Chapter 3

Our Gentle Sin

"Jonginnie, what are you doing?" 

The boy turned around to find Kyungsoo standing at the door of his room. Usually Jongin never paid attention to anyone calling him, especially when he was busy doing something. But it was one of those rare times where Jongin abruptly shut the notebook he was writing in to prevent getting caught with his secrets. Before that day, Kyungsoo had always respected Jongin's privacy and never asked him about this strange behaviour. But now he knew, and he had to invade Jongin's space as advised by Jongdae. 

"Kn-knock...knock...you sh-should knock." 

Kyungsoo always found Jongin unbelievably adorable whenever he would get upset with something and then about it with a cute pout on his face, because those were the only times Jongin would openly express his opinions due to the displeasure. He smiled to himself while walking inside. Kyungsoo knew very well that Jongin hated him being clingy, except for when the poor boy was really scared or hurt. But Kyungsoo just could not hold back, he back hugged Jongin from behind the chair he was sitting on. Jongin immediately started wiggling the upper half of his body to come out of Kyungsoo's hold. The elder let him go because he knew that Jongin would start whining if he didn't. Kyungsoo came forward and stood against the study table, he crossed his arms over his chest as he observed Jongin with his love and affection filled eyes. Jongin on the other hand, unaffected, just kept scratching the lead of his pencil while somehow managing to swing his long legs back and forth. 

"We need to get you a haircut." Kyungsoo said while gently lifting up the hair from Jongin's forehead, "Don't these bangs bother you?" It could be easily fixed, since Jongin's hairstylist was none other than Baekhyun, whose hair dressing and cutting techniques were one of the few uses one could get out of him. 

"Jongin, did you like meeting Jongdae today?" 

"J-Jong...Jongdae." 

"Yeah", Kyungsoo was very excited to see Jongin finally trying to conversate with him, "Did you like him?" 

"Jongdae...Jong-Jongdae." 

Nevermind, Jongin just liked the word and now was repeating it over and over again, another typical behaviour. Kyungsoo sighed out of disappointment.

"Baby its too late now, go change and brush your teeth. Also..." Kyungsoo took the pencil away from Jongin's hands, which were now smeared with the black lead, "...wash your hands properly first." He then gently pulled on Jongin's arm to make him get up and go to the bathroom. 

While Jongin was inside, Kyungsoo arranged the bedsheet. Before getting under the blanket, he strategically picked Jongin's best friend, that huge brown teddy bear, up from the bed and put it down on the carpeted floor. 

Jongin came out all tidied up, and straight up went under the blanket. Within a split second he noticed that something was missing, to his relief, Kyungsoo spoke before he could start freaking out, "I think that you should let your teddy bear rest for a while. You have me to cuddle with you tonight, right?" Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows as he waited for any, any sort of response from Jongin, and he did get one. Jongin never made eye-contact with anyone, but still he looked up at Kyungsoo with puppy eyes. This melted Kyungsoo's poor heart, he stretched his arms towards Jongin, who let go of his little pout and clung to Kyungsoo's tiny but slightly chubby frame. Kyungsoo, with an expression of a proud mother on his face laid down on the bed along with Jongin. They snuggled closer to fit into each other's arms perfectly. It seemed like Jongin found more comfort, warmth and security in Kyungsoo's hold than his lifeless teddy bear's. As much as Kyungsoo was happy and touched to have his baby's sleepy head resting on his chest, he regretted all those nights wasted when he slept away from Jongin just because of someone's evil advice. He didn't want to make any move which would make Jongin uncomfortable, but just a little peck wouldn't be that bad, right? He lifted Jongin's hair up to expose his beautiful and glowy forehead, and then planted an ever so gentle kiss there. Jongin must have been too tired to flinch, or maybe he had already slept. 

It was so hard for Kyungsoo to get up from the bed. The sweet coconutty scent of Jongin's hair was too mesmerising to let him go. With a shy and touchy Jongin lying so close to him, with his heart beating at a calm and constant rate against his own, Kyungsoo felt like this was all he wanted, he could stay like that forever. This was everything his wounded heart needed to be healthy again. But alas, Kyungsoo had to let go of the most beautiful moment of his life...to witness a new one, perhaps. After many cautious attempts, Kyungsoo was able to come out of Jongin's strong hold without waking him up. He put Jongin's teddy bear back on the bed next to him, so that he could cling to it just in case he woke up. It was the time, Kyungsoo finally picked up the blue diary still lying on the study table, and tip-toed his way out of the room. 

Kyungsoo sat down on the kitchen floor with his back rested against the wall, and opened the cover of the book to reveal the first page which had small "Kim Jongin" written in a beautiful cursive handwriting on the top right corner. His heart was beating so fast, he had no idea of what to expect. Also, it felt like he was doing a bad thing, but he chose to go forward with an excuse of 'advised by the doctor'.

