didn't intend to make this so winter-y but i regret no such thing babeyyy

 

You Feel Like Home

 

 

Yunhyeong looked around the empty apartment. So this is their new place now. With worried eyes, he looked at the pile of boxes and flower pots that Donghyuk dragged up. He came up shortly after, struggling to drag a mattress into their new apartment. 

“Is this all?” he panted, sitting on the plastic-covered mattress. He realized there was almost nothing in the new place. There was some furniture in the kitchen but what they didn't bring from their old places, they didn't have. 

After two years of living on campus or with their friends, both friends decided to get their own place. Close to university, just a little apartment for them both. They didn't even count the boxes they brought up, they took up about half of the main room. There were two other little rooms, their bedrooms. And a kitchen. All very small. Living together seemed like a good idea though. Best friends since middle school, throughout high school, even in university though they attended different ones. They felt like there was nothing that could come in between them. Well, Yunhyeong was a little worried, as every time Donghyuk would look at him a little too long, his heart would skip a beat. Or at least he thought that's what's up, he could have an arrhythmia. 

“I think it's all for today,” he sighed, sitting next to Donghyuk. They've got all their belongings and a mattress. That's it. Yunhyeong wasn't sure whether the other things from his old place would arrive too. “Dude, we've got more plants than furniture,” he laughed, looking at the potted plants and what he'd call teenager trees, all laid out by the wall. The trees weren't big but tall enough to remind him he'll be living in a jungle.

“To be fair, we've got a mattress.”

“There's also like a fridge in the kitchen.”

“I guess that's a win.” Donghyuk stood up, ready to position his precious flowers properly. So they'd get enough light or little light, or be in the correct position according to the yin-yang of flowers. At least Yunhyeong thought that's how they worked. He had a few but they all died. 

“Wow, I already feel like I'm in a rainforest.”

“You know I need them for school,” Donghyuk whined, looking at his friend with a tired look. Sometimes, he thought that having a kid was less trouble than a house full of plants. Well, a house full of kids would be pretty bothersome too. Yunhyeong knew being a botanist was no fun. Sure, it's Donghyuk's life aspiration but flowers can't tell you what's wrong with them. He studied engineering, at least a machine can break down. Or blow up. 

Yunhyeong stood up, wanting to help too. There wasn't much to do with all their stuff though, they had nowhere to put it. “You brought your console?” he asked Donghyuk, digging through a box of cables and neatly organized video games. 

“Yeah, you want to play tonight?”

“Dude, we don't have a TV.”

“, right,” he sighed, carefully placing the last few flowers on the window parapet. Yunhyeong didn't know what they were called, he just knew they had fuzzy leaves and he wasn't allowed to water them. What was there really left to do today?

Yunhyeong dug through the other boxes, trying to set up the internet in the apartment. Bad idea, that should be the last thing he should do. But at least it's something he can figure out. 

He came across a huge blanket and some bedding, throwing it on the now uncovered mattress. He realized that other than that, there was no place to sleep. They'd have to share a 'bed' until they figure their apartment out. 

 

*

“At least we're doing something.” Donghyuk carried a shopping basket in his hand, wondering if the handle's going to rip off under all that weight. He had to grip it with both hands, not expecting to carry that much. 

“What do we have?” Yunhyeong asked, almost yelling from the opposite side of the store, making his way to the candy bars. 

“Literally nothing a sensible adult would buy,” Donghyuk scanned the shopping basket, basically finding just sweets, chips and a few bottles of beer. It will get them through the night. Before he could say anything else, Yunhyeong was back, dropping broccoli into the basket.

“Dude.”

“What? I like broccoli in my salad.”

“A salad. With broccoli and...” Donghyuk paused, digging through the basket. “...And gummy bears?”

Yunhyeong sighed, realizing they can't live off chips, energy drinks and the occasional warm meal like when they were teenagers. “Guess I'll have to redo my eating habits, huh?”

 

*

“So this is it.” Yunhyeong brought the, now cold, beer bottles back into what will be the living room. He sat next to his friend on the mattress, He stepped over the little table lamp they set up near the 'bed', pulling a blanket over their shoulders. 

“We literally haven't started anything and I'm already tired of furnishing this place.”

