Day 18

Sakura clenched her hands into little fists as her heart pounded loudly. At least it was loud to her ears as she kept her eyes closed. She could feel Minju’s hands glide down her face softly. This blissful feeling was really unlike anything she’d felt before. The feeling she got when she won at a game, while also like utter bliss, was nothing like having Minju’s hands caress her face.

“You can open your eyes now,” Minju said. Sakura opened her eyes and found the other girl holding a mirror with a proud look. “I think it turned out really well.”

Sakura turned her head towards the mirror and found herself looking at someone she could barely recognize. “Is this magic?”

“No, it’s real,” Minju laughed. “You already have a pretty face and your features are very distinct, so all I’m really doing it accentuating some of them.”

Sakura nodded, fascinated by her own face as she turned this way and that way to see all of the changes that Minju had done. Her eyes were much larger looking, and her cheeks didn’t look like those of a baby anymore as her cheek bones became sharper. “There’s no way I can reproduce all of this on my own. I don’t even own all of the cosmetics that you used.”

“Don’t worry. I can teach you how to do this step by step. As for cosmetics, why don’t we go shopping together during Golden Week?” Minju asked.

Like a date!? Sakura asked herself internally, while trying to maintain a calm expression outwardly. She was pretty sure she was failing at that as she felt her eyes bug out. “Um, I would love that.”

“Since we have next Friday off, would you like to go then? We could meet downtown,” Minju suggested.

“Sounds like a date… that I will circle on my calendar. A calendar date,” Sakura answered awkwardly. She giggled in a manic fashion as her brain continued to overheat with the idea of her and Minju spending time outside of school.

“Right,” Minju said, with a confused look, not seeming to understand that Sakura was having a nervous breakdown. She shared Sakura’s awkward giggle as she nodded while smiling hesitantly.

“Um, I can’t go to class looking like this. This is too much,” Sakura said, switching gears to talk about anything else other than their upcoming date.

“Aw,” Minju immediately pouted. “I think you look great though. I’m sure the teacher would be fine with it. It’s not really like you’re wearing too much makeup.”

There weren’t any really specific guidelines as to how much makeup students were allowed to wear, but Sakura was pretty sure that if the teacher didn’t recognize her, that it would be an immediate flag that she was wearing too much. “Maybe, if we didn’t have so many changes, it might okay to go to class with some makeup,” Sakura conceded.

Minju’s pouting face disappeared as she smiled brightly again. “Here, I’ll help you take it off and we can just do a little bit this time.”

“You look nice today,” Chaeyeon said as Sakura helped her distribute handouts to each desk.

“Is it that noticeable? Maybe I should go and take it off before class begins,” Sakura said as she brought her hand to her face. Minju had removed everything before helping Sakura put on the bare minimal makeup that she usually used. The only changes they made were to apply a pinkish blush.

“No, it’s not that noticeable compared to what everyone else wears in class. I guess I just noticed it because I’m familiar with your usual look. I don’t think the teacher will get angry if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Sakura sighed with relief. “Well, if you, the class rep thinks it’s okay, I think the teacher will as well. How did the tryout for center go by the way?”

“I think I did well. They’re going to do evaluations all next week too. Did you ask Eunbi-senpai to look at my practice video? She sent me words of encouragement and advice.” Chaeyeon gave Sakura a suspicious look.

“I just happened to be watching it in the club room when she was there,” Sakura said slyly. “If she’s a busybody and can’t help making comments, that’s not my fault.”

Chaeyeon laughed. “Well, that’s good for me then.”

Sakura put a handout down on the last desk and looked around the room. She smiled as she watched her friend diligently doing the same. “Do you always come so early to class?”

Chaeyeon nodded. “I usually have early morning practice with the cheer dance club. There’s also usually something that us class reps have to do, so even if I don’t have practice, it’s good for me to come here early so I can get things done.”

“You must be looking forward to Golden Week then. You’ll get to have a small break from things here at school.”

“Yeah, but my family owns a café, so even if I’m off, I usually help out there. Not that I mind it really. It’s actually fun since me and my sisters get to spend time together.” Chaeyeon always looked happy when she talked about her family.

