“Eunha? Are you even listening to me?” 

SinB poked her best friend with a fork, breaking Eunha out of her thoughts. It was mid afternoon, but it was also their first meal of the day. Sowon was out again, but their leader had been up early and had errands to run, so SinB decided to go hang out with Eunha instead.

Except Eunha had been rather distracted since the gunslinger found her sitting alone in the common area, flipping channels on the television restlessly. It was rare enough to find the mage away from Yuju for once, but since Eunha wasn’t overtly panicking about the shaman’s whereabouts, SinB assumed that it must have been Yerin babysitting the other girl right now. SinB couldn’t understand how Eunha and Yerin worked out who got to spend time with Yuju, and honestly it all seemed so unnecessarily complicated. If Yuju could just choose properly for once, they wouldn’t all be stuck like this, and Eunha could have some closure at least.

“Uh, so you and Sowon?” Eunha tried futilely to cover for her distraction. SinB narrowed her eyes at her best friend.

“No, actually, Umji was asking me if I could help her get something but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Eunha tried to tune back into the conversation, but half of her was still waiting to hear from either Yuju or Yerin upstairs. Yuju had not been in her own room earlier when she woke up and went to check, but she easily picked up the shaman’s presence in the next room over. Yerin’s room, but that was little surprise in itself. Yerin had obviously come back late last night, and Yuju must have been waiting up for her. Eunha could go in to check on them, but she knew Yerin was intensely private, and she didn’t want to risk having knives thrown at her again.

“I’m not an expert but some of those seem to be explosive. I wouldn’t even know where to start looking.” SinB shrugged, shovelling more noodles into . Well, she thought Yerin might know where to get those, but that came back to the original question: should she even be procuring explosives for their youngest member?

“Maybe talk to Sowon about it?” Eunha suggested, nibbling distractedly at her spoon as her eyes wandered over to the stairs again. SinB grimaced.

“Feels like snitching. I don’t wanna get Umji in trouble, plus I do kinda want to see what she’s planning to do. Kid has some wicked cool ideas.”

Eunha smiled, remembering the number of explosions Umji and Yuju used to generate when they had been working on their pet project together. Yuju had hardly been in the best of conditions for the past few months however, and so that had to be shelved for the moment. Umji still kept busy though, and Eunha was quite fond of the young hacker during their lesson times. It was rather charming to be in a position to teach, even if the skills she transmitted were not strictly speaking her own.

Footsteps on the stairs drew Eunha’s attention immediately, and her eyes lit up at the sight of Yuju yawning widely as the shaman came downstairs. Yuju’s eyes were still half closed as she shuffled over to the dining area, and she gave off the distinct impression that she was following her nose to where the food was. Eunha rose to her feet and took Yuju’s hand before she bumped into anything, guiding the sleepy shaman to sit down next to her.

“Well you’re up early.” SinB commented sarcastically, and then protested when Eunha swiped the main portion of noodles to put in front of Yuju. The shaman blinked slowly, finally registering the others at the table, and beamed widely.

“Morning, I’m starving. ” 

SinB and Eunha exchanged slightly startled glances. Yuju seemed almost like her old self for once, if still slightly groggy despite waking up so late in the day. Eunha refocused back to Yuju, taking in the shaman with a more critical eye. 

Yuju was almost glowing, and there was more energy in her movements as she dug into the food with gusto. She also wasn’t wearing the same clothes Eunha last saw her in the night before. That gave the fire mage some pause. Did something happen last night?

“Where’s Yerin anyway? Umji was looking for her earlier.” SinB commented as she tried to steal a sausage roll off Eunha’s plate. Despite Eunha’s distraction, she most definitely did not tolerate food theft, and SinB’s fork retreated empty-tined and slightly scorched.

Yuju’s eyes unfocused for a second, and Eunha tensed out of habit, but the shaman snapped back almost instantly, looking over at SinB to answer her question.

“She’s still sleeping, I’ll let her know later.” There was absolute certainty in Yuju’s tone, and an odd note of possessive pride in there. Something uneasy crawled in Eunha’s stomach, and she was sure it wasn’t the food. 