“I guess we could get used to sleeping in the middle of the living room.”

“What color do you want to paint your room?” Yunhyeong looked around the blindingly white room. He felt like he was in a hospital. He wasn't sure what color he wanted his room to be either. Green? Grey? Blue? What shade, baby blue? Navy blue? He couldn't remember more shades. He didn't even like blue. “Hm?” he looked at his friend who still wasn't responding. 

“Oh, sorry,” Donghyuk shook his head, waking up from his mini nap. “Still trying to pull myself together from last night.”

“I couldn't have been that bad.”

“You kick like you're in Mortal Kombat when you're sleeping.” 

“What if there's a boogeyman around?”

“If someone asks me about the bruises, I'll say you beat me.”

“I'll beat you with my love,” Yunhyeong growled, hanging himself around Donghyuk's neck. 

 

*

Both friends walked around the furniture store, barely dragging themselves through the never-ending aisles. They felt like they were walking in circles, the design of the store forced them to walk through every possible layout of a living room, kitchen, bathroom, hallway, closet and sink they could think of. All they were looking for were some God-damned bedframes. And a mattress, for the start. Good news was, they were only mistaken for newlyweds like nine times.

“Dude, I'm so tired,” Yunhyeong groaned, sitting on the nearest bed. It was soft, a little spring. He could imagine waking up here, he thought as he jumped up and down a little bit. Falling asleep in a real bed after like a week would be great too. And maybe even falling asleep here with Donghyuk.

He couldn't help it. He could manage his thoughts a week before but waking up every morning, somehow tangled up with his best friend wasn't helping. He wasn't even sure if it was a real thing he was feeling. Now he knew, though he tried to deny it. He wasn't feeling anything for Donghyuk, no. He was just so touch-deprived and haven't had a real relationship for such a long time, that's it, he just latched onto the first thing. He wasn't actually falling for him. He'd feel that way about anyone if he woke up in their arms four days out of seven. 

But his mind traced back to what it would be like, waking up on a lazy Saturday morning, next to him. And he could almost feel the soft covers and warm sun before he was brought back by the bed sinking a little beside him. He looked, seeing Donghyuk sitting there. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just so tired of this. Do we even need beds?” 

“We sleep on my old mattress on the floor.”

“Well, it's a minimalist design. That's in right now, no?”

Donghyuk chuckled, jumping up and down on the bed too. He wondered if everyone did that when they sat on a bed. “It is but honestly, I kinda miss sitting on a real bed. And not getting kicked in the shin every other night. That too. You can't even fall off that mattress. Where's the danger, man?”

Both friends left the store, with no bed frame but each with a stuffed toy in their hands. There were a few good ones but they both quickly realized they have to paint the rooms first and there's no place for more boxes at the moment. There's still place for a stuffed polar bear and a shark, though. This furnishing process is taking way longer than they thought. 

Donghyuk suggested they do the painting themselves. It seemed like a good idea until they realized how long it takes and how much work it actually is. A penetrating layer, taping all the edges, painting enough coats to make it look opaque. And they'll have to do two rooms. But, being the frugal college students they were, both were up for the challenge.

 

*

 

Their studies were taking up way more time than they anticipated. Thankfully, Winter break was just around the corner. Yunhyeong opened his eyes into the new morning, looking at the window that spread across the wall, opposite to them. He didn't believe it at first but after a while, he realized it was snowing heavily. Excited like a little kid, he tried to sit up and go look outside, but something was holding him down. 

Someone was holding him down. He woke up as the little spoon again, feeling Donghyuk's arm tightly wrapped around his torso. As much as he tried to stop it, he felt his cheeks get red. It's because the heating is cranked up too high. Of course, it is. As gently as he could, he unwrapped his friend's hand from him, quietly making his way to the window. On his way, he passed a mirror, catching a glimpse of his painted tee. It was originally white, but Donghyuk had a little too much fun when they painted his room, leaving olive green handprints all over his shirt. He could get a new one, but the memories from the last few nights were too precious. He liked the handprints.

Donghyuk's room was all done, it just needed to dry. Then they'll move all the stuff from Yunhyeong's room to the other one and start working on his room. He still wasn't completely sure of the color though. Something fitting for an engineer, he guessed. 