“I’m so envious of you. That sounds like fun. I have a younger brother, but he’s such a tsundere. Some days, he doesn’t want to do anything with me. Other days, he bugs me until I play with him.”

“If you want, you can come meet my sisters and the rest of my family. Do you want to have a sleepover at my place? My mom’s actually been asking me to bring the friend I talk about all the time.”

“It looks okay,” Yena said as she doodled on the outside of one of Sakura’s notebook.

“What does?” Sakura asked. She noticed that ever since she had discovered the girl’s secret part-time job, Yena spent more and more of their self-study periods turned around talking with her. Their shared secret knowledge seemed to have made them allies in life.

“Your makeup. It looks okay,” Yena said nonchalantly as she pointed at her own cheeks.

“Thanks,” Sakura blushed, wondering if her pinkish blush was becoming brighter as a result.

“Why the change? I didn’t think you cared about it,” Yena asked, conversationally.

“I think I understand a little more about why anyone would want to look pretty sometimes,” Sakura answered while looking at the girl in front of her. It was strange to Sakura how she once found the girl annoying. The girl still talked very bluntly and still did many annoying things as she was doing now by drawing on Sakura’s books, but she knew there was no hint of meanness in any of the girl’s actions.

“Ooh, is there someone you’re interested in?” Yena asked in an irritatingly cute way that didn’t go well with her husky voice.

“Well, there is this one girl that sits in front of me…”

“Hah, that’s a good one, Kkura,” Yena laughed, bringing her hand up unconsciously to wipe the drool that escaped her lips whenever she laughed a lot.

“Yena!” Sakura hissed quietly as grabbed her notebook from the girl. There was a big wet stain on it from Yena’s drool. There was no question or agreement between the two of them to start calling each other by their first names without honorifics. It just happened all of a sudden and neither really knew when it started, nor cared.

“Hey, it’s your fault for making me laugh,” Yena said, still laughing and trying to be quiet at the same time to avoid disturbing the other class members.

“Maybe, it wasn’t a joke. Did you think of that?” Sakura asked with a straight face staring at Yena’s shocked face.

However, Yena was only momentarily shocked as she closed and rolled her eyes. “Anyway, are you coming by again tonight?”

“Maybe. I do like pudding. Your convenience store is the only one that sells that kind,” Sakura shrugged. Since Sakura had discovered the other girl’s part-time job, she had found herself worried and often made excuses to go and check in on the girl.

“Well, I’ll be putting the fifty percent off stickers on around seven and can take my break around then when I’m finished,” Yena said casually, knowing Sakura’s preference for buying discounted items.

Sakura felt shy as she made her way to the roof of the school. She looked again at the note in her hands. There was no mistaking the instructions. She’d never received what looked to be a confession letter before.

In her head, she was already preparing many excuses and reasons to turn the person down; I’m sorry, I have someone I like already; Now is an important time for me and I think I should be focussing on my studies; Maybe we could just start off as friends.

Taking a deep breath as she reached the door to the roof, she opened it to find Chaewon standing there looking directly at her. As if by magic, all of her excuses disappeared, and she frantically tried to find words to say yes without sounding like a completely besotted fool.

“Thank you for coming,” Chaewon said, saving Sakura from having to speak first. “I asked you to come here today because I think you were trying to help me become friends with the class, and I wanted to thank you for that.”

Sakura felt her hopes crushed as it looked like it wasn’t a confession. “I don’t think you really have to thank me. I didn’t really do anything.” It was the truth in Sakura’s opinion. She didn’t talk the class into becoming friends with Chaewon or anything so direct. She knew the class had been scared of the girl due to rumors and simply showed them that the rumors were false. The girl’s own natural charms were what drew the class to her.

“I just know that they were scared of me one moment and then they were talking with me the next. If you didn’t do it, who did? Nobody else other than Chaeyeon-san talks to me in the class,” Chaewon pressed. She seemed sure that someone had to have talked to the class about her.

“I’m sorry, Kim-san. I don’t really want to take credit for something that I didn’t do. I think you’re a nice person and I think the others in the class just found out later. That’s all.”

