April 11th 2019, 4:14 AM

Kibum stood in front of the door, tapping his foot impatiently. He glanced down the hallway. He hadn't come with guards, which may not have been the smartest idea, but he knew he'd be safe as soon as he was inside the apartment. 

The door opened. Jonghyun was standing in its place, his hair still tousled from sleep. 

"Hey," He said, stepping back to let Kibum inside. 

"Hey." Kibum came in, slipping off his shoes and jacket. 

He heard the door close behind him, and moments later there were arms around his waist. He turned around, leaning down to kiss Jonghyun on the lips. When they broke apart, Jonghyun cupped Kibum's face in his hands, looking earnestly into his eyes. 

"Key, what's wrong?"

"What? Nothing's wrong." 

"Come on, don't lie like that. You're all tense. You're usually much more relaxed. I know your body, remember?" Jonghyun winked.

Kibum gently pushed him away, taking a step back. 

"Oh shut up," He cracked a smile. "You're gross. But fine, you've got me. It's just tonight's whole situation..."

"With the boss?" 

Kibum nodded. 

"I'm surprised you found out tonight. I figured most of the organization would find out in the morning." 

"Nope. Apparently everyone was informed about it tonight, all the way down to the newest members." 

"Weird. Well, I'm glad you texted me." Kibum reached for Jonghyun's hand, taking it in his own. 

"Of course. I was just hoping you weren't super busy doing whatever it is that you do as the all-important right hand man."

"There really wasn't much to do, honestly," Kibum paused, yawning. "God, I'm tired." 

"You should get some sleep. You can stay over if you want. I don't mind." 

Kibum just nodded in response. Jonghyun began to lead him out of the entryway. 

"Come on," He tugged on Kibum's hand. "Let's get you to bed."

Kibum followed Jonghyun to the bedroom, feeling himself relax as he walked through the apartment that was starting to become more and more familiar to him. Jonghyun's hand was warm in his own, and he closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to savor the feeling. Jonghyun stopped walking.

"Key?"

Kibum opened his eyes. 

"Yeah?"

"What're you doing?"

"Oh, um," Kibum suddenly felt shy. "I'm just enjoying being here, is all. It's nice." 

Jonghyun looked vaguely bewildered, though he smiled at Kibum's words.

"Okay."

"Ah... I'm really tired, I don't know what I'm saying. Ignore that." Kibum cringed internally. He had no idea what he was saying or doing, right? He was just tired, that's why he'd said something weird. Yes, that was it.

"Okay..." Jonghyun's hands moved to Kibum's shirt collar, pulling at the first button. 

Kibum's breath caught in his throat as Jonghyun's hands moved further downwards, exposing his chest. Jonghyun looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. 

"What?"

"Nothing," Kibum shook his head. "Let me help you with that." He pushed Jonghyun's hands away and finished ing his shirt, sliding it off and dropping it on the floor. 

Jonghyun's hands were on his shoulders now, and the shorter man was eyeing Kibum's chest with obvious lust. Kibum sighed. 

"I'm sorry, Jonghyun. I'm too tired tonight."

Jonghyun blinked, his attention turning to Kibum's face. 

"Oh. That's okay. Get some rest." He said. He was still for a moment, then moved in closer and hesitantly placed a quick kiss on Kibum's lips.

Kibum stepped back from the shorter man and finished undressing. He stood frozen, studying Jonghyun curiously, who was looking back at him with an unfamiliar expression. To Kibum it almost looked... affectionate?

No, that wasn't it. At this point, they were obviously fond of each other in some way or another, and neither tried to hide it. So what was this expression, then? Why had the soft light in Jonghyun's eyes gone unusually bright? Why did he suddenly look so open--almost vulnerable--in front of Kibum?

And then the moment was over. Jonghyun turned away from Kibum, walking towards the bedroom door. Kibum almost wanted to call after him, ask him what had just happened, and where he was going now, but he kept his mouth shut. Perhaps it was best not to ask. He shook his head. Surely he'd misunderstood something, or his mind was just playing tricks on him. He was tired, that was all, right? He'd forget all about that strange moment by the time he woke up. 

