sowon POV

"are you crazy?!!! "i shouted at her as i let go of her hand.. She leans her back against the wall to support herself.. 

im so ing mad right now!!  i want to ing kill that guy for looking at her!! but mostly im ing mad at myself for proving to her that i still care!! 

"i-im sorry " she said as she look straight in my eyes but i immediately avoided her gaze because i dont want her to see how mad i am right now.. 

"sorry?? just sorry?  its that all you can say?? why did you do that? why??  just to prove that i still care for you??  just to make my friends see how idiot i am? or just to show them how weak i am when it comes to you?!! why did you have to in do that??!!! damn it!! " i said and i can feel my hands tremble in anger. 

"d-don't curse "i heard her say softly "you hate foul words before " 

i turned my head to look at her and smirk "if you didn't notice , I'm not the same sowon you'd met before" 

she look down on her feet "because of me " she mumbles

"no " she bring her gaze at me with a questioning look "it's because i'd gone thru alot when you left me that made me lost myself in the process. "

"but I'm the one who hurt you "

"it doesn't matter anymore"

"w-what can i do to make it up to you? i came back here for you " she said as she look at me in the eyes. 

i avoided her gaze. I can't look at her in the eyes. I dont want to break down in front of her. i dont want her to see how up i am since she left me. but i can't deny to myself how much i still care - no i can't deny it anymore. 

"tell me why did you came back? " i asked hoping to get the answer that i wanted. 

"i told you,  i came back here for you. I miss you. I'm still missing you. I want to see you again " she said andi shake my head slowly when i didn't  get to hear the answer i'm expecting. 

"that's all?? " 

i heard her sighed " i want to appologize for what i did-for hurting you. im sorry " 

"its that all you can say??  aside from sorrry don't you have anything else to say?? " i said in an annoyed tone. 

something much important than your sorry  i wanted to add but i stop myself. 

I muster all the courage to look at her face. She's looking at me with a confused look and i can feel my heart shattered just because of that look she's giving me. 

I didn't say anything, i just stare at her. 

She got more prettier 

this is the first time i got the chance to look at her face more than 1second. I did everything to avoid looking at her since she came back because I'm afraid that the ice that i'd created to hide all the pain i am feeling might melt. and i'm right with just one look from her it melted. 

but i can't deny that i still care for her.She's still the one i am wishing to be with. I still want her. After all these time. After all the pain. 

I'm still inlove with her. 

and i think i will be forever inlove with her. 

I shake my head in dissapointment 

"i -i can tell you now the reason why'd left you . o-only if you still need my explanation" she said in a tone like she's begging me to say yes.. 

but that's not what i need right now.. 

"of course i still need your explanation " i said and i saw hopes in her eyes"but that's not what i am waiting for you to say.. you can explain it to me tommorow or the day after tommorow or next month..  well unless you have a plan to leave me again then in that cas-"

"ofcourse not!!! "she shouted but she immediately look down after "i wont leave you again i promise"

"dont give me a promise that you can't  keep. you promised before that you would never hurt me- look what you did. " i said with a hint of bitterness in my tone. 

"i-m sorr-"

"stop saying sorry!! damt it !!" i snap. 

she bit her lips as she look away "can you just tell me what you want me to say?.  i'm not a mind reader kim sojung. you know how bad i am in this" she said without looking at me, but i can say that she's now holding her tears .

i bit my own lips as i feel my heart shattered into pieces for the second time. The pain in my chest came back and i can feel something blocking on my throat. I want her to figure it out herself. I want her to tell me those words that i am craving to hear from her not because i demanded but because she also want to tell it to me. 

She said she came back for me. She said that I'm the reason why she's here again. She's begging me to give her a chance to explain everythig. She said she missed me. But what is the meaning of all that? 

i can't believe that she can't  even remember to tell me those words- words that i am hoping to hear from her.. 

i don't need her explanation. I'll be a little dissapointed, but she can choose not to tell me the reasons and i'll still accept her -that's how crazy i am for her. I need her.  I want her. All i want is to be with her even if it means i have to forget all the pain she caused me. 

I don't need her sorry.. all i need for her is to tell me..  to tell me.. 

i sighed

 "maybe you're  just here to give us both a proper closure and a peace of mind " i sadly said as i look down on my feet and shake my head slowly. 

"no.. no.. sowon no "i heard her say with sadness

tears started falling down to my cheeks as i cry - i failed to hold anymore. 

how can she be this insensitive?? 

how can she hurt me like this?? 

why am i letting her to hurt me again and again?. 

i unconsciously close my eyes as i felt her warm hands cupped my cheeks. 

She lift my head to look at her but i look everywhere except to her eyes 

"kim sojung look at me " she demanded "i said look into my eyes "

i force myself to look into her eyes. She's wiping my tears with her thumb and i can't  stop my heart to jump. I've missed this. I've missed her. 

i can see pain and longing in her eyes but i refuse to believe it.i dont want to lift my hope so high"stop crying kim sojung. I'm sorry" 

"i can't believe how insensitive are you "i said between my sobs "why are you doing this?.. you're hurting me again " she open but no words came out "you dont know how much i've miss you . I almost die the time you left me. I suffered alot but you don't need to say sorry a hundred times because i can forgive you even without it because that's how much i love you. but there's these words that i need to hear from you to wash away all the pain you gave " i said as the tears kept rolling down my cheeks. 

"what is it? " she begged. 

"you must know it eunha" i can't conceal the pain i am feeling anymore. I hid it for two years but i can't hide it any longer - not when i can feel her warmth agains my cheeks again after two horrible years.i avoided her eyes" all i wanted is for you to tell me..  t-to t-tell me...."

"i love you " i froze when those words that i am praying to hear from her for two years slipped on her lips. 

i bring my gaze back at her "i love you kim sojung" she said with full of emotions

"h-how dare you forget that??  you dont know how much i'd prayed to hear that again from you "i said between my sobs. 

she let go of my face before she encircled her arms arround my waist "i thought you already knew. I love you kim sojung. please forgive me for what i've done. This time i wont let anyone take me away from  you again -not your friends,  not your family, not even you kim sojung "

.......