Wendy felt her girlfriend’s grip tighten around her arm. 

They both were crumped on one side of the big sofa inside the waiting room. The air smelled like the strong pine scent that oddly reminded Wendy to their apartment floor’s disinfectant. She concluded that the most logical reason would be that they used the same kind.

From her peripheral vision, Wendy noticed that her girlfriend’s head was turning left and right, scanning the whole room as if a monster could jumped out of nowhere.

Or in this case, the dentist, but well, same difference.

“It’ll be alright, Hyunnie,” Wendy said gently. The younger stifled down the chuckle that almost came out from . She shouldn’t laugh, not when she would like Irene to know that she took her girlfriend’s fear seriously. “They’ll give you sedative, or of the sort. You won’t feel any pain.”

“You don’t know that,” Irene mumbled defensively. “You’re not a dentist.”

“I’m not, unfortunately. Do you want me to be? I can always go back to college and try. Will you wait for me like for eight years to pull off your wisdom tooth?” She teased, hoping that it would take Irene’s mind off her terrifying thoughts.

“Maybe that’s it. I can just not have my teeth pulled today,” the older exclaimed. She was now fully convinced that it would be the best option. “Waiting for eight years is a terrific plan.”

“But we made an appointment already. And we’re here. The receptionist knows that we’re here,” Wendy tried to reason. Who could’ve known that her joke would backfire like this?

“We can always fake something. I can say that I have a stomach cramp,” Irene’s mind grinding in full capacity trying to come up with a plan.

“Hyunnie,” Wendy put on her best puppy eyes look, “but your toothache. I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“It’s manageable,” the other dismissed quickly, “Now that I think about it, it doesn’t hurt that much,” Irene said lightly, staring at Wendy to convince the younger.

“Fine,” Wendy said, noticing the bright look her girlfriend shoot her before she continued, “then we can’t make out for the next eight years.”

Irene face instantly fell. “Why?” She asked in a tone as if the remark was offending.

“Your tooth hurt your jaw, remember? How can we make out if you can’t even open your mouth properly?”

Irene looked like she was horrified. Her eyebrows furrowed deeply, lips parted but no retort came out from them. She was deeply troubled, like there was an inner battle going around in her head. After a quick while, she sighed and murmured dejectedly, “but I don’t want that. I want to make out with you.”

Wendy smiled at the words of her girlfriend. “I want to make out with you too.” She took the other girl’s hand, drawing small circles with her thumb. “I promise that I’ll hold your hand all the time while you’re in there”

Irene let out a big breath again. She leaned her head on Wendy’s shoulder, giving up whatever plan she had on an escape. “Okay. You’re so lucky that you’re cute making me want to kiss you all the time.”

Wendy laughed, their hand still holding each other’s. “Oh, you have no idea.”

[•••••]

Wendy would like to think that the medical procedure went relatively well.

There was no screaming. Irene was instead frozen on the chair losing her ability to speak that she could only respond with blinks - Wendy and the dentist later learnt that one blink meant yes, two meant no, while a non-blinking widening eyes and drastic raising eyebrows was something remotely close to a swear word.

There was no tear as well. After the anaesthesia worked through her tiny body, her girlfriend was immediately knocked out.

Her dentist was a woman named Kim Yewon. When they entered her office, Wendy had her doubt because the woman looked so young, too young to have certifications that allowed her to drill into Irene’s mouth. However Doctor Kim erased whatever doubt Wendy had, doing her job splendidly (according to the standard of a girl that knew nothing about the dental operation - but hey, she managed to get the problematic tooth out of Irene so that must’ve qualified as a job well done.) 

When Irene slowly regained her consciousness back, the tiny woman stayed quiet for quite a while. Wendy was still holding her hand, occasionally squeezing it while the younger listened to Doctor Kim orders of what to do and not do during the recovery time.

“You can stay here until she is not as drowsy anymore,” Doctor Kim kindly offer. “There’s still some time until my next appointment.”

When the nice doctor left the room to the both of them, Wendy turned her attention to her girlfriend. “Hey there champ,” she tugged a small fringe of the older’s, “how are you feeling?” After realising that older only stared at her and not likely to reply anytime soon, Wendy continued, “You did great the whole time. I’m very proud of you.”

