POV Nayeon

What do you think is the advantage of living alone?

That's right, peace and quiet.

I was still with the girls, and they could come to me at any moment. I was glad to see everyone, after all, they are my family.

Hmm , these thoughts I had before that moment when my heart changed ...

 

I tense up every time I see your message:

"Can I come, Nayeon - unnie ?"

After all, after your arrival, I always feel pain.

I don't know when, at what time there was a rhythm failure in my heart, perhaps these feelings existed there for a long time, but being next to you, I fall in love even more.

 

Each of your visits begins, as usual, with the ringing of my door.

Ding ... ding ... ding ...

His trill echoed through my apartment, deafening me, irritating my hearing. On very rare occasions this ringing occurred in broad daylight. Basically, as of now, he rang at night, when all the mine with a Sit sleep, when I was sleeping peacefully in his bed.

I sat up on the bed, at the same time throwing off the covers, glanced at the clock that stood on the nightstand in the middle of the bed.

The hands of the clock showed three in the morning.

I cursed everyone and everything when she arose from bed, wearing slippers hurried to the front door, sharply its opening, lash out at the person in front of me:

- What the hell are you doing here so late, Sana ?!

- Unnie ..., unnie ... - I hear a sob, after which I see swollen red eyes, a nose of the same color, and frayed light red hair (she recently dyed her hair ). Her tearful eyes and wretched tos to livo looked at me.

- Sanaa, what are you ... - I once again began to abuse her before she could finish her sentence, the girl br about silas in my arms, I had time to figure out and catch her, hugged her, otherwise abused for more.

She went limp, fully resting on my body.

I sighed heavily, then closed the door with my heel, led the weak-willed girl into the bedroom.

I was silent when I put her to bed ...

... when I helped to change into my nightwear ...

I was silent, hearing her heart break, her tears completely enslaved my soul.

My dream went away and never came back, it was stolen by a crying girl in my arms.

I thought you were doing well with him. Something went wrong?

It looks like this time the relationship came to a standstill. And it went so smoothly, I sometimes hated for its brightness, it is constantly popped without ceasing, he praised her boyfriend. It was disgusting to listen, but I am doing everything possible to enjoy her happiness.

My eyes returned to the angel sleeping in my arms, sighing again, I gently ran my finger along her cheek, assuming her ugly appearance.

You definitely wouldn't cry if you were with me ...

The thought that came to my head quickly sent a prick of pain to my heart, and I hastily turned away to look at the ceiling. My hand wrapped tighter around her waist, she stirred, came closer andcloser to me. My breathing became ragged when I felt her lips pressed to the meters on her neck.

How much time had passed, I did not know, but I managed to calm my breathing, my heart. I covered s la eyes, thinking:

One more night ... New sleepless night.

**

- Nayeon - unnie ! - I woke up from a loud voice that sounded in my ears. - Unnie , wake up, JiHyo already called, we need to get ready!

- We have nothing today, Sana, we have a day off! - waved away her hand, which was shaking my shoulder.

- JiHyo wrote that he wanted us to go to the Han River, and asked if we agree, and I for our holes e tila that agree.

- I had other plans, Sana - I sat down, turning to face her, squinting from the sunlight that fought through the window.

When I managed to open them completely, I was greeted by her smiling face. I wanted to close my eyes again, only now from her bright smile. My breathing was interrupted for a second, I fell back on my bed, covered my eyes with my hand, trying to forget the momentary impulse.

Sana lay down next to me.

- What are the plans? May I join you? - she giggled, before taking my hand to mo e the third person, put her on the bed, then laid her head on his shoulder.

- There's a pillow for a reason, Sana.

-I'm letting you go back to sleep, so be quiet - getting comfortable, she said with a smile. - I didn't want to get up either.

I opened my eyes and looked down at her. Sana looked so cute right now when she yawned, I wanted to snuggle up to those cheeks. I held back my impulse, waiting for the girl to continuetalking , but she was silent.

- Why will you tell me how yesterday went to the cinema?

