Karma is a . And the got him. Byun Baekhyun.

Taking a deep breath, gathering all his courage, Baekhyun pushes himself through the entrance. He enters the huge building with one single purpose in mind: apologizing to Park Chanyeol, his ex – the one he hurt badly years ago. He can already imagine how awkward their reunion would be. Chanyeol has changed a lot. Back when they were together, back in high school, Chanyeol was a nerd, always wearing those ugly glasses and those big hoodies. The current Park Chanyeol is a bigger nerd but a successful one. It’s the age of computer nerds after all. The nerd you bully at school will become the one to rule the world. As for Park Chanyeol, he isn’t only the founder of Korean most popular social media apps. He has also learned to become a businessman. The press calls him the Korean Mark Zuckerberg and Baekhyun couldn’t agree less.

“Do you have an appointment?” The young receptionist responds to Baekhyun’s request to see Chanyeol.

“I don’t. But can you please tell him that Byun Baekhyun is here? We are old friends.”

“Sir, I’m afraid I can’t do that. You can wait here though. Mr. Park usually arrives at 9 o’clock. If he knows…”

“If he gives the “OK”, I’ll make an appointment for you,” she corrects herself, trying not to sound rude. Baekhyun doesn’t take it as an insult though. She’s just doing her job and as popular as Chanyeol has become, there would be plenty of people claiming to be his friends.

Nodded, Baekhyun sits down on the white couch in the waiting area. Just now he notices how impressed he is by the building. Its design is modern, and it gets a touch of the Western style. The entrance leads to a huge foyer with three waiting areas, each as comfortable as the other. Each waiting area has its own color: gold, blue and white. Baekhyun chose the white one since it was the nearest to the entrance.

“9 o’clock my ,” Baekhyun thinks, looking at his watch. It’s almost 12 o’clock. He has been waiting for three hours now. This must be one of those privileges to be your own boss.

12:13

Finally, Chanyeol enters the building. To be honest, Baekhyun is quite disappointed. After 3 hours of waiting, having nothing to do, Baekhyun imagined all possible ways how the CEO would appear. Baekhyun played all the scenes in his mind as if he was directing a movie. However, Chanyeol’s entrance is anything but dramatic. He just walks in like any other people, except he is escorted by three bodyguards.

Well, real life isn’t any K-drama after all.

“Chanyeollie,” Baekhyun calls, approaching the young CEO, only to be stopped by Chanyeol’s bodyguards. Immediately, Chanyeol recognizes Baekhyun’s voice. After all these years, he still couldn’t forget that sweet voice and the way Baekhyun says his name. “Chanyeollie”. No one calls him that. Only him. Byun Baekhyun. Unknowingly, Chanyeol grabs his left wrist. Words couldn’t describe the mixed emotions Chanyeol was feeling right now. Damn it, how is he finding words to describe when he doesn’t even know what he is feeling?

“Chanyeollie, it’s me. Can we please talk?” Baekhyun tries again.

“You know him, sir?” One of the bodyguards asks. Chanyeol nods slightly, causing the men to allow Baekhyun coming near. Still, they stand between the two.

“I have no say.” Chanyeol refuses.

“Then at least hear me out.”

“Whatever you want to say, I don’t want to hear it,” Chanyeol states clearly.

“Chanyeol, it’s very important to me… please,” begs Baekhyun. Chanyeol clenches his teeth. It’s “me” again. It has always been about himself, Byun Baekhyun, and it’ll always be. Baekhyun is a narcist. Chanyeol has accepted that fact years ago.

“Go to hell, Byun Baekhyun. I never want to see you again.” Chanyeol snaps.

“Chanyeol, please.” Baekhyun tries again as Chanyeol turns his back, leaving.

“I’ll wait until you listen to me,” Baekhyun shouts after the CEO who disappears in the elevator.

“Should we kick him out?” Chanyeol’s bodyguard asks.

“No, I want to see how long he can wait,” Chanyeol replies.

Arrived at his office, the first thing he does was turning on the CCTV, checking the foyer. He isn’t surprised that Baekhyun is still waiting for him. That’s the Byun Baekhyun he knew. Stubborn to death. He used to love this characteristic of Baekhyun. But now, all he feels is hate.

