Sana scrolls through phone, reading the commotion.

[technically it’s a man-hating word. It’s used like ‘Again, men are muttering too much. Just listen’]

[but she may have used that word not knowing anything]

Some are giving Jihyo the benefit of the doubt. Alas, many more are thrown off of Twice leader’s unbecoming attitude. They find it ironic too. Jihyo is supposed to be catering since she’s so supportive of her man, as what Dispatch wrote.

[is it really Twice Jihyo? Is she hacked? No matter how she felt bad, she shouldn’t have reacted like that. Oong-aeng-oong doesn’t matter. Just look at her way of speaking. It’s controversial]

[it’s her fault using that word without knowing the meaning. We won’t excuse ignorance]

Sana grips onto nape, huffing.

People completely missed the point and instead, make it to a whole different thing. Twice has been trying to communicate sincerely but, this is what they get. Labeled as ignorant when, it’s the people who are oblivious.

Jihyo had been feeling negatively. Hence, the use of negative expression. But of course, people have no idea. They wouldn’t know the way Sana did.

Unfortunately, though unreasonable, idols must live up to the namesake. People hold them to the highest standards. Thus, for some who consider Jihyo as a god, they were disappointed of her ungodliness.

Sana is familiar with being demoted. She knows this first-hand.

Last year, her Instagram post earned ire by captioning and celebrating a Japanese milestone. Being Japanese is her truth yet, the public finds the gesture inappropriate as it doesn’t have a place in the Korean society.

She learned the hard way. What is given could be taken away in a snap; such that of the godly status. With that in mind, the Japanese expresses serious thought by humbling words.

“Once! It’s Sana <3

Thanks to Once we received awards yesterday and today! I’m always thankful, and I’m always sorry Once. I think for both us and for Once, we’ve become close to one another now.

So, although it would be really great if we could always only have good and happy things, and it would of course be great to see our smiling face often, I don’t think Once are people who want to only see me smile.

Since we’ve become close, I want to exchange even more emotions just as much. But to see Once be exhausted and going through a hard time, it hurt so much and it’s hard to see.

It hurts more if the reason is because of us. If a person of mine is hurting and struggling because of me, there’s nothing more hurtful than that.

But because we are also human, we make mistakes sometimes, we disappoint, and there’s times we hurt Once without meaning to.”

In place of Jihyo, Sana takes responsibility of the shortcomings. Twice is no god. That goes for the leader as well, no exceptions. And like anyone else, they could only work their hardest.

She continues “This year, we want to be someone who’s able to embrace Once more warmly. Just as how it’s as if Once always give us a warm hug when we’re hurt and when it’s difficult for us.

Sincerely, thank you for always trusting us and cheering for us and being with us. In this year 2020 which just started, we’ll think about the awards from today and yesterday and be a Twice who grows more.

Let’s overcome this year together! I cherish you a lot, Once <3

Just one last…

I want to be Once’s strength. We’re not Twice who make Once have difficult time. I want to always be together with the people who are next to us which are Once.

I hope you’ll close your eyes again, think about it, and understand that. Sorry for it being a late hour now. You worked hard today as well. Sleep well :)”

Morning in, the leader wakes up ahead of everyone else. She prepares the table with loaves of bread, butter and jams, and a variety of drinks for each of the girls’ varied tastes.

Alarms go off one by one. School Meal Club arrives first. Bread lover Tzuyu is the most excited, Dahyun follows, and lastly, Chaeyoung.

“Last sched before vacay! Who’s excited?” Jihyo in good mood.

“Me!” Tzuyu answers. Chaeng raises hand. Dahyun grunts, “Finally! Three weeks to heal. We all need this.”

Sooner, the unnie line who tends to stay up late has awaken. To Jihyo’s surprise, the first to arrive is Nayeon. Disheveled hair covers unnie’s swollen eyes. Dazed Jeongyeon and Momo grab other food in the fridge.

An alarm has snoozed. Jihyo goes to check Sana. Sits on the bed side, she caresses the other’s cheek and whispers “hey, food’s ready~”

Stretches and groans. Sana then catches Jihyo’s thumb through teeth.

Giggles, “Mwoyah? I’m not the breakfast.”

Sana shifts through hand taking the other’s, off the bite mark she made. The Japanese smiles with eyes still shut and says, “Figured you’re gonna miss me. So, I’m giving you this.” Bites again.

Gasps, “Aaaniya!” Jihyo pulls and hides hand quick. She mutters, “No need.”

She won’t need it. Her mind is already full of Sana. It’s to a point of hearing ‘Sana’ on BTS Fire lyrics and randomly sharing Sana’s whereabouts to Once.

The leader even plans to dye her crown purple, Sana’s designated color. Lavender tone, to be exact. Jihyo was teasing her partner while in the waiting room at the Golden Disk, making her guess which color was she trying.

