.
- I love only you. 
I was able to breathe freely.
- Sorry, I was too careless, I just didn’t think about your feelings without consulting with you or at least warning you. It's just, it's Chaeyoung, and you know how I feel about her.
Yes, I know, just like me. It’s just that, although I kept saying that I’m not jealous of you, it turned out the opposite. And instead of talking, I began to wind myself up. Mina, I want to confess something - pulling the girl to me, sitting her on my knees, hugging her waist, looking straight into loving, waiting eyes: - I am a terribly jealous person and I am selfish towards you.
- Like me, Nayeon-chan, - Mina admitted, gently pulling Nayoung's chin towards her, kissing her on the lips. - So stop flirting with Momo or Sana in front of me, okay? Otherwise...
- Otherwise ... - I became interested, smiling at Mina, softly touching my cheek with my lips.
- Otherwise, you will find out how possessive I am, - she growled playfully, kissing Nayeon again.