Description: Being away from the one you love is not easy, it made Chaewon question whether or not it was the best thing for her and Minjoo. She just wanted to be with her girl, but was it fair to make Minjoo wait for her?

“...you’re being directed to the voicemail, please wait for the beep to leave a message.” The electronic voice said and Chaewon hang up without leaving a message. She was getting tired of leaving messages, and perhaps of calling as well.

Sitting on her bed, she stared down at her phone. There was a picture of her and Minjoo as the background, it was her graduation day and they were smiling happily. She could recall the way their friends had made fun of them for being so clingy even in a day like that, but she didn’t mind it. She had promised Minjoo she would come to her graduation as well – it, like so many other things, seemed just like a hopeless plan now.

It’s been almost a year since she moved to her college dorm. A year away from her girlfriend. Chaewon never thought it would be a problem, but she was clearly naïve.

Studying took a lot of her time, even at the weekends she was drowning in papers to write and anatomy structures to memorize. Going back home became a much harder task as she had to choose between a few hours with her loved ones, or more hours at the library preparing for exams – it would be a lie to say she prioritized the first one more often. There was so much pressure on her shoulders and she didn’t want to disappoint her parents – and herself –, she was doing her best to balance everything in her life and failing.

People said college was the best place to have fun, but for her college was the place to stress herself to the maximum and get minimum sleep. Studying, however, wasn’t the worst part of her year.

Leaving Minjoo behind was painful, it made her realize how attached she was to the younger woman. She missed everything about her girl, from her smiles and kisses, to even the quiet moments where they would just stay side by side, finishing homework at the school’s library or just lazing around in her room.

At first, they tried talking every day, keep in touch the best way they could. Sending texts and video calling every night before sleeping. Chaewon tried her best to visit at least twice a month.

But there was a thing with long distance relationships, it wasn’t about the distance, it was about the effort you put onto it. And when you don’t try enough, they quickly worn out.

They weren’t apart for an ocean or thousands of miles, it wouldn’t take more than three hours to get back home in a normal day. They were, however, separate by much more complicated things.

It was her first year in college, but it was Minjoo’s last year in high school. Both had a lot to prove, in very different ways. While Chaewon had to adapt to a new routine, Minjoo was back at her old high school working hard to try to get into a good college. The younger girl was having a hard time picking a major and trying to raise her grades as much as possible, and Chaewon was frustrated for not being able to help her at all. She tried to be the reliable older partner, many times using their calls to try to explain things and give her tips – it took her a little too long to notice her girlfriend never asked for them.

Chaewon only realized what she was doing when the calls became shorter and Minjoo started to sound tired instead of excited to talk to her. She wondered if she had come too strong, just piling up more pressure on the younger girl’s shoulders, instead of being a source of energy for her. Even though she was only trying to help, she only made things worse.

Perhaps that was how things started to go downhill for them.

She tried to fix it, trying to visit more often and encouraging Minjoo to go out with their younger friends to have fun. It worked, but only partially.

Minjoo did seem happier now when they talked, once she allowed herself to loosen up a bit and hang out with her friends more often. However, Chaewon didn’t manage to visit her as much as she would like, and when she did, their time together always seem to go by too quickly.

Around six months into college, her schedule became even tighter with assignments and exams accumulating, she had to sacrifice her sleeping hours to not fail her classes completely. She couldn’t afford to visit on the weekends and Minjoo was understanding enough to not complain about it. Or so Chaewon thought, until the girl started to speak more and more about everything her and Yujin were doing together on the weekends since they were the only ones left since Yuri was always busy with Yena.

Chaewon would rather to think of herself as a mature, level headed person, but it would be a lie to say it didn’t tick her off a bit – the feeling never went away completely, it only grew every time she came across a picture of them together or accidentally noticed their interactions on social media, she was getting annoyed by the simple mention of their hang outs by now. It was childish and wrong, still she couldn’t brush it off. She knew Minjoo would never be disloyal, it wasn’t like her. But she also knew she wasn’t the one making her happy right now, and maybe this knowledge was more painful. Minjoo deserved better than a girlfriend who couldn’t be with her and only nagged about school.

It was about that time their texts started to become more sporadic – as the time went by they became more and more robotic. They started to reschedule their video chats as well, so many times that they would spend more time talking about doing it, than actually doing so.