Yunhyeong opened the window, shoveling the snow from the bottom still together, forming a snowball. With no hesitation, he turned around and threw the ball at his sleeping friend who was suddenly wide awake, wiping snow from his chest. He gave Yunhyeong a nasty look before realizing he'd do the same. “You could've thought of a better way to wake me up.” Yunhyeong's heart skipped a beat when he saw 
Donghyuk's grin. He could, but he wasn't sure he'd like that. 

 

*

Yunhyeong was making his way home from his internship. A company that worked closely with his university offered him a paid internship and even though the hours were late, he was glad to have something on the side. He watched as his shoes picked up the fresh snow, immersing himself in the winter fairytale. His cheeks were getting pinched by the cold, thankfully Donghyuk made him take his gloves and scarf, knowing Yunhyeong wouldn't do it on his own. Ever. The scarf smelled like Donghyuk's perfume. He wondered if he knew that. 

Coming to their own little home always filled Yunhyong with joy. It's been maybe a month, maybe a little longer since they've been living together. Slowly but surely, their space was taking after them. Donghyuk brought even more plants, for schoolwork. There was always some device taken apart on the kitchen table and floors, surrounded by papers, that was Yunhyeong's schoolwork. They even brought a TV in, just so they could play video games together. The rooms were taking so much time though, currently, they used them as storage rooms. Not that he was complaining. Yunhyeong got pretty used to their sleeping situation. 

Yunhyeong unlocked the front door, almost getting knocked out by the strong smell of fresh cookies and vanilla. He looked around the dimly lit apartment, noticing Christmas lights hung around the evergreens Donghyuk brought from school. He kicked off his shoes, peeking into the kitchen to find Donghyuk in his own little world. He didn't hear him arrive over the Christmas music, dancing and cutting out little snowmen from the fresh dough. Yunhyeong approached him quietly, placing his bags of groceries on the table. 

“Oh, you're home!” he saw a sweet smile spread across Donghyuk's face when he noticed his flatmate, he set down his spatula and took a sip from his favorite mug. It was a mug from Yunhyeong, it had little kittens on it. He took it upon himself to unwrap his scarf from Yunhyeong and his jacket. 

“I got you a salad,” Yunhyeong giggled, handing his friend a big box from his favorite place. He got himself one too. Ever since there have been no bad influences on him, Donghyuk's veggie obsession jumped on him too. He knew his exact order, he knew to ask for extra arugula and peppers also. Just to see Donghyuk's face light up like a little kid. Just for some veggies.

He thanked him and went in for a hug, slipping his hands under Yunhyeong's coat that was still on. He was taken by surprise. Sure, sometimes Donghyuk would give him a little side hug, or a short one or whatever but this one just felt different. He never felt him this close, his face buried in his sweater. It lasted a second too short for him though, he didn't get the chance to take it all in. 

Donghyuk reached for his mug again, offering some to Yunhyeong too. “Dude, is this eggnog?”

“Yup.”

“Homemade?”

“Homemade as .”

“Oh you sweet soul, you're tipsy off of eggnog.”

“Well it's Christmas in a while, isn't it?”

“I see you dressed up the trees as well,” Yunhyeong finally took off his coat, looking behind him at the trees. Obviously excited to talk about the plants for a bit, Donghyuk grabbed his arm and decided to give him a little tour. 

“And they gave me a white cedar shrub. I don't know why, man. I'm just taking care of it until they ask for it back,” Donghyuk whined, rearranging the lights on the evergreen. “Oh, you little funky e tree.” Yunhyeong couldn't believe his friend managed to put lights and even decorations on those tiny trees. Well, they won't have a big one anyways this year. They agreed on no presents either.

Both friends ended up sitting on the mattress, separated only by a plate of fresh cookies. Yunhyeong asked Donghyuk if he hadn't had enough eggnog already but he argued that he didn't waste six eggs and a whole stick of butter for his drink to go bad. Yunhyeong wondered if he was really going to drink the whole bottle he mixed. He hoped not, seeing Donghyuk stumble into the living room.  “So, dude, what did you like d-do... do in work today,” he hiccuped mid-sentence.  