Chaewon seemed unconvinced as she looked at Sakura. “I think I can catch you sometimes looking over at me. But I don’t sense anything bad about it. I think you’re watching over me like a guardian angel or something.”

Sakura blushed. She’d been caught before by the girl and she thought she had been doing a better job with her secret glances. “I’m sor… I mean, like I said before. I notice how you’re always so stylish. You’re kind of my style… your look I mean. I kind of wish I could be like that.” Sakura pointed at her cheeks shyly.

“You’re wearing pink blush today,” Chaewon said as she looked at Sakura. “That’s my favorite.”

“I’m not trying to copy you or anything. I just like it too,” Sakura said, trying hard not to apologize like she did previously.

“It suits you,” Chaewon said, before abruptly turning away. She turned her head back, giving Sakura a cool look. “Well, regardless, if you talked to the class or not, I think they started accepting me after our conversation about Maru-chan. So, it’s still thanks to you that me and the class are getting along.”

“Unnie, you’re a player,” Wonyoung said from door to the roof.

“No, you’ve got it wrong! Wait, Wonyoung-chan? What are you doing up here?” Sakura asked as the young girl walked towards her with a crossed look on her face.

“I had some free time for once during lunch and I thought I would look for you. I saw you leave your class and I followed you here. But little did I know that you would be fooling around with another Kim-san,” Wonyoung said with a pout. “Just how many Kims are you tricking?”

“Wait, you have a it all wrong. I’m not tricking anyone,” Sakura denied frantically, appalled that she was giving Wonyoung the impression that she was a play girl.

Wonyoung continued to stare at Sakura with an upset face before her features gave way to a beautiful smile. “Oh, I know that. I was just having fun with you.”

It seemed to be Sakura’s curse to be teased every time by this leggy younger girl. “Don’t you have something better to do with your free time?”

The other girl looked up in the sky as if deep in thought before looking down with a mischievous smile. “Nope! Talking to Unnie is my favorite thing to do.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Sakura scoffed.

“It’s true though. Not that I really have much free time. I thought about what I wanted to do and going to see you was the first thing that popped up into my head,” Wonyoung said, shrugging cutely.

“Well, now that you’ve found me, what did you want to talk about?” Sakura asked, resigning herself to the fact that the girl was not going to let her go.

“Tell me how it’s going with both Kim-sans. Tell me how your club is doing. Tell me anything,” Wonyoung said as she walked over to Sakura and shyly held on to the edge of her sleeve.

Sakura sighed and moved the girl’s hand off her sleeve and into her hand. Hand in hand, they walked towards the side of the roof and sat down against the wall. While the girl didn’t admit to being bullied, Sakura still got the impression the girl was being forced to do stuff that she didn’t want to do. It made her want to spoil the girl when she was being this clingy. “Well, Minju-san has started helping me learn how to put makeup on. She’s going to help me look for makeup next Friday since it’ll be the Golden Week break.”

“That sounds nice. I’ve never done anything like that on break before,” Wonyoung said enviously.

“Did you want to join us? I don’t think she’d mind,” Sakura said, knowing that Minju was a kind soul and really wouldn’t mind.

“I’d feel like a third wheel. I don’t want to ruin your date.” Wonyoung shook her head at the notion.

“It’s not a date. It’s a, um, a meeting between a couple of friends,” Sakura said in a flustered voice.

Wonyoung rolled her eyes at Sakura. “Right. Well, I did hear about a really nice strawberry éclair. Do you think we can meet each other for that? As a meeting between a couple of friends?” Wonyoung asked cheekily.

“I wanted to spend time with our juniors,” Eunbi whined as she looked around the empty club room.

“I think Yuri-chan has cleaning duty today and she doesn’t always join us anyway. Plus, you should know by now that Yujin always comes later,” Sakura said patiently as she prepared items for her and Yujin to work on.

“I came here for nothing then,” Eunbi said as she flopped onto the chair beside Sakura.

“Well, sorry, for being nothing,” Sakura said, used to the antics of her senior.

“Oh? Is my favorite baby jealous of the other babies?” Eunbi asked as she sidled up to Sakura.