Now, when she was finally able to go back home for a while, she wasn’t even able to get into contact with her girlfriend – it wasn’t like Minjoo refused to take the call, she was probably just busy again. With whatever it was.

Giving a final look at her phone, she slides her finger though the screen and with a couple of touches their picture was gone, replaced by a default wallpaper.

Minjoo searched her bag for her phone, founding it dead at the bottom of it. She sighed, taking a seat by the bleachers.

She didn’t really want to go out in such bad weather, but staying home alone didn’t seem that nice. Therefore, she was now at the ice rink with her friends, staying outside the house was becoming a common occurrence for her – maybe because it was only way she didn’t have to worry about people asking about her choices of college or how Chaewon and her were doing. All her classmates seem obsessed with these subjects, no wonder she was spending more time in the company of the juniors now.

Yujin, with whom she spent most of the time, was full of energy and very carefree always. Being around her was easy and made her feel like she used to when she first entered high school. They started to hang out more often since the beginning of the year as the girl seem to be the only one to notice how stressed she was – Yuri too, of course, but Yuri had to deal with her own problems since she was also a senior now.

They had grown close with time as Minjoo got tired of studying and the constant nagging of her teachers – and sometimes even from her girlfriend. Chaewon had told her to loosen up a bit and enjoy her free time and Yujin was of great help. Now they spent almost every free period together, Minjoo would even have her as a study buddy instead of other seniors and they would hang out on the weekends.

She knew some people were gossiping about their closeness, but she tried to ignore it. Yujin was a precious friend to her and one that had helped so much in the last couple of months.

Besides, Yujin had Wonyoung, a freshman from another school. They were dating for a couple of months now and Minjoo would help out by driving them to their dates sometimes – it made her feel like an older sister, but she didn’t mind it much. Today her and Yuri were accompanying the younger girls at the ice rink – Yuri at it, what meant that Minjoo spent more time trying to keep them both standing than actually skating while the kids would run around making fun of them. She had just taken a break, when she heard the buzz of her phone a moment before it died down.

Reaching for her mobile battery, she connected it to the phone and waited a moment until she was able to turn it on again. As soon as the device was working, she got two notifications of missed calls, both from Chaewon. Her heart clenched in her chest. It hurt a little more when she noticed the girl hadn’t left a voice message or texted her. Chaewon was doing it often lately.

Opening the tab with the last texts exchanged she left out another sigh. When their conversation became like that? It was such a basic exchange of words, some ‘good nights’ and ‘did you have dinner already’, the kind of text that would usually get lost in the middle their silly rambling about all sort of things. Even right now, as her fingers itched to text her girlfriend, she wasn’t sure of what she should say, the idea of getting into another soulless chat hurt more than the silence.

Minjoo liked to think she was just giving Chaewon the space she needed to study, college wasn’t easy and the girl was always the type that overworks herself. However, she knew it wasn't just it, they were slowly falling apart and she was at fault too.

That year was being a nightmare for the two of them. Everything they had planned together had pretty much failed. She missed Chae – all the freaking time, to the point where speaking to her only made the need to see her even stronger. Chaewon was too busy to visit most of the time, and every time she tried to go to her, her parents would shut her down claiming she should let her girlfriend focus on her studies and she should focus on her own as well.

She didn’t want to act too needy and burden Chaewon with her demands, so she tried to keep herself occupied in her own ways. It worked to some extent, spending time with the kids would take her mind off other matters, and studying was a little easier when she tried to encourage herself by thinking that every good grade put her one step closer to Chaewon in college – she knew it was shallow of her to pick the university she would attend just because she would be closer to Chae, but when didn’t she use her heart instead of her brain to make decisions? It was a good school anyway.

Although, she was second guessing her plans now that they were getting strange by the day. What if Chae just didn’t want her around anymore?

Mustering her courage, she typed: 

“Chae, are you coming home today?”

The reply came oddly quickly.

“I’ll be there before night. Can you meet me by the lake?”

Minjoo bite down on her bottom lip, hesitating. She wanted to see her girlfriend, but there was something off about that text. Still, she didn’t say no.

“Sure! I can’t wait to see you!”

Chaewon’s expression was blank when she met Minjoo by the lake at the beginning of the evening, her eyes didn’t give away anything. It’d be fast and for the best, she repeated to herself as her gaze come to meet the girl with brown hair. Her heart said otherwise, skipping a beat at the simple sight of Minjoo.

