They all decided to sleep in one apartment that night. Some of them were huddling in beds while the others were scattered around the living room. Minju was curling in Chaewon’s arms as they slept on the couch, Yujin had invaded Nako’s bed, Chaeyeon offered to share her bed with Hyewon while Yena is sleeping with Yuri on the futon. Baby Wonyoung who was still in deep sleep occupied her bed.

It was almost three in the morning, but Eunbi was wide-awake. She paced around the floor, from the sliding glass door to the kitchen, trying to get her mind off things. She pulled a chair in the kitchen and sat there with a can of beer. She found a few cans of beers inside the fridge, Japanese brands. They probably belongs to Sakura.

She opened the can and took a sip. She’s not much of a drinker, but she needed this. Their hiatus will start tomorrow, and it is probably the last time they are together as 12, until they resume activities.

The leader took another sip, and the emotion started to kick in. She’s actually the sensitive type, and she cries easily but she put up a shell throughout the past few weeks. She can’t falter, she can’t show her weakness, she’s the leader and the members looks up to her. That’s why she’s been really careful about how she looks on the outside. She has to remain calm in front of them. She’s all they got.

But what about herself? She wondered.

She’s been everyone’s crying shoulders ever since the news broke, yet has no one she can goes to, someone to lean on. Well, there is someone.

She glanced over at the closed door of a room at the far right of the apartment. She could see lights peeking out from under the door.

She might still be awake.

She didn’t know what happened next, but there she was knocking on the door. After exactly four knocks, the door was opened.

There she was.

Sakura was standing by the door, wearing a white t-shirt and pink sweatpants, looking straight at her. Eunbi could feel the rush of emotions coming to her all at once, like an avalanche.

“Kkura-ya…” she called.

“Yes unnie,” replied Sakura, gentle.

Eunbi bit her lip, and at the same time, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“I am NOT okay, Kkura-ya…”

Her vision was blurred with tears but she could feel arms wrapped around her, pulling her inside the room and then the door was clicked shut. She pressed her face on Sakura’s chest and hugged her waist tight. The taller girl tightened her arms around her shoulders and they just stood there, holding each other as if it was the last time. Sakura caressed her back, soothing her with her touches and kissed her temples. However, it only made Eunbi cried even harder.

Sakura kept holding Eunbi in her arms as they laid down on the mattress in Sakura’s makeshift room. Eunbi eventually stopped crying after almost half an hour. But she was still clutching tight to Sakura’s waist and nestled her head at the younger girl’s nape. She looked like a baby, Sakura thought. Which was adorable. The younger girl kept caressing her head and her cheeks, wiping away her tears with her fingers until she has calmed down.

They laid there in silence, in the dimly lit room, enjoying each other’s warmth. Eunbi looked up and met Sakura’s eyes. The younger girl smiled at her.

“What is it, baby unnie?”

Eunbi raised an eyebrow, “Baby unnie?”

“You’re like a baby, that’s why. You’re so cute, do you know that?”

Eunbi chuckled, “I just had a meltdown in front of you and you think it’s cute?”

Sakura smiled and nodded.

The older girl sniffed a few times and then she looked at Sakura.

“Thank you, Kkura-ya.”

“For what?”

“For being here with me, even though I pushed you away.”

“It’s okay, I thought you needed some space. But I’m always here for you.”

The leader shifted away and laid on her back, with her eyes staring at the ceiling. Sakura moved closer to her and watched the older girl’s face with one hand supporting her head.

“What if… it’s really the last night for the 12 of us?” Eunbi said suddenly.

Sakura kept silent.

Eunbi continued, “I read a lot of articles today. There were petitions on calling us for disbandment, people just want us gone, you know? They… hate us.”

“If IZ*ONE really disbanded early, what are we going to do?” Eunbi asked.

“Don’t say that, unnie. The company said it’s just a break till everything dies down.”

“Yeah but still, is that for real? What if the petitions reached hundred thousand signatures and our company disbands us? What are going to happen to us?” asked Eunbi, panicked.

Sakura reached forward and touched her cheek to calm her down. Eunbi grabbed her hand and they held hands.

“I can’t debut in another idol group, Kkura-ya. I’m already over the age limit. IZ*ONE is everything to me,” she said with a chuckle.

“But unnie, you look like a baby. You don’t look like you’re 25 at all! Irene is 30 and she’s still in Red Velvet!” Sakura refutes.

Eunbi snorted, “I’m amazed you still managed to include Irene in this conversation.”

Sakura smiled sheepishly, “W-Well, she’s my oshi.”

“Then what about me?”

Sakura’s face turned red, flustered, “You’re my girlfriend! You can’t compare that! It’s different!”

Eunbi chuckled and then moved closer to give Sakura a quick peck on her blabbering mouth. She smiled in content.

Eunbi continued,