When It's Easier to Lie

Because None of Us Were Angels

The pain finally turned to nothing but a dull ache as Kevin began to grow numb with immobility. He hadn't been able to eat what his mother had made for him, even if he had wanted to, just looking at the soup made his stomach churn.

"I think we should go to a hospital, Kevin..." His mother suggested, swiping her hand over his hot forehead once more. Kevin shook his head vehemently, forcing his mother's hands away.

"No, it's just nerves and stress, I'll be fine tomorrow." Kevin told his mother, all while wondering what on earth was going wrong with her. It felt odd, unreal, fake. But, upon looking into his mother's eyes he saw genuine concern and worry in her eyes. Either she was a good actress, or she was actually worrying about Kevin. His mind spun.

"All right, well, get some rest, then. But if you're still feeling ill tomorrow, we're going to the hospital regardless."

Kevin nodded and then his mom did something very strange. She kissed his forehead lightly and covered him with blankets, tucking him in.

Like a child. Like her actual child.

Confusion flowered rapidly through Kevin's head. He was delirious with fever, he decided definitely. Still, he tried thinking back to the last time his mother had kissed him on the forehead so tenderly.

Probably before she began cheating on their father. Before he had seen it with his own eyes.
She seemed different then, too. When Kevin had seen her with the other man, he had a hard time believing it was actually her. She was in a weird outfit unlike any he had seen her wear before, and her hair was tightly curled and springy. And she tugging on the man's tie with a flirtatious curve of . Diana was at school, and their father was at work.

Kevin, having just arrived from school, was shocked. He didn't understand what his mother had done was bad, or else he wouldn't have blurted it out over dinner. He torn his own family apart that night.

The night before that, Kevin recalled, was the last night his mother had kissed him.

Kevin sighed and closed his eyes, willing for more sleep to come and erase his mind. Even though sleep did eventually overtake him, Kevin could not escape his dreams.

They weren't dreams so much as they were memories. All the personalities his mom seemed to have. The strict, the promiscuous, the hate-filled, and the loving. Which one was his real mom?
The loving one seemed to be around too little to be the true personality, as did the promiscuous. That left the strict and hate-filled. Kevin still wasn't fond of either of them.

Awaking with a start, Kevin remembered his teacher's mental disorder lesson, specifically about split personalities.

And that's when he heard the noise that had interrupted his slumber again. A crash, the sound of glass breaking. The shatter was followed by an hysterical cry from his mother, Kevin jolted from bed to see what was the matter.

 

Upon entering the kitchen, he knew there was something completely wrong with his mother. Tears were streaking her cheeks, dark mascara marks against porcelain skin. Her hand, Kevin's eyes focused on her hand, dripped blood onto the marble counter top. Eyes wide, he opened his mouth, the words stopping in his throat.

 

“YOU!” His mother shouted, meeting his eyes, “You worthless piece of ! It's your fault your father left me! Yours!” Kevin backed up as his mother advanced towards him, knowing what was coming. His mother had hit him before when she was in this mood of hers. This violent one, though, he hadn't seen in years. Not since the first time his mother had found out Deanna and his father moving to America after the divorce.

 

By that time, they were long gone and Kevin couldn't get to them for help. He couldn't this time, either. He couldn't get help from anyone, he had left his phone upstairs on the bedside table. Not that he really knew what he would do, anyway, his mind was blank except for one thing.

 

All of this, I deserve it.

 

Closing his eyes as his mother's hand swung back to hit him, Kevin prepared for the impact as it came with a sharp sound. Pain splintered through his cheek, erupting in his brain like a bullet. Despite himself, Kevin fell to the ground, holding his angry red cheek. Above him, his mother fumed.

 

“If you hadn't told your father about him, none of this would have happened! You worthless, stupid, child! I don't know what I was thinking, keeping you! I should have given you up when I had the chance.” She spat.

 

Kevin couldn't look at her, his eyes focused on the ground as she continued in on him. She said the things he already knew about himself. He wasn't anybody she could be proud of, he wasn't of any importance.

