https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1HxuDjWmE8

Well, I listen to this song multiple times and somehow this song make me come up with this imagination but when I describe the male K-pop character and I hope I did great.

p.s. I have no idea how to end this so I'm sorry if it's not up to expectation because I did my research on it quite hastily so, yeah. Enjoy.

---

Have you ever felt how it feels like when you're losing  someone you love? It's too painful to handle this pang of emptiness. 

That is how you feel ever since then and even till now, it is already past six months since you lost the love of your life. You never thought it will happen to him because he didn't deserve that kind of death.

Tears wetting your cheeks again when you are reminiscing every moment you had with him. He looks so happy, and the person that always think of other people first than himself. You keep thinking about why he is the one that must go first?

Why would God decide to choose someone that never has intention to do bad things in life, always helping people and especially you when you need help?

"Y/N, I know you miss him so much. I miss him too honey. Don't grieve on him too much or he won't be resting in peace, dear." Your mother said while hugging you from behind. Your mother understands what you are feeling right now because she also experienced the same thing, losing a beloved husband, your lovely father but you're not strong enough like your mother. She's a strong-willed person and has a strong heart to overcome sadness in life. You're not like her, you feel lifeless without him because he's the light in your life and now he's gone, your life has fallen into the darkness again. Your mother has been whispering sweet nothing to you.

"Mom, why everyone I love must leave early? You're not going to leave me too, right mom?", You cry again for another time, and you feel your body shaking. Your mother shushed you to calm you down again. He meant everything for you. He even plans to propose you after graduate from university, he planned every happy moment that possibly could happen, but you both forgot that life is not everlasting.

"No, dear. I'll never leave you alone. Trust me, God loves them more, darling. You must stay strong for me, baby. Don't give up on me, on him and on us, Y/N. He doesn't like someone that giving up easily, remember? Come now, honey. Let's sleep together, okay?", Your mother offers you and you just nod weakly. You take your comfort teddy and go to your mother's room. You tell your mother that you'll be taking fresh air at your mother's balcony and bringing your red headphones along. You're taking a deep fresh night breezy air before sitting at one of the chairs at the balcony.

Playing Lee Hi 'Breathe' and closing your eyes while feeling the cool air hitting your smooth skin, giving goose bumps. You don't mind the coolness because weirdly it makes you feel better, soothes your mind for a moment. It even feels like he's caressing you, telling you that he's fine and everything is going to be okay. You take a look at the starry night sky, and tears flow freely again.

"It's funny when you said you will never leave me alone, but you did. What's wrong with you? You even bring my heart along with you; it makes me feel empty, heartless, and lifeless.", You wipe away your tears and sinking into the sea of memoirs.

"Y/N, can you try this first? I feel like there is something missing and I can't tell what it is though." He cooked your favorite meal; spaghetti carbonara. He said he can cook and that is what he did in your kitchen. He's becoming your friend ever since he got transferred.

He is a new student at that time and he's from South Korea moving into your country when both of you are in senior high school. You remember when everyone was murmuring about him; obviously about his look because it's impossible for a guy to look like that. His white bleached hair, sharp jawline, pointy nose, glowing white skin and the obvious one is his whole look, his face. It looks so wrong because nobody looks so handsome like him and his look reminds you of the main character in The Rise of Guardian, Jack Frost. No sign of plastic surgery and he introduced himself in front of the class. All of you got shook because the way he talks opposite with his dark and serious appearance. His personality is just so jubilant, and you instantly fell in love with him.

"Do you remember on your first day of school when you told me that you become speechless as you laid your eyes on me? You even forgot to tell the class your name as you immediately took a seat next to me." You let out hollow laughter as you stared at the full moon. You remembered him being aloof as he keeps following you everywhere you go like a lost puppy. You eventually make friend with him and soon you know that you have develop a lovely warm feeling for him.

"Uh, Y/N. Sorry for keep following you but I have a confession to make." You and him as usual sitting under the tree at the secluded school backyard; weird, isn't it? But both of you decided to have lunch there as it is so serene and peaceful.

