Knock on my door and my heart will open for you

I never thought that holding someone’s hand is so natural. The girl I hold in my hand always knows when she is needed. She always comes or looks in my direction, giving all the attention, doing everything so that I can calm down, smile. She is my support, that wall behind which I can hide for a short while to pull myself together.

Ever since the internship , I wanted to be closer to her, to be under reliable protection. She attracted me with her charisma , I just felt easy next to her. I knew that this girl, if that happens and we will become a team, protect me, cheer me up, convince me that I am worthy, to be with her on the same stage.

Producer-nim gave such a chance, he decided to create a group of 6 people. New women's group. He gave a chance to everyone who had an internship at his agency. I stayed there only a year, less than the other girls, but decided to try my hand too. It was hard. Absolutely everything crushed me, I saw how the others were looking at me, I heard their thoughts: “Why is she?”

Many times I tried to leave, leave the project, maybe I would have done it if on one of the missions during the show, when I was rehearsing a dance performance, and I didn’t succeed, I just felt like I was pulling my team down to me she wouldn’t fit. She saw me crying aside, walked over, sat down beside her, hugged her shoulders, looked into my eyes.

   - You can cry on my shoulder, you can scream, swear, even hit my chest a couple of times.” The only thing you can't do is give up. You joined this agency for a reason, right? What did you want to achieve? So there’s a chance for you, a great chance, and just try to miss it. I will never forgive you for this. Mina, I really want to debut with you.

     Mina I really want to debut with you.

These words held me until the end of the show, until the moment when the results were announced. I was happy when she was first chosen as a member of TWICE. I was glad when I heard how my two Japanese girlfriends also joined her. When I realized that I was in the same team with them, my heart was beating faster and the tears contained could find their way. Together with tears, the tension that I felt during the whole show went away. Finally, I became free, I can now stand on the same stage as her.

“We did it, Mina.” Now one thing remains - open your heart to the fans that have been waiting for you for so long. We will try to make them happy.

Honestly, when I heard the words “open your heart ”, I was afraid that she found out about my secret. But when I heard the “fans”, I calmed down, although my red cheeks had not passed for a long time.

Only Momo and Sana, my bosom friends, knew about my secret. And I knew that they would never say Nayeon.

My new life began, based on the realization of my dreams into reality. And on the first day of our new life, we learn that the leader will be JiHyo, a trainee with 10 years of experience. We were surprised, because we thought that Nayeon would become the leader as she is the oldest among us.

“Hahaha, hooray, I'm not a leader,” Nayeon hopped in place, dancing a victory dance in front of us all. - What's wrong? I believe that we need a leader like mommy. JiHyo is great for this role.

“But Nayeon-ni, ” Jihyo began, but Jeongyeon interrupted her, hugging her shoulders, pushing her forward, and loudly proclaiming:

“You know that this is the best solution for us, JiHyo.” Or do you want us to turn into her babies?

“But you are babies anyway,” the girl interjected, laughing when Jeongyeon nearly twitched. “I am the eldest among you, and you all must obey me.” And if I say, do an ego for me, you Jeongyeon do.

- See? JiHyo, help me out - the girl turned pale, dodging the kiss of Nabongs.

“Hahaha,” JiHyo laughed gaily, watching the race, realizing that her friends were doing everything to defuse the situation. And give time to come to terms with the idea that she will become a leader.

In less than a couple of months, I realized that the producer did the right thing when I appointed JiHyo as the leader. Her, not Nayeon-unnie.

We all took our roles in the group. Nayeon's role was to become a solid wall for members. For this, various methods followed - kisses, hugs , all the time talking how she loves them, quietly supporting them in difficult times. Accept all negative comments. To be near when you need her.

When that rumor passed that I was dating a guy, if it weren’t for my members, I don’t think I could handle it. We sat in the hostel, I was surrounded by them, all the girls encouraged me, said that we could do it, I nodded, agreed, but I needed to hear comforting words from Nayeon that she was silent.

- We need to make a video appeal to the fans.

- Nayeon-ni , what are you talking about? They will hound her! - didn’t agree.

