To anyone who actually DOES care, 

I don't know where my life is anymore... when the girl I loved left me, she took my happiness away. I don't know where she is or if she cares, but now I'm alone with feelings that once were there. On the first day of junior year high school, I entered my home room class and recognized no one. It simply remained that way until the teacher gave us a project to do. I was paired with Yoona Im, who I acted coldly to at first. Yoona greeted me with a warm smile and opened me up day by day. 

"Kim Ryeowook? I'm Im Yoona. I hope that we can work together well." Even now those first words play over and over in my head. As our project progressed, she opened me up like a box and filled me with courage and a final enthusiasm to learn. Before, I hadn't had any real interest in anything. As a new student to the school, I figured that it was only two more years. I didn't want to make friendships or relationships that I'd have to abandon so soon. My whole life had been about constantly moving and leaving behind friendships and girlfriends, so I decided to forget about those. 

"Ryeowook, can I sit with you?" Yoona had asked me one day at lunch. I had just stared at her cuz I was kind of surprised. From day one of school, I had sat alone. No one had dared to become my friend because by now all the groups and cliques had been formed. 

"I guess so..." I had replied. She could sit here but that ddidn't mean that we'd talk or share eye contact or snything. But without realizing, I was dragged into a conversation in which I contributed more than she said. I was actually surprised myself. 

The day after, Yoona brought other friends with her to eat with me. I didn't like that. all I really wanted was just me and Yoona. For that luunch period, I didn't say a word. Yoona noticed that I had felt uncomfortable and was more careful the next time. 

After this, me and Yoona sat together for lunch alone. Just me and her. I felt a bit bad for creating a distance between her and her other friends, so one day I told her, "If you want, you can go sit with your other friends." 

"But I know you don't feel comfortable with them..." Yoona had replied. 

"But I don't want to force you to eat with me. You had other friends before I came along and me not wanting anyone else around is unfair to you. I want you to be happy," I replied, my heart tightening inside of me. 

It was quiet for a while but after a long silence Yoona spoke up, "I'd rather sit with you. I can talk to you better." she replied. 

I felt my heart loosen up and jump inside of me. I felt myself blush and smile for the first time. I recognized this feeling. I'd just fallen in love. I kept my feelings to myself. 

Then... 

In June, Yoona told me, "Ryeowook, I'm moving to another school. I got accepted into an Ivy League." 

"When will you be leaving?" I anxiously asked. 

"June 21st," Yoona replied. 

My birthday... "Must you go?" I felt a pain in my chest. 

"Yes, I'm sorry Ryeowook." Yoona confirmed. 

Of course I was sent to school on my birthday and surely enough, when I entered homeroom, she wasn't there. Maybe she's just late... I was merely creating excuses to satisfy myself. 

At lunchtime, I waited for her but no one came. As I ate my lunch someone sat sown at the table with me. I peered up and saw Yoona. I was shocked but happy at the same time. "Yoona, where were you?" 

"I'm only here for a bit. I have to leave soon. I just wanted to come and say 'happy birthday'." 

A smile spread across my face. She had remembered. 

"...And goodbye," Yoona handed me a bag, "This is your birthday gift."

The smile left my face, "Must you go?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I will always remember you, Ryeowook." Yoona hugged me but I didn't hug her back.

"Yoona." I had intended to tell her how I felt when school ended for summer, but... "I love you." Why was it that when I didn't have to move, my other half did? 

Yoona just smiled, "I love you too... as a friend." 

"No Yoona, I love you more than a friend. Will you be my girlfriend?" I was anxious. 

"..." Yoona pursed her lips and sighed, "Ryeowook, I guess I should have made it clear... I have a boyfriend... and he's the reason why I tried so hard to make it there." 

"..." My eyes blurred with tears. I knew a man shouldn't cry but...

"I'm sorry, Ryeowook. I should've told you," Yoona apologized, "I got to go now. Goodbye." 

My blurred vision didn't allow me to see her leave. I guess that there was only one thing for a coward like me to do: to let her go.

That once love, I'm now putting down. I'm going to college now because she taught me to not give up. Although she has marked my love line on my hand, my heart has put her down. That's just how life is.

Don't pity me,

김려욱