The Truth Is

Our Youth Hurts

“L-Love?” Jinyoung stammered, his heart flooding with adrenaline and begging him to flee the scene and into safety. “M-Mark?”

 

“I’m not asking to make you feel bad or bully you or anything,” Jackson said quickly. “I’m just worried because if you are in love with him, I don’t want you to have to go through any of the worries and difficulties involved with that alone. That’s all it is! If you want me to screw off, I will definitely screw off.”

 

Jinyoung couldn’t speak for a moment. It didn’t bother him so much that Jackson knew about him being gay. It was just that Jackson was Mark’s friend. What if he’d mentioned it to Mark? Or, if it was obvious enough that Jackson had seen it, what if Mark had seen it, too?

 

Who cares if Jackson told Mark, you idiot?, Jinyoung reminded himself. Ian is going to tell him anyways. And honestly, would Jackson even do that, to begin with? He’s never struck me as that kind of person. He probably means it when he says he just wants to help.

 

And Jinyoung did need help, he knew. He desperately needed help. It probably wouldn’t be too long before Mark was aware of the truth, and Jinyoung still didn’t know the first thing about how he was supposed to move forward with Mark knowing.

 

So when he finally responded to Jackson, he didn’t deny it. He just said, softly, “How did you know?”

 

“How you look at him,” Jackson said simply. “I mean, I’ve dated a few people here and there, and I would have killed for one of them to look at me like how you look at him.”

 

“How do I look at him?” Jinyoung asked.

 

“There’s no way to describe it, right? You just recognize it when you see it. Or at least, some people would recognize it. Us romantics of the world. Mark, I really don’t think he has a clue.”

 

“Good,” Jinyoung said. “But the thing is, he’s going to soon. Someone at school is planning on outing me to him.”

 

“WHAT?!?” Jackson asked in alarm. “Are you serious?”

 

“Unfortunately. It’s Ian.” Now that Jinyoung was finally saying it to someone, it was borderline flooding out of him. “Back when I hung out a lot with Mark in 5th grade, Ian somehow figured it out that I had a crush on Mark, because I did back then, already. I still can’t figure out how he knew because that was when I first realized that I was gay, and I knew better to be obvious about it, especially at school. But he found out, and he threatened that he would tell Mark about it. I freaked out and told him I would do anything he wanted if he didn’t tell, which was stupid, I know, but I didn’t realize just how terrible he was back then. I was actually really surprised when he said that all he wanted me to do was stay away from Mark. He said that if I continued to hang around him, I’d make Mark look bad or make people think he was gay, too, and he didn’t want that to happen because Mark attracted a lot of pretty girls to their friend group, and Ian wanted a girlfriend.” Jinyoung grimaced. “The whole ‘girlfriend’ part didn’t sound as bad as it turned out to be in actuality. He basically dated through all the girls who were interested in Mark after tricking them into thinking he was going to help set them up with him. If I had known, I maybe wouldn’t have…or at least I hope I wouldn’t have made the same decision. I don’t know. I was just an eleven year-old kid. And I was scared.”

 

“Well of course you were!” Jackson said, looking uncharacteristically furious. “God, that ! Are you telling me that he didn’t even view Mark as a friend this whole time, just as a tool for him to be a prepubescent Casanova?”

 

Jinyoung nodded grimly.

 

“God, I want to ing punch him in the face! Who does he think he is to mess around with my bestie? And what he did to you was just as bad.” He gave a nearby pillow a frustrated whack. “God, and what’s worse is that er may not have even known if it was true that you were actually gay, initially. If I know anything about boys that age, it’s that they call whoever they don’t like ‘gay,’ because it usually causes the other person to panic and puts them at a disadvantage. I know that’s terrible, but he seems like just that kind of terrible person.”

 

“Well, he knows it’s true now,” Jinyoung said flatly. “And worse, he found out that Mark and I have gotten close again, and if I don’t lure another one of Mark’s admirers to him, he’s going to tell Mark all about me and my thing for him.”

 

Jackson’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not going to do it, are you?”

 

“Of course, I’m not! I hate how that creep takes advantage of girls just as much as I hated how he took advantage of Mark!” Jinyoung slumped against his bedframe. “But…that means he’s going to tell Mark, and I’m scared about what will happen if Mark knows.”

 

“Look, Jinyoung, Mark’s the last person on earth who would hate you for that.”

 

“I know,” Jinyoung said firmly. “I know that. But I’m just not…I’m just not ready to be rejected by him.” He placed the heels of his hands over his eyes to hold back the threatening tears. “I like him so much, and just thinking of him knowing that and not feeling the same and feeling sorry for me about it…it would just be so humiliating. He would be nice enough to stay my friend, but I don’t want…I don’t think I’ll ever be happy if it’s just that, and it’ll just…it’ll hurt so much, and I’m not ready.

 

“Jinyoung,” Jackson said slowly. “I wouldn’t be so sure he’d reject you.”

 

Jinyoung lowered his hands, his heart pounding. “What? Has he said something to you?”

 

“No,” Jackson admