“Jackson!” Jennie screamed from the bedroom, “Grab the medicine! Hurry.” The abrupt sound of rapid footsteps and of the crashing of a chair hitting against the wooden floor reassured her that she’ll get better soon.

“Where is it ? I can’t find it!” Jackson’s husky voice hollered throughout the apartment complex.

“On the black coffee table in front of the TV. Hurry.” Jackson rummaged through the spread of open fashion magazines and fast food napkins for a neon orange bottle. Anxiety shot his heartbeat up to his ears. He snatched the found container and ran across the apartment to find the girl sprawled on the ground of her bedroom. He nearly tears off the cap and feeds the her the pill.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” His own shaken voice scares him as he was unaware  that he, himself, was trembling. She shakes her head and swallows it whole with no chaser. Jackson squeezes the fallen petite girl in his Herculean-like arms, not wanting to ever let go, and lets her breathe for a moment before carrying her onto her bed. 

Jennie tries moving out of his arms. “I can-”

“No. Just, please let me do this.” Though she knew it was wrong, she complies and he tucks her into the cream white sheets and soft memory foam mattress before laying beside her. An air of silence lingers within the room as the two try to comprehend the repeated sudden event.

“It’s not supposed to be like this,” she whispered, slicing the silence as well as the bit of hope Jackson had for the future of the both of them.

“I know,” he acknowledged. He held her tightly, not allowing her to leave his arms if she wanted to.

 The close hug heated her cold body. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Jennie speaks up with a slight quiver in her voice. “I love you.” It’s no surprise to Jackson that even in this situation she is still worrying and caring for others before herself. They stayed together in solitude with only the sound of the mockingbird’s chirps filling their ears. The spring sunlight was glowing through her windows and heated the blanket for the two of them. Her short, quickened breaths shortly stopped and alerted Jackson. He then, instinctively, observed at her chest, and to his luck, saw it slowly, uniformly rise and fall.

“Don't worry about me. Just take a nap and rest,” Jackson whispered as he gently kissed her pale forehead. “I love you, too.” He stared at her butterfly-like eyelashes fluttering into a slow slumber. When she began softly snoring, he propped himself up and out of her vanilla-scented bed. He left her a sticky note behind on the black oakwood bedside table on her reading lamp, saying there’s food ready for her. Right before leaving the bedroom, Jackson lingered and stared at Jennie; the way her brunette, velvet-like waves gently cascade down to her torso, the way her very prominent collarbones are accentuated by the dainty gold, diamond encrusted star necklace he had bought for her for their two-year anniversary, and the way her almond shaped eyes would morph into moon-like crescents and twinkled everytime she beamed at him, it broke him to see her in this ongoing situation. He left and immediately dialed up his best friend.

The phone rang once.

The phone rang again.

The phone rang a third time.

“Hey, dude. What’s up?”

 Jackson let out his held breath. “It happened again, Mark.” He walked up to the pearly white dinner table and picked up the knocked over chair from earlier, repositioning it with a soft thud as he was trying to keep it mute for Jennie to rest.

“Again? That’s the third time in two weeks,” Mark exasperated. Jackson ran his fingers through this dark brown hair. “You remember when the surgery will be, right?”

“Next month. I know, you’ve reminded me.” 

“You need to make sure to take care of yourself all throughout before that.”

There was a long pause. “I hope she’ll be better after this,” Jackson replied as he held the phone against his ear and shoulder, and began moving around, picking up littered trash around the marble tabletop kitchen counter and off the apartment floor.

“It’s not about just her being okay. During the transplant, you have the higher percentage of dying than she does and you know that.” Mark gave him a painful reminder of reality. Jackson stood in front of the trashcan as he watched the garbage fall into the bin, not saying anything. Mark continued on, “Tell me, are you doing this because she was your girlfriend or because she’s your little sister?” Reality struck Jackson again. 

“Please don’t say that.”

“The truth?”

“Stop.” Jackson began picking in a hangnail against his thumb. 

“Get a grip, Jackson Wang!”

“I just- I don’t want to remember that afternoon,” he replied in a hushed voice.

Mark gave an exasperated sigh, “Look, it’s been a long while since you two came into my office for a blood test and found out the news. We’ve been through this over and over, so you just have to get used to this by now.” He paused a while, wondering if his words were too harsh against the cursed pair. “Just make sure to take care of each other until then. She’s getting weaker by the day, so just tell her to take the calcium and vitamin supplements I prescribed to her and to keep up with the chemotherapy.”

Jackson couldn’t find his words as he continually picked the hangnail until he could see blood seeping out. “I’ll see you Tuesday, Dr. Tuan.”

“Alright, take care of each other. Bye.”

“Wait-,” Jackson still held his phone to his ear even after Mark ended the call. “Bye.” He didn’t know what to do, to hurl his phone to the wall in rage and frustration and watch it satisfyingly shatter to pieces of flying glass and metal, or to cry and scream at the heavens for having their fate be tangled together in a pointless ball of thread. Jackson did neither, standing in shock, not moving away from the trash bin. His eyes began to become glossy and his vision soon morphed. Blinking quickly, he filled his head with other thoughts and busied himself with preparing dinner, but first getting a bandage to wrap his thumb. He then began chopping onions for the dish, but the stingingness of the chopped onions streamed its way to his eyes and resulted to his vision beginning to haze again. He didn’t hold it in this time, and tears silently began streaming down as he, again, wanted Jennie to sleep peacefully.

“Dr. Tuan?” Mark looked up to his assistant after ending the call.

“Yes?”

“What would you like me to do with these test results?” Mark snatched the report from her hands and viciously shredded it to pieces.

“Thank you. If anyone asks, you know nothing. You’re excused, Rosé.” Mark waved her off and she left in fright as she had never seen a man so savage towards a piece of paper. As he heard his office door click shut, he reached for a framed photo of Jackson and him together on his desk. Staring at it, he whispered to himself, “I’m sorry I lied to you, but I knew you first. I loved you first.”

Outside, on the other side of the door, Rosé was listening to him. With tears welling up in her eyes, she silently called out between hushed sobs, “But I’m the one that loves you.”