Days gone by, Jisoo could feel the baby started kicking as her belly's getting bigger. It left her with a tingling sensation every time she felt something's moving inside her, it was amazing sometimes to see how the baby was actively exercising like her stomach was its playground. But it gave her an uncomfortable feeling too at the same time, because when it moved, it kicked all the way up to her chest that she felt breathless most of the times.

Jisoo couldn't believe how it changed the shape of her body. She could feel that she's getting much bigger, like three times bigger. Everything was swollen; her , her , her waist, her thigh. She felt like a whale, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling because it felt so heavy. She really hated it now to see herself in the mirror, seeing how big she was. Though Yixing kept saying that she looked beautiful no matter what, she couldn't help to feel offended instead, because all she had in mind what how ugly she was and Yixing was just trying to . 

Jisoo thought that the morning sickness and all the pain that bothered her early in pregnancy would disappear over time, the things she heard only appeared during the first trimester and the beginning of the second trimester. But apparently she was wrong, because all of those still kneeled her even when she got into her third trimester.

What happened instead, she was increasingly immobile with an increasingly older pregnancy. Jisoo followed what the doctor said for having the bed rest, but she didn't think that bed rest would be done for months, because when she moved a little, she instantly got a blood spotting, and it wasn't a good sign.

Kyungsoo readjusted her schedule for the umpteenth time again seeing her not being able to leave the house at all. The classes that she got to teach were handled by the assistant team, and Jisoo would see them by video conferencing when the time allowed. Increasingly, seeing everything was going out of place, Jisoo started giving up on doing her work anymore. She was so upset sometimes, but she was too tired to get angry so all she did was crying, especially when she really could not do anything for the whole day except resting in bed. And when this happened, she would shut Yixing down completely, like really wanted him out of her sight. If she was civil enough to talk, she would ask him to go away nicely, but when she was too emotional to handle this calmly, she would just drive him away. She did this mostly for him, because when she was exasperated, she would seek for something to vent her temper. And Jisoo didn't want to lash it out on Yixing, because she knew she would probably throw things at him.

But with the days went away, she gave up completely to keep the work that she was increasingly unable to overcome. Now Jisoo was no longer trying to force herself to do something when she felt like she was no longer able to work sometimes even on weekends and when she felt fine from sickness attacks, she spent more time reading books.

Her mother's words made her think a lot. In the end, Jisoo thought that it's better to surrender to God's plan than to insist on blaming herself or others. She had to say that in the end Yixing's attempt to soften her heart bore the fruits, because now she was no longer trying to shut him up or stubbornly denying the situation and accepting everything openly. Although this pregnancy really tormented her sometimes, she chose to live it with resignation. Like when the morning sickness turns into whole-day sickness, which at first the nausea only attacked it in the morning, the older her pregnancy was, the longer it would last, like even for the whole day.

She thanked Yixing who would stay with her most of the times, that he even deliberately not to go to the office if it happened. When she threw up all her insides, Yixing would be by her side to hold her hair up, to rub her back and help her cleanse herself from the vomit. He would stay with her to massage his numb legs due to the frostbite, and he would stay with her to apply some essential oil throughout her body so that she would no longer feel nauseous. He would light an aromatic candle while she was resting, sometimes feeding her the meals when Jisoo was unfunctional. And with everything he did for her, how could this not make her heart melt?

Her pregnancy made her more sensitive. Jisoo used to think that she was a crybaby even before, but now, the way she responded to everything and immediately cried, it's getting much worse. There was time when one day Luhan sent her a video. Yixing said good-bye early that day to fly to Beijing, it was unsual because it wasn't the weekend as he usually went to see his mother. But because it was still three o'clock in the morning, and Jisoo had only slept about two hours before because her baby had been kicking that kept her up all night, she didn't ask anything and just let him go. When she played the video that Luhan sent, it was apparently a recording that Luhan took when Yixing was giving a thank-you speech. It turned out that day he was invited by the Ministry of Foreign Economic Relations and Trade and was awarded as a businessman from a local company that had provided foreign exchange and the biggest economic assistance to the country that year.

