yerin pov

"so who wants to jam with us ?" 

 

The vocalist of the band ask

and everyone looks at me when i raise my hand ...

we are at the bar celebrating yewons birthday, but actually the real reason why i agree to yuju to came here is to see the love of my life and to impress her ..

i stand up and walk to the stage ..

"woah such a beautiful lady we have here.. what's your name miss ?"

"yerin .. " i said as i flash my sweetest smile ..

i saw yuju and yewon cheering for me .

sojung are already sleeping at the couch -she's tottally drunk .. i smile when i saw eunha beside her , seems like she doesnt know what is happening because she's too busy staring at my bestfriend huh .. 

ugghh if she still love her then why did she left her ??? 

i shook my head before looking at the person who's invading my mind and heart everyday ...

she's sitting at the couch comfortably ..

how can she manage to be that beautiful ??

she looks like a demigod wearing a poker face hehe ..

she's almost perfect except to the fact that she's taken tsk tsk ..

yes! she's already taken by mr.monkey a.k.a Jackson ..

they're together for almost a year now but i dont care -i still love her ..

i'll do everything just to have her ..

she's the reason why i changed myself and why i came back from australia after 4 years ..

so i wont give up easily, because i know we are meant to be ..

sinb is mine ..

our eye's met so i gave her a wink ,but she just her eyebrows at me ..

she's always like that everyday, so im used to it already ..

she's cold -only to me ' because she find me annoying ..

i always , i always tell her i like her even though she rejected me alot of times ..

she always  say that im irritating , she never get tired to tell me to get lost ..

but i just shrugged all of it ,because i feel that deep down of her -she also likes me ..

or maybe im just assuming that ..

but who cares?..

i still love her ..

"alot of men and women here are very interested to know something - right guys ?" he ask the people  and they cheer so loud

i think i know what ganno be his next question ..

" are you single or taken ?" 

"im single ' but im already inlove with someone " i said confidently , i saw sinb shakes her head ..

"woah sorry guys her heart is already taken .. so miss yerin tell us what song you want to sing " the vocalist said

"grilfriend by avryl lavigne" I answered

"girlfriend ? woah so are you dedicating this song to that lucky guy ?" he asks but i shook my head  as i look at eunbi's direction, and saw that she's already giving me a death glare .

i just shrugged and smiled at her, but she just roll her eyes..

i think i need to buy her tons of ice cream so she will learn how to be sweet sometimes ..

maybe next time hehe ..

"not a guy .. but to the beautiful lady sitting over there" i corrected as i point at eunbi's direction, and everyone looks at her ..

she immediately look down as i point her- but i know she's blushing hard ..

where's your confident now miss hwang ?? haha

 

"listen very well miss hwang eunbi .. because i think. WE .SHOULD .GET. TOGETHER. NOW " i said as the band started to play the strument ..

i saw her lifts her head and met my eyes ..

i smirk at her but she just kept looking at me  with a straight face.

when will you stop giving me that kind of expression? you look so hot with your cold expression .. but i am wondering what it feels like to get a sweet smile from you?

Hey, hey
You, you
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey
You, you
I could be your girlfriend
Hey, hey
You, you
I know that you like me
No way, no way
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey
You, you
I want to be your girlfriend

 

i'm flicking my fingers while singing the song .. i heard everyone screaming like they are getting hype by the song .. i saw yewon nudging eunbi-obviously teasing her , but eunbi ignore her ..

 ..this song tells everything that i want to say ..

You're so fine
I want you mine
You're so delicious
I think about you all the time
You're so addictive
Don't you know what I can do
To make you feel all right?

 

yes ' i want her mine - only mine.

i fell inlove with her the first time i saw her . i still remember it clearly - she's famous in our school back then - just like sowon unnie. i can hear her name anywhere i go. she's talk of the town . she's really cool and sweet- thats how they described her.But the first day that i got mesmerize by her beauty is when i saw her sitting at the bench while looking at the sky , she looks so peaceful - i cant take my eyes off her that time because of her beauty ,untill her friend yewon called her .

Since that day she became my obsession. I was like an addict and she was my drug . i kept looking at her from a far because i dont have enough courage to talk to her.

Im still a no one that time . Im just a boring nerd and she was a goddess .

I am rich -and that's a fact -but i choose to hide my identity because i dont want others to treat me differently . I dont want them to come to me just because im rich and also - i dont like attention . i continue to be her stalker/admirer- untill one day my parents asks me to come with them in australia to finish my high school there .  i promised to myself that when i come back i will make her mine . 

i changed myself when i was in australia. i changed my style of clothing , i even changed my attitude. i became more confident . i did changed everything about myself just to be perfect for her. 

when i came back, i enter the same college as her . i became instant famous in the campus because of my beauty and my background. I knew that she's already in a relationship that time because sowon unnie told me- but i dont care - no one can stop me .

