Eunbi leaned her head back on the wall and let out a heavy sigh.

She was sitting on a bench outside the dance studio, where IZ*ONE are practicing. She and the other girls were perfecting their moves for the final leg of their Eyes On Me concert in Japan. They were on a quick break after 2 hours’ practice.

The leader closed her eyes as she sat there. There were so many things running into her mind for the past few days and it even caused her to lose sleep. She knows she should be taking care of her health, physically and mentally, but she can’t help it.

She’s tired.

Tired of leading the girls. Tired of being the eldest. Tired of the responsibility.

At times, she even felt tired of Sakura. It’s not that she’s tired of her, she loves her; but she’s tired of feeling guilty whenever they’re together. What they’re doing is against the rules. It’s like committing a sin.

Maybe having a relationship with someone in the same group isn’t a good idea after all.

She let out a heavy sigh, again.

“Hey, why are you sighing like an old lady, unnie?” asked a voice.

Eunbi opened her eyes and saw a girl smiling at her. The smile was crooked, it almost looked like a smirk, as expected from her same company junior, Chaewon. The younger girl took a seat next to Eunbi without being asked.

“Here,” she said.

In her hand was a can of soda.

That brought a smile on the leader’s face.

“Thank you.”

Chaewon opened her can and took a sip, and soon Eunbi opened her own can too. They both sat there quietly for a while, sipping the soda from their cans.

“Spill it unnie,” said Chaewon suddenly.

“Huh?”

“I know there’s something on your mind. I’m offering you an ear and a shoulder now, just spit it out.”

Eunbi chuckled and linked her arm with Chaewon. She put her head on the younger girl’s shoulder. Chaewon who usually acted like she hates affections from Eunbi stay still that day, and let the older girl huddled close to her.

She knows she needs it.

“It’s amazing how things have changed in a year,” Eunbi said suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

Eunbi smiled, “It’s not that long ago we were living in a dorm with Suhyun and Sohee.”

Chaewon smiled too, “Feeling sentimental, are we?”

“Do you remember those days when we were practicing at Woolim practice room?” asked Eunbi.

Chaewon nods, “Of course I do. We were training almost every day though we didn’t debut yet. It’s where we spent most of our time.”

“It was hard, but it was bearable because you were there with us,” she added, glancing at Eunbi.

Eunbi smiled and leaned her back against the wall again. She let go of Chaewon’s arm.

“Back then, we never thought that our life would turn out like this. We were promised debut, but it kept being pushed back. I moved from one agency to another, I thought I would never debut… I mean one more time.”

Sensing Eunbi’s sad tone, Chaewon quickly patted her shoulder.

“But you did debut unnie! You’re an IZ*ONE leader now! And tomorrow we’ll be performing at Saitama Super Arena! That’s a lot of people, and they all love us!”

Eunbi bit her lip and sighed, “I know right. I shouldn’t complain.”

“We both reached our dreams, we both get to debut and do these things that people could only dream of. We’re selling more than 1 million albums, we’re travelling the world, we’re selling out arenas-

Suddenly she paused.

“What’s wrong?” asked Chaewon, concerned.

Eunbi looked down and bit her lip.

“We had nothing before, and then suddenly have so much in a blink of an eye…”

She adds, “It’s scary. There’s so much to lose…”

Chaewon sighed, “Is this about 2021? I swear you’ve been spending too much time with Kkura-unnie, and now you’re turning sappy like her too.”

Eunbi blinked a few times, “Sakura…”

“Let’s just live in the moment, unnie. We don’t even know what will happen after 2021, we could only work hard in the present. Let’s just focus on that. The remaining time.”

The two girls looked at each other without saying anything.

“What if we don’t even have the remaining time?”

“What if I screw up as a leader and drag the whole group down?”

“Unnie, why are you acting like this? It’s only a few days till your birthday-

“What if people finds out about me and Sakura or you and Minju?”

Chaewon gulped.

“T-They’re not gonna find out-

“The managers already find out about you and Minju, luckily it’s just them. What if the photos leaked to public?”

The younger girl bit her lip.

Eunbi looked into the younger girl’s eyes, her gaze serious.

“We have to do this.”

Chaewon shook her head, “U-Unnie, please no…”

“Chaewon-ah, we have to break up with them.”

The younger girl looked away, trying not to cry, “I can’t. I love her.”

“We have to.”

Chaewon scoffed, “Well, can you? Can you break up with Sakura?”

Eunbi didn’t answer that.

**

The girls finished their final Eyes on Me Concert in Saitama Super Arena. They held hands and bowed one last time to the adoring fans before retreated backstage. Eunbi called them for a group hug and cheers.

Eunbi looked at the members, who were huddling with each other and some of them even cried. Yuri was hugging Yena and cried. The kids are sometimes emotional. Half of them already rushed backstage to meet up with their families.

“We did it,” said Sakura.

Eunbi turned to look at the Japanese girl, who was standing beside her. She grabbed the leader’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“We finished a tour. Can you even believe it?”

Eunbi chuckled, “Thanks Kkura. We could never do this without you.”

“Hey, right back at you. This is a team effort. We would never have pulled this off without our best leader.”

The older girl opened her arms and wrapped it around the younger girl, hugging her tight. Sakura grinned as she returned the hug.

They walked hand in hand towards backstage.

“Oh look, it’s the world idol, my best friend, Miyawaki!” shrieked Murashige, or Shige, Sakura’s best friend.

They were soon greeted by a group of Sakura’s friends, and Eunbi let go of Sakura’s hand immediately.

“You look so great on stage! So y, Miyawaki! I am proud to call you my best friend!” said Shige, pulling her friend into her arms.

“You think I’m y?”

“You’re too thin but still y, I guess. Rumor, rumor, rumor! Ayayaya!”

Eunbi let her caught up with her friends while she walked towards her family. Her parents and brother flew from Korea for the final concert. Her mother hugged her tightly while her father can’t stop smiling, as his eyes were glistening. Her brother was slapping her arms, telling her how proud he is to be her sibling. The Kwon family were staying for 3 days, and they were sightseeing Japan with the other member’s family. Their families keep in touch and travel together, like a little club of their own. IZ*Parents.

“Eunbi unnie!” called Nako.

Eunbi saw the petite girl coming towards her and grabbed her hand.

“Unnie, there’s someone I want to introduce you to,” she said, excited.

“Oh, who?”

“Someone I respect a lot, just like you.”

**

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Eunbi-chan. I heard a lot about you,” said Sashihara, or Sasshi.

“Ah, yes. Sasshi, I heard a lot about you too,” Eunbi replied as they were shaking hands.

Sasshi was the mentor to both Sakura and Nako for years, she practically watched them grow up in front of her eyes.

The Japanese put her arm around Nako and pulled her close.

“Nako keep praising you, she said you’re the best leader IZ*ONE could ever have. I’m glad that I’m finally able to talk to you like this,” she said.

Eunbi only understood half her words but she smiled anyway.

“I’m not that great. You are their senpai, Sasshi!” she said with a chuckle.

“Don’t be too modest, Eunbi-chan. I’m just glad that you’re the one taking care of Nako and Sakura. Sakura, though she’s older, I wouldn’t rely on her too much. She plays games too much.”

Eunbi chuckled, and replied with her limited Japanese, “Saku-chan isn’t bad. She helped me a lot. Especially in Japan. We talked a lot. She’s… amazing.”

“She is, right? Sometimes she’s more mature than me. She’s actually hard to get close to, I’m glad she’s opening