Irene was still staring, eyes fixed on Wendy until she finally uttered her first words after the operation, “I know you.”

Wendy raised her eyebrows, smiling widely. So this was what they meant by the aftereffect of the anaesthesia. “Um, yeah, you do. You’re extremely well at it too, actually.”

“…Why?”

“Well… for starters, it’s probably because I’m your girlfriend.”

Irene blinked, registering the information she just received. She turned her head, seemed to realised their interlacing hands. “I have a girlfriend,” she said giddily, accompanied by small innocent laughter. “Am I a good girlfriend?”

Wendy squeezed her hand. “You’re an excellent one.”

After a few more minutes (filled by Irene’s small giggles), they finally made their way back to their car. It was when they reach the parking space in the basement when Irene started her little monologue.

“I like Seungwan,” she began, with her arm looping around the shoulder that belonged to the topic of her speech. “Seungwan is so nice, and warm, and gentle. Did I mention nice?”

Wendy chuckled, trying to keep the balance of the girl that’s reciting praises about her.

“She also has adorable cheeks. They’re so fluffy, like her. She’s so fluffy. I like Seungwan very much.”

They finally reach their car. Wendy helped Irene sit in the vehicle, buckling her seatbelt, and adjusting the passenger seat so that her girlfriend can lean back more comfortably.

When Wendy finally settled on the driver seats and was starting the car when Irene suddenly grasped her arm. “Wait. You’re my Seungwan.”

She turned her head to her girlfriend, who starred at her like it was she just found a brand new discovery. "Yes, I am." How could she not love this woman more and more everyday?

They were finally on the road. Wendy got one hand on the wheel and the other one holding Irene's hand. She was thinking about the food stock they had back home, some part regretting not doing the grocery shopping before Irene's appointment to the dentist. They reached the red light, Wendy turned to Irene to check up on the latter only to find the girl was looking at her eyes shimmering and lips pursing to stop breaking down in tears.

“Seungwan, will you hate me?” Irene asked in shivering voice.

A surge of panic rushed through Wendy's body. “What?! Of course not. Why would I even do that?”

“There’s something very wrong with me,” Irene said again. 

Wendy eyes was already busy scanning her girlfriend from head to toe, mind filled with cursed words. She was so ready to make a U-Turn to return to the dentist office before Irene continued. “I lost my tongue," She murmured in grieve, "I don't think I can make out with you anymore.”

Her what?

Wendy instantly cupped her girlfriend's cheek, checking inside (she knew it was silly for her to, but she was not thinking straight either) and sighed in relief. “You didn’t, Hyunnie. Your tongue is fine.”

“But I can’t feel it, my tongue,” Irene whined, clearly not convince by Wendy's quick check-up.

Wendy smiled, caressing the other girl's face. “It’s the sedative,” she explained gently, so that Irene would stop worrying, "It’s okay. You will feel them soon.”

Thank heavens that Irene had calmed down when the light turned green. After that small breakdown (she couldn't afford to laugh then, not when her mind was busy buzzing), Wendy was even more convinced that she couldn't leave Irene in the car alone while she bought all the groceries. With only limited food options that Irene could eat during the recovery period, she decided to call Seulgi, whose place was nearby where they were now.

“Hey Wen-wen! What's up?” Seulgi soon picked up. Her happy voice filled the car since Wendy was using the Bluetooth option to connect the call with their car's audio. 

“Seul, are you free?” Wendy cut the chase, going straight to the matter of the problem.

“I have a dinner plan at seven, but I’m free now.”

Wendy let out a big breath out of relief.  Okay, so Seulgi could wait with Irene in the car while she dashed to the market and took huge amount of foods that could feed the entire apartment building. “Thank goodness. I need your help, Seul. Can I pick you up at your place around fifteen minutes from now? I'll drop you back afterward, too.”

“Fifteen? Wait, let me get ready.”

“Who is she?” Irene asked out of her drowsiness, eyes back staring at Wendy.

“She’s Seulgi, our best friend.”

“Why are you calling her?” Irene asked, a question that might be absurd if she was completely awake, but she was not.