Sakura’s face felt flush as Eunbi’s soft breath gently tickled her ear. “Senpai, I still need to prepare!”

Eunbi laughed as she sat up properly and helped Sakura sort the paints and brushes. “I’m glad to see my Kkura-chan still so innocent.”

Sakura wondered where she went wrong in her previous life that both her junior and senior were able to pick on her so easily. “Chaeyeon said she was happy that you commented on her practice video,” she said, changing the topic.

“I’m glad. I don’t know how good my advice would be since I haven’t really cheer danced in a long time.” Eunbi said, her earlier playful smile becoming a little tighter as she cocked her head as if remembering the past.

“Why did you stop?” Sakura asked. She’d never really asked before since she worried about bringing pain to her senpai, but she felt that her senpai wanted to talk about it.

“I had an accident during the summer of my first year. I thought it wasn’t so bad and that I could recuperate. But when I danced for the first time when school started again, I knew that everything was different. It was especially true when I watched Chaeyeon and the other girls perform. I couldn’t dance like they could anymore, and it hurt me to know that at that time.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Senpai,” Sakura said, wishing she didn’t ask, causing bad memories to dredge up within Eunbi.

“No, it’s already in the past. Nothing to be sorry about. I still like to dance for fun nowadays. But dancing at a competitive level is no longer fun for me since I know that I can never give it my hundred percent effort. It’s important to me that I be able to do that. That’s when I decided to form the art club. It was something that I could devote all of my energy and efforts on completely without reserve.”

Sakura nodded with understanding. “Holding back is definitely not your style.”

“I could easily find us more members,” Yujin repeated, but Sakura continued to ignore her.

“It’s fine,” Sakura said as she set up the easel for Yujin.

“Why not? You’re always sighing when you look around the room. I don’t like it,” Yujin said with a frown. She took a seat in front of the easel as Sakura directed.

“I know you could get us more members. You’re pretty popular from what I hear. But I don’t think you’d be happy,” Sakura explained. She pulled up a chair so that she could sit next to Yujin.

“What do you mean? Of course, I’d be happy to have more members to play with,” Yujin said with an obvious forced smile.

“Okay. Why do you come late every day to club?” Sakura asked pointedly, looking at Yujin with seriousness.

“Um, I like to go home and get cleaned up first,” Yujin said, looking down and avoiding Sakura’s eyes.

“I found out from Nako. Nobody knows you’re in the art club right now. You pretend that you’re not in any club. Every day, you go home and then sneak back to school.”

“That little…,” Yujin started to say before she looked up and was stopped by Sakura’s gentle expression.

“At first, I thought you were just using the art club to hide from people pestering you. But when I see how happy you are here, I don’t really care about any of that. What’s important to me is that you’re enjoying yourself and that you feel safe to express yourself here.”

“I was hiding here. I came here during some of my self-study periods too. Don’t get me wrong, I love my classmates and love having a lot of friends. But I don’t really like it when people fight over me. I just want everyone to be happy,” Yujin said, speaking with a maturity that surprised Sakura. “But when you started teaching me about art, I found that my reason for coming here changed. I was actually enjoying it. That’s why I wanted to repay you by helping you get more members.”

“If the club dissolved next year, I’ll be sad for sure. But I’ll be even more sad, if the members I do have now are not feeling safe in this club. It is my duty as your senpai to protect you,” Sakura said, reaching to hold one of Yujin’s hands between her own.

“But I don’t like to see you so sad,” Yujin said. “You’ve made me so happy and I want to do something for you.”

“I’m not sad because the room was empty you know,” Sakura said. “I was sighing because I was thinking how much work it was to clean up after you. You’re like a typhoon when you come in here. If you really wanted to do something for me, you could try to be more careful.”

Sakura hummed to herself happily as she put away the rest of the items that she had told Yujin to leave alone. She had been pleasantly surprised when the younger girl offered to help put things away. She let the girl help with the heavier items, but she wanted to handle the more delicate stuff herself.