“Chaewon! I’m sorry I’m late, I was with…” Minjoo tried, sounding a little out of breath as she rushed to meet her.

“Yujin, I know.” Chae cut off, trying her best to not let her voice show her true feelings. “It’s okay, I just got here.” Shrugging her shoulders, she let out the easy lie. If anything, the minutes she waited for Minjoo made this decision even harder.

Minjoo gave her a smile – an awkward one, as if she was considering how to act and perhaps she was since she didn’t greet her with a hug or a kiss, she just stood there fidgeting with her own hands. “Why did you ask me to meet here? It’s pretty cold, we should go home and grab some hot chocolate.”

It was hard to not grimace at her words that brought up so many good memories. It would be easier to go with her and play pretend for a couple of days, but it would only hurt more later.

“I know. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but,” She didn’t want to ruin their memories, she would rather freeze to death than do that. The memories would be all she would have left after tonight. “I didn’t want anyone else to hear it.” Taking a deep breath, she faced the chocolate brown eyes she loved the most and said. “I want to break up.”

Her girlfriend – Ex-girlfriend? –, didn’t answer immediately, she only blinked in confusion risking a step closer. “Chaewon! It’s not funny, stop it.”

Giving a shaky smile of her own, she tried to play it cool. “It’s not a joke, Minjoo.” Her voice was soft, she had rehearsed her words and hopefully she would be able to deliver the message without breaking down. “I haven’t been treating you right, not giving you the attention you deserve…We barely even talk lately and…”

A very familiar pair of arms interrupted her with a tight hug that almost knocked her off of her feet. “No, no, no, Chaewon. What are you even saying?” The embrace was so tight that it was hard to breath, but Chaewon didn’t try to push her away – it was taking all her strength to not hug her back. “You’re busy with school, I know that. It’s not your fault”

“Even if it’s not my fault, it still hurts you. Us.” Her voice was small now, the memorized words erased of her mind by Minjoo’s closeness. She still smells like vanilla and Chaewon just want to sink into her warmth.

She should’ve been more careful dealing with the girl, listening to her words instead of just pushing her own agenda and pressuring her. If she hadn’t push Minjoo away, things wouldn’t have got this bad…It wasn’t fair of her to keep them in this situation. “I wasn’t supportive enough and ruined things.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. But you’ll if you don’t stop now.” There was pain in Minjoo’s voice, her hot breath was erratic against Chaewon’s neck, denouncing how disturbed she was.

Of course, they were supposed to stay together, weren’t them? It was hard to even recall a time where they weren’t, none of them wanted to do so. Breaking up meant breaking more their current relationship, it means breaking all the promises they made along the way…It meant breaking their hearts.

For Minjoo breaking up was such a far-off idea that she never even tried to prepare herself for it, even if she knew there was a chance of it happening, she could never simply accept it. Chaewon and her were meant to be together, it was so clear for her. “You promised you’d be with me for graduation. You promised you’d be with me forever.” No one else could fill the space in her heart like the older Kim, and she wanted to think the same thing was true for Chaewon. “Don’t give up on us. Stay with me.”

Chaewon slowly lifted her arms, knowing she should push the girl away and make her decision clear, but Minjoo’s words touched deep inside of her heart. She had never broken a promise to the girl before and here she was now, trying to break so many at once. Moreover, she was trying to break their bond for good.

Her lips quivered, warm tears invading her eyes. Her hands clenched into fists, holding tightly onto the back of Minjoo’s coat as she hugged her back with all her might. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Minjoo and everything they had, no matter how broken it may be now.

How could she go when all she wanted to do was stay?

“I’m sorry.” Chaewon now had a warm cup of hot chocolate in hand, just like the younger girl that was sitting beside her at Minjoo’s bedroom floor.

“I know. I’m sorry too.” Minjoo sighed, the hurt in her eyes was still there when she looked at Chaewon. “I know I failed you too. But it just hurts so much sometimes and there was so much going on…” The girl hesitated, fighting her tears. “I don’t want to be the one holding you back, Chae. But I don’t want to lose you.”