Chanyeol clicks the mouse and zooms in. He has never thought that it’d really pay off to install HD-cameras in his building. But today, he’s glad he did. Baekhyun is now clear to see on the monitor. The smaller male just sits there, watching people coming out of the elevator. Every time the doors opens and someone other than Chanyeol comes out, Chanyeol believes he could see Baekhyun’s disappointment.

Getting back to work, Chanyeol tries to hold a meeting with his staffs. Yet, while his body is there, his mind is absent. Therefore, the meeting seems so horribly long today. As soon as the staffs leave, he checks on Baekhyun again, expecting his ex to be gone. Yet, there he is, still sitting on that couch, watching people coming out of that damned elevator. Chanyeol notices Baekhyun biting his nails. He still remembers that’s what Baekhyun does when he gets impatient. Some things never change, he thinks with a smile on his lips which he isn’t aware of. Chanyeol grabs the telephone and calls the receptionist, asking how long Baekhyun has been there. It shocks him to know Baekhyun has been waiting since this morning. That means he has been waiting for over 5 hours.

“Did he take a break?” “Did he eat something?” “Did he get something to drink?”

There are so many questions he wants to ask. But how do you do that without sounding like a lunatic stalker? Instead, Chanyeol plays cool and tells the young receptionist to bring Baekhyun some water, as he finds out Baekhyun hasn’t drink anything the whole day.

“He knows he’ll get headaches when he doesn’t drink enough. Why doesn’t he take care?”

At that moment Chanyeol realizes that deep down he still feels something for that person who hurt him deadly. Almost.

Chanyeol pulls up his sleeve, releasing a scar on his wrist. He remembers that day he thought death was the only way to escape all the pains. That day he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. He couldn’t live without Baekhyun. Yet, at the same moment, he hated Baekhyun to death. He could imagine bringing his hands to Baekhyun’s neck and strangles the life out of his first love. He couldn’t bear the hate but also the love he was feeling at the same time. And that night, he had enough. He was just tired, and he just wanted to sleep. He just wanted peace. He just didn’t want to think about how his family… how his sister will react anymore. He just didn’t want to think anymore. He just didn’t want to wake up the next day, forcing a smile, telling people he was fine when he was not. He just wished tomorrow wouldn’t come. With that thought in mind, he deepened the knife on his skin, letting the blades sink into his flesh.

Thinking of his past reminds Chanyeol of how much he hates Byun Baekhyun. That Park Chanyeol was weak. But that Park Chanyeol was the past. The new Park Chanyeol learned how to love himself. He learned to treasure life. He learned to enjoy the little things. He learned to let go. And this is the moment to prove it.

Turning off the CCTV, Chanyeol goes back to work. He tells himself not to check the cameras and he made it. Still, he stays longer in his office as if he’s afraid Baekhyun would still be waiting. Just to make sure he wouldn’t bump into Baekhyun again.

Yet, he was wrong. Baekhyun is still waiting. Looking at his watch, Chanyeol couldn’t believe it was past 10 pm. Baekhyun has been waiting for 12 hours. A wave of guilt hits him, but he forces himself not to look at Baekhyun as he leaves the building. Walking past his ex, he could feel Baekhyun’s eyes on him. A part of him wants to embrace the small male while a part of him just wants to run away. Getting into his car, he can see Baekhyun following him, keeping a distance but still waiting for him to turn back. But Chanyeol doesn’t look back. This Park Chanyeol wouldn’t look back… not even for one second.

That night Chanyeol doesn’t sleep. The day was so crazy, it felt like a dream and Chanyeol isn’t sure if it was a lovely dream or a nightmare. The next day comes and never has he been so nervous going to work. He knows Baekhyun wouldn’t be there again and he would never admit it, but a part of him, just a small part of him is hoping to see Baekhyun again.

And to his luck or bad luck, there he is. Baekhyun is once again waiting for him.

“Chanyeollie,” the small male just calls his name and Chanyeol almost gives in. Taking a deep breath Chanyeol tells himself that he needs to be on guard. Byun Baekhyun is still his weakness. He can never forget that.