- We will be there, not a single comment will pass by our keen eyes. He will not affect our Mina. If they do appear, we will take it to another topic and make sure that they forget about the rumor. We know how to do it.

“Unnie is right.” It is necessary to deal with the problem, and not to leave it - DaHyun has taken its side.

“Then who will go?” JiHyo asked.

“Me, Momo, Sana, and Jeongyeon.”

As soon as Nayeon-ni took the floor, I knew I would agree with everything that she would not advise. Video appeal? Well, then it will be so.

Her advice turned out to be true and it’s good that we held it right away, otherwise I’m afraid if we delayed it would be even worse. We were able to crank the operation so that the fans at the end laughed with us, and the next day the search engine was only about our video appeal.

The first time my heart failed, lost control, it was the day when Nayeon made a kiss with me chips. We were shot at the very moment when I took the chips in my mouth and was going to eat it , when unnie appeared in front of me and reached for him. Our lips almost touched, I had to smile, trying to hide a happy smile, but, alas, the smile remained in place, but my heart was gone.

The second time my heart accelerated when I heard an ego from Nayeon. Honestly, she trained for a long time at us, improving, began to show to fans. I really like, like Sana and Momo, the three of us are absolutely delighted.

One special ego, Nayeon, has been reserved for me. She always uses it when she wants to hear that I love her more than other members. My heart is beating so loudly at this moment that it seems to me that you can hear it even without coming to me. If Nayeon just told me this, and did not hug her waist, did not fall for me, it would be easier. But her voice sounded so close, her full lips almost touched my cheek, I inhaled her perfume. I felt like losing myself.

- Nayeon-ni , but what about me? - I was saved by the offended voice of Momo or the flirty voice of Sana.

At such moments, they were always nearby. They helped to turn Nayeon's attention to themselves. They helped me make a life-giving air, recover, take control of my heart.

Self-control, I need it like air, that's what I understood while we were preparing for the next comeback . The song we prepared created situations where my self-control cracked at the seams. Choreography is the reason. A dance again, where our eyes can meet, where she can touch me, where she smiles at me so that I melt.

This time we knock on the door, trying to reach the heart. Knock Knock, great song for my self control, ha, I'm funny. It tempered my heart for a long time, but as soon as a new song came out, words that are so similar to my personal situation, hmm , very funny.

   During the rehearsal, there were times when we bumped into each other, almost falling down. We needed to create a window in the form of a door, the girl inside it, knocked and the shutters opened, letting love in the heart. But what if love has been living there for a long time? Should I tell someone you like about her? Or hide? What to do?

   We stayed in the rehearsal room, studying every movement to perfection, so that our every step was synchronous. It was very difficult, but we were driven by the fact that we will soon meet with the fans.

   There were three days left until our comeback, the girls and I were relaxing in the hall, sharing our feelings. We always do this, so it seems to us that we are getting even closer to each other. We know that at any moment we can trust each other. At such moments, I wanted to speak, but I restrained myself. Again those emotions arose, and again, it seemed that I almost did not move in the dance. I'm late.

   “I'm terribly tired, annoyed by myself,” Nayeon muttered, resting her head on Momo’s lap. She closed her eyes, sighed heavily, without opening them, continued - but you know, I’m ready to continue to get so tired, because I know that this is another step towards my reality. This fatigue is nothing compared to knowing that you will never go on stage. You will not open to people, you will not tell them your story, you will not give a dance, you will not sing a song that will melt your heart. Do not share your happiness with them. We are still too young, we lack a lot, but we can create our personal story. We will become the new generation of the women's group, on which they will be equal. Therefore, fatigue, discontent, complaints, all this is nothing. We all try our best. And we will perform on stage with a perfect dance, with a perfect song and with full dedication. I have already debuted with you girls, and I do not intend to stumble on the achieved goal.

   And again, as at that time, Nayeon-ni found the necessary words of support, said what we should have heard. We were again breathtaking, lightness was felt in our dance, we even smiled at each other a couple of times. Sometimes Nayeon showed that she was a real elder unnie, in hopeless moments gave us a ray of hope.