She stopped humming as she heard music begin to play in the next room. She listened as Yuri’s beautiful piano playing filled the room with music. She couldn’t hear the girl’s voice clearly however, so she moved closer to the one of the open windows. As she looked out the window, she could see that Yuri had also opened to windows to the music room. From here, she could hear Yuri’s distinctive voice more clearly.

It filled Sakura with unspeakable joy to hear the younger girl’s brilliant voice. It seemed to pierce her heart to the core. Even professional music artists didn’t have this effect on her. Although, Sakura felt incredibly blessed to be Yuri’s only audience, she also felt saddened that the girl’s talent was going unnoticed.

Sakura felt her face become suddenly wet. She brought a hand to her face and found tears. She had started crying when she heard Yuri switch to a girl’s group song. There was really no reason for Sakura to be feeling this way. She recognized the song as one from a Japanese group, Little Glee Monster. ‘Sekai wa Anata ni Waraikakete Iru’ was a song full of positive energy, yet, here she was crying like it was the end of the world.

Sakura felt a stab in her heart as Yuri sang each part herself without anyone else to join her. It was probably her own imagination, but she could almost see Yuri in the other room looking around the empty room almost waiting for another person to join in. She kicked herself mentally as she remembered Yuri looking up at her in expectation. She knew that the girl would never look down on Sakura for singing imperfectly. It was Sakura, herself, who couldn’t get over her own hang-ups.

Sakura hurriedly wiped her face as the song neared the end. She rushed to the desk to get her purse so that she could look at her compact. She found that the tears had messed up the makeup that Minju had helped her put on. She frantically tried to reapply the blush as the other girl had taught her.

“Senpai!” Yuri shouted gleefully as she came bounding into the room. “Haha, what are you doing?”

Sakura swivelled her head in Yuri’s direction with her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. “Um, nothing. I was just touching up my makeup. I learned from a friend this morning, but it didn’t look right.”

Yuri rolled her eyes cutely and went up to Sakura while grabbing hold of Sakura’s hands to stop her from messing her face up more. “I’ll help you. Wow, you really managed to get it all blotchy.”

“Yeah,” Sakura said, while keeping her face still as Yuri gently wiped at her face with the cleanser from Sakura’s bag.

“You don’t usually wear makeup,” Yuri said as she pulled away to look at Sakura before getting the blush for the touch up. “There, all better. This is really cute. I think pink really suits you.”

Sakura suddenly got up and wrapped Yuri in a big hug. “Thank you.”

Yuri blushed as she pulled away from Sakura slightly so that they looked at each other. “Aw, I didn’t do that much.”

“That was plenty,” Sakura said as she mustered up her courage. “Listen, I heard the song you were singing just now. I actually really like it, but I don’t really know all the lyrics all that well. Do you think you could maybe teach me the next time we both have free time?”

Yuri’s eyes lit up as dropped open. “You really meant it, Senpai?”

When Sakura nodded, the other girl suddenly jumped up a little and gave Sakura a peck on the cheek. “Wha?” Sakura asked dumbfounded as she held her cheek where Yuri’s lips had just grazed. Eunbi was right. It was the quiet ones that you had to watch out for.

Yuri blushed and simply winked. “I’d love to teach you that song. It’s actually one of my favorites. I’ve really been wanting to sing it with other people.”

[Kwangbae: Man, that was so fun. Those guys were totally mad.]

[39Kura: It’s pretty basic strategy. They shouldn’t have been so focused on each other.] One of Sakura’s favorite strategies was jumping in after two groups engaged each other. She always marveled how well Kwangbae understood Sakura so well with minimal direction. The two of them were like hawks as they swooped in for the kill on the remaining members.

[Kwangbae: You’re a genius!]

[39Kura: Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself. Sorry, for being late again.] Sakura had felt bad agreeing to meet Yena when she had plans to meet Kwangbae for grouping. Fortunately, her friend was always understanding.

[Kwangbae: You were only fifteen minutes late. Don’t worry so much about it. You said your friend at the convenience store got you a sweet deal?]

Sakura balked at the word ‘friend.’ It was odd to call Yena that since they had seemed to be at odds with each other ever since they started talking to each other at the start of the year. But friend sounded right to her ears. [39Kura: Yeah, her boss lets her have first pick of all the items that go on sale. We were like pigs out in the back.]