 

Don't pretend
I think you know
I'm damn precious
And, hell yeah
I'm the motherin' princess
I can tell you like me too
And you know I'm right

 

i saw her expression when she saw me that time. i dont know if she knew me but with her reaction - i think she do . I start pestering her . (well ,thats not really my intention but i want to get her attention) - i want her to notice me  . i also remember how her eye's widens when i shout at the coridor One time  saying " hey ! you miss hwang ! i like you and i will make you mine - dont forget that !" ... all of the students in the coridor screamed as they cheered for me but she replied "im taken ! move on already miss jung because i will never be yours "  i just shrugged and told her " i dont care " while smirking ,before i turn my back and walk away .

taken my .. i dont care about your monkey boyfriend .. you will be mine sooner or later -  thats what i said to myself while walking awaY

Hes like so, whatever

You could do so much better

I think we should get together now
(And that's what everyone's talkin' about)

 

i dont know what she likes about mr. monkey . he doesnt desserves her-yeah hes handsome and popular but he still doesnt desserves her.

i still remember when eunbi cried because of him.I am following eunbi that time -she's going home and im sending her home without her knowing it . its kinda creepy yeah ! i feel like im a stalker but hey i just want to make sure that she's safe..

then i heard her talking to someone over the phone- Its jackson. I heard that its their monthsarry that day but jackson forgotten . i saw eunbi cried because of that . it hurts me to see her silently crying because of that stupid monkey . you stupid monkey ! why did you make her cry ? she desserve the world -you idiot thats the exact word that i kept mumbling while following her . i want to wipe her tears , i want to comfort her , i want to tell her to leave that idiot and be with me instead - but i know i cant just do that because i might annoy her with just my mere presence .. 

Hey, hey
You, you
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey
You, you
I could be your girlfriend
Hey, hey
You, you
I know that you like me
No way, no way
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey
You, you
I want to be your girlfriend

 

i sung the chorus as the crowd screams louder.. i smirk, do finger heart , wink , and point at eunbi  as i sing ... i knew she like me too- i can feel it or maybe im just assuming ,but i know she will feel the same sooner .. i look at her intently as i sing the next line ' good thing she is looking at me too

 

I can see the way
I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away
I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time
Again and again

 

i went down the stage while singing without breaking our eye contact.

i think im going to melt with her stare ..

yah the reason why i assumed that she also like  me, because of that same stare that she's giving to me now - like she want to tell me something but she cant , like there is alot of things about me that is running inside her mind- she rarely look at me in the eyes but when she does' it felt like she's reading my soul..

i heard that when i am not around ,sinb is lowkey looking for me. i heard that to yewon when she teased eunbi about it, but she immediately shut when eunbi gave her a death glare ..

why cant you just admit that you like me too eunbi-yah ?..   leave him for me -i know i can treat you much better ' and ill do everything for you if you say you'll do ..

 

 

So come over here
And tell me what I wanna hear
Better yet, make your BOYFRIEND disappear
I don't wanna hear you say his name ever again (and again and again)

 

our seat is quite far from the stage and i am walking a little bit slow.

i emphasize the word boyfriend for her to feel that i really mean it ..  i want her to leave her boyfriend not only because i want her to be mine but also because i know he's not treating her the way she desserve to be treated. Alot of times that i saw her cried or sad because of him . i know jackson -he's from the other school but i never yet saw them together and actually i dont know what will be my reaction if i see them all lovey dovey infront of me. 

i feel jealous whenever she mention his name . whenever she say "im taken and jackson is my boyfriend so get lost " to me - i just shrugged it off then i reply " i dont care i still like you " though deep inside im hurt . but sometimes i feel that shes not saying that just to remind me that shes taken- but more of to remind herself . 

i also saw how worried she is when i accidentally sprained my unkle. even though she tried hard to hide that she's worried- but her eyes cant hide it. i know she feel something for me and i can feel it .

i stop infront of her . shes sitting at the couch while avoiding my gaze. i bent forward slowly putting my hand at the back rest of the couch .. she look up to meet my gaze - i saw nervousnes in her eyes but she didnt dare to look away . i smile at her and go closer untill our face is just inches away . then i whisper to her the next line .

Cause he's like so, whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
(And that's what everyone's talkin' about)

 

then i lift myself up before giving her a wink ..

why settle your self in that ? you are more than this  eunbi-yah , if you're just afraid to be alone then be with me , give me a chance.

 

we have alot of shippers in our campus , everyone said that we look good together , everyone wants us to be together ...

we are perfect for each other

we are meant to be 

i can make her happy 

i am the one for her 

 

and everyone knows it ..

everyone .. aside from her ..

i made my way up to the stage again 

as i sing the chorus

 

Hey, hey
You, you
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey
You, you
I could be your girlfriend
Hey, hey
You, you
I know that you like me
No way, no way
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey
You, you
I want to be your girlfriend

 

when i reach the stage -i gave the vocalist a high five then he smile at me -so i wink at him .. i turn around again to face the people at the bar.' i can tell that they are enjoying the song and im happy that im not messing up . i turn my gaze at eunbi again and im confuse when i saw her shooting daggers at me.

what did i do  this time ?

i just smile at her and continue singing ..

