Hyewon’s Days

Day -101

Hyewon blinked when she saw that one of her friends had logged on. It was 39Kura. Unexpectedly, she felt a sudden giddiness as she messaged the girl, or at least, who she assumed was a girl. [Kwangbae: Yo, what’s up? Back on already?]

[39Kura: Yeah, I had some things to do at home. But I should be ready for another all-nighter. You?]

Hyewon had actually already played all day, but the prospect of teaming up with 39Kura again was too good to pass up on. She usually friended everyone that she thought played halfway decently, but there were few that she actually talked with outside of game mechanics and strategy. [Kwangbae: You bet!]

The girl could very well be a man who just liked to play girl characters. When they met for the first time in a game the night before, that had been Hyewon’s first thought. As they played more, she began to hope that the girl really was a girl since they were a lot alike. Neither of them liked using a headset due to past trauma of speaking in games and being bombarded with questions from male players. They both liked it when players made high IQ plays and liked celebrating them. They were either both weebs or the girl was in fact a real life Japanese otaku.

Hyewon wondered if she was placing too much hope on 39Kura being a girl. She didn’t have many female friends at her school compared to middle school, so she had been feeling a little lonely for female companionship. She knew it was probably her fault that she hadn’t made many friends in high school so far. She had been confessed to almost as soon as she first entered the school and immediately a rumor started about her being playgirl which made girls avoid her as a general precaution.

She didn’t blame the girl who confessed. The girl was cute and bubbly and was heartbroken when their relationship ended. Hyewon considered herself to be a fairly outgoing girl on the onset of any relationship, be it friendship or romantic. But when things moved forward beyond the first good feelings, she found herself unable to evolve as the relationship often needed her to.

Online, there wasn’t any need for her to figure out how best to express herself. She just did. It wasn’t rocket science like it was in real life. She didn’t need to know when her friend or girlfriend needed words of encouragement, assurance that she still liked them, or just something on a personal level from her. She also didn’t know when not to ask or say things that might offend them. Interpersonal relationships were hard for her to grasp.

[39Kura: LOL! I can’t believe that worked.]

[Kwangbae: Sometimes the Luffy technique of just charging in there and hoping for the best works!]

[39Kura: You were right. Our team wasn’t great this time, so we had to step up and just go for it. It’s the way Luffy would have wanted it. Actually, Luffy teaches us a lot of things…]

Day -95

[Kwangbae: You play at a PC Bang? I play at home. My parents got me a pretty sweet gaming rig for Christmas because I got pretty good marks on my last test. I think they did it so that I don’t go out as much. I do like the convenience of playing at home though.]

[39Kura: Ah, I don’t mind going out to play. When I’m here, I can just escape from real life and do things that I really like.]

Hyewon paused as she was about to finish the rest of her comment about her own family. She looked at the 39Kura’s comment and decided to erase her own unfinished one. In real life, she would probably have just blurted out what was on her mind. Typing gave her a bit of a delay to think about what she would say which she was thankful for. She wondered if this was where she should ask if everything was okay with her family life or not.

Thankfully, 39Kura seemed to realize how awkward her last comment was. [39Kura: Not that real life is bad or anything. I just prefer to talk about my interests here with likeminded people, which I can’t really do at home or with my friend because they’re not interested in these things. My time as the PC Bang is limited so I really want to get as much gaming and otaku talk out of my system as much as possible.]

[Kwangbae: Do you hate it when I talk about real life?] Hyewon hesitantly wrote out, wondering if it was out of line, but she just had to know.

39Kura’s response was immediate. [39Kura: No, of course not! I love chatting with you. I’m only sorry that some topics are a bit one sided since I don’t have much to add. Please continue talking about whatever you want to.]

Hyewon sighed deeply with relief as she read the girl’s message. [Kwangbae: You know. This winter break has been my favorite. I’m really glad we became friends.]

Day -60

Hyewon slumped over her desk as she finished the last sentence. She didn’t know what made her send such a long wall of text to 39Kura, but she’d been feeling frustrated and it had to boil over on someone. There wasn’t anyone she could talk about her breakup with at school and she definitely didn’t want to talk about it with her family. She considered contacting her friends from middle school, but just like she didn’t tell them about her problems making friends in high school, she didn’t tell them about her romantic troubles either. She buried her head deeper into her arms when she failed to hear an immediate reply from her friend.

She didn’t know how long she had her head in her arms when she heard a ping from her computer indicating that 39Kura had replied. She hastily sat up straighter and saw a wall of text that rivaled hers sent back to her.

[39Kura: I don’t know if I’m the best person to ask for advice when it comes to love. I’ve never dated anyone (Please don’t ask!). But I know what it feels like when people have an image of you that they’ve already formed in their head.

To be honest, I’m probably guilty of it too. We all have impressions of people and sometimes it’s difficult separating reality from your image of them. I feel like if this girl broke up with you after only a week, then she didn’t deserve you.

Sure, she might seem like a kind girl. And you may think that you hurt her by not being there emotionally for her. But in my opinion, she should have given you more of a chance. I think you should be glad that it ended quickly between you two. She obviously didn’t know you and only fell in love with a mirage.

You are a sweet and wonderful person. Even though we’ve never met in real life, I know from the way you talk about your family and your worries for them that you’re a kind soul. I know from the way you always worry about your classmates and school, that you are a conscientious person. I know that you play long hours during the day on weekends, but still make time to play with me when I only have time in the evenings.

I know it’s a cliché, but it really is true. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Just because this one didn’t work out, doesn’t mean anything. Don’t take it too hard on yourself. I have no doubt that Mrs. Right will be just around the corner.]

Hyewon suddenly felt shy as she hesitated writing back to her online friend. [Kwangbae: Thank-you.] she typed and then flooded the text message with dozens of heart and kissy-face emojis. If only she had emojis in real life to express how she felt. [Kwangbae: I just hope that I match whatever image you have of me.]

[39Kura: A gyaru girl with a heart of gold? Hmm, probably not a gyaru. You curse a lot more, so it’s probably more like a yankee girl from the 80s. You know the type. They look hard as nails on the outside, but once they fall in love with someone they become the softest ever.]

Day 1

Hyewon cradled her phone to her chest. If someone told her that she would consider some person that she’d never met before to be her best friend, she might have that person to be crazy. She’d been frantic all last weekend when her friend hadn’t logged on.

When 39Kura logged in today and explained that she’d been sick, Hyewon had felt intense relief. The girl then shocked her by offering her number so that they could contact each other outside of the game. Hyewon knew that the girl was precautious, but a part of her had been sad that 39Kura had not trusted her enough.

Day 12

Hyewon felt a bad feeling in her stomach as she looked at the words on the screen indicating that her friend, 39Kura, had logged off. “Did I say something wrong?” she murmured to herself as she stared at the screen.

She scrolled up in the chat to see what could have made her friend leave so abruptly. Usually, after they’ve gamed, they chatted for a bit before each of them logged off. She blanched as she saw that the last dozen messages were all from her talking about her new crush and how pretty the girl was. It seemed completely one sided now that she could clearly see it displayed on the screen.

39Kura was probably angry. Why wouldn’t she be? If Hyewon was in her position, she would be too. She smacked herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand and groaned. She picked up her phone and wondered if she should text something to the girl.

What would I even write? Hyewon wondered. She was so bad at this kind of stuff. 39Kura had been the person she had gone to recently about things like this. The girl was highly intuitive when it came people interactions, despite how much the girl denied it. There was no way that 39Kura was not popular in real life as she claimed.

Closing her eyes and steeling herself, Hyewon tried channeling her feelings into words. [Kwangbae: Hey sweetie. I forgot to ask, but did you want to play tomorrow night as well? I’ll be on if so.]

Words like sweetie or honey or babe started creeping up in her conversations with 39Kura as if it was the most natural thing in the world. In reality, she still had no clue about what the girl looked like. The most she knew was that the girl was a high school girl like her. Even though she didn’t know much, she knew that she considered this girl to be the closest friend that she had ever had. That fact might have sounded sad to other people, but Hyewon didn’t care as it was the truth.

Day 53

Try and get her to know me. Try having longer conversations. 39Kura’s words of advice repeated themselves over and over in her head the past few weeks. Hyewon had been surprised when her friend started actively asking questions and giving advice about Sakura. She’d thought that her friend might have been sick of her talking about the girl all the time. She had melted at the thought of 39Kura being worried for her. Not for the first time, she was glad that she had such a wonderful friend in her life.

Hyewon tried following her friend’s advice as nothing else was working. Try as she might, she couldn’t seem to ask Sakura out on a date. Perhaps, it would be easier if they were on friendlier terms. Little by little, she began to see fruit from all their small little conversations with each other. She still got butterflies and still tripped over her words because of them. But 39Kura’s advice had been sound since those incidents happened less and less.

