Music Hyperlink: To J, by Lee Sun Hee.

Yena jolted up from her bed, a sheen of cold sweat coating her skin. Her hair was plastered to her face, her clothes sticking to her body. Her dream had been too vivid; she could still feel Juri’s fingers between hers, Juri’s lips lingering on her hips. She buried her face in her hands and took in a shuddering breath.

God, it felt so real.

Staggering into her shower, she scrubbed and scrubbed at herself, as if the action would somehow erase the memory of Juri’s touch from her skin. If she had to scrub until her skin was red and raw, then so be it. She stuck her head under the showerhead, letting the running water wash away the thought of Juri from her mind. Yena could hear her phone ringing outside, and blocked her ears with her hands. She didn’t want to deal with anyone today, but the phone just couldn’t stop ringing. How frustrating, she grumbled to herself, and angrily turned off the tap.

Stepping out in a tank top and boxer shorts, she dragged herself to her phone. Ten missed calls from Chaewon. Yena marvelled at her impeccable timing. Collapsing back onto her bed, her hair still damp, she called her friend’s number and waited. “Yo.”

“Yena, save me. It’s, like, the third week of this term and I’m already drowning in assignments.” Chaewon sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Yena fought to suppress her chuckle - she shouldn’t be laughing at a friend who’s obviously struggling to survive, but it was just too funny. She could already picture Chaewon’s pout.

“Don’t laugh!” Chaewon whined. “Please come keep me company, maybe you can be my muse for today.”

A muse? If there was anyone who could inspire people, it was no doubt her, Choi Yena, master of the arts. “Of course,” Yena agreed, preening. “Where are you? I’ll be right there.”

#

Yena found Chaewon in her university’s library, face planted in her notebook. She couldn’t be sleeping, could she? Yena approached her friend warily, extending a hand out to poke her back to alertness. “Chae-”

Chaewon’s head shot up, her pink hair flying everywhere. “I’m awake!” she shouted, then cringed when the other library patrons gave her dirty looks. Her eyes met Yena’s bemused ones, and she leapt up to grab Yena in a bone-crushing hug. “Oh, thank goodness you’re here. Please, save me from this hell.”

“What are you even doing?” Yena leaned forward, trying to get a peek at Chaewon’s notebook. It was filled with squiggles - what Yena recognised was Chaewon’s writing when she was especially uninspired, just random words mushed together to form incoherent sentences - and a bunch of doodles in the margins of the pages. “Is that homework?”

Chaewon groaned. Shoving Yena into a chair, Chaewon plopped herself next to Yena and jabbed an accusing finger at the book. “Read my lyrics and tell me whether they’re good. Honestly.”

Peering at the scribbles in black pen, Yena could make out a couple of lines, something about desperate longing for either her hometown or her missing cat - honestly, she just couldn’t tell. Then there was a line that was just the words ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ repeated over and over. Yena surmised that was when the metaphorical well in Chaewon’s brain had finally run dry.

“It’s, you know,” Yena gestured vaguely, hoping not to crush Chaewon’s dreams too much. “Interesting?”

Chaewon slumped in her chair and slapped a book over her face. “Oh no, I’m doomed!”

“Look.” Yena patted Chaewon’s hand encouragingly. “Let’s go out for a walk, maybe you’ll get some inspiration from seeing the world, or whatever the poets of old always said. Even better, let’s get food.”

Chaewon narrowed her eyes at her. “You’re just saying that because you want breakfast.”

“Yes.” Yena placed her chin on the table and gave Chaewon her best puppy-eyed look. “Please, please, Chaewon, please.”

Chaewon huffed. Just as she was about to reject Yena’s proposal, because Chaewon actually needed to get this done by this afternoon, her stomach growled, right on cue. Yena’s grin grew.

“Fine,” Chaewon said, relenting. “Fine.”

It was a short walk to the cafe that Yena and Chaewon frequented ever since their high school days. The cafe looked exactly the same as it did all those years before - worm-worn tables of mahogany and pine, chairs that creaked and scraped noisily against the wooden floor, endearing hand-crafted mugs that had been decorated by the staff. Even the giant clock, designed to look like an oversized pocket-watch, that hung above the wall still counted every second five minutes too fast. Closing her eyes, Yena breathed in the fragrance of coffee and eggs and honey toast. Her stomach rumbled pleasantly.

They sat down at a two-seater table near the large display window of the cafe where the sun was filtering in through half-drawn blinds. Yena immediately dove towards the singular menu on the table, plucking it from its holder before Chaewon could. Chaewon rolled her eyes; even though Yena was a whole year older than her, she still really acted like a child sometimes.

“Chaewon, I want the vanilla honey toast with ice-cream, plus an iced mocha.” Yena grinned at her. “Thanks.”

“Why do I have to pay for your breakfast? You’re the one working and earning money,” Chaewon argued.

“Because I’ll help you write your lyrics later?”

Chaewon immediately got to her feet with her wallet in her hand. “No take-backs!” She pointed a warning finger at Yena before heading off to the counter to place their orders.