 

 

 

i know sooner or later you'll be mine eunbi-yah. cause i know i can make you much happy more than he does .  im not being boastful - im just telling the truth .. i gone through alot just to be perfect for her -so now im confident .. and i didnt did that just to get her ' i did that because i love her and i want to be with her ' i want to give her all the best in this world - i want her . he's stupid for making eunbi cry , for treating her like that , for taking her for granted ,because if i am in his place- i will do everything just to make her feel loved.

when will you realised that i am the one who can make you happy ? when will you consider my feelings? do you really love him that much ? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i take a bow when the song ended ,,

the vocalist thanked me for jumming with them. i went down the stage and go straight to where my friends are.

i sat beside eunbi.

"hey did you enjoyed my performance ?" i ask her 

"no" she simply said but i just smirk 

" i know you do" i said confidently ..

"when will you stop doing this ? .. cant you understand that i have a boyfriend ?" she said in low and monotone voice but i still heard it .. this is the first she talk to me in a serious tone about this ..

"i cant .." i answered with the same tone .. i wnat to tell her how serious i am - and im not just fooling around ..

she look at me with a confuse look so i continue

"i fully understand that you're commited to someone already . but i cant stop myself from doing this . i cant stop myself from showing you how much i cares for you." i honestly said -that only the two of us can hear 

"why?" she ask again as she look straight in my eyes .. i saw confusion in her brown orbs ..

"because i .. i like you - no - i love you already " her eyes widens a bit because of my confession and i choose to continue

" i want to shower you with love and affection that you desserve . im sorry for pestering you and for annoying you before , but that time- thats the fastest way i know to get your attention - because im craving for that.. i want you to realise your worth ,you dont know what i did for you to notice my existence. i cant just sit at the corner while watching you crying because of him . you desserve the world eunbi-yah. you know i wont meddle- if he's only doing it right but he's not .. he's not treating you the way you should be treated .." i explained .. i held her cheeks and carress it .

"the way i should be treated?" she asked like she doesnt know what i am talking about ..

"you should be treated like a queen .. like what i said - you desserve the world.. you should be treated with full of love.. and not someone who's taken for granted " shes looking at me like she's processing everything that im saying ..

"just give me a chance to show you how much i love you .. let me take care of you .. and i promise that i will be by yourside as long as you need me .. i will never let you down .. i dont care if you have a boyfriend or if you cant reciprocate my feelings - just .. just let me love you " i said sincerely - she's looking at me again like shes reading my mind .. 

after a seconds i smile at her but she just kept staring at me ..

i look pass her and saw her boyfriend jackson entering the bar .. i get the tissue at the table and the pen at my bag,  then i scribbled something on the small tissue paper .

when jackson reached our table , he greeted all of us before he sit next to eunbi.

i saw him greet eunbi and about to kiss her lips so i immediately look away .

i turn my gaze on yuna and mouthed where is sowon ? 

because sowon unnie is not in her sit anymore

yuna just shrug then she mouthed

drunk .. eunha send her home 

i nod at her before i turn my look at the lovers sitting beside me , i look at their hands that entertwined to each other . i sighed and stand up

i cant take it anymore .. 

they all look at me 

"im going home now , thanks for inviting me yewon , happy birthday again " i said to yewon and smile then i look at yuna "drive home safe .. and drive yewon home ok ?" i said to her and she just nod " i will ' take care " she said 

i look at eunbi and saw that shes already looking at me with a confuse expression .. i just smile at her and to jackson 

"im going home now ..bye " i said then i bent to act like im fixing and getting my bag. but i slip the tissue at eunbi's hand before i lift myself up to stand  .. i smlie at them and wave my hand mouthing a goodbye .

i saw eunbi reading what i wrote in the tissue in my peripheral view ...then i went out of the bar.

when i reach my car ' i stand there for awhile calming myself  .

it hurts ..

im trying hard to control my feelings when i saw him holding eunbi's hand ...

i felt pain and jealousy ...

im smiling at them but deep inside im shattered ..

i feel insecure..

i wish i am the one holding her hands ..

i wish i am the one who can make her laugh

i wish i am the one who can kiss her ..

i wsih i have the right to be jealous .

i wish i was him ..

 

i am about to enter my car when someone grab my wrist ..

i turn around to see who it is ..

"sinb .." 

shes straing at me .. 

"i.. cant leave him " she suddenly said .. i was confused ,but then i realise what she was saying

"you dont have to leave him ..im fine with it .. just let me be with you .. just let me try  " i answered.. she stare at me for awhile ..

then she lift my hand and put the same tissue i gave her earlier, then close my hand- before she turn her back and walks away without saying anything ..

i just stand there looking at her entering the bar ..

i look down at my hand

i slowly unfolded the tissue 

my heart beat fast and

I Wanted to scream when i read what's written on it ..

theres a question written on it and her answer ..

 

the answer that i didnt expect ..

 

CAN YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND ? <3

..........YES

 

she answered my question with a yes ..

so it means ... she's my girlfriend now  .. 

 

 

maybe .. just maybe .. secret relationship is not that bad ..