“I don't have the energy or the crayons to explain that to you,” Yunhyeong groaned, burying his head in the pillows because Donghyuk just wouldn't stop talking.  It's been an hour and four cups later and he still wouldn't shut up. That was, until he did. His friend looked at him suspiciously, taken back by the sudden silence. He looked so pale, staring at the ground before he abruptly stood up, almost falling on his run to the bathroom. 

With a deep sigh, Yunhyeong stood up to get his friend some water. This is going to be a long night, he knew. He knocked on the bathroom door, seeing his friend hugging the toilet. A wave of regret and worry washed over him as he sat on the bathtub beside Donghyuk, his back. “And this, baby, is why we don't let you drink.”

“Why?”

“Because you can't handle anything.”

Donghyuk whined in response, gladly taking the water from his flatmate. “I can!”

“And then you mix it all with a salad and raw dough.”

“Shh,” Donghyuk whispered, stretching his hand to put a finger on Yunhyeong's lips who tried to bite it jokingly but his hand was so shaky, he couldn't. Donghyuk still couldn't sit straight without feeling absolutely nauseous, he found comfort in lying on Yunhyeong's thighs. The only good part was him taking care of his drunk friend. It's been that way since high school. Yunhyeong was always there to his hair and rub his back while he spent the night on the bathroom floor. Funnily enough, Donghyuk never learned his lesson. He rested his forehead on Yunhyeong's leg. “Dude, I like... I love you.”

Yunhyeong's stomach clenched, his hand stopped midway through Donghyuk's hair. He knew he didn't mean it in... in that way “Yeah, yeah me too.”

“You're so lame.”

“Why?”

“You said you loved me,” Donghyuk sang with a grin, poking his finger into Yunhyeong's knee. 

“You said it first, you absolute staircase.”

“Putting absolute in front of a noun doesn't make it an insult, you absolute brick wall... Okay, I'm sorry I called you lame.”

“Thanks.”

“I thought you already knew,” Donghyuk laughed, sliding on the floor when he felt a slight kick from Yunhyeong. He heard him say he seems sober enough and helped him stand up, guiding him to the bed. Donghyuk didn't know what came over him, he stopped mid-way to pull Yunhyeong into a hug. He hit his chest with a thud, surprised by Donghyuk's actions. He could only whisper ‘dude’ before Donghyuk started assuring him he really does love him. And that he's really lucky to have him. “I'm drunk, wow,” Donghyuk chuckled. “Also. I ordered those woodedn- wooden bed frames. I'm going to miss you kicking me every night.”

Yunhyeong couldn't hide the most bitter smile. Deep inside, he knew how he meant those things. He knew they didn't mean anything serious, it was the alcohol talking. He knew he just appreciated him as a friend. They were best friends, after all. Just best friends. 

 

*

Donghyuk packed his things, put on his coat. He wanted to leave the classroom as quickly as he could. He couldn't comprehend how much of a bad day he had. Every class he had just brought his mood lower. It was simply a bad day from the start. He woke up, alone, spilled his coffee, missed the bus, forgot about a test. It all came together as the tiest day. The last straw for him was slipping on ice near the bus stop, missing his bus home too. 

He didn't have the patience to wait for another one, Donghyuk took matters into his own hands, walking home. He wondered whether he should cry now or when he gets home. Home. 

Home.

He had his own home now. It's warm and it's welcoming. It's a place where he can be himself. Play video games with his flatmate. Or tend to his indoor garden. He made his own home with Yunhyeong. 

Yunhyeong.

The thought of him made Donghyuk's heart flutter. He stopped. He didn't notice the butterflies in his stomach when he thought of him until... until now. He started to forget about his bad day. He was wearing his scarf, the one he gave Yunhyeong every day, almost. He wore it so often, it smelled like him now. Donghyuk never noticed. It made him feel warm inside. Speak of the devil, he thought when his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Yunhyeong, telling him dinner's ready. 

Donghyuk pictured Yunhyeong's smile. When he cooked. Or when they talked. It was a pretty smile, he liked to see him smile. He liked to be the reason to see him smile. Or to hear him laugh. He loved to listen when Yunhyeong spoke about his work. Or school. About his latest projects. Even his messy calculations and drawings. 