“Still?” SinB looked surprised. Yerin wasn’t the type to sleep in, even if she did come back late last night. At the very least, SinB had never seen the older woman stay in bed beyond noon, and it was almost 3 in the afternoon now. Now, if it had been herself or Eunha, that was still likely because the pair were night owls and sleeping in came with the territory. Yerin always seemed too disciplined to do that, so SinB’s surprise was fairly justified.

“She’s tired.” Yuju stated matter-of-factly, going back to inhaling her food without pause. Eunha and SinB looked at each other again, the pair of childhood friends wary of the sudden shift in Yuju’s behavior. When the shaman had been lethargic and bordering on depressed for months, sudden changes were odd to say the least. 

Eunha quietly shifted her perception into the astral realm, studying Yuju for any changes. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but seeing Yuju actually glowing somewhat brighter than before was unnerving to say the least. Her aura wasn’t as bright as it used to be before the fight with the imugi, but compared to the dim glow and irregular patches of shadow of yesterday, her astral form seemed to shine more steadily instead of flickering on and off. It should have been a good sign, but Eunha was still uneasy. Something had to have happened to make it this way, and she wasn’t sure what. And with all the things going on with the shaman, uncertainty was a bad thing.

If Yuju noticed Eunha scanning her, she didn’t show it. It didn’t last long, however. The fork she was holding clattered back down onto the plate as Yuju frowned suddenly, rising to her feet in one smooth motion. Eunha and SinB didn’t even have time to react before the shaman went loping back up the stairs three at a time, vanishing down the hallway before they could even blink.

SinB stared at the second floor for a couple of seconds, surprised by how fast Yuju had been moving, then looked back down at Eunha, who seemed disturbed somehow.

“Is it me or is she being weirder than usual?”

Eunha put down her spoon, appetite mostly gone. The fire mage looked upstairs for a moment, biting her lip. 

"I think I'll go check on them." 

"You do that." SinB waved her off vaguely, taking the chance to raid what was left on Eunha's plate. "Holler if you need help."

Eunha nodded distractedly, turning to head upstairs. Something seemed different today, and she was determined to find out what. She had a bad feeling about all this though. Hopefully she was just imagining things, but Yuju's behavior earlier hadn't reassured her in the slightest. 

It's probably nothing, she's just doing better today. Right? 

It was the loss of warmth more than anything else that woke Yerin, her consciousness swimming sluggishly to the surface as she sought the comfort of her partner’s embrace. A sleepy frown tugged at her lips as she rolled over, pulling the blankets closer to herself in lieu of finding someone to cuddle with, and burying her face deeper into the pillow.

Yerin had spent so long being on edge that it felt weird to be totally relaxed right now, stretching luxuriously like a cat and feeling her still sore muscles ache pleasantly. Part of the blankets slipped away as she did that, revealing bare shoulders underneath. Not having her puppy next to her when she woke was a minor disappointment, but Yerin didn’t have much time to muse over that before the door slammed open forcefully, bringing the exact person she had been thinking about right to her.

“Morning.” Yerin greeted her puppy lazily even as Yuju burrowed back into bed with her, the pup nuzzling at her in greeting. 

“How are you feeling?” Yuju sounded concerned, studying her partner intensely, as if afraid Yerin might break or something. Yerin quirked her lips wryly, looping both arms around Yuju’s neck and snuggling up against her fully clothed puppy. It felt nice being so close together, especially after last night.

“A little sore, but whose fault is that?” Yerin teased, grinning as Yuju flushed. Yerin didn’t let up, poking Yuju in the cheek in mock admonishment. “You didn’t have to bite me like that either, you know.”

“I--” Yuju ground her teeth together, sulking slightly. She had gotten a little carried away last night, and in her defense had immediately used her magic to heal Yerin when she accidentally drew blood from biting too hard into her shoulder. The feedback from doing that had been veryinteresting, and they hadn’t gotten much sleep the entire night. 

“It’s okay babe, I didn’t really mind that much.” Yerin reassured Yuju, kissing the tip of the sulky pup’s nose. “You’re cute when you’re worked up anyway.”

“ Yerin… ” The shaman whined in embarrassment, burying her face into the assassin’s neck. Yerin snickered, tugging lightly on Yuju’s ear.

“Watch where you’re putting your hands, I actually plan to get out of bed at some point today.”

“Getting out of bed is overrated.” Yuju pouted cutely, shaking her head under the blankets. “Stay here with me today.”