And today was going to be the day. She was going to do it. With more confidence than before, she walked up to Sakura’s desk as she entered the class with her prepared lines.

“Sakura-san, good morning. Do you remember that arcade we were at a few weeks ago?” Hyewon asked. She wondered if she had managed to bring up the topic without it sounding forced. But it was too late to change course.

“Yeah, I pass by it almost every day on the way home,” Sakura answered brightly. The topic of anything game related always seemed to make the girl happy.

“Well, I was wondering if you want to stop by after your club tonight and play with me. Say six-seven-ish?” Hyewon asked quickly before she could trip over herself again.

“Like a… I mean, um, yeah, that sounds fun,” Sakura said awkwardly.

Seeing the girl become awkward made Hyewon feel awkward as well. “Uh, great, see you there tonight,” Hyewon said before going towards the back of the room where her desk was.

Day 72

Hyewon always felt reassured about her life after she had a long chat with 39Kura. She’d been feeling down because it didn’t seem like she was able to get through to Sakura about being romantically interested in her. Their date a couple of weeks ago just made the girl see her as a buddy if anything.

As usual, when she was feeling down, 39Kura was there to prop her back up. The girl was right. There is nothing wrong with starting out as friends. Friendships can lead to other things.

One thing from their conversation about relationships that surprised Hyewon was that her online friend still hadn’t met anyone which seemed impossible. Her friend was one of the most amazing people she knew. She wondered if 39Kura was just saying it so that Hyewon didn’t feel bad about not making headway with Sakura.

Day 121

Hyewon couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face if she wanted to. It warmed her heart considerably when 39Kura started sharing personal details of her life. The girl had been so careful of her private life in the past. And now, she was comfortable enough with Hyewon to share it.

Hyewon could now sort of see why some of her girlfriends had broken up with her in the past. In truth, she had been feeling a little insecure about her friendship with 39Kura. She provided the other girl with so many details of her personal life, but 39Kura usually kept quiet when it came to her private life.

Day 256

“Enjoy your holiday, Sakura,” Hyewon said as she waved goodbye to the girl.

“You too. See you in the new year,” Sakura said waving back.

And then she was gone. A few months ago, Hyewon would have been kicking herself at the missed opportunity to invite the girl to do something over the winter break. A lot had changed, however. She and Sakura were on very friendly terms now. She knew that their relationship was growing stronger by the day. Hyewon no longer worried about whether she could invite the girl on another date. It was a matter of when, not if.

Day 266

Hyewon couldn’t believe how nervous she was as she entered the loud PC Bang. She looked at her phone again to confirm that this was indeed the café that 39Kura had booked. She moved through the store with apprehension as she looked around trying to find the girl. 39Kura had said she had booked two computers side by side where there would be some privacy and that she was usually the only girl there.

Soon, Hyewon came upon a girl who sat with her back towards her, who was indeed sitting by one other computer. She stopped in her tracks and wondered if she could still turn back and tell the girl that something had come up. Stop it. You can do this. You’ve grown a lot over the past year. She closed her eyes trying to bolster her confidence. “San Kyu (39) Kura?” she asked timidly as she approached the girl.

“It’s actually Sa Ku Kura,” the girl said as she swivelled her chair around.

Time stopped for Hyewon as she stared at the girl. Sakura. Of course. The girl stared back equally shocked.

“Kwangbae?” Sakura was the first to break the silence as they continued to stare at each other in shock.

“Yes,” Hyewon answered simply, unable to say anymore.

“It’s nice to meet you finally,” Sakura said hesitantly as she got up out her chair and stepped towards Hyewon.

Hyewon lost any control over herself as she stepped forward at the same time and enveloped the girl in a hug. She had had a hope. One that was secret even to herself. Every time her mind wandered in that direction, she would snap it back and scold herself. But at this moment, she could no longer contain it. “I had hoped that she would be you.”

Day 2319

Hyewon: …

Sakura: …

Hyewon: …

Sakura: …

Author’s note:

Hyekura :P

Probably the first ship that I noticed post PD48. I knew they were on the same team during the show and even had a moment. But after the show when I was looking for Kkuchaen, I remember there only being Hyekura for the first vlives. They’ve been quieter of late, but whenever they do interact, I just love seeing how soft Hyewon is for Sakura.