“Please, listen to me. Just 5 minutes. I just want to apologize.”

“You can take your apologies and go to hell,” Chanyeol says through clenched teeth.

“Please, Chanyeollie,” Baekhyun begs again.

“You’re wasting your time. I’ll never forgive you. Accept it. You’ll have to live with your mistake and its consequences. The day you die, you’ll die knowing you’re not forgiven.” The moment those words leave his mouth, Chanyeol knows he was too harsh. Years have passed and still, Chanyeol still recognizes it - the moment before Baekhyun would burst into tears. Baekhyun’s under lips are trembling. His eyes turn red and his hands are shaking.

“I’ll die knowing I tried to make it up to you,” Baekhyun whispers. Chanyeol knows this way of Baekhyun talking. He remembers Baekhyun would whispers when he wants to hold back his crying.

“See you tomorrow, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispers again before turning away. Chanyeol demands himself not to care but he knows it. He doesn’t see it, but he knows it. Baekhyun is crying.

Baekhyun keeps his word. He appears again the next day. And the day after. And the day after…

Chanyeol keeps his word. He ignores Baekhyun the next day. And the day after. And the day after…

Still, piece by piece Baekhyun changes Chanyeol’s daily routine. Chanyeol starts to check the CCTV every time he gets the chance to. He starts to go home earlier, just so Baekhyun could go home earlier too. He starts to think of weekdays as “Baekhyun-days” and weekends as “None-Baekhyun-days.” Well, with one exception. Friday is also a None-Baekhyun-day. Chanyeol wonders why Baekhyun has so many free times to stalk him. And he wonders why Baekhyun never shows up on Fridays. Does he only work on Fridays? What kind of job would that be? Where is he on Fridays?

Chanyeol has gotten a lot of things to wonder since that person messes up his life once again. But Chanyeol isn’t going to ask. It’s been a month now and things haven’t changed. Baekhyun’s patience and determination amaze him. Baekhyun has changed a lot when it comes to patience. The old Baekhyun wouldn’t even wait to buy ice cream when there are more than 3 people waiting. The old Baekhyun would never admit his mistakes. The old Baekhyun would rather die than apologize. Maybe Baekhyun has changed?

-----------------------

After his business trip that lasted for 3 weeks, the first day back to his office is a relief. Almost like being home. To be fair his office is his second home anyway. Going through the daily routine and seeing the familiar faces are comforting him. And without knowing it, the sigh of Baekhyun at the entrance has become a routine that he doesn’t hate that much. After 3 weeks, seeing Baekhyun again is … he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel. He tells himself he hates that person. But why didn’t he tell the security to blacklist Baekhyun in the first place?

If he doesn’t want to see that face, he can find a way. But he didn’t.

If he wants real peace, he would have forgiven Baekhyun. Or he could have faked forgiveness. But he didn’t.

Either way, he could have gotten rid of Byun Baekhyun. But he didn’t.

Out of the eye corner, Chanyeol sees Baekhyun. Immediately, he notices changes on Baekhyun. The small male lost a lot of weights. How is it possible for a slim person to lose more weights? And Baekhyun has started wearing a cap every day. He wears it the whole day even though he was inside the building. Day by day Baekhyun seems to lose weights every time Chanyeol sees him. He looks pale and tired. Chanyeol realizes Baekhyun wouldn’t last long. He barely eats or drinks, waiting for Chanyeol the whole day. Chanyeol knows Baekhyun would give up soon. The old Baekhyun wouldn’t even try.

Chanyeol is about to rethink this game. Maybe he should hear Baekhyun out.

The next Friday is a surprise as Chanyeol notices Baekhyun. He didn’t expect to see the small male today.

“Chanyeol, can we please end this theater?” Baekhyun calls through the distance. Chanyeol was soft yesterday. And still, as soon as Baekhyun talks to him, he chooses to activate the shield to his heart.

“Please,” Baekhyun pleads once again.

“You can apologize all you want. Saying sorry can’t undo your sins. I almost gave up my life when it’s you who deserve death.”