Yuju’s hands were definitely wandering more than a little, and Yerin growled, flipping Yuju onto her back and pinning the puppy down in mock annoyance. Yuju blinked innocently, eyeing Yerin appreciatively as the blankets slid down to reveal the assassin’s still form. 

To her credit, Yerin didn’t even blush. Why would she? She had nothing to be ashamed of.

“I’m actually hungry, puppy. And don’t give me that look, you just ate something yourself.” Yerin leaned down and off the spot of sauce at the corner of Yuju’s lips. “Be a good girl and stay put, I’m going to go freshen up.”

Yuju whined softly in protest as Yerin slid easily off her, the shaman’s eyes glued to her lover’s svelte figure as Yerin moved to the bathroom. Before she stepped in, Yerin turned her head around to fix Yuju with a stern gaze.

“Don’t even think about it, puppy.” 

Yuju puffed out her cheeks, shifting a little guiltily from where she was sitting on the bed. Was it really that obvious that she wanted to follow Yerin into the bathroom? The shaman kicked at the blankets in frustration. There were drawbacks to this whole arrangement, but at least now the distance between her and Yerin was basically close to zero. Even through the closed door, she could still sense Yerin’s good mood, and it made her grin goofily in response.

Someone knocked on the door, and Yuju cocked her head at the sound, reaching out with her magical senses automatically to determine the identity of the person at the door. The familiar signature made her smile, and the shaman idly sent a tendril of magic to pull the door open, too lazy to remove herself from bed. 

“Yuju?” Eunha seemed mildly surprised at the door opening on its own, but she got over it quickly, focusing on the girl lounging on the rumpled bedsheets. The shaman waved lazily, rolling back onto the pillows as she stretched like a great cat, the too-small shirt she had borrowed from Yerin’s closet riding up to reveal her toned abdomen. It was fairly distracting to Eunha, and she had to pull her eyes away as she stepped into the room, glancing around to look for Yerin.

“She’s in the shower.” Yuju intuited from Eunha’s gesture, inclining her head at the attached bathroom. The same bathroom connected to Yuju’s own room as well, and the shaman once again considered entering it from her side, but Yerin had already told her no, and Yuju wasn’t likely to disobey her. Even if it was tempting to do so.

The sounds of water running gave weight to Yuju’s words, and Eunha turned back to face the shaman, who was rolling around in bed like the giant puppy she was. The sight made Eunha smile, and she approached the bed to sit on the edge, ruffling Yuju’s hair affectionately and making the younger girl pout as she held up her arms to defend herself.

“You’re feeling better today.” Eunha observed, studying Yuju intently. The shaman shrugged, distracted as her eyes wandered back to the bathroom door, ears perked to listen for movement. Eunha followed her gaze, taking in the rest of the room as she did. 

Yerin was always very neat and all her things were usually sorted properly and put away out of sight when she didn’t need them, so it stood out instantly when anything was out of place. The bedside table was in disarray, and a discarded towel peeked out half hidden from under the bed. Eunha’s eye twitched, a rising suspicion surfacing almost unwillingly as the clues started coming in. 

Yuju sat up suddenly, almost before the water had stopped running in the bathroom. The shaman bounded off the bed and detoured briefly to the drawers to pull out a fresh towel, before moving to wait patiently at the bathroom door like a puppy waiting for its master to come home. Eunha’s stomach fell, because this felt oddly familiar. Yuna used to be incredibly clingy too, especially after they had…

“Puppy, could you get me a towel?” Yerin’s voice accompanied the sound of the bathroom door clicking open, and Yuju moved quickly to practically smother Yerin with said towel before Eunha even got to get a glimpse of the other woman. There was a possessively protective aura radiating off the shaman, and Eunha didn’t even have to be a mage to read that. The bunny’s eyes reddened, her fists clenching on the sheets as Yerin chuckled, pulling Yuju in for a lingering kiss. If the shaman had a tail, it would positively be wagging right now.

It was Yerin who first noticed they were not alone in the room, her hair still dripping from the quick shower she had taken as she peeked over Yuju’s shoulder, the taller girl quite seriously drying her off with the towel and totally ignoring the fact that Eunha was still there. Their eyes met, and Yerin looked almost apologetic even as she batted lightly at Yuju’s arm to keep the puppy from touching her inappropriately. 

