You silently observed Jihyun dragging Taehyung to the seats at one of the front rows.

When did it happen? Have they had feelings for each other for a while now? Then what were you to him all this time?  

The lake within, which you had tried to freeze over, was now swirling with undercurrents again, stronger than you will allow yourself to let on. You looked down at the table top where your notepad was resting on and tried to focus on just breathing. But some of your breaths get caught and you either forcefully pushed them out or swallowed them in again.  

“Sunbaenim~ woooo~ are you our teaching assistant for this class? Our TA??”, you heard the same squawky voice blast across the room again. Without lifting your head you glanced towards the entrance, eyes blurry.  

There is truth when people say trouble does not come alone, it likes to come in groups.  

The teaching assistant strutted with such confidence, her wavy long hair bouncing as though they had a life of their own. She was known to be smart, she was pretty, she was Hyesoo. Her eyes scanned the students in the class shrewdly, that was when her eyes momentarily met yours. The distant contact still managed to made you shudder, and she smirks a little.  

—

The lecturer was mumbling something about the evolution of Van Gogh’s styles, but Taehyung was obviously not paying attention. His eyes weren’t even blinking. But for the slight heaving of his chest indicating a sign of breathing, he could pass off as a well-chiseled statue.  

He knew that his relationship with Jihyun would hurt you, how could he not. But he shouldn’t be concerned about your feelings anymore. The level of concern warranted for an ex-girlfriend should be ranked below a stranger in his arbitrary hierachy. Yes, it should be. For sure. But are you alright? Please don’t let him see you cry.  

Taehyung turns to look at Hyesoo sitting in the corner front row seat, typing away on a small laptop. He shouldn’t be concerned at all. Yes, he shouldn’t. Not at all. But will you be ok? Hyesoo never really liked you since forever. He searches his memory for any recollection.  

—

During the arts faculty freshman camp, Taehyung and you were sorted into the same orientation group, and Hyesoo was one of the seniors in charge. It was common for seniors to break-in their juniors by bringing them out for drinks on the first night of the camp. Taehyung was never one fond of alcohol and he hated the taste of soju the most.  

“What kind of man can’t drink soju~, Taehyung-ah! Let’s do a love shot!”, Hyesoo was slurring, but she was attractive even then.  

“Sunbaenim~ I really can’t drink alcohol. Sunbaenim shouldn’t drink so much too, it’s bad for your health, let’s use cider instead”, Taehyung flashes a little aegyo to get out of the situation.  

“Are you disregarding me? A hoobae shouldn’t reject a senior’s drink offer even if you don’t like it… or do you just not want to do the love shot with me?”, Hyesoo whined in an attempted-pitiable tone while holding out the soju glass.  

The stares around started to grow awkward, Taehyung still hesitated to take the glass. He was internally begging for someone to do something, but she was a senior, who was going to do anything and risk offending her?  

After a stifling pause, you stood up falteringly and took the glass out of Hyesoo’s hand, “Sunbaenim, I’ll take it instead”. You downed the shot in one go, then you gave her your best genuine smile trying to diffuse the tension, although it was obvious you were still trembling a little.  

The others at the table started cheering you for being Taehyung’s “white knight”, some of them cat-calling and some teasing that Taehyung should grant you a wish now. That was the first time Taehyung’s heart started to flutter for you. Hyesoo, on the other hand, must have felt like she was slighted, and she mumbled beneath her breath, “Who does she think she is…”

—

“That’s all for today. As an introductory assignment, there is currently an exhibition at the modern art museum that centres around modern art inspired by Van Gogh’s various styles. I would like all of you to find time to go and have a look and submit a one-page report on it. Deadline is next week, hand it in to Hyesoo by the end of the next class”, the professor instructed.  

Usually you would be eager to leave the classroom once the lecture was over, but you somehow disliked the idea of walking down the rows of seats and potentially passing by Taehyung, Jihyun or Hyesoo. You felt safer watching them leave first. So, you slouched on your seat a little, packing up your things in the slowest pace possible, trying hard not to be too obvious that you were stalling time.  