Shaking her head, Chae left her cup aside to reach out to hold Minjoo’s hand into hers. The touch was so familiar and warm that it was almost too much for her vulnerable heart, she used to hold these hands every day, now she couldn’t remember the last time. Lifting her gaze, she noticed the subtle chances in her girl, her face was more slim than she remembered – probably due to her own stress and maybe a late effect of puberty; the different hair style and the way her lips didn’t have the usual smile on them – this last change was her fault and she needed to correct that. “You are not holding me back, if anything I’m the one that was keeping you waiting.” With a small sigh, she gave her girl a smile. “I was trying to do what I thought would be the best and give you the freedom to be with someone else if it was what you wished for.”

“Someone else?” Minjoo narrowed her eyes at Chaewon’s words, she knew the other woman was just trying to make the right decision for them, but to think Chae thought she could want anyone but her, hurt her heart. “And who would that be?”

Chaewon grimaced, avoiding her gaze. Just thinking about the possibility of Minjoo with anyone else was enough to give her a bad feeling, she could play the altruistic part, but deep down she still selfishly wanted Min all to herself. “I don’t know…Maybe someone you got closer or something. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, but feelings may change and…”

“You’re jealous!” Minjoo hit her on the shoulder a couple of times, lightly enough to not hurt her, but firm enough to make an impression. The older didn’t even have time to avoid the hits. “You’re supposed to be the smart one here! How could I change if I’ve loved you since I was nine?!”

“Nine?!” Was all Chaewon managed to squeal out as she tried to avoid the hits with a bunch of apologies. “I-I’m sorry, Minjoo! MinMin, calm down!”

“Nine!” With one final hit, she clingy onto Chaewon’s arm, resting her head on her shoulder. “I love you the same.” With a heavy sigh, she glanced at the girl. For the first time in her life she thought Chaewon was a fool – still, her heart still hurt of affection as her eyes met hers. “Did it change for you?” She risked after a minute of silence.

The older shook her head slowly, of course it hadn’t change. There might be billions of people in the world, but Minjoo was Minjoo, and Chaewon’s love was only meant for her. “No. You’re still my love, I don’t think it could be any other way.”

Their eyes met, and finally Chaewon saw the glint that was supposed to always light up the chocolate one, instead of the opaque hue of hurt. Her relieved smile was interrupted by gentle lips against hers and she promptly closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of being with her girl again.

Minjoo hugged Chaewon by the neck, making sure she wouldn’t go anywhere – part of her was still scared the other would change her mind again, Chae’s words would haunt her for days and being by her side would be the only way to calm her heart. But kissing her always had the effect of putting her mind at ease, her body only filled with the warm and gentle feeling of love.

They kissed for a long time. Not the long, deep kisses, that they used to exchange in this room. But shorter, gentle ones that were full of care and maybe a little bit of hesitation at first. It been a while since the last time they were together and they wanted to make this moment last as much as possible.

“Kissing won’t solve all of our problems.” Chaewon said after a while, using a gentle tone and running her hands through Minjoo’s hair to make sure her words wouldn’t be misunderstood. “We need to talk more, to try to connect like we always did.”

“I know.” The younger Kim snuggled further into her side, hating that they were forced to break the precious moment to deal with the reality. “I will be braver and more insistent. Prepare to hear from me at all times of the day!” She wouldn’t be a coward anymore and take the lead, be it at texting or telling how she really feels. She might be younger, but it didn’t mean she should always expect Chaewon to be the one to take charge. “And don’t even think about rescheduling our hangouts!” She used her index finger to intimidate the older girl, winning a soft chuckle in return.

“I won’t. I won’t nag you about school and college applications again. I shouldn’t have done it to being with, I know you’re smart and responsible.” Chaewon said giving her an apologetic look, she should trust more in Minjoo’s capability instead of trying to act like her tutor, being an year older didn’t make her that more mature or give her the right to act like the adult here – maybe she was just trying so hard because she felt like it was what people expected from her, and maybe it was for most, but not for Minjoo. From now on, she should focus on what her girlfriend really needs from her. “We can make things work out. We can make a schedule and I promise I’ll keep it.”

“Soon I won’t be in high school anymore, I can visit you there and…” Minjoo bite down on her bottom lip, she didn’t want to count on things before it was a reality. But she wanted to tell Chaewon about it for a while now. “I applied to your school, if they accept me, maybe we can meet more often.”

Chaewon’s eyes grew wider in surprise. “You did?! But I thought you weren’t sure about what you wanted to do.”