   Week, here's how long our promotion lasts. We would like to stay with the fans longer, but all our time is scheduled in seconds. The schedule is very busy. Immediately after the promotion, we go to a photo shoot in Los Angeles , after to Japan to the festival, we linger there to participate in various shows and thank the fans. Commercials, various events, live concerts, and you need to get ready for the comeback again.

   This week we wanted to do everything so that our Korean fans would remember us for a long time while we were in other countries. Of course, we will try to communicate with them via the Internet, but we cannot promise that often.

We made a lot of happy moments, I think many will be happy with my chemistry with Chaeyoung, Momo, Sana, Jeongyeon and Nabongs. Especially with unnie. Honestly, secretly from the rest of the girls, I watch a video of the fans of the MiNayeon pair. There are those that I really like, and I even copy them to my personal files with a password.

   Today, when everyone went to bed, I quietly YouTube and began to watch if a video appeared with our couple. How happy I was when I discovered a couple of videos. Without losing a minute, she downloaded and began to watch, recalling those moments that Nayeon-no had given me . At the end of the video, I was surprised, as I don’t remember, when Nayeon-no had time to say these words:

  “I have been knocking on some doors for a long time, but they are still closed to me.” And I'm afraid that no matter how I knock, they won’t open.

  “Nayeon, do you already have someone you like?”

“I like ... once, ” she laughed, hesitating for a couple of seconds.

  But I knew that now she was lying, Nayeon someone like it, definitely. But who is this lucky one? In our last talk about guys, unnie said nothing new. We all tell each other, we have no secrets, but here I find out that he doesn’t finish. And I'm interested in the reason. Maybe ask? But where to get the courage and directly ask her?!

- Minari? Mina, are you sleeping? - whispered the voice of Nayeon-unnie. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I heard her voice. I quickly turned off the phone, opened and looked at her. She stood opposite me in her pajamas, holding a teddy bunny in her arms, an uncertain smile on her face. “I need to tell you something, let's go out into the hall.”

“Will you wait until tomorrow?” - Nayeon negatively shook her head, took the first step out of the room.

I could only follow her. We went into the living room, sat on the sofa, I began to wait for what Unnie wants to tell me. Seconds, minutes, but instead of words, I heard only silence.

- Nayeon-ni ? - urged her friend, frankly, really wanted to sleep. “Maybe postpone your conversation until tomorrow?”

- Not today. I finally decided to tell you, simply, it turns out to be so difficult. I don’t know where to start. Although, Jeongyeon advised to say directly to the forehead, and JiHyo advised to start from afar.

“What are you talking about, unnie?” - My curiosity was stronger than the heartbeat, which beat the rhythm, as soon as we were alone in the room.

“Do you know what I like?” - nervously her fingers, the girl quietly asked, looking at me from under her forehead. I just nodded in response, expecting a continuation. My heartbeat again took my breath away when I heard the next confession. “I like you for a long time, Mina.” From the first acquaintance. I know that before going to bed, you watch our joint video, and today you reviewed it.

“I don’t understand, Nayeon-ni ...”

“Wait, let me tell you, while there is courage,” Nayeon hastened to stop my question, holding my hand in her hand.

I saw how nervous she was, how her voice trembled, and she kept looking away from me all the time. decided to just wait for her to finish, so I shut up. For the following words, only my breath, my heart, was responsible.

- Have you seen our last video interview? Did you hear my answer that there is someone to whom I can’t reach? Only JiHyo and Jeongyeon know about him. And I want to share his name with you.

From that moment on, I wanted to drown my hearing, I did not want to hear the name of the one who stole Nayeon from me. My heart was ready to cry, but then ...

- Since our first meeting, my heart is trying to break through to your heart. My soul prays for union with your soul. If I knock now, will you open me?

7 girls, who were quietly hiding behind the slightly ajar doors of their rooms, also held their breath, waiting for an answer from Mina. They almost cried out with happiness, didn’t open the doors and didn’t rush to hug them when such a quiet “Yes” sounded in silence.