Your mind was so focused on what you were avoiding that you did not realise Haejoong still sat next to you, watching your sloth-like motion.  

“Y/N”, he suddenly called you, and your head snapped up to remember that he was still here. “It’s my first time in a pure arts module, I’m really not sure what to do or expect of this assignment. Is it too much if I asked you to help me with it?”, he enquired with the same warm tone.  

“Sure, let me know if you need help then”, you replied, although with a tint of hesitance.  

“As a start, can we go to the exhibition together then this weekend? Only if you are ok with it…” He was too polite to reject so you agreed.

—

The exhibition was not that fantastic actually. You spent some time explaining to Haejoong some of the technical art terms. The two of you eventually ended up in front of one slightly more intriguing painting.  

“Y/N!”, someone suddenly called out and her voice made all the muscles in your upper body tense up.  

You turned around to see Jihyun, unsurprisingly, with Taehyung next to her.  

“What a coincidence that we bump into each other here”, she exclaimed. Taehyung’s eyes fluttered between looking at you and the man next to you.  

You let out the small puff of air you were holding in. “It’s not that coincidental, it’s the assignment isn’t it?” You avoided them so well up to now, but this dreaded moment has finally occurred.  

Her face turned downcast from hearing your unfriendly response, “Y/N, we have been wanting to tell you this in person. We’re sorry we didn’t get to do it and… I guess fate has a way, since we bumped into each other today, let’s have dinner together.”  

We. Us. You suddenly realised that these collective terms now only referred to the two of them. But when you were dating Taehyung, they more often than not, referred to three people. It’s not fair.  

You looked at Taehyung briefly, the first time you were standing in such proximity to him ever since you broke up with him. Yet, just meeting his eyes sent turmoil into the currents within you, so you quickly shifted your eyes towards the far end of the exhibition room. Calm down. They must already know you feel like . You don’t need to prove that they are right.

“Let’s not”, you uttered, forcing yourself to look back at Jihyun again.  

“Y/N, I know what you must be thinking of us but… we wanted to explain things to you, can we just buy you dinner once?”, she insisted.

“Explanations” – a reason or justification given for an action. For you, whatever the reason or justification may be, it will change nothing. They want to buy you dinner? Or do they just want to buy out their conscience?  

“I don’t want to”, you rejected again.  

“Why are you being so hostile when we are trying to make things right here. Taehyung, why aren’t you saying anything…”, she gripes, her usual demeanour overtaking her forced politeness earlier.  

You waited for a few seconds. Taehyung looked nervously between Jihyun and you. It took you nothing to recognise that he is struggling again.  

Jihyun starts to frown at his lack of response. “Tae -”, she was about to say something but was promptly cut-off.  

“She said she doesn’t want to. Why would you force someone to have dinner with you?”, Haejoong stepped in.  

All three of you looked at Haejoong in surprise. Jihyun, because she did not even notice that he was there, Taehyung, because there was an inexplicably y feeling brewing inside him, and you, because …  

“Let’s go, I’ll buy you dinner instead, since you are helping me with the assignment”, Haejoong turns to beam at you before taking you gently by your wrist and guiding you to follow him. Your eyes never left his face after that moment, even as you stumbled behind him out of the exhibition hall. Once you were outside, he notices your staring.  

“Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?”, he was only asking out of concern.  

“No, no. It’s just… just because…”, you stuttered without knowing what to actually reply.  

… because what he just did was all you ever wanted Taehyung to have done for you, even once.  

—

“Kim Taehyung, why didn’t you back me up?”, Jihyun demanded as the two of them watched Haejoong lead you away. She was just standing next to him, her voice must have been loud and clear, but in his head, she sounded far removed. The centre of his attention was occupied solely by the scene of that man taking you away and how you looked at nobody else but him.  

Haejoong did it so effortlessly, because he was not caught between his best friend and his girlfriend. The y feeling Taehyung is having now, it must be his envy that Haejoong has the easy way out. It has to be. He can’t be jealous of anything else.  

But the sounds in Taehyung’s head whispers a different story to him. Were you happy now? Because of that guy? Is he going to be by your side now? It’s not fair.