"This one is a hard work, but I want to present this award to the two greatest women in my life." she heard him say, "So, this is for my mother and beloved wife, who are both struggling to conquer their pain right now. We always think that a great man is who is able to build the world with their hands, make a difference and affect the lives of many people, but have you ever thought that we could not be like this without the women in our life? Having accompanied the women in my life for these past months, watching them endure pain, fight their fears, wiping their sweat and tears, all of which made me think that what I had done during this life meant nothing compared to their struggle. This award is for my wonderwomen, the source of my happiness, the ones who make my world beautiful. The ones who I love the most."

Jisoo couldn't hold back her tears anymore and started crying while listening to Yixing's speech. She was too busy with herself all this time, too focused on her own pain, that she forgot that she didn't live alone. Yixing was probably as painful as her, sometimes she saw the expression on his face when she was having her moment. Yixing would frown deeply, he would scrunch up his nose like he was holding back a deep sadness when he watched her vomiting her guts out. She could see that he was holding back his tears when she cried out her heart as the vertigo was making the whole world spun around but she wasn't allowed to take a medicine because it was harmful for her pregnancy, that all she could do was holding everything to her very end. It was so painful that she asked him to kill her instead. But that speech made her realize how precious he was for her, she was thankful but emotional at the same time that when he was home later in the evening, she wanted him to hold her all night. And since then, Jisoo had to have him holding her for her to be able to sleep at night.

Despite the distress that was taking over her and how bad she had been handling this, Jisoo had to appreciate how Yixing had been trying to cheer her up. He had a new hobby that he did every weekend now, when Jisoo was resting in her room, she heard him playing the piano all day. At first, she felt very disturbed by the sound of the instrument, but after playing for several hours, Jisoo would receive a video that Yixing sent to her phone. And when Jisoo played it, it's apparently a video of him playing the song that he had arranged for a whole day. Initially this was only for once or twice, Yixing would send new songs when he had time to play, but this was increasingly becoming a routine activity. Yixing never said anything about it, never asked how Jisoo thought of his arrangements. But there would be new arrangement every week, and though Jisoo never said anything about it either, she let him knew that she'd been enjoying it every night to accompany her to sleep with an earphone attached to her ears.

Yixing also busied himself to start preparing the nursery room when he didn't play the piano. He cleaned the vacant room that they had been using as storage. He bought wallpapers, carpets, and some furniture that he ordered online, and started working on them one by one while using up his weekends when he didn't fly to Beijing. Because they didn't know the of their baby yet (Jisoo never asked every time they went to see the doctor, and knowing that Yixing never tried to ask either), he used neutral colors when choosing the wallpaper. He gave her several color choices when he was about to order them online, but Jisoo let him choose everything as he liked because compared to her, Yixing was much more excited to do this.

When he needed some help, like painting the room and installing planting carpet for the floor of the room, Luhan would come to help him. They would spend a day in the room, and it was only over before dinner. Jisoo never tried to disturb when it happened, she only knocked when it's time for lunch or dinner before letting them back doing their fun.

"How's everything? Good?" 

Jisoo walked up to rest one of her arms to the window frame and straighten her body. She had entered the ninth month of pregnancy, and she was starting to feel discomfort at any time in any situation, especially with her baby kept kicking and exercising inside her belly. She had gained almost sisxteen kilos now, and she felt the front side of herself was really heavy. She had been laying down on the bed the whole morning, and she felt really really tired doing it. She called her mother-in-law today, remembering that this afternoon she would be doing her therapy again and Yixing wasn't there to accompany her.

She had been noticing that Yixing had spent more weekends at home in recent months, especially since her mother returned to Prague. Usually Yixing would fly to Beijing to see his mother and be with her in her therapy, but because Jisoo couldn't go anywhere, he decided to stay at home with her. Actually Jisoo didn't mind if Yixing still went to Beijing, because she knew how he wanted to always be near his mother at this time. But when Jisoo asked him, trying to convince him that she would be fine even though Yixing wasn't at home, he insisted that he wanted to stay with her at home even though Jisoo spent more time in her room, or even though he did nothing in particular.

"I'm alive, that must have meant something, right?"

"Well, I AM alive, that must have meant something." her mother in law retorted a matter of factly, Jisoo just chuckled at that.

"I'm sorry your son can't be there with you. I've told him that it's okay to leave, but he insisted to stay."

"That's fine. I have my husband here, and everyone else too. You need my son more than me there." Jiso