By that Baekhyun bites on his lower lips so hard it bleeds. A tear escapes from his eye as soon as Chanyeol turns his back to him, leaving. He stares at Chanyeol until the tall man is out of sight, knowing it is his last chance to see Chanyeol. Taking a deep breath, he goes to the young receptionist who has become a friend to him. They don’t always talk since Baekhyun doesn’t want to disturb her. But she encouraged him, telling him not to give up. And that means a lot to him.

“Can you please give this to Chanyeol?” Baekhyun hands over a letter.

“Sure. But don’t you want to give it to him personally?” She asks.

“I don’t think I’ll get the chance to,” Baekhyun replies, forcing a smile.

“What do you mean?”

“Thank you for being so nice to me. I appreciate it, I really do. Please take care of Chanyeol.” Baekhyun says his farewell and heads to the exits, knowing it’ll be the last time leaving this building.

Once again Chanyeol checks the CCTV but this time he doesn’t expect to find the white couch empty. Did Baekhyun give up? Was that his farewell and Chanyeol didn’t notice it? Did he break Byun Baekhyun? Did he win this sick game?

“Mr. Park.” On his way home, Chanyeol stops as the young receptionist calls his name.

“Mr. Byun asked me to give you this,” she said, handing Chanyeol the letter.

“Throw it away,” he orders.

“Well played, Byun Baekhyun. But not on my watch,” Chanyeol thought. He won’t make it easy for this man.

Chanyeol doesn’t want any of Baekhyun’s lame excuses, neither spoken or written. And he’ll tell Baekhyun that when he sees Baekhyun tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes. That was the last time he saw Byun Baekhyun in this foyer. Since that day Baekhyun hasn’t shown up again. As suddenly as he came, as suddenly did Baekhyun leave his life again.

It’s weird when the old daily routine that you had for years suddenly become something that takes getting used too. Waking up, going to work isn't something he awaits anymore. Checking the CCTV isn’t needed anymore. Life has just become boring again. Chanyeol wouldn’t say it out loud, but he wants to know what happened? Did Baekhyun give up for real? Did Chanyeol break that stubborn egoist? What did Baekhyun want to say? Could Baekhyun have changed his mind? There are days Chanyeol wakes up and he wonders what was written in that letter? Was it a mistake to throw it away?

“Mr. Park,” the receptionist’s voice wakes up Chanyeol from his daydream. He has been standing in the foyer, staring at the empty couch where Baekhyun used to sit.

“Good morning,” he greets.

“Can I please talk to you for a moment?”

“Of course.”

“I know I’m supposed to throw it away. But I thought you should read it,” she says, handing over a letter. Chanyeol immediately recognizes it. Baekhyun’s letter.

At this point, Chanyeol doesn’t want to fight back his pride anymore. He doesn’t want to fight back the instinct that tells him never to get involved in Byun Baekhyun again. He just wants to shut his mind up and read the damned letter.

“Dear Chanyeollie,

if you’re reading this, then I failed to apologize to you, didn’t I?

I wish I could have told you this face to face, but I’m afraid we’ll never meet again.
There are so many things I wanted to tell you but none of it matters anymore.
I tried to find excuses... for you but more likely for myself. I told myself I was too young. That I didn’t know better.
But the truth was, I was just an idiot ... and an .
When I heard about what you did because of me, I was a coward. It was easier to run away.
I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to stay. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you how much I regretted my actions.
If I could go back in time, I would take all the pains for you.

You were right. I’ll die knowing that you hate me… that you didn’t forgive me. And I deserve it. But I wish I could have taken away your hate for me. Because as bad as it is to be hated. Hating someone is worse, isn’t it? I’m sorry I made you.

It might take months or years or even longer for you to forgive me. And I won’t be able to witness it, but still, I hope you can let go of that terrible feeling of hatred because you deserve nothing but happiness.

I wish you all the best in life. Please be happy, Chanyeollie.

I’m sorry I ed up again. I will make it up to you in the next life.

Byun Baekhyun”

Only as a tear lands on the paper, Chanyeol notices he’s crying. Those words, why do they sound like Baekhyun’s farewell?

“Mr. Park, there is one more thing." The young woman says, and Chanyeol holds in his breath, sensing more bad news to come.

To be continued 
(Or not. You decide ^^)