“I-I’m just going to go now.” Eunha muttered, leaping off the bed as if it burned her. The sound of Eunha’s voice seemed to remind Yuju of her presence, and the shaman tensed, turning around even as the fire mage fled the room. Yerin tsked quietly, bopping Yuju on the forehead with a knuckle as the pup turned back to her, slightly hurt by the gesture. 

“Go talk to her, dummy. She shouldn’t have had to find out like this.” Yuju looked slightly ashamed of herself, and Yerin reached up to pinch her on the cheek.

“You owe her an explanation at least. Go on, I’ll wait for you here.”

Yuju’s eyes were doubtful, and Yerin had to shove her out of the room, one hand still holding up the towel around her. “ Now, puppy. I’m not going anywhere without you tonight.”

Thus reassured, Yuju shuffled out in search of Eunha, and Yerin sighed, closing the door. It was an unfortunate complication, and Yerin hoped Yuju would be able to handle it properly. Eunha was a nice girl, and if there was anyone else she would trust Yuju with, it was her. 

The assassin massaged her temples wearily. Last night had been unplanned, but she regretted nothing. It changed a number of things, but knowing for sure that Yuju would do anything for her had been the best thing to come out of the whole experience. What happened last night was special, and Yerin would treasure it no matter how things turned out. 

She still had a little time. Suddenly she missed Yuju terribly, even though they had barely been apart for a minute. Time felt like sand passing through her fingers, and every moment was rare and precious. She felt Yuju's concern radiating through the still open connection they had, and she sent reassuring vibes back, mentally giving the puppy a pat on the head to make sure she didn't get distracted. It was too early to burn bridges, and Eunha was too important to let go of right now. It was selfish and probably unfair, but Yerin couldn't afford to play nice when so many things were at stake. They needed Eunha, if only because there was no one else Yerin could have trusted with Yuju’s current condition. Even if the shaman looked fine now, she was still a ticking time bomb so long as they hadn’t figured out what was going on with her blackouts.

There were too many factors to consider. Yerin closed her eyes, willing the niggling pain at the back of her head to go away. Small price for burning away old allegiances, and Yerin knew pain intimately. It had been something she could do for Yuju, and for herself. She would leave no loose ends, as long as she could bring herself to go through with this. 

We've come this far, Jung Yerin. No backing down now. 

But for now, at least, they had each other. If nothing else, they had that. There was always that. It had to be enough. She would make sure of it.

Yuju tracked Eunha to the balcony, the shaman eyeing the sheer heights plunging precariously all around them beyond the dubious safety of the railing with a certain nervousness. She steeled herself though, inching cautiously forward on shaking knees to approach, all while determinedly not looking down.

Eunha didn’t look at her even as she drew level with the smaller mage, and Yuju’s knuckles were white as she gripped the railing like a safety line. Heights did not agree with her, and Eunha had known this, deliberately choosing a place Yuju would hesitate to join her at. The fire mage had somewhat underestimated Yuju’s resolve to talk though, but then again, the pup had always been brave despite having any number of fears. That had never changed, past or present, and it made Eunha just a little bitter to think about it.

So many things had changed, but why was she still living in the past? The dragon orb had changed everything, and there were still days when Eunha couldn’t quite separate herself from Jung Eunbi. No matter what she said or claimed to others, she couldn’t forget the life she lived on rewind. It left a mark on her, unchangeable and irreversible, and she couldn’t let go even if she wanted to.

Yuju eyed Eunha quietly, grimly observing how despair streaked through the latter’s aura. Guilt wormed its way through her; she had not wanted to hurt Eunha like this. She cared for the other girl very much, appreciating her and enjoying her company, but when it came to Yerin… Yuju could not deny that Yerin came first, and the gnawing fear that the older woman had been on the verge of leaving her had thrown her into something akin to panic. Yerin had been distant lately, and Yuju could not, would not deal with that. They only had each other for the longest time, and no one else had the same prominence in her life.

It didn’t help that Yerin came into her life at a time when her memories were hazy at best. There was nothing, and then there was something. When she had been there, and not there. Yuju didn’t talk about it much, didn’t want or need to examine it, but she couldn’t remember a lot of how she was wandering in the wastelands, trying to find herself and remember exactly who she was. Yerin barging into her hermit-like existence had given her focus, something and someone to shape herself around, and so much of who she was now had to do with the assassin who came along and stole her heart.