Kyungsoo chuckled along going through pages after pages of Jongin adorably describing even the smallest incidents of his everyday life. The diary revealed everything, literally everything about Jongin, his feelings, his approach towards the world, his imagination and his emotions for each and every person, or even object connected to his life. Kyungsoo was on the verge of breaking into tears of happiness. Every single time he read his own name in Jongin's neat and meticulous handwriting, his heart fluttered. Jongin was Kyungsoo's most precious possession, he was definitely more than just an unaccepted step brother for Kyungsoo. The only thing that Kyungsoo's mother was unable to convince him about was now proved false by Jongin himself. Jongin did love Kyungsoo, he was attached to him, probably even more than Kyungsoo was to him, because Jongin didn't have an overly possessive mother to share his love with, he only had Kyungsoo. Before Kyungsoo could start crying again at the realisation of what could have happened to Jongin if he had really been sent away from Kyungsoo and to a place with strangers who would never give a about his feelings, he chose to focus more on the positivity that was all inside the diary. He also noticed that Jongin had pretty much decent writing skills, the sentence structure, the vocabulary, the expressions, everything was quite impressive unlike how he actually spoke. It was surprising to Kyungsoo because Jongin was not even able to form coherent sentences and he stuttered a lot and even was hindered by delayed speech whenever he did choose to speak anything. Kyungsoo wondered why Jongin always failed in language subjects. Probably because he himself was living in a fantasy, and his happy and carefree world didn't even compare to the fictions he was forced to read. 

The curiosity level was rising so high that Kyungsoo chose to skip the rest of the diary, which was about a hundred more pages, and go directly to what Jongin was writing just when Kyungsoo entered the room that night. 

"Dear diary, 

Nothing exciting happened in last few days. The bird outside the window still hasn't returned back to her nest, I really miss her. Kyungsoo too has not been cooking my favorite food. My hair have grown too long, they poke me in my eyes. I hope Kyungsoo calls Baekhyun hyung to cut them. I haven't seen him since the last time he came in with a lot of chocolates. But that day he forced me to play a shooting mobile game with him, I didn't like it. The burn scar on my arm is fading, I'm happy. I'm writing to tell you that I made a new friend today. He didn't tell me his name but I really want to know it-" Kyungsoo looked up from the diary as he remembered how Jongin repeated Jongdae's name when Kyungsoo mentioned it earlier, so it was not because he liked the sound of it, it was because he really was interested in knowing the name, "- He's really sweet. I showed him how to solve a 3x3 Rubik's cube. He praised me and said that he liked me. He also told me about his secrets. But instructed me to not share them with anyone so I will not tell you. I told him about my secret as well, which is you. I hope he doesn't tell Kyungsoo."

And that was when Kyungsoo interrupted Jongin. The last sentence made Kyungsoo feel that he should put the jounal back in its place, because if Jongin found out, then he would be hurt to know that Jongdae betrayed him, which would not be good for his treatment plan. But there was one last thing Kyungsoo wanted to read. The mention of the 'burn scar' made Kyungsoo wonder what Jongin, a positive and happy kid, was thinking when he potentially tried to hurt himself. He flipped just a few pages back until he found the date he clearly remembered. 

"Dear diary, 

Today was not a good day. I made Kyungsoo cry. I can't see him like that even though he looks so cute while crying. But he should not worry about me too much. I was just punishing myself for being a bad person. I know Kyungsoo lies to me that I'm a good boy. If I was then my Mom wouldn't scold me. I've seen in movies that Baekhyun hyung showed me, the mother always loves her child and gets angry only when he does something wrong. Kyungsoo is a good son that's why Mom is so sweet to him but not for me. Because I'm bad. I make her upset. And I've also seen it in movies that bad people should be punished. So I picked up the lighter I found in our garden and tried to cause pain to myself. It hurt too bad, so I was happy. But then Kyungsoo applied cold medicine on it and it doesn't burn anymore. I hope the pain was enough to get Mom to love me." 

The passage was over but Kyungsoo kept looking at the page in disbelief until a few droplets fell on the page. He found himself soaked in the tears, he had no idea when they left his eyes. The fact that Jongin hurt himself to get the love of a person who tried to ruin his life was mentally disturbing for Kyungsoo. He suddenly hated his mother ten times more than he already did. The words of spite that Kyungsoo threw his mother's way in the evening when he went to her house, felt so little to what she deserved. Even though she claimed that she did it all not because of her hate towards Jongin, but for the sake of her son's future, her crime was even bigger now because it was already affecting Jongin in the worst way possible. Had it not been for Kyungsoo's moral ethics as a son, he would totally have sued the horrible woman who was a disgrace in the name of a doctor. He started to feel that his own stepmother was a way better person than Jongin's. 