As she waited for Chaewon, Yena gazed out the window at the passers-by. Most of them were university students, some rushing to class with coffees in their hands, others strolling leisurely by, chatting with friends or staring down at their phones. In another lifetime she would have been one of them, just another face in the crowd, just another student at Enozi University.

“Um, excuse me,” a shy voice brought her out of her daydream. “Are you Choi Yena, by any chance?”

Yena glanced up with a professional smile already arranged on her face. “Yes, I am!”

The girl who had called her name gasped and covered her gaping mouth with her hands. “That’s amazing! I’m such a big fan, I watch your show every week. Can I take a photo with you? Or get your autograph?”

“Well.” Yena pursed her lips. “I’m not wearing any make-up today, so… I’ll take the second option.”

“Yes!” The girl pulled out a slip of paper and a pen from her pocket (ever prepared, Yena thought, amused) and handed it over. She squirmed in place as Yena scrawled her signature down and handed it back to her with a brilliant smile. “Thank you!”

“No, thank you,” Yena replied as she waved goodbye to the stranger.

“Gross, what’s with that face?” Chaewon groused, walking back with a pager.

“It’s called a smile, Chaewon, you should try it someday.”

“That’s not a smile. That face screams ‘Alright, Karen, I’ll get the manager for you’ vibes.” Chaewon slapped the pager onto their table and slid herself down in her seat. “It’s that classic customer service look.”

Yena shrugged. “When you’re a celebrity, it kind of comes really naturally.”

“Yeah?” Chaewon pulled a face. “ to be a celebrity, then.”

While waiting for their food to arrive, Yena started to work on Chaewon’s homework. She tried her very best (really, she did) to salvage whatever there was in the notebook, but it was impossible to do so. What was she supposed to do with this messy handwriting that was nearly illegible? Sighing, she started to discuss lyrics with Chaewon, noting them down in neat print. As time continued to pass, Yena realised how difficult it was to write, to come up with ideas from scratch - especially on an empty stomach. Even the words they started to write down were all food-themed, to Chaewon’s and Yena’s dismay.

So when the pager buzzed and Chaewon dashed off to pick up their orders, Yena heaved a sigh of relief and massaged her temples. “Why is this so hard,” Yena mumbled as she played with a pen in her hand. “Inspiration, please come…”

“Bye, Juri!” A distant voice called.

“Juri?” Yena dropped her pen on the table at the name. “Juri’s here?” She quickly stood up and looked around. Her keen eyes spotted waves of brown hair flouncing out of the cafe.

Juri?

She would have nearly ran out of the cafe in pursuit of the mysterious person with hair the colour of roasted chestnuts if not for Chaewon plonking her tray of food down on their table. “Dude, what’s up? Saw someone you know?”

Yena bit the inside of and shook her head. “No, just… I thought- I thought I heard Juri’s name.”

Chaewon’s expression hardened. She gripped Yena’s shoulders and shook her firmly. “Get her out of your head, Choi Yena. It’s not an uncommon name. Besides, she left a year ago, there’s no reason why she would be here.” She shoved Yena back into her seat and jabbed a finger at the toast in front of Yena. “Eat, and don’t think about her any more.”

Picking up her fork, Yena poked and prodded at the thick toast oozing with honey, topped with whipped cream. Just minutes ago she was so excited to dig into her meal, but after hearing that name, her appetite was completely gone. She only ate because Chaewon was glaring at her. The honey soured in , whipped cream dissolving into nothingness. 

Yena put down her fork, unable to take another bite. “Can I have your notebook for a while?”

Chaewon gazed at her, concern written all over her face. “Sure.”

Yena closed her eyes, the notebook in her hand. She took a shaky breath and, opening her eyes, placed pen to paper. She let her heart pump her emotions through her bloodstream, into the pen between her fingers, onto blank paper. The words she scribbled down in her hazy mind were words that she could never get out, feelings she could never express before others. As she wrote her tears dripped down onto the notebook. Ink bloomed where tears fell. 

And when she was done, pages upon pages filled with things that she had always wanted to say, Yena put the book down and leaned back in her chair. Chaewon stared at her, an unreadable expression in her eyes. Yena gave her a sad smile and handed her the notebook.

“I think you’ll get really high grades with this,” Yena joked. As Chaewon continued to gaze quietly at her, Yena leaned over and patted her head. “Don’t worry. I feel much better now. Much… lighter, somehow. Like a weight has been lifted off me.”

“That’s good to hear,” Chaewon said, sighing in relief. “Now, eat your breakfast, or else you’re just wasting my money.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Yena took another bite of her toast, letting the taste of honey and whipped cream and toasted bread linger on her tongue. Sweet, she thought. Sweet, light, fluffy. The mocha was nice too, rich yet refreshing, a new burst of flavour in her life. It made her think of her nights spent with Yuri as they chatted over music. If Yuri hadn’t been there, hadn’t brought all these negative emotions in Yena back to the surface, would Yena be brooding forever? It was a possibility, certainly.

Yena took another sip of her drink and chuckled. To be indebted to a girl she might never meet… It was strange indeed, but Yena wouldn’t have it any other way.