Will you stay with me? (Mina/Sana)

ONESHOT TWICE

My friends and acquaintances warned:

Do not mess with Minatozaki Sana.

She is playful.

She will break your heart.

She will not give you anything in return, except for pain and loneliness.

I did not believe.

How can one say such a thing to someone who has fallen in love without memory?

Yet they know that love is blind.

I was blinded by love for her. I forgave everything and let go, without question and without a plea to stay near me. After all, she knew that I should ask how she would disappear forever.

**

It all started beautifully, vanilla-romantic, until our little touches turned into a fire-breathing fire. We started this fire, uncontrollable and dangerous. The flame only grew when we were lost in the fog of drunken breath, intoxicated by the blurry lines between love and lust.

I always wanted to be with her. Found the reasons.

Maybe in vain? Maybe everything was my deception?

Love is blind. You see everything through the pink glasses.

The veil was sleeping at a time when she, lying in my arms, after hot , kissing my lips, asked:

-Minari, may our relationship be kept secret.

My brain was filled with her lips, and I breathed her breath, so without realizing it, she said:

- Good.

Now thinking about that time, I already realized that my answer was a mistake . That I myself created a problem for myself , falling in love with something that was never mine. Our relationship was a mirage.

Sana was delighted with my consent, kissed again and again I lost myself in her.

And in the morning, when I woke up, cold sheets met me when I hoped that her body would still be there, keeping me warm.

There was still hope that she went into the shower or the kitchen to make coffee.

How wrong I was.

Listening to any sound or rustling, but deathly silence met me.

Here is the only answer to my question:

- Sana, are you here?

The question sounded like an echo in a lonely apartment, wounding my heart with its emptiness.

**

My friends and acquaintances told me, looking at me with pity:

You make a mistake waiting for her to return.

She will be back.

Live your own life.

You don't owe her anything.

I stood up for her. I came up with reasons and explanations.

I believed that Sana would return to me. He will understand his feelings for me. I believed even when I saw her walking with another girl. I believed…

**

A table for two, one coffee cup and zero chance that Sana will come to this cafe. The dark liquid is bitter, it also burns my mouth, like her kisses. I wait, sit and want this table for two not to be so empty without it.

" You are in my thoughts, in my heart, my soul is yours ."

I can not voice these words, so I write on napkins. Ink penetrates the napkin, just like my heart is for you. The first time I thought:

" May I let you go?"

The question died down at that moment when that evening Sana came to my apartment, with a bottle of wine and flowers. Her smile attracted, as did her lips, which said:

-I never loved her. I feel something for you.

My heart at that moment did not accept your words, neither your smile, nor the kiss that she gave. I slammed the door, shouting:

- I forgot you! Go away!

Stupid. Then I cried, sitting at the door, screaming out my heart.

I blamed myself for not letting me go, scrolling through this situation in my head, and searching for other solutions. I even dreamed about it, and usually the dream ended with her words: I love only you, Mina.

I tried to call and write first, but something stopped.

I waited.

Not knowing what, I was just waiting ...

Sana came again, a week later, with the same flowers and a bottle of wine, and I understand that she is my addiction.

I push her away, but Sana reaches for me, pulls me to her body, and I again fall into this illusion when her lips kiss me softly.

-Believe me again, Mina, you're the only one.

How easy it is for Sana to say such words, while I got confused in my feelings.

I did not understand where the truth or the lie.

I just accepted her again.

Sana did not apologize, she never said “sorry” for her sudden departure. For her, the word "commitment" never existed. Sana came and went, took what she wanted, left me empty with my empty needs.

Sana did not hear me when I silently said:

“I need your love, Sana. Only your love.”

But the whole point is that Sana wants something completely different .

That I can not give her or another coming girl.

My love is not enough for her.

**

Soon, I was tired of asking myself:

Where are you going?

Who do you spend time with?

Who do you make happy?

Who is the lucky woman whom you say “love you”?

Why ask when the answer is already clear.

It's just not clear why I'm still waiting for you?

My bed is empty again, just like my life is empty.

Can I let you in my life again?

**

“Stay - I whisper softly when Sana leaves the bed again.”

But Sana, as usual, does not hear my request.

Once again, I realize - Sana does not need this .

I watch her leave, my question is quite simple:

Why are you leading me along this road if you do not want to walk with me?

Why am I following this lonely road, blindly following your shadow?

Why?

I scream it internally while Sana makes other words scream externally.

Everything should end.

I can no longer harm myself.

Enough! - begs my soul. - Please come back, Mina!

Yes, I call myself, but ...

Our relationship must end, in any case, I must again collect all my pieces of empty life and again become myself.

I have to live for myself .

I have to stop living for you, Sana .

But Sana returns the next evening, destroying my entire idyll in a few seconds ... kisses me ... runs her hands over my skin ... penetrates deep into my heart with gentle, fake words ...

But Sana’s destroys my idyll in just a few seconds, when the next morning she silently collects her things and leaves (without explanation) before the sun rises from the horizon.

**

I do not ask.

I do not ask.

I let go, thinking that our forest fire was extinguished. She will never return.

My life is back to square one.

I spend more with friends when they pull me out of the house.

I try to smile more often and not think ...

But…

My thoughts come back the day Sana left ...

... when Sana finally left me ...

 

- I'm leaving, - Sana says, so casually, almost rudely. Her eyes sparkle.

- Go if you want - my words come out raw, almost on the verge of despair. - I can't stop you.

Stay - I beg you inside.

...

Sana says nothing, collecting her things ...

...

Please stay.

...

Sana is almost at the door, her hand on the handle, she does not turn around, but does not make an attempt to leave my apartment. I almost utter a request aloud, but the words do not go out.

...

Please stay.

Sana, without saying a word, opens the door, straightens her hair, then abruptly turns to me ...

Did she hear me? - thought flashed with hope .

 

But…

... Sana just winked at me, smiled wryly, flashed a smile in her eyes and left.

Her steps, that’s what I hear when the first dam of tears erupts from the throat.

And

... I hear my question:

“Will you stay with me, Sana?”

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Comments

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Wivern #1
Chapter 137: NY is driving, please send help. 😁
alexaaika
#2
Chapter 138: lol nay XD
Mustafina
1124 streak #3
Chapter 1: At least they know it's out of love
winrinarist #4
Chapter 115: aww
Wivern #5
Chapter 124: Confession time!
Wivern #6
Chapter 118: 😭
saidadubchaengg #7
saida please
mNa2zk
#8
Chapter 114: clear communication is important..
jeybeee
1521 streak #9
Chapter 114: Jealous Nabong and reassuring Minari. That's kinda cute
jeybeee
1521 streak #10
Chapter 113: She's in love your honooor