*************************

Kyungsoo was having a really bad day. He couldn't have a wink of sleep the last night, he just kept crying and blaming himself for everything wrong going on. Once he ran out of tears, he spent the rest of his night watching Jongin sleeping peacefully. The high amount of caffeine he had taken since the morning was still not enough to keep him active at work. And to add to his difficulties, there was no Baekhyun to cheer him up. The blonde was transferred, or we can say promoted, to handle the accounts of other department located in a separate building, which had barely any contact to the one where Kyungsoo was stuck alone now. All of this was due to Baekhyun's literal '-kissing' for his boss. As if the problems were not enough, Baekhyun's old cubicle was now taken up by the brown haired guy, who everyone in the office raved about all the time. It was a trouble for Kyungsoo because he could never ever let Baekhyun know about it, else he would be teased to death; since according to Baekhyun, the guy, Suho, liked Kyungsoo a lot. Yes, Suho had made a lot of attempts to talk to Kyungsoo, he had also given him awkward untimely and unasked for smiles, but Kyungsoo never thought that it was because Suho was attracted towards him. Either way, Kyungsoo had nothing for Suho, and felt like it would be better to simply avoid him. 

Kyungsoo almost dozed off while typing the boring letters on his computer when his phone vibrated. The name on the calling screen drove all of his lethargy away. 

"Hi Jongdae." 

"Kyungsoo, I'm sending you the details of the medicines you need to purchase for Jongin. It will take time for him to come out of his comfort zone so we will start his therapies from the next week. And...yeah, remember we talked about a full-time nurse?" 

"Yes."

"Well, I found a perfect boy. He himself has studied psychology and has a nursing experience of five years. He's the same age as Jongin so I think they'll get along well. He will be joining from tomorrow." 

"That's great." It really was, because now Kyungsoo wouldn't have to worry about Jongin while at work, "What's his name?" 

"Sehun." 

 

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Hey everyone !!!

So, as I said, I had to retype the whole chapter because I lost the data. But I've learned my lesson now, I will start keeping backups from now on. Also, I guess I'll just be shameless and put it out there quickly that it was my birthday on 5th, so I kind of lost the touch with the story for a day, and hence the delay in the update. Sorry~ 

A big thank to each and every one of my 50+ subscribers and everyone else who has read this fic so far. And a bigger thanks for all the sweet and supportive comments, you guys are the best. ♡ 

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Exocity05
To those of you who are still not able to read Chapter 10(1), I will post it again soon along with the second part of it. I'm still unaware of the problem, but I'm so sorry for all of this. ㅠㅠ

Comments

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exo_lkm
#1
Chapter 16: KyungSoo's father is the evil itself. He has a very awful parents.
I hope he could acuse them and left them behind bars soon.

Thanks for sharing
XOXO
NoorKyra
#2
Chapter 16: Oh my his evil father is actually murdered Jongin's mother and intended to kill Jongin too...but unfortunately, Jongin is not with his mother .

Both of Kyungsoo's parent are sick.... First of all for taking Jongin's inheritance and now they're want to eliminate him completely..

I can understand why Kyungsoo's mother only give him a multivitamin instead the real medicine...
NoorKyra
#3
Chapter 11: I know autism or not... Jongin have his needs but he don't know how to say it...

Oh my..... I see the sultry looks and mischievous act in him...
NoorKyra
#4
Chapter 4: So Baekhyun and Suho assume that Jongin is Kyungsoo's boyfriend.....rather than ask themselves the truth from Kyungsoo himself..



Aiye.....





(。ノω\。)
Nicole121314 #5
Chapter 16: Ohmygash .. i knew there somethings wrong with the phone call from Baekhyun eh... anyway hope they catch the criminal - be it their father or whoever wants Jongin to die...
zo-chan #6
Chapter 16: Make that b*stard of a father pay for what he's done! Hurting Jongin, using the lie of Baekhyun's accident as diversion, all of this for reputation ? I'm enraged!
I hope they both get better ...
Zaynablafriki #7
Chapter 16: this chapter was a hell of a ride, one moment we see kyungsoo trying not to give up on life due to jongin's health conditions, and the next kyungsoo again is stuck in the hospital with a bloody jongin, m so happy that you have updated but sad at the same time, I thought this story won't get any better but you're always proving me wrong, please keep up the good work, and good luck in your studies and all.

P.S: Can I kill soo's father? I'm so pissed rn I screamed at soo to remember the security cameras, my smart boy got it right away. BYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
zo-chan #8
Chapter 15: This was heart breaking ... How can that man be so cruel
And now Jongin is keeping Soo out again :'(
Great chapter ~
Miraez69
#9
Chapter 15: Thanks for updating. Looking forward for the next chap! ?
Nicole121314 #10
Chapter 15: Oh so Kyungsoo's father is a bad person too.. just like Kyungsoo's mom... when are they going to stop hurting Kyungsoo and Jongin be able to defend himself. ...