Luhan’s outing was much different than anything else the group had done so far. Firstly, he convinced Zhongrui and Mingsan to stay at the hotel, after agreeing that they could track our location and keep an eye on us that way. On top of that, all of us had to wear facemasks and sunglasses at all times to avoid someone recognizing us. Secondly, we didn’t use the limo; instead, he marched right into the middle of the street and called a taxi, the way a commoner would. 

I slipped in the front, as Luhan had told me to do, and lifted my glasses to smile at the taxi driver. “Hello, gentlemen and lady,” the man said, visually taken aback at the four tall Chinese men crammed into his backseat. I could tell from his accent instantly that he was French.

“Good afternoon! Take us to the nearest Panera Bread, please. We’ll tip nicely.”

The boys began to talk Mandarin in the back seat as soon as we hit the highway, and I could tell from the tone of their angry voices that it was about me - mainly between Kris and Luhan. Tao was staring out the window. I looked out the window casually and tried to block it all out, though I could feel everyone in the cab staring at me for different reasons.

Finally, fed up with them leaving me out of the loop, I turned my head to the driver and smiled again. “Du coup, tu parle francais?”

I saw the relief to hear his language seep onto his face. “Oui, je suis francais, en fait. Tu parle francais?”

“Bas, oui. Mon pere est francais, il est ne en Nimes.”

Now it was the backseat’s turn to listen quietly and try to decipher the conversation being had. I could still feel the tension radiating from the four of them, but ignored it to the best of my ability and continued to use my french until we rolled up in the parking lot.

“Merci beaucoup,” I said, handing the driver a wad of money that Luhan had given me. “Et désolé pour ça.” I nodded my head to the backseat. “Bonne journée, monsieur!”

I slid out of the seat and the cab drove away, leaving me to deal with four dumbfounded idols. “You really can speak French!” Yixing exclaimed. “That’s so freaking cool!”

I laughed. “Well, yeah. My family goes every other year, I had to learn sometime.” Then, I shot Luhan a questioning glance and lead the group into the restaurant without looking at Tao or Kris.

This time, Lu did the speaking. He walked up to the counter and asked under his breath for a more private table, so the lady lead us around to a secluded back corner. She took our drink orders and made sure not to leave without giving Luhan a flirtatious wink.

I rolled my eyes visibly and looked through the menu. The first few minutes of our lunch conversation were very tense and cautious, as if we were stepping on eggshells. Then the server came back, wrote down our orders, took our menus, and Luhan leaned forward slightly.

The conversation was about to be had.

“Well, we talked a little about this in the limo. The first thing I want to say is that we have to stay a team, no matter what. The four of us have grown to be so close and we can’t let something as stupid as this get in the way of our careers and bonds. That being said, I know whatever is going on between you three is none of my business,” he said, motioning at Tao, Kris and I. “So I’m not about to interfere. But Tao, Kris, you need to remember your friendship is important.”

“So is respecting women,” Tao said through clenched teeth.

“Another thing that’s important,” Luhan continued, ignoring Tao, “is our new manager, and the relationships we have with her. Think of her as another one of us. She’s a member of our team, she’s going to be spending a lot of time with us, and she basically holds our careers in her hands. She’s also the target of a lot of hatred and anger coming from our fans. So not only do we need to treat her well, but we have to protect her.”

The server came back with our food and swiftly put it on the table in front of us before walking away again. The whole table feel silent until she was out of earshot.

“So, here’s why I’m treating you all today. We’re gonna make new bonds, like we did at the beginning of our debut with EXO. We’re going to get to know each other, the deep, dark, and nasty,” Lu said between bites.

Kris and I made eye contact across the circular table and I quickly looked down at my mac and cheese. I didn’t know if I felt more angry at him or guilty for Tao after what had happened.

“We’ll start easy. Yixing, what brings you the most happiness?”

“Dancing,” he said without thinking. A single strand of his hair fell from behind his ear, and I could see the light in his eyes when he said the word. He truly was a dancer at heart. “It makes me feel powerful and invincible but vulnerable at the same time.”

Tao smiled. “I remember those times in EXO when you were coaching people twice your age for hours after practice. You really do love it.”

Luhan nodded. “Kris?”

Kris was silent for a second. “I think… writing. When I write my raps, and I try to communicate the things I feel in a way that my audience can relate to it and still jam out to it. It’s a delicate balance, but when you get it right, it’s breathtaking.” He nodded and went back to eating his food silently.

“That’s one of the reasons you left EXO, you didn’t have room to write what you wanted to write. I remember how much it got to you,” Yixing said, putting his hand on Kris’s shoulder. They exchanged a small smile.

“Tao?” Luhan directed.

“Wushu,” Tao said. “It makes me feel badass, first of all. I can do things most other people can’t do. It feels like I’m flying. And when I do it, I don’t think about anything else. It’s just me, my body. It centers me, makes everything else seem less significant. It’s how I deal with excess emotion.”

Luhan nodded. “Yeah, it’s so cool to see you do that stuff.”

Everyone looked at me expectantly.

