Sooyoung:

        She was slightly taken aback the moment that Jungkook asked her out. She had gotten to know him two weeks before the start of the semester because of Jimin. He was very open about his admiration for her—so in a sense this wasn’t new to her. What was new was how he was actually able to ask her out. Majority of the time Taehyung would intervene and not even allow him to talk to her. Let alone flirt. Yet there Jungkook was in front of her—flirting.

“What do you say Sooyoung, I mean Joy? My birthday is the first and yours in the third. We should just celebrate it together. Yeah?”

She regretted how the first thing she did was look to Taehyung as if expecting to see him glaring at Jungkook and stopping the plans altogether. Instead, she saw how he was not paying attention and looking out the window. She turned her consideration and saw as Bae Joohyun was walking past. Seconds later—Taehyung ran out. It was odd. The sudden want to cry.

“Taehyung, where are you going?” she heard Hoseok yelling out.

Sooyoung bit her lip before smiling brightly and nodded a yes to Jungkook. He smiled—his nose scrunching up in a cute way. She was positive that he didn’t realize her birthday was two weeks away and so their date was technically two weeks away.

“I’d love to Jungkook. Hoseok,” she turned to her friend who just blinked in her direction with his happy smile, blinking. “I seem to have plans for my birthday so, don’t plan any surprises like you usually do. I have a date with Jungkook.”

Sooyoung knew the look Hoseok was giving her. She knew it all too well and no matter how hard she had tried to move on past that time in her life—she hadn’t. She was still there. It was still very much part of her. Maybe it had been her pleading eyes but Hoseok said nothing—only shook his head before shrugging and saying a simple: “Sure.”

“Oh damn. I have to go Joy. I’m meeting my chemistry partner today. We don’t really get along that well but she’s smart and I need help. I’m bummed we aren’t partnered but at least I’ll get a good grade. If I didn’t have to go, I’d talk to you more.” Jungkook pouted as she gathered his things.

“I understand. Tell her hi for me. I don’t know her, but she seems cute.”

“Nah, she’s a midget and kind of scary.”

She waved bye to Jungkook, sighing as he went. He did remind her that she needed to contact Daniel about when they would meet up for their chemistry assignments and labs that they needed to complete outside of class. She leaned over the counter and wiped aimlessly. It hurt—a lot more than she had hoped, it did after all these years.

⇤〜⑉⑅﹎⑅〜⑉⇥

Taehyung would usually walk her home after work. They would catch up and make plans to see future movies during that time or he would share his latest new musical finds with her. She missed it. Walking back alone wasn’t so bad. Her shift was over by six thirty the latest—so Taehyung wasn’t really needed. He was just her best friend, and she should be happy he found someone he wanted to pursue—again. This time she seemed nicer and not like she was hiding something.

Sooyoung was walking out of the elevator to the floor where her apartment was and froze at seeing someone unexpected. Why was he there? He was a black hole in her existence. She lost a scholarship because of the pain he caused her and having a bad semester for the school year, her sophomore year. Sooyoung blanched but moved forward to her apartment anyway. The reason she hated boys and as to why she just wanted to focus on school—while suppressing her feelings—was standing right in front of her.

“Sun-sungjae, what are you doing here?” she mentally cursed herself for stuttering, seeming like the fool she always tried to hide.

“Long time no see, Sooyoung. How are you?”

Seeing Sungjae outside her door was not something she was ever going to be mentally prepared for. Seeing him brought back everything she wanted to forget. Sungjae was special to her. He had been her first boyfriend and first kiss. He was the first boy to hold her hand and show her how he unconditionally cared for her, no matter what, in more than a sibling and friend kind of way. Sungjae came right on time, when Taehyung was no longer the shoulder she could lean on—not after their fight and how he had read right through her reasoning. She wasn’t wrong, she did feel like his girlfriend was shady, but he had also been right, she had been jealous.

“When did you get back?”

Sungjae chuckled as he pushed himself away from the wall and got closer. “You're as beautiful as ever. You grew well into your body, but you were always exuding appeal. Tell me, do you have guys lining up at your door begging for a date?”

“Sungjae, what are you—” She didn’t like the way he was treating her, reminding her of the pain. Making himself the martyr.

“Oh, that’s right. You wouldn’t know because of your friend Taehyung. Is he still around?”

Sooyoung could feel the tears starting to well up in her eyes. Why was he here? What did he want? Just seeing him hurt her. She had fallen for him and then he left her as if she was nothing.

“Please, don’t do this Sungjae. I planned that when I would see you again, I would greet you with a smile and not have my heartache. You broke my heart."

Sungjae let out a mocking sort of laugh. “I ... broke your heart? You know damn well that you are not as innocent when it comes to our breakup. I loved you. I was ready to give you my all and then I find out that you only agreed to date me because your Mr. Perfect, Kim Taehyung had pushed you aside. I wasn’t the one who kissed someone else while dating someone.”

Sooyoung was in tears by now. He wasn’t wrong, she did start dating him for the wrong reasons, but she fell, fell hard for his gentle manner and kindness he showered her with. They started out friends. He was a replacement friend but not a replacement boyfriend. She and Taehyung were never together. It had been a mistake. Having been there as a friend for Taehyung had been a mistake and it was one, she always regretted because it took her first love away and made her realize what she never wanted to admit to herself, or anyone.

“I—I know I was wrong, but I did fall for you. I loved you too and you took that to your advantage and not only broke me but also left me behind. Not being able to explain myself to you, ever. That kiss was a mistake!”

“I know.” Sungjae paused to step closer to her. He cupped her face, drying her tears. “It wasn’t that you were being a good friend or that Taehyung drunkenly kissed you, it was that you didn’t push him away and kissed back. It let me know you still had feelings for him and perhaps always will.”

She gasped, pushing his hands away from her face. He was wrong. He hadn’t stayed long enough to see as she had indeed pulled away from Taehyung who in his drunken state had kissed her, calling her Jisoo. She had pushed back and slapped him as well as calling him an . Even his drunk self would never think of her. She was always setting herself up for failure. That failure of hope that sent her to heartache.

“I did push back. You just left before you saw everything and then used my feelings against me to humiliate me in front of the entire male population. You used my trust to spread pictures I sent to you for your birthday and then went on to sleep with Jisoo and video call me while doing so. You never gave me the chance to explain!” Sooyoung choked back a sob. Sungjae had taken a step back, startled by her outburst. “I was made a fool and all I could think about was how sorry I was that I had hurt you and how stupid I was! I was stupid! Stupid enough to fall in love with you! I was stupid enough to think Taehyung would ever care for me as I do him! I’m still a senseless because part of me still hopes he’ll look at me one day and fall for me like I did him! But he won’t! He never will! You won Sungjae; you took my he