There really was no other option when it came down to it. Eunha was lovely, and an important friend and partner, but Yerin was different. It had taken her entirely too long to realize this, and only the terror of losing Yerin had woken Yuju to that realization. There were so few certainties in her life, and Yerin was one of them. Something inside her was breaking, and only the familiar could keep her safe and grounded. That much Yuju was dimly aware of, and so she had taken steps the night before. No one could take Yerin from her, she would never allow it.

And then there was Eunha. Eunha, who was in love with her. The thought paralyzed Yuju with fear, a deep and unreasoning terror that rose from within, from that dark place within her she never liked looking at. Eunha’s love was pure, like the sun rising, and it hurt, somehow. The things she did not remember plagued her when she least expected it, and Yuju wanted nothing more than to avoid it at all costs. What came beforedidn’t matter anymore. She was content with what she had, with who she was now. It didn’t matter that so many parts of her past were vague fragments of pieced together memory, a tapestry she knitted together from half-assumed scraps and slivers to form an identity that made sense.

There was nothing worse than being empty inside. Existing with no sense of self. Yuju had been there, lost in the fog, and sometimes it still felt like she never really left. Yerin had taken her hands in that formless darkness, held her through the uncertainty and carved a place for her by her side. They were the same, two sides of a coin, and it was comforting being with Yerin. Yerin never asked anything of her, only that she be, and that was enough. She didn’t have to change, didn’t have to question, and she was never alone. That meant something to her, was precious and special and something to be treasured. 

It wasn’t always this way, but with Eunha, it sometimes felt like the girl saw right through her and was looking for another person. Eunha expected things of her, things Yuju wasn’t sure she could do or give. But Eunha was trying, and Yuju was not ungrateful for the love and support the fire mage had given her all this time. It mattered that Eunha had chosen her side, even after the blood magic. Some days the thirst still came upon her, and if not for Yerin and Eunha’s unwavering trust in her, Yuju wasn’t sure how long she could hold out for. It was a daily struggle, fighting the lethargy and withdrawal symptoms at the same time. Sleeping it away just made the days easier, even though she knew it worried the rest. But it was a burden only she could bear, and sharing did absolutely nothing in this case, since there was no good solution for her conundrum.

Bonding with Yerin last night though, had been a revelation. The physical intimacy filled a void within her, yes, but it was more than that. Yuju hadn’t expected the burst of energy that came with the act, and she had definitely gotten carried away towards the end. She had been magically starved for months, and it had been an unexpected source to feed from. Even then, she was careful not to hurt Yerin even by accident, knowing just what the girl had willingly given her. It was but a drop in the bone dry ocean of her reservoir, and all the more precious for it.

The silence between the two magic users stretched like an eternity between the stars, so far away and unseen in the light of day. But it was far from uncomfortable, despite Eunha grieving her lost love, and Yuju simply keeping her company in her steadfastness. I am here, was Yuju’s silent statement, but the shaman knew that alone would not be enough. 

Words were difficult, and Yuju took her time, trying to puzzle her way through the thicket of her emotions and find a way to express how much Eunha did mean to her. Because Eunha was important to her, just...not in the same way. There was a space in her heart for the tiny mage too, and she did not often make space for others there. It was crucial to convey that concept, and Yuju struggled with the words that would not come, frustrated at her own incompetence in expressing her feelings.

“Was I always too late?”

In the end, it was Eunha who broke the silence first, her gaze still fixated at a distant point on the horizon. Yuju hung her head, studying the faint scars on her own hands, her voice a low burr as she struggled to form the correct words.

“Yerin...Yerin was there when I was lost. It’s not the same.”

“So I was too late.” Eunha laughed, a little bitterly. Yuju reached out, holding Eunha’s tightly clenched fist in her hand. It was trembling in her grasp, and Yuju tightened her grip, trying to transmit her concern and resolve to the other girl.

“I care about you too, Eunha. I’m sorry.”

Eunha jerked her hand away, wisps of heat flaming ghost-like into existence as her control frayed. She was hurt and lashing out, and she knew it. But Yuju always had the right to choose. It only happened that the choice was not her, but that didn’t stop it from hurting. 