"Oh really, what is it?" you try not to make your nervousness look obvious in front of him, but you also can see that he keeps fidgeting; nervous as well. You know that he will act like that when he's nervous. You can feel that your sweats trickling down from your forehead; somehow.

"Y/N, I actually like you ever since I laid my eyes on you. Wait, I know this will sound as cliché as hell but just listen to me and don't ever interrupt me because I only say this once." He takes a deep breath and exhale gently and take both of your hand while staring intently into your eyes.

"Y/N, I like you ever since I entered the classroom for the first time, like hell I feel the attraction as my eyes laid upon you after seeing such a breathtaking beauty that shone brightly than any other girls at that moment. Seeing your big brown eyes staring at me weirdly because of my hairs and probably the way I look, it literally makes my heart skips a beat somehow. I'm so used to the stares of people because of my appearance but got checked by you already makes me believe about the love at first sight. I know that I even forgot to introduce myself because at that time my thought filled with this girl that succeeds in making me realized her existence."  He paused to take another breath but with little difficult.

"I bet you are kind and lovely person and guess what? I was right. You are such a person, in fact, the more I get to know you, the more I fall in love in you." You just listen to his 'indeed cliché' confession and hearing what his first impression of you, make you want to hug him because nobody ever praise you like that.

"Y/N, I want to say this, I truly love you. Will you be my girlfriend?" You never thought it will come to this stage of relationship as you try to decipher the last sentence of his. Everything seems to be out of place as you feel your rapid heartbeat that feels like it's going to leap out of your ribcage.

'He confessed; the new heartthrob just confessed to me. He asked me to be his girlfriend!' You couldn't be happier than accepting his offer with a happy tear streamed down your rosy cheeks; due to embarrassment as he shook you because your soul seems to leave your body.

You suddenly realized that you're still outside because the playlist has turned its genre to hardcore metal. Letting out lifeless chuckle as you thought your stargazing moment has changed to reminiscing moment again. You feel your eyes become droopy because of the excessive tear-jerking moments that happened since this evening. 

You rise from the chair and stretch your numb limbs as it feels sore for sitting too long. You decided to stay a bit longer to feel the chilly night before going to bed and join your mother to dreamland. Every time you remember him, your heart aches even though he's gone. You're still hoping that whenever you're waking up, he's at the kitchen making your favorite breakfast, but you know that it will never happened again. It seems immature to think that he will be back, but reality always bring you back and hit you with the hurtful truth that he is dead; leaving you behind, alone.

'Am I falling in love with you harder, deeper like the darkness of abyss? Because it seems like I can't find the light for me to grasp as I want to go out from drowning in this emotion. It hurts me so bad that I can't even have any efforts to fall in love with someone else because I'm afraid things like this happened again.'

It's already late night when you hear your mother is calling for you. You turn off you iPod and get inside your mother's room with a tinge of void and frustration. You feel useless because you can't do anything with your feelings. You feel like it bounded together with him, and he brought it along. You tuck yourself in bed and get comfortable without much effort.

"Hey, where are you right now? Why are you sounds like dying?" You playfully asked him as you hear his short breath through your phone. He's been gone for a week, telling you that he's going to visit his hometown for a moment. You remembered his sickly pale face. It's different from his usual white glow skin even if he's under the sun even just for a few minutes, a tint of rosy cheek appeared. He also looks skinnier than usual, and you know he's hiding something from you.

"I'm fine, Y/N. How are you, baby? I miss you so much and I hope you're eating well. I wish I was there for you but I'm not capable to do such things.", There's a long pause from him and you tried to understand the meaning of his weird statement.

'Why is he saying this stuff like he's going to die?'

"Baby, are you sure that you are, okay? You sound so exhausted. What has happened?", Panic creeps out as he didn't respond to you but instead you hear the shuffling of stuffs and shouts. You try to calm down even though it seems impossible to do so, but you want to try to pinpoint whatever hustle that happened through the phone.

