I didn't know, or just didn't want to think about my feelings. Not that much for JongIn's nonsense, but maybe yes, yes; because there he was. Once again in my life, he came back with a flourish and what a desire to take such flourish so I could wrap it around his neck and... No. No. No. Not really. I wasn't going to bother nor letting a small and disgusting encounter lead me into paranoia. JongIn didn't attend my new school and I didn't think he really was going to change that just to be able to piss me off. Our hate-hate relationship was never that serious, according to me. We were older already, and he even looked different. His hair was longer and his features hardened in a nice way. He seemed mature... although he already gave a hint of his eternal seven-year-old abusive kid mentality.

Dear Mercury, it was almost funny. Almost.

With my hands in the jacket pockets and my feet at the edge of the sidewalk in front of Kris's house, I couldn't help but laugh at the subject, even though it wasn't amusing. I mean, small city, yes, but him? Not one of his friends, nor, at least, any of my other detractors. I mean, I had a lot of them. In my first year of high school I even made a boy threaten me with a restraining order... But in my defense, he craved for it. He approached me to touch my hair while asking, it ain't natural, right? And it was the tone of his voice, just the tone of his voice, everything I needed to plant his face against my desk. I felt terrible afterwards, and even to date question that it was the right thing to do, but it happened and that was it. As time passes, people can learn from their mistakes.

My inner fighter got less aggressive and hopefully wiser too. But in general, I had fewer quarrels with fewer people until I had none, and I felt ready to start from zero (and with zero mistakes). Then the least pleasant person for me appeared in territories that were supposedly safe.

I took both hands to my face while thinking about what could have happened with JongDae, and that maybe I should have told him something before I left. But surely he will understand, right? And I don't know. If they didn't know each other, and I hoped not, then there would be no need to worry. It would be nothing more than an incident that I could explain later like, Oh, yes, he had a crush on me in elementary school and as I rejected his feelings now he hates me. I used to play with that excuse a lot when JongIn and I were at the same school, at the point of making people believe it was a true fact about me. Besides, of course, that I was intimidating and those things. To be honest, yes, I was kind of violent. 

On the other hand, I wasn't anymore. And I wouldn't be, much less.

"And no, you ain't ugly either," said to myself in a whisper, smiling without qualm as I looked up to get back home and resume my normal life. The whole homework deal was no longer worth it and, in any case, JongDae would also lose if he didn't worry about doing something to finish it well.

Everything was meant to be fine.

Step by step under the night sky, I owned the road and walked back home, feeling less calm than I tried to convince myself that could be possible.

...

The following days passed without pain or glory, and to a large extent I just focused on decorating my new home. I had moved to a small apartment near Gon