“What is it? Do I like it?” Sana asked for a clue. Jihyo affirmed. The Japanese has been personally into pink. So, she started blurting some shades “Rose Gold!”

Nayeon cut in to Sana’s rescue, “The color she likes? Or the color I like?”

“Ah right, you said you wanted purple” Sana recalled.

“You should have said it’s Sana’s official color”, Nayeon scolded the leader.

But Jihyo was teasing Sana as a payback on the latter’s misdemeanor from two recent occasions; Christmas Eve and post New Year. Her intent “If I said that, it would’ve been too easy~”

“No need? You sure?” Sana opens eyes gradually to check on Jihyo’s notorious indecisiveness.

The leader is quite sure and her intent for now is on Sana’s health. She veers from the query, “Yah! We’re gonna have a full day and you’d run on empty stomach?! Come on, get up.”

“Araseo. Araseo”, does as told while still yawning.

“Geez, why did you stay up so late” Jihyo shakes head. Seeing her languid, she pats to hasten her.

“I- uh…  calmed the noises down. I didn’t want you waking up to it.”

“Noises?”

In search for a place where only real Onces are around, Jihyo visits where Nayeon has gone. From there, she discovers what noises Sana was referring to. While on break, she yanks her out of the studio.

“Should’ve told me these are the noises”, shows phone. “You’re getting into trouble when this is MY fault. Don’t get involved!”

Sana gestures a timeout. She reminds her, “Hold on- I did say I’m with you whether it be trouble. Pretty sure, I wasn’t kidding.”

“Yeah but- I don’t want you in trouble without my permission!” Looks up as tears form. Jihyo may be indecisive but, when she makes up her mind—she takes responsibility.

Sighs then nods, “Yeah you’re always with me. Then all the more I must take care of you. I caused this trouble myself. I should own up to my actions.”

Jihyo wipes her own tears when Sana reaches out. Turns and walks away leaving the other speechless. The Japanese feels some may have noticed. Upon looking around, she sees some approaching.

“Didn’t see anything. But, you two are gonna make up quick. Don’t worry”, Chaeng pats her on the back. Jeong gives the same, “You know how Jihyo is.”

“Chaeyoung-ah, how can you tell?”

The NoJams pause a bit as the kid rebel answers, “Just that- she thinks of you too much. Your mere words affect her a lot. So…” shrugs.

Sana does have such an effect to Jihyo. Last year, she asked Jihyo to knit her a scarf. She even talked to a sleeping Jihyo about it.

Like the Inception, the Japanese must have frequented the leader’s dream that Jihyo ended up giving Sana such birthday gift. Similarly, it’s why Jihyo ends up having a mind full of Sana.

Today, Sana’s power is proven again in ways she didn’t realize. During an interview, she heard of familiar words from Jihyo’s answers:

“I hope that because of us, many fans can be comforted and be happier. For that, we’ll work harder. Of course, we have weaknesses as well. We also make mistakes. Even so, because Twice and Once are one, please give us your warm support.”

What Sana wishes, Jihyo puts it on command. Whatever words Sana utters, they become Jihyo’s reality. To receive anything, all Sana has to do is ask.

Later that evening, Sana rolls to Jihyo’s bed. She gently approaches the leader who’s busy writing a letter to Once.

“What?” Jihyo takes notice. Sana squeezes herself in. The leader suspects she’s being charmed to halt what she’s doing. She protests, “Sana?! I’m still gonna write this, you know.”

Jihyo keeps on writing.

“Let’s not be like this. O? We’re not gonna see each other for a long time. I understand you wanna fix that. But shouldn’t we fix this too?” She clutches onto the other’s arm, “Were you really that mad?”

Jihyo pauses writing, “Yes I’m mad. Mad worried about you!”

“Then I’m sorry~” Sana sits up, “I also wanna take care of you that’s why I did that. We’re in this relationship together, Jihyo-yah. You’re not supposed to be the only one taking responsibility.”

Sana takes Jihyo’s hand and kisses it. Then, she lays it on her chest making Jihyo feel her heartbeat. For her, time is precious. She doesn’t wait longer to fix what they have.

Papers all over the bed, the two are making up. If not for the sound of the pen dropping, Jihyo would forget she has a letter to finish.

She says panting, “Nado mianhae… I’m- writing everything from the start. So, it’s gonna be a long letter.”

“I just want us to make up anyway”, Sana nodding in low voice. She gets up to gather the papers and hands them to Jihyo who has found the pen. The Japanese leaves the leader with one more kiss.

The letter indeed has taken her so long. It was 2:08 am when she finished.

“Once this is Jihyo

I’m sorry that I might have hurt and disappointed Once in the V app chat yesterday. I’ll talk step by step from the beginning…”