“Hii-chan!” Sakura yelled and waved at the girl as she caught sight of a familiar figure and ponytail turn around the corner.

Hitomi stopped and turned around at the sound of Sakura’s voice. “Senpai. You’re coming home late.”

“Yeah. I promised a friend that I would play some online games with her tonight. It was the weekend so I figured we could play as late as we wanted. You’re going home pretty late yourself. Were you just at Nako’s?”

“Yeah, she was showing me all of her merch. She’s spent a lot of her allowance on jpop and kpop. She was telling me the history of each item and every one of them had a story behind it.” Hitomi looked a little weary as she told Sakura of her night.

“Yeah, she can talk your ear off when it comes to idols. Still, that was nice of you to listen to her for so long.” Sakura knew from experience that she could only take so much fangirling from Nako.

“I don’t really mind it. I like spending time with her. Sometimes she tells me stories about you,” Hitomi said with a grin.

“Oh, no, what did she tell you?” Nako knew a lot about Sakura’s embarrassing side.

“Don’t worry, nothing too bad. In exchange, I tell her a lot about how you were in the track team.” Hitomi always seemed to have wistful look when she talked about their past.

“I miss that group of girls too. And even though I was bad at it, practice did keep me in very good shape. Not that I’m in terrible shape now, but I was pretty fit back then.” Sakura held out her arm to show her flabby upper arm.

“Senpai, you were like a twig. You actually look a lot healthier now,” Hitomi giggled as she reached out to rub at Sakura’s bare upper arm.

Sakura’s face blanched as she watched Hitomi play with and poke at her fleshy arm. “Okay, I need to lose weight.”

“What? You’re serious. This is perfect,” Hitomi said as she hugged at Sakura’s arm as if the very thought of Sakura changing it was abhorrent.

“I’m going to start running again in the morning,” Sakura said as she raised her other free arm and looked at the wobbly flesh.

“Well, if you’re serious about it, we can run together like we used to,” Hitomi offered as she finally let go of Sakura.

“Sure. Let’s meet at the corner by the lights like we did before. Same time?” Sakura asked, grateful that Hitomi was willing to be her running partner again.

“I can’t believe you’re still scared to be alone,” Sakura said as Nako cuddled beside her.

“It’s so scary with nobody else here,” Nako said as she shivered involuntarily.

“You could have gone with your parents and sisters.” The Yabuki’s had decided to beat the rush and headed out for Golden Week vacation early.

“And miss the fan sign at the mall?” Nako snorted as if the very thought was absolutely crazy.

“You’re just going to stand there and watch them, right? You didn’t win any fan signs I thought. You’re not even going to be able to see them.”

“Saku-chan!” Nako growled as she elbowed Sakura in the ribs.

“Ouch! I didn’t mean because you’re short. Well, that’s part of it. You know there’s going to be tons of people there. They’re all going to be crowded around the stage. How are you ever going to see anything?” Sakura rubbed at her sore side. Nako may be small, but she packed a lot of power in her tiny frame.

“Just breathing in the same air as them is enough for me,” Nako said, sighing dreamily.

“What do you like about them? You spend so much time memorizing the lines and the dance moves.”

“Everything. Their music gives me strength. They’re all so cute and beautiful. I feel energized every time I look at them.”

It pained Sakura to see Nako so happy whenever she talked about idols. She knew that Nako had given up on her dream to be an idol, so she knew how bittersweet it must have been for Nako to continue being such a fangirl. “Do you ever regret turning down the audition?”

“Sometimes, but then I remind myself what I would have given up. I would have had to move to a different prefecture. I would have had to move away from… here,” Nako’s voice trailed off into a whisper, making Sakura think the girl was falling asleep.

“I think your family really loves you and would have been supportive of you,” Sakura said, guessing what had held Nako back.

Chaeyeon: Doesn’t it seem like too much of a coincidence that she always bumps into all eleven girls.

Sakura: It’s fate.

Author’s note:

Was happy to hear Sakura talk about her AU in front of her members. Too bad not all twelve were there.

Let me know what you thought!