 

He couldn't even be something pretty for his mother to look at. All he could offer her was a disfigured, defiant lump of carbon. He couldn't do anything to appease her.

 

It wasn't until a knock at the door that his mother stopped, straightened her blouse, and walked away. Kevin didn't move, but he could hear everything that was going on in the next room.

 

“Ma'am, we have reports of a noise disturbance, is everything okay here?” Kevin could only guess it was a police officer at the door, but of course, who else would it be? His mother had stopped inviting people over weeks ago after his hours at dance practice were cut as the competitive season ended and he was home more.

 

“Why, yes, officer, everything is fine. I just dropped a few dishes, is all.” Kevin could hear the fake smile in his mother's voice.

 

“Mind if we take a look through the house, you know, to make sure?” A deeper voice than the first asked. Kevin panicked, looking around for something to do other than sit there with a bruised cheek and teary eyes. At the table, his school books sat, giving Kevin the perfect plan.

 

He spread them out on the table, hoping for it to look like he had been working on something, and grabbed the broom and dustpan from the cleaning closet. He was sweeping the pile of glass innocently when the officers walked in, his mother right behind them.

 

Kevin's eyes connected with his mother's, and he could see the warning in her eyes. If he said anything, this was the end of him.

 

“Hello, son,” The taller of the two officers greeted, his badge reading Kim Jaehyun. Kevin could feel both of the officer's eyes land on his red cheek, he looked around nervously. “Is everything okay in here?”

 

“Y-yeah,” Kevin stuttered, knowing his voice wasn't in the least bit convincing.

 

“What happened to your cheek there?” The other officer, Lee Doojoon asked, pointing to his own cheek as if Kevin didn't understand.

 

“It...it was an accident at school-” His eyes flickered towards his mother, her eyes narrowing, “I fell and hit my cheek on a bar in the dance room.” He said, trying to make his voice stronger and failing miserably.

 

The officers looked towards each other, and then at Kevin's mom, “Ma'am, can we take your son to ask him a few questions privately, please?” Kevin's heart slammed to a halt, knowing his mother would be furious at his performance. Yet another thing he couldn't do for her, lie to protect her.

 

The officers clearly hadn't believed him. Yet, his mother smiled sweetly and answered, “Yes, of course.”

 

“Is that okay with you, son?” Officer Lee asked, raising his eyebrows. Kevin's quick glance to his mother showed her nodding. If he said no, that would only cause more problems. Now all he had to do was lie through his teeth and they'd be home free.

 

Kevin led the officers to his bedroom, closing the door as he saw his mother sneak into the hallway despite the officer's words. “What's your name, son?” Officer Kim asked.

 

“My name is Kevin, sir.” Kevin sat on his bed, hands resting on his knees, back straight as a rod.

 

“Truth is, this isn't the first complaint we've received about your mother, are you aware of that?” Officer Lee spoke.

 

“No, I wasn't aware that you had been called before.”

 

“Some of your neighbors suspect abuse, did you know?” It was still Officer Lee that was speaking, Officer Kim was looking around his room with mild interest.

 

“I didn't.” Kevin was surprised. His mother usually didn't go off on him like she had just done. Between his angry mother and his violent mother, she had only had a couple outbursts a week. He hadn't been hit in any one but this time. “Why would they think that?”

 

“Well, Kevin, that's what we want to know. Does your mom abuse you?” He asked, dark brown eyes peering into Kevin's, seeking truth.

 

“N-no, of co-course not!” Kevin stood, offended that they would suggest it, although, he was just acting.

 

“Abuse isn't just hitting, Kevin. Does she yell at you, threaten you-”

 

“No...no, she's a good mom-” Kevin protested, the lie weighing on his shoulders. Even if he didn't think she was the greatest mom ever, she was still the only thing Kevin had here. She was all he had.