"Who gave him the phone?! He's dying; his heartbeat rate is getting lower..."

'He's dying...'

You feel like your mind is stop working at that moment as you hear someone said he's dying; like is it him? What is going on? You try to keep a calm composure but with the sudden remark makes your heart beats faster. You hear someone's 'hello' through the other line and replied.

"Hello, who is this?" you try hard to make yourself sounds normal. Keyword: TRY.

"This is Mrs. Lee, and you must be his girlfriend, I assume? If you want to see him, come to the General hospital right now. He's... dying.", You try to get every piece of words from Mrs. Lee told you. You immediately go to the bus stop and hail available taxis that pass by. Luckily, even it is more than 5 minutes; you get into one and tell the driver to drive fast to the hospital since its critical and it's important for you to be there. You've been trying to calm down by telling yourself that it is a lie, something that they joke around, but Mrs. Lee sounds so serious.

Within 10 minutes of uneasiness that keep tugging your heart, finally the hospital view enters within your sight and your heart pumping even faster than ever. You scurried to the counter to ask for his room. After you got his room number, you found yourself standing in front of ICU and you saw the two elderlies that you assume the Lee couple, standing in front of the door and hugging each other; trying to soothe each other. Mrs. Lee sobbing quietly in her husband's hug and even though he looks calm but who knows what is going on in his mind. He realized your presence and come to you together with Mrs. Lee. You never feel nervous like this other than receiving your final exam's result.

"You must be Y/N, isn't it? My son has been telling us a lot about you and he's true about you. You're beautiful and I'm sorry that, this our first meeting." Mr. Lee stops for a moment and take a deep breath and continue, "Y/N, before you can ask anything, I'll tell you everything first, so come with me." You hug Mrs. Lee first before you followed Mr. Lee. He brings you outside and settled down at one of the benches not far from the entrance. The silence is killing you but the façade that Mr. Lee has been putting up in front of his wife has slowly fading and replaced with the tears streaming down his wrinkly cheeks.

"He's a strong kid. We've been doing our best to cure his infection but it's getting worse since doctor said he has pneumonia, hospital required to be exact after thorough check-up. Y/N, doctor diagnosed him with lower respiratory infection and it's supposedly curable if he gets a flu shot every year, but we failed as a parent to realize that he's that sickly.". Mr. Lee uncontrollably crying and without your realization, you also cried and disappointed at the same time.

"No wonder he always complaint to me that he feels tightness in his chest and wheezing. He brushed me off telling me that he has asthma. He didn't even tell me he's pneumonic in the first place." You sensed another presence behind and a firm grip from Mrs. Lee, trying to give assurance to both of us.

"Let's pray that he'll be safe.

Thinking back about his condition every time the class doing physical education made you failed as a girlfriend for not being concern enough about his life, and he also didn't want to tell you anything and keeping it a secret from you.

"Are you the parent of Lee Tae Yong? I'm sorry to say this but your son has passed on." The grave-like silence has been breaking with the parent's grievance.

"Even though we did CPR nearly an hour, but never got the heartbeat back. Once again, I'm sorry for your loss."

Feeling the pillow is wet again causing your mother to wake up, you muttered sorry and snuggled closer to your mother to find slightest comfort and hearing your mother mumbling something and peck your forehead. You seriously need to move on from this feeling because looking at your mother's face already hurting you and remembering the Lee couple's last word before they moved back to their country really makes you feel like a bad person for worrying them.

"I'm sorry for myself and making you guys worry about me this much. Thank you, mom for being here for me."

'Thank you, Mr. Lee, and Mrs. Lee for having a very good son. Thank you, Yongie for giving me the best time of my life.'

'Goodbye, my love'

---

Author's note,

Finally back with another one-shot story. I'm sorry for gone for too long because I finally finish my 4th semester and getting back on the track with my drafts and here comes another one. Thank you for picking this story ^^