He suddenly wished to be next to him. To hug him. To have him near, to pull him close. He wished so badly to be home right now.

Home with Yunhyeong. He feels like home.

 

*

 

“Dude, I can't believe it's almost another year.” Yunhyeong looked at the clock. Eleven PM. Just one more hour and it's the next year. Time ran so fast when they were juggling their new home, school, and work. Both rooms were now finished and their flat was slowly starting to look like... well, a flat. They bought bigger blankets and bigger pillows. The bedframes or mattresses haven't arrived yet. They were slowly getting everything to function like regular adults.

“Do we even have anything to celebrate the New Year's eve with?” 

Yunhyeong took it upon himself to find a bottle somewhere in the kitchen. As well as he looked, he could only find a single one. “We have the strawberry wine your mom brought,” he yelled back, looking at the dusty bottle. Blech. He hated wine. Donghyuk hated wine too. But it was the only thing they found, the stores were closed already. Better than nothing. They could go out with their friends, but Yunhyeong found their old high school playlist. It dated back to their freshmen years. That was a great excuse, they were having a throwback night. In reality, they just wanted to spend the night together. They enjoyed each other's company, maybe even a little more than before. 

Yunhyeong failed to notice. But there were more long, tender touches. More little looks. More silly jokes and little smiles. More blushing, more heart flutters. If one were to count all the butterflies in their stomachs, you could fill up a garden. Donghyuk didn't want to push it further. Yunhyeong didn't have the guts to even think about it. 

They clinked their glasses together, skipping over a few songs. Yunhyeong accidentally poured in more than he was supposed to, almost filling up the glasses to the top. “Dude, I don't know how much wine you are supposed to drink.”

“Well, not the whole bottle in two pours, that's for sure.”

They came across one of their songs. Donghyuk couldn't stay sitting down, he put his half-empty glass on the table and broke out into a solo. It was so nice, all the memories that came with the song. All their years of friendship and also hardships. They've been through so much together. Good and bad, funny and sad. Fights and nights out. Lost in the city, late for a train. Skipping school, preparing for dates. Wins, losses. First kisses, first heartbreaks, first everything. He almost didn't believe he went through all of this with Donghyuk. All the moments that shaped him into who he is. And all the moments that shaped Donghyuk. They shared it all.

“Dude, you okay?” Donghyuk stopped, grabbing Yunhyeong by his face. He looked like he was going to cry that very moment. But he just shook his head, giving him the sweetest smile. He couldn't explain. 

“I'm good, man.”

“Come on. It's... oh , it's our song!” Donghyuk beamed as he skipped over a few songs, landing on the specific one. He grabbed Yunhyeong's hands, pulling him up to dance a little. They didn't even notice it was coming close to midnight. It didn't take long for Yunhyeong to get into it, soon they were yelling the words into each other's faces, wondering whether the neighbors will complain. 

Yunhyeong put his arms around his friend's shoulders, swaying them both into the rhythm. Even after the years, he still remembered every note of the song. 

They were both taken out of the moment by the loud bangs outside. And then some more. They looked outside, seeing fireworks in the sky. Both friends were mesmerized like little kids. By all the colors and sparkles. 

“God, I kinda wish I had someone for a New Year's kiss.”

“Well, you should kiss someone.”

“There's no one to kiss.”

“I mean, there's me,” Donghyuk stated, tearing his eyes away from the fireworks, looking back at Yunhyeong. He noticed his arms were still around his neck, he held his sides now. Yunhyeong was taken back but not for long. He really was there to kiss.

So he kissed him.

 

*

 

“Dude, you still haven't stopped kicking like mad,” Donghyuk whined, pulling Yunhyeong even closer. He was glad that once the bedframes arrived, they put them next to each other in one room. It felt like the best idea since they've started living together.

Yunhyeong rolled around, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek. There was nowhere to rush, nowhere to go. It was a lazy Sunday. It was better than he could ever imagine. He never knew that holding him in his arms could feel so right. So warm. 

It felt like home.

He felt like home.

 

 

Thank you all for reading!! Be sure to let me know what you thought/might want to see next! Have a wonderful day!!