 

“Okay, okay...” Officer Kim finally spoke, now raking his eyes over Kevin. He felt exposed under the officer's analytical gaze, “What about feeding you?”

 

“My mom feeds me just fine, I don't see why you're asking these questions!” Kevin stomped, still standing.

 

“Kevin,” Officer Lee rubbed his eyes in defeat, “I'm sorry, son, but we can see that you're lying.”

 

“I'm not lying!” Kevin shouted desperately, they couldn't take his mother away. Feeling the tears bubble up in his eyes once more, Kevin sat back heavily on the bed. “She's all I have, don't take her away.”

 

“You piece of !” Kevin's mom burst through the door, screeching as she launched at Kevin quicker than the officers could catch her, “I told you not to tell-”

 

His mom's body was lifted off of him by the officers, who were shouting words Kevin couldn't tell and suddenly his mother was being dragged out of the room by Officer Kim. Officer Lee remained, requesting back-up on his radio.

 

Kevin held his throat, where he could still feel his mother's hands.

 

Officer Lee knelt in front of Kevin as he sat up on the bed. “Do you have anyone you can call to stay with?”

 

His father immediately flashed through his mind, but instead, Kevin shook his head. His father was in America, there was no way he could fly there or vice versa. Officer Lee nodded sadly, “Well, we're going to take you to the hospital to get you checked for any other signs of abuse, okay?” Officer Lee placed a hand on Kevin's blonde head sympathetically. “But, we're going to have to ask you more questions after we're done, okay?”

 

Kevin nodded, standing up as the officer indicated and followed him out to the driveway where a second police car was pulling in. A female officer stepped out and surveyed the scene.

 

“Officer Shin, this is Kevin, will you please take him to the hospital while we take his mother into custody? We'll brief you on the full details when we get to the hospital.”

 

Officer Shin nodded, her eyes falling on Kevin. They softened immediately upon taking in his shaken state and bruised cheek. Kevin's gaze fell down to the ground once more as she beckoned him towards her, resting a hand on his shoulder as she put him in the back of her squad car.

 

Before the door closed, Kevin took one last look at his mother, screaming at him from the back of the other police car.

 

…..

 

Kevin hated doctors. All the poking and prodding, really, there was nothing he hated more than being examined head to toe. “When was the last time you ate, Kevin?” The doctor asked, his glasses perched precariously on his nose as he read from his note sheet.

 

The body exam was done, and now they had just moved onto the questioning. Kevin was relieved, this he was expert in lying about. “Today at lunch, I had stayed home from school with a fever and mom had made me some noodle soup.”

 

The graying doctor looked up from his notes in disbelief, “How much of the soup did you eat?”

 

“The whole bowl, sir. My mom is an amazing cook.” Kevin nodded. From outside the doorway, Kevin saw Officer Shin leaning against the door frame, wondering why she was still there. He wasn't a criminal or anything.

 

The questions went on, Kevin answering each with well practiced lies. They wouldn't find any kind of abuse here, not if Kevin could help it.

 

As the doctor was finishing up his questions, Kevin noticed Officer Kim and Officer Lee join Officer Shin in front of his door. “I'm going to have a word with the Officers that brought you here, so sit tight, alright?”

 

Kevin nodded, watching as the doctor left. Slipping off the bed, he headed toward the stand where a pitcher of water and a few cups sat. Using it as a ruse, he listened to what they were saying.

 

“Besides his cheek and a small bruise on his tailbone, there isn't any physical evidence of abuse.” The doctor said.

 

“And mentally?” Officer Shin's soft voice asked

 

The doctor inhaled sharply, “That's a different story, there, officer. I'll need to have him sent up to my therapist. In the meantime, I've contacted his next of kin who agreed to come within the next day or so.”

 

“His next of kin? He told me he didn't have anyone to contact.” Officer Lee put in.

 

“His father and sister live in America.” The doctor nodded, “But, due to the circumstances, I figured it was best to inform them of what was going on in Kevin's life.”

 

Kevin's heart sunk. His father would be so disappointed.

