A Woman
If You Were Gay
The Gay Panic: Park Chorong
It was high school. A few years ago.
Chorong sat with her hands in her lap, books and pens neatly laid out on the desk in front of her. Gold-rimmed spectacles pushed up her nose, with makeup applied to her soft features like a porcelain doll. Prim and proper was how she held herself to her studies and to every aspect of her life. In a fast changing world of anomalies and infinite possibilities, Chorong liked to think she had control over something at least. Her personality. Her rules for living.
Waiting before their economics class, the senior students were chattering amongst themselves as the teacher was busy getting the projector ready. At some point, the resident class entertainer had drawn the room's attention, something that naturally seemed to happen since everyone would welcome the random tidbits she'd say. Hyejin was the kind of extroverted outspoken student who conversed well with the teacher like a friend, and would never be afraid to get things wrong, though oftentimes she was actually smart and right, asking important questions that others wouldn't think to ask.
Contrary to appearance, Chorong didn't think of herself as a very smart or perfect role model for a student. Some people may think otherwise, but she thought students like Hyejin were the best kind of students. She was envious of them.
They exhibited those strong qualities that she was afraid to have. The skill of friendly conversation and making anybody feel comfortable with your presence. Commanding attention without being intimidating.
Comments