“Is that Joohyun unnie?” 

“I need her help. The doctor told me a list of food you should eat and I need Seulgi to look after—“ Wendy was explaining the situation to her fuzzy girlfriend, but her explanation was cut with the only logical reason Irene could think of.

“You’re cheating on me.” The older said matter-of-factly.

“What?! No, I’m not!”

“Is it because I can’t make out with you anymore?” Irene asked with her voice's breaking. Yes, they were back to square one again with teary Irene.

“Umm… Seungwan, what’s going on?” Seulgi asked her question too, trying to understand the situation she was suddenly stuck in.

It was probably easier to explain the situation to the completely sober person, so Wendy tried Seulgi first, “She just got her wisdom tooth remove, Seul. She’s all—“

“Is this girl a better kisser than I am?” Irene shot her question again (It was a miracle that Wendy didn't crash the car right there).

Seulgi decided then it was better for her not to be part of the conversation anymore. “Umm, right. I’ll go get ready. See you later, guys.” 

[•••••]

After the whole fiasco on their journey back home - picking up Seulgi, going to the supermarket with Irene throwing a tantrum being left in the car with the woman who she thought was the home-breaker of her relationship, getting back to the car with tonnes of groceries, dropping back off Seulgi, - Wendy was almost as spent as Irene who still had some of the anaesthesia effect in her.

They were now in the bedroom, Wendy successfully lying Irene on the bed. After tucking Irene inside the blanket and making sure her girlfriend were all comfortable, she quickly stood up, making mental notes in her head of the things she needed to do - text Seulgi to thank her, take and bring up all the groceries she left in the car, cook the soup and prepare the fruits so Irene could eat when she late wakes up - as she made her way to the door.

“Can you hold me until I’m asleep?”

Wendy stopped her tracks, immediately turning her way right to their bed. She placed herself next to Irene, settling down facing the latter. Since the older was lying with her face facing the ceiling (she couldn't sleep sideways because of her cheek), Wendy slipped an arm, moving on her girlfriend's stomach until it reached the other's waist, hugging Irene close. She rest her head on Irene's shoulder, trying to not fall asleep too.

“Seungwan?”

The younger hummed, snuggling closer to Irene.

“Do you remember when you told me that you’re scared of being in love with me?”

Wendy immediately opened her eyes at the topic of the conversation. She didn’t get a chance to retort as her girlfriend continued.

“I’m scared too,” Irene said, this time softer, voiced out as a whisper.

The words that came out of her girlfriend’s mouth surprised her. Irene was not the type that shared her fears like this. Sure, she might cling and whine about the dentist or told her that she couldn’t sleep alone. But never about them. Never about their relationship.

“I guess it’s because you’re so great at loving. It’s not your fault, of course. It’s just, you love me so much and you always managed to make me feel them and it makes me love myself a little bit more too. You talk about me, look at me as if I’m this great person and I… I like myself best when I’m with you.”

“Then there’s me, and I’m not good with words like you do, and I don’t always know the right things to say. I’m curt, I... I try to let you know better but I know that I’ll never be as good as you. You make me very happy. What if I can’t make you feel as much as that?”

Did she never tell the older that? Was it not obvious that Irene made her the happiest she had ever been? That Irene made her feel loved over and over again and proved it everyday?

“When you told me that you’re scared, I felt helpless that I can’t express… and convince you, and say the right words to let you out of that fear. I don’t know how to convince you that I’m not going, I don’t want to go. I can’t.” 

Irene sounded so vulnerable, even when she’s half-awake. Wendy hated it. With dentists or sleeping, Wendy could find a way. She could help Irene through it. But, what should she do if Irene’s fear was about her?

“I have nowhere else to go. So, can you please let me stay? Can I stay?”

Before Wendy could think of words she should say, Irene had fallen into her sleep. Would Irene remember this conversation when she later wake up and all the effect from the anaesthesia wore off?

She tightened her embrace  towards the sleeping girl, her lips touching the side of her girlfriend’s head. It’s alright if she doesn’t, Wendy thought. She could do what Irene always do with her fears. Yeah, Wendy would prove them wrong.