 

“The boy looks too skinny to be healthy, doctor, what do you say about that?” Officer Kim asked. Kevin's ears perked to full alert, wondering just what this doctor would have to say about that.

 

“Yes, his body is rather malnourished, but I don't think his mother is at fault for that one.”

 

“Are you saying-?” Officer Shin cut herself off, Kevin caught a look of shock.

 

“Yes, Kevin shows signs of anorexia.” the doctor nodded.

 

Kevin gulped down the water, his stomach feeling sick.

 

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to attend to. That is my report on Kevin, and you're free to go speak with him if you'd like.”

 

Kevin rushed back to his bed, feeling more lightheaded than ever. The three officers made it into the room, Officer Shin looking at him, “Didn't like what he had to say, did you?”

 

“Why did he call my father?” Kevin asked, anger flaring.

 

“It's his policy, Kevin. In circumstances like this, if listed, the next of kin needs to be notified. If he didn't, he could have lost his job.” Officer Shin explained, but it did nothing to sooth Kevin.

 

“My father has better things to do than worry about me.” Kevin huffed, crossing his arms.

 

“The doctor didn't force him to come, obviously, you're father thinks that right now, you're the most important thing to worry about.” Officer Shin went on.

 

Kevin's heart twisted in something similar to hope, Kevin wasn't quite sure what it was, actually.

 

“Now, Kevin, we have a few questions to ask about your mother, if it's okay.” Officer Lee butted into business.

 

“And we want the truth this time, okay?” Officer Kim added with a stern look from Officer Shin.

 

Kevin nodded, there wasn't any reason for him to lie anymore, anyway. They had witnessed his mother attacking him, they could put her into jail for that alone. Within the first few questions, Kevin was telling them everything.

 

His mother's different sides, her texts, her mood swings, everything.

 

In the end, they had to take his phone, but Kevin wasn't that concerned. They also told him that he'd be staying in Officer Shin's care until his father arrived as all their foster homes were full and there was no one else available for the time being.

 

Kevin agreed, just so long as he didn't have to stay in the hospital. Plus, Officer Shin seemed like a nice lady.

 

When they arrived back at his house to pick up some clothes, she gave his house a once over for anything the other two officers might have missed.

 

“You said you ate the whole bowl.” Officer Shin pointed out, standing beside the table next to his bed. “This hasn't been touched.”

 

“Oh, mom brought me a second bowl after my first in case I needed it, but I was already pretty stuffed.”

 

“So, earlier, she was in her caring personality?” Officer Shin asked, not sure if she believed Kevin or not.

 

“Yeah...” Kevin nodded, finding it harder to tell the truth now that he was telling so many lies.

 

“Your mom is going to get a mental examination, Kevin, do you understand? The symptoms you've been describing to us sound a lot like Dissociative Identity Disorder, or Split Personalities.”

 

“I understand.” Kevin nodded, zipping up his bag slowly. Something felt strange inside of him. More than hope, inside his chest he sort of felt...relieved.

 

With that, their conversation died and they went back to Officer Shin's house, “I guess since you'll be staying the night, you can call me Yoonsoo. I usually order takeout, is that okay with you?”

 

Kevin nodded, voice tired from talking so much. “I'm starving, so I'll just go pick it up myself, do you have any requests?”

 

“No, I'm not a picky eater.” Kevin shook his head, I'm not an eater in general, he added in his mind.

 

“Okay, I'll be back in twenty minutes at most. I don't have a spare bedroom as it's just me here, but the living room is all yours tonight, so make yourself at home. The bathroom is the first door down the hallway, if you need it.”

 

And boy did he ever.

 

As soon as the door shut safely behind Yoonsoo, Kevin was making his way to the bathroom with his bag. Safely locked away, Kevin bent down over the toilet, his knees hitting the hard vinyl of the floor. Once jabbing of his finger down his throat gagged him, the second, splitting his knuckle, had the desired effect.