I wish I hadn’t asked , ”an afterthought flashed through my head as Sana sat up excitedly, the sleepiness disappeared from her body as she looked at you with two sparkling eyes:

- He said that I would like the film, but he did not say that it would be a horror movie! Unnie , I'm so frightened and familiarize, I almost cried the whole movie, and hid her face on his chest. I was terribly unrealistic, but ... T ak I could hug him whole session - Sana blushed shyly covering porozovevshie u e ki. - He smelled so nice ...

I couldn't concentrate further, my brain was trying to numb the pain in my heart, and my heart was trying to pump blood to the rest of my body. However, I found that all of aual s but when I realized that the pain is still there, and your body is still numb from the look in her eyes.

What went wrong Nayeon , because I thought those four months were the starting point for me to be with her?

I definitely had a chance, because Sana more often than usual clung to me, more often spent time with me.

So why am I suffering now?

What is the cause of my suffering?

The reason, seriously, are you asking the one who brought them together?

Silly Nayeon , why do you need a chance? She likes the guy. And I always liked the guys. With girls she only flirted, but never had serious feelings. No, you yourself know that not. So what chance do you think?

**

I dozed off again, then suddenly woke up.

How much time has passed? How did it happen that I fell asleep again?

I had such a strange dream, or rather the pursuit of some shadows.

On my right side, I heard a soft murmur, turning around to see Sana sleeping on your bed next to you.

Sana, what ... oh yeah!

She was telling me about her date with her new boyfriend, whom she met three months ago and had just started going out recently, but you couldn't hide the pain in your heart, poet about moo you forced yourself to sleep to avoid her storytelling session.
I slowly lie on my side, staring at her in silence. My gaze lingered on her lips, the desire to kiss becomes unbearable. It's tempting, very tempting, but I know I can not, from th e nya no rights.Clenching my hand into a fist, I forced myself to look away and turn away from her.

Perhaps if we kissed, Sana would know that she loved me.

**

He hurt her.

He took advantage of Sana's kindness and innocent heart.

He made her cry.

He doesn't deserve a girl like Sana.

- Listen, I forgot to buy something here, you stay here for now, I'll be right back - I said to the sobbing girl with a red nose that, huddled on the sofa, blew her nose into a paper handkerchief.

- Don't go, Nayeon - unnie - Sana screamed in panic , sitting up on the couch. - Where are you going? You're going to see him, aren't you?

- Yes - answered honestly, clenching her fists in rage, - I will make it so that he shed tears, not you.

- No need, he is not worthy of your fist - weakly grinned at the noble deed from her best friend Sana. - I won't cry anymore - sobbing.

-Liar, you're crying again, - I sighed, returning to the sofa, took her hand and pulled her toward the bedroom. - Come here, baby - crawling in her bed, patted a blank space that was between her and me . A couple of minutes later, she lay down next to her, curled up into a ball. I hugged first by the shoulders, then pr and pulled the waist closer to my body, firmly and securely.

- Let's sleep.

- I can't sleep, unnie.

- I am here, I will be here with you until you fall asleep.

- You won't leave me , Nayeon - unnie ?

- Never, baby - raised her hand, her long hair, kissing chastely on the top of her head.

-Do you promise? Sana asked in a thin voice, completely dissolving into your body.

- I promise, Sana, go to sleep.

Sana in doubts and with fear in her eyes looked up at me, trying to make out my eyes in the semi-darkness.

-Don't worry, Sana, I’m not leaving you anywhere. I promised.

I watched as her eyes were bright, and in the dark they shone so beautiful that I was not able to and does not fall in love s smiling again into it.

Although it was dark, I mo GLA to see himself reflected second in her eyes, but unfortunately, I zna la , that never will not be reflected in her heart the feeling that lived in me.

Sana was a kindred spirit to me, but alas, for Sana I was just a friend.

- Let's sleep.

 

I couldn't sleep. I felt cold and lonely.

The warm body next to me did not warm me.

I didn't feel like I was in the same bed with someone.

No, I was more lonely than ever.

The girl I love with all my heart does not love me back.

Should I keep my secret further or tell everything?
**

I saw the kissing scene.

