Hyukjae lit his last cigarette for the week, he planned to buy one more pack once he’s done there. It was Friday and it’s supposed to be Hyukjae’s freaky day, it’s supposed to be the day when Hyukjae gets to do anything he likes. Most of the Fridays, he spent sleeping around with strangers, either that or he get drunk at Leeteuk or Donghae’s house but mostly sleeping around.

“Oppa, are you going to stay for the night?” The woman under the soft blanket of that hotel room asked with a hoarse voice, probably tired of all the good time (or hard time?) Hyukjae gave her. Hyukjae scratched his head, feeling a little bothered, “look, girl, you know it’s not going to happen. I told you that it’s just for tonight and you agreed.” Hyukjae inhaled the nicotine and exhaled before he continued, “don’t push your luck.”

Damn, I’m such an . Hyukjae muttered inwardly. But nonetheless, he could not help but to be that way. Even if he fell in love to a girl he’s sleeping with, nothing’s going to change because he can’t have that right now, or ever, he had no idea when will his life become normal like everybody else. But for sure he knew that it wasn’t then.

The girl under the blanket sunk herself deeper into the futton as if she was shamed by Hyukjae’s disclosure. Well, what woman wouldn’t? Hyukjae also felt bad about himself and for the girl too, but he just wanted to have fun. Later at dawn he will have to go out of that hotel stealthily and go back to his apartment, well the group’s apartment as he lives with other members too, then he will have to continue being the lovely idol for his fans, someone who doesn’t sleep around, dances brilliantly and always do things happily and say funny things on camera.

He’d be ready for tomorrow. At the moment, he just isn’t. he just wanted to finish his last cigarette for this week, drank the wine he had ordered before and he planned to sleep for a little while, beside a woman he met and ed and will leave the hotel without and will never meet again, probably. But those seemed to be all the things he needed at the moment.

Later at dawn, Hyukjae woke up and felt a little dizzy from all the wine he gulped down. He dressed himself up and as he did so he glanced at the girl who was in the bed with her and she was asleep. “Hey” he called out softly as he brushed his fingers on her back, “um, what?” she opened her eyes, eyebrows furrowed, seemed to be annoyed. Hyukjae felt bad for her, for himself, for not being able to be a nice guy and take her back home with him. “I... I need to go back right now. Are you going to be okay alone?” He asked out of sincere concern that he suddenly acquired. The girl sighed and closed her eyes again before continuing “what do you care? Just go back. I’m okay.” Hyukjae truly felt bad but why should he care? She knew this would ― well, should ― happen anyway, so... yeah so Hyukjae left. With a heavy heart and a light hope that his life will change, somehow... anyhow. Because one way or another, he’d like to stop sleeping around and breaking hearts.