“Jeez,” I said. “Flute. Sometimes, when I’m playing, a piece or a passage or even an excerpt, and you just kind of let go and let it seep out of your heart. It’ll remind you of something, and that makes the sound so much more magical. It makes everything seem brighter.”

“I remember when I heard you playing in the hotel that one day,” Kris said lowly. Everyone held their breath. “After the shooting. Before the call. You’re really good, Luna.”

I cleared my throat and awkwardly nodded.

“Luhan,” Tao interrupted. “Your turn.”

“You already know what it is,” Luhan said. “Singing, of course. Kind of like what Luna said, it’s all focus on technique and pitch and words until you just let go, and let it flow. It’s the most invigorating, the most free feeling you’ve ever felt.” He sighed dreamily. “Singing, by a lot.”

All four of us nodded. The way he talked about it made his eyes sparkle like Yixing’s had.

“Now, Yixing asks a question, and we go around the table,” Luhan said, taking another bite.

“Okay,” Yixing said, putting down his fork. “I got one. If you could change two things about yourself, one mental and one physical, what would you change?”

Kris cleared his throat. “Physically, I wish I wasn’t so skinny.” 

All the boys chuckled and nodded in agreement. Kris cracked a smile. “Like, all western media shows is these buff white men with biceps and abs and a V shaped body but I’m… I’m shaped more like a lowercase L, which for me and my fans. As for mentally, I wish I was more romantically inclined. I don’t feel like I have much of a clue what to do with girls, especially after Yueguo.” His face fell slightly. He nodded and looked at Tao.

“Physically, definitely a wider chest would be nice, a V shape like Kris gege said.” Tao smiled at me, embarrassed, and looked down, shaking his head. Everyone laughed. “Mentally, so many things… I wish I could handle my emotions better. I’ve had anger issues since I was a kid. I wish I was less impulsive and thought things through before doing them. I wish I was more mature. Yeah.” 

“Tao, you’ve matured ages since EXO,” Yixing commented. The boys nodded. “Like, you’re a completely different person now.”

“谢谢,” Tao said, bowing his head slightly. “Luna?”

“Can I skip this one?” I asked, matching Tao’s embarrassed smile. “I don’t know you guys well enough to tell you what I’m self conscious about.” Then I burst into a fit of nervous laughter. 

Everyone laughed with me and then Luhan reached to put a hand on my shoulder. “We won’t reveal your secrets to anyone else. I think of you like my younger sister. I only want to shelter you.”

Yixing grinned. “That’s exactly how I feel about her, too. Like a brotherly love.”

My heart warmed up a few degrees and I sighed. “Okay, fine. Physically, I’ve always wanted the opposite of you guys, to be skinnier, cause I grew up around people like Amelia. And just to be prettier in general, cause I’m pretty plain. Mentally, I wish I was more chill, because I tend to be more bubbly.”

Tao reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I speak for everyone when I say that you are not plain.” The rest of them nodded.

“Well, mine is gonna sound stupid and petty compared to yours,” Luhan began. “Physically, I wish I was less cute looking and more hardcore looking. Mentally, I wish that I could have fun more easily.”

“As for me,” Yixing said. “Physically, I wish I was taller. And mentally, I wish I were a little bit less patient. Sometimes I forget that I matter just as much as other people. Okay, Kris, your turn.”

“Who do you look up to?” Kris asked, chewing his last bite of salad.

Tao answered the question without thinking. “Luhan. Ever since EXO.” Luhan’s cheeks went red.

I had to think for a minute before deciding on my answer. “Katniss Everdeen.”

“Jeez, I dunno. Confucius,” Luhan said.

“Michael Jackson,” Yixing managed to get out between bites.

“Probably… Kendrick,” Kris finished. “Tao 第第, go for it.”

At this point, all of us were done eating and people were beginning to pay a bit more attention to the table of tall, disguised men in the back corner. Tao quickly came up with a question. “What is your spirit animal?”

“Sea otters,” I said.

“Deer, like bambi,” Luhan said, smiling at the thought of cute baby deer.

“Sheep, duh,” Yixing replied. We all laughed again.

Kris thought for a second. “A hawk, I think.”

Tao answered without any hesitation. “A panda.”

Then, it was my turn and all four of them turned to me expectantly. “Okay, I’ll do the obvious one.” I began slowly. “What’s your biggest fear?”

“Heights.” Luhan.

“Getting older, and loosing my skills because of it.” Yixing.

“My fans loosing faith in me.” Kris.

“Loosing my career and the people I love.” Tao.

“Mine is being taken advantage of.”

My answer provoked a long silence and a few side glances at Kris, who stared me down steadily. Yixing broke the awkward silence by standing and pulling his hat down a little bit.

“We should get out of here, you guys. People are starting to stare.”

“Okay,” Luhan said, rising as well. “Let’s go. We’re only about a five minute walk away.” He took off his face mask and sunglasses, clearly fed up with being in disguise, and led the way out of the shop surrounded by whispers. Kris, Tao, and Yixing followed his lead and took off their accessories before leaving the shop.