“I wasn’t, but I thought about it a lot.” The younger fidgeted, her gaze still hesitating. What if Chaewon didn’t like the idea? If she felt like she was overstepping the limits for not consulting her before? “Please don’t scold me about it. I know what everyone will think, but it’s a good university and is not like I didn’t work…”

“Minjoo?” Chae interrupted her, a small, but genuinely happy smile on her face. “I’m not scolding you. I’m actually really happy you want to be near me!” She kissed her lightly, resting her forehead against hers. She was being selfish again, relying too much on her girl, but she couldn’t help but do so, her heart light with the prospect of seeing Minjoo every day even if it meant to just look at her for a couple of minutes before ending up snoring on her bed after a long day of studying. The thought of having Minjoo with her was enough to give her hope in their future.  “Whether you get in or not, we’ll make things work out. I don’t want to be away from you.”

Minjoo didn’t reply this time, just hugging her tighter once more, covering her cheeks with sweet kisses that made Chaewon’s head spin a little bit – in the best way possible. Chaewon returned the gesture, kissing her anywhere her lips could land on her face until the younger had an easy, relaxed smile on her face – she wanted to protect this smile and she promised herself she would keep Minjoo happy.

Not everything was magically fixed, but when they were together, all the rest seem small and mundane. It may not be easy, but they could do it, as long as they didn’t allow their foolish fears and tight schedules to keep them apart again.

At the beginning of that night both carried heavy hearts and confused minds, but now that they were together again, things seem much brighter and they would remain like this as long as they worked hard for it.

That week proved it as Chaewon went back to her dorm for her final exams, but didn’t break their promise. It was in the small things: texting about their days, sharing their concerns, and finding time to snap a picture whenever they saw something the other might like so just they could ‘tag’ them on it with the promise they would come together soon. It was only one month until graduation, but Chae collected a bunch of small gifts, that piled up in her old bedroom every time she visited on the weekends – Minjoo was kind enough to pretend not notice it until the day the older girl gave them to her directly.

In one of her visits Chaewon eventually figured out about the existence Yujin’s girlfriend, Wonyoung, in a double date that began with the most awkward atmosphere and end up with both couples sharing laughs and a new friendship formed and – Minjoo made Chaewon pay for their meal that night and Chae couldn’t even protest, served her right for being a jealous girlfriend.

When the graduation day finally came, she was there to keep her promise and Minjoo had a hard time not being the cry baby she was and not crying at the sight of her girlfriend and their parents cheering for her – luckily this time she didn’t trip and fall in front of everyone. Albeit she did fell into Chaewon’s arms right after, giving her signature bear hug that always tested the older girl’s balance.

They made sure to keep the memories of these days recorded in as many pictures as Minjoo managed to take and Chaewon patiently allowed her to – she also had to deal with this for the rest of the summer, but she didn’t mind it all.

They were together, and this time for a long time, even Minjoo’s little antics and habits had become her favorite thing by now – Minjoo wouldn’t point it out, but Chaewon had as many weird habits as her, but it was okay, she loved it all the same.

A little less than a month before the new academic year, the results for the college entrance exams were out and the Kim duo was waiting anxiously for it.

It was hard to tell who was more nervous that day as they both had to search for Minjoo’s number in the nearly endless list of candidates placed right outside the college. It took them around 10 minutes until Chaewon was able to spot Minjoo’s number, a couple more seconds for her to make sure she had read it correctly. Took her another 20 minutes to stop hugging and spinning her girlfriend around in a very unusual display of affection. Minjoo only laughed between happy tears, joining Chaewon’s enthusiasm. But who could blame them? They would be seeing each other a lot more often from now on and they couldn’t be happier.

They were a little less happy when Minjoo was allocated in the dorm building opposite to Chaewon’s and the hallway monitor insisted on making their nocturne escapades a lot harder. It was fun nonetheless. And totally worth it.

A/N: In short: no angst in this good 2kim house! Hello everyone, how you all doing? I know everyone is having a hard week, but I hope some foolish fluffy can make you smile :)

"Angel aren’t you on a break?" Yes, I’m, but this is an exception since it’s 444’s, aka Jace, and Jiro’s birthday!

As usual, thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. See you next month and a very happy birthday to the girls!

P.S.: I’m breaking the tradition this time, it wasn’t inspired by any prompt.