 

Stress poured into the bowl beneath him, the events of the day forced out into the mixture of stomach acid and water. It wasn't until the second round of the cycle did Kevin see red.

 

Blood.

 

Kevin's eyebrows knit together. Instead of forcing himself a third round as he usually did, Kevin stopped, the blood concerning him. It was the first time something like this had happened before. Standing and wiping his mouth, Kevin flushed the evidence down the drain.

 

Blood was probably normal. It probably meant he was finally getting somewhere. Just as he finished rinsing his mouth with mint mouthwash, he heard the door to the apartment open. “Kevin, I brought chicken for us!” Yoonsoo called out to him.

 

Kevin ate for show only, and was relieved as Yoonsoo received a call from dispatch. After setting a couple blankets out for Kevin, she left with a promise to be back later, but that wasn't what Kevin was worried about.

 

Rushing to rid his stomach of the greasy and disgusting contents, Kevin almost didn't need to gag himself, his stomach was nauseated at just the thought of the food beginning its digestion.

 

Once finished, Kevin noted that there wasn't any blood. Marking it off as a one time thing, Kevin brushed his teeth and went to make himself a bed on the large couch in the living room. Even though it was just as soft as the one he had at home, Kevin found himself not being able to drift off to sleep.

 

Instead, his mind was plagued with what his father would say when he came back. Kevin knew he would be so disappointed. He started to come up with all the lies he could tell to ease his father's mind.

 

Woo, I wrote this in no time at all~! Also, did you notice I changed my username?

A few notes about this story, now.

As you are aware, half of the story has gone missing! O:

Well, I'm starting this pretty much over. The deleted chapters will be reposted when the person they're focused on shows back up. Instead of giving you a chapter you've already read and then having you wait a million years for the next one (although I am hoping to get through the rest of this story no problem), I will post two chapters at that time, so be warned.

And, instead of Eli's chapters being next, I have decided to go ahead with Kiseop's, as it seems better plot wise for what I have planned and I have more of Kiseop's story planned out than I do Eli's. As for Kevin's chapters, there is only one left. Each of the member's stories will have five chapters, giving this story a total of 45 chapters. After that, I will be making a sequel for this story about what comes next for them. The sequel won't be as long, but it will still be a good length.

Lastly, I would like to apologize for the ridiculously long wait and hope that I have at least a few of my readers left.... I hope you've enjoyed the long chapter and I shall begin working on the next as soon as I hit the nifty little 'add chapter' button at the bottom. Thank you so much for reading and sticking it out through this ridiculous lull.  

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Soo-Bear
Sorry for the extremely long and unnecessary break guys. I'm back. And planning on finishing this story....

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Haeyun
#1
Chapter 10: I am very hooked to this story right now. I'm looking forward to reading Kiseop and Jaeseop's stories the most. But wow.
Snowbear #2
Chapter 10: oh my gosh, I fell in love with these stories. The stories of Dongho and Kevin are so sad and they made my cry but...they were written soooo well. Thank u soooo much for writing them.
SooHaPark715
#3
Omfg even though this fic is depressing and shiz, i effin love it! Call me a masochist, idc, but i can relate to some of their insecurities and fears and them feeling helpless and lonely, even though i've never taken it to these extents. I just think that the feelings you portrayed in ukiss's personas for this story are so well put. I have so much respect for you rite now. Please update as soon as you can~ ^^
jinjulazuli #4
Chapter 16: lol i understood all of your metaphors and symbolism
zerothreethirty
#5
Chapter 16: omg haha i understand the things you write so~
zerothreethirty
#6
Chapter 15: kevin just eat and exercise more QAQ omg i really want kevin's story to be good :c
Panda-Chu
#7
Chapter 15: Poor Kevin... actually, poor EVERYone... This is a deliciously depressing fic... >__<
Casandra #8
Chapter 15: Buy for me too. .>______<
Casandra #9
Huhuhu. .hey nice poster u got there. .
zerothreethirty
#10
i'm glad that he's happier :')