He slipped into his side of Jonghyun's bed, sighing contentedly as he lay down. Jonghyun's bed was so much softer than his own, and Kibum noted that he should ask Jonghyun what mattress he used. Every time he was here he had the same thought, but he never actually remembered to ask. He'd probably forget this time too. 

Jonghyun came back into the room, holding a glass of water. Kibum watched him through half closed eyes as he turned off the lights. The room was submerged in darkness. Kibum could no longer see Jonghyun, but seconds later he heard the soft clink of a glass being set down and felt the bed sheets pull slightly. Jonghyun shifted around for a few moments, and then was still. Kibum wished he'd move closer: maybe press up against him or put an arm around his waist, but he knew that'd never happen. They weren't intimate like that, despite the ever-increasing number of times they'd slept with each other. 

But why did Kibum even want that? There was no real reason; yes, Kibum liked Jonghyun, but not that much. At least, he didn't think so. To him Jonghyun was just a friend...kind of. Not really, though. Jonghyun was more of a -buddy than anything, he supposed. They weren't quite friends, or anything more. They just got intimate from time to time. So why, upon coming to this conclusion, did Kibum feel so sad? Deep down, he knew that he wanted to be something more. 

He rolled onto his side, squinting through the darkness at the form of the man next to him. He needed to know how Jonghyun felt.

"Jonghyun? You still awake?"

"Yeah."

"I-I..." Kibum couldn't bring himself to ask. He was utterly terrified of what the answer might be. "I can't sleep."

"It hasn't even been five minutes, Key." Jonghyun rolled over, facing him. "Give yourself some time." 

"But-"

"-Key." Jonghyun sighed. "You've been acting weird since you got here. Are you okay?"

Kibum took a moment to answer. 

"No." He finally responded.

"Okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Then tell me what I should do." 

"What? What do you mean?"

"Tell me what I should do to help you feel better or whatever, I don't know." 

"Jonghyun, I don't know if there's anything you can do." Kibum couldn't help but to think that Jonghyun had started to sound irritated. The last thing he wanted right now was to annoy him. God, what was he even doing there? It was four AM. He should've just gone home. "Maybe... maybe I should go." 

Kibum started to sit up. Then there was a hand on his. He froze. 

"Don't go." The sheets rustled, and through the darkness Kibum could see Jonghyun sitting up. "I'm sorry. I just don't like feeling useless. Please don't go." 

Kibum's mouth went dry, and he found himself struggling to speak. 

"O-okay. I'll stay." He laid back down. 

It was moments like this when he felt the most confused about his relationship with Jonghyun, when it seemed like they could be something more--or possibly--already were. In most...situations like theirs, wasn't there usually less of an emotional connection? Not that Kibum felt any sort of connection to Jonghyun, of course, but he wanted one. And he had to admit, sometimes--very rarely, on nights like this one--he felt just the slightest, tiniest bit of a connection to the other man. But that was irrelevant, right? It was just because he was tired and stressed. Besides, it would be stupid to have feelings for someone who was as much of his subordinate in their organisation as Jonghyun, right? 

Kibum sighed. He should just go to sleep.

Jonghyun's arm circled his waist, drawing Kibum back against his chest. Kibum found himself too shocked to move, unsure of what to do. Out of all the times they'd slept together before, Jonghyun had never done this. But perhaps...it wasn't so bad. Perhaps, he actually kind of liked it. Maybe. He relaxed, letting Jonghyun hold him. 

"Goodnight, Key." Jonghyun said, his voice muffled. 

"Goodnight."

Being held was somewhat nice, but now Kibum would never fall asleep. 

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A/N

Hello!

Sorry that this chapter took me literal MONTHS to publish, but I went back to school and I've just been super busy because it's my senior year and I've been applying to universities and all that so... yeah. Finally, the next chapter is here, and hopefully the next one will be out much faster. 

Anyway, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! <3

-H