There is nothing unusual to see the kiss of two lovers.

If only Sana was not the girl in the pair.

She returned again to him.

She was seduced by words of repentance, by flowers and a romantic gesture (he begged to forgive him, kneeling in the lobby of the company).

Heart to keep the defense until the moment when you walked past them, went into the elevator, the elevator door of a wing and the dam broke.

Long-held tears made themselves felt.
Now you can, Nayeon .

You can cry, you can.

You've been too strong for so long, so it's okay now.

Cry, don't be shy, nobody sees.

The elevator opened on the floor, no one was on the floor, I ran to the vocal room, locked myself, turned off the sound of the phone.

I hid from the whole world.

 

I'm so tired, Nayeon .

I need to rest, give time to rebuild my wounded heart.

It'll be all right soon.

Soon, but not now.

 

Not every other day.

Not in a week.

Crying stopped only by the end of the month, when I could breathe normally again.

**

- Where have you been, unnie ? - Sternly, putting her hands on her hips, demanded Sana's answer when I opened the doors to my apartment.

I silently walked around her, went straight to the bedroom, then wrapped her in the toilet. She followed me without losing her tone in her voice:

- Do you know how worried I was? You didn't answer the phone, you didn't answer emails, you ignored me. Why didn't you tell me, unnie ?

- For what? I wanted to be alone, far from the noisy city - I said dispassionately, rinsing myself on the dusty road.

- But you left so abruptly and did not say anything to anyone ...

- Who cares where I'm going - indifferent shrug passed Sana'a, but that Austan a villa on my shoulder, offended pouted:

- I have a difference. You are my best friend!

I grinned sadly, freeing myself from the grip, walked to the sofa, sat down, hugging my knees.

- I'm back.

- You say so as if you could not have returned, unnie .

Silence hung in the air, the atmosphere in the room colder than it had been a minute ago. Then I ave of tyazhno sighed, he rubbed his hands, stretched, looked at the still gloomy Sanou.

- Don't frown, Sana, where will I go without you? You're my best friend.

 

Again, Nayeon , you again ...

Sana started spending time with me again.

She did not leave me a step.

Even when her boyfriend called, she refused him, saying that you want to be with me.

 

I have to protect my heart.

I don't want to suffer anymore.

It is a pity that the heart has completely different thoughts.

It is a pity that the heart can feel.

 

I internally mocked myself, not at all surprised at what I was doing now.

Again, Sana's broken heart.

Cry again.

Again she is with me, in my arms, talking about the break.

 

You tried so hard to avoid her, Nayeon .

You held the defense for your heart.

You were so strong Nayeon , so why ...

Is this the fate that awaits you?

To be in love with a girl and witness all her breakups with guys, without having a chance in relation to her?

Is there no other way?

 

Maybe.
Perhaps only today and only now, at this moment, when her arms embrace my body, clinging to me.
How could I resist her sweet voice:
- I'm cold, Nayeon-unnie. Please let me be with you.
I chuckled softly and pulled the covers over her body before moving into a comfortable position. She immediately snuggled closer and pressed her lips to her neck again. You swallowed hard.
 - I don't want to fall in love again, unnie - she mumbled softly.
- Why not? What's wrong with being in love?
- Because it hurts.
 -But you can't deny that this is the most beautiful thing that happened in your life, right?
- Even if it hurts?
 -Yes, even if it hurts ... it hurts because it used to be so beautiful; it hurts because you put your whole heart in - I moved and looked at her with a smile on her face as she looked at me with those innocent eyes. “It hurts, but when you fall in love again, the pain will soon change, and all that's left is sweetness and delight.
- Why weren't you born a boy, Nayeon-unnie?
I tensed at her statement, but the teasing and beautiful smile on her face made me relax, because it was a joke. But I could not hide the disappointment that flashed in my heart.

 

-You’ll find a decent guy, you just need to wait a bit, Sana.

I only whispered after Sana fell asleep.

These words were spoken not only to Sana, but to herself.

Someday I will heal my heart from pain.

Until then ...

Hello my friend, sleeplessness.