A warm hug engulfed her shaking shoulders, Yuju pulling her close to soothe her, even though every cell in her body was screaming at the pain of rejection. She didn’t want to be nice and understanding and magnanimous. She wanted to scream, cry, set something on fire. But Yuju wouldn’t let her go, and then something inside her just broke, a burst of lightning and fire erupting like a balled up shockwave with them at the center. 

Fortunately, Yuju was prepared, containing the energy burst within a field of her own. She couldn’t neutralize it, but she could hold it in, prevent it from exploding outwards and damaging anything beyond a three feet radius. The tile beneath their feet warped under the intense heat, and Yuju herself was scorched pretty badly, but the shaman gave no complaint, letting Eunha ride out the wave of her surging emotions. The fire mage herself was not hurt by her own outburst, her skin automatically armoring up with heat-resistant scales, a legacy of her absorption of the power of the dragon orb from before. 

The aroma of burnt flesh brought Eunha abruptly back to her senses, and she gagged reflexively as she realized what she had done, struggling to push away from Yuju. But the shaman held steadfast, healing right through the damage the flames had made, her clothes a tattered mess since she couldn’t properly protect herself while still containing the flames from the burst earlier. At the height of her power, doing both would not be an issue, but Yuju felt keenly the lack of energy reserves she could reliably draw on. She had the control, but her core was still weakened from her previous injuries. It was one or the other, and Yuju chose to protect the rest of the house from Eunha’s outburst, only putting up an incomplete shield for herself to bear the brunt of the damage. 

“I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have…” Eunha blubbered incoherently, horror and guilt twisting through her gut. She had done so well for so long that she had forgotten what her fire could do. All it took was a little loss of control, and the damage she did could be incalculable. She could have burned it all down, if Yuju hadn’t been there. It was horrid, and she had hurt Yuju as well...

“It’s okay. I’m fine. I can heal.” Yuju reassured her, hugging the terrified fire mage close despite the tender skin on her arms and abdomen. “I’m sorry for hurting you too. You’re important to me, Eunha. I’m just sorry I can’t give you more.”

Eunha buried her face into Yuju’s chest, hiding the tears that came unbidden. She wept for herself, for the love she had lost fifty years ago in a past that wasn’t even really her own, and for the simple fact that she was still in love with the Yuju who would sooner let herself be burnt than let her do something she would regret. Yuju murmured comfortingly to her, a steadfast pillar of strength despite everything, offering the little she could at this time.

But even that little meant a lot. Eunha choked back a sob as she removed herself from Yuju’s front, wrinkling her face when Yuju patiently wiped away the snot from her nose with her sleeve. The shaman looked slightly comical with the tips of her hair burnt away unevenly, and suddenly, despite herself, Eunha giggled, reaching up to toy with the burnt ends. Yuju looked down helplessly, unsure of what to do with a suddenly hysterical Eunha, but the fire mage only tugged at the uneven segments of Yuju’s hair thoughtfully.

“You’re going to need a haircut.”

Yuju blinked, then glanced around them. The white tile on the balcony was charred beyond repair, but at least that was the extent of it. It could have been so much worse, and it was a testament to how much damage Eunha could inflict even when she wasn’t particularly trying. The fire mage was powerful, more powerful than Yuju herself was right now -- at least, if the shaman never drew on blood magic to cast. 

“How are we going to explain this to Sowon?” 

Eunha and Yuju looked at each other, then burst out laughing at the same time. Eunha leaned into Yuju, tears falling from her eyes, though this time at least it was more from laughter than anything else.

They were still friends, despite everything. It still hurt of course, and it would continue to hurt for a while, but she was going to be okay. They were going to be okay, somehow. Yuju was still here, despite her hurting the other girl, and Eunha supposed it was almost fair, whatever fair was. There was nothing fair in the battleground of emotions, really, but Eunha thought she could almost be satisfied with the outcome. 

It was almost a relief for everything to be out in the open, and though Yuju was more careful around her now, Eunha supposed that she could at least start trying to let go. Yuju had made her choice, and she would respect it. She still loved the girl, but feelings didn’t fade instantly. It would take some time. They still cared for each other, and that would be enough. 

Eunha smiled, softly and sadly to herself. She just needed a little time. Surely, they had that at least? She didn’t know, but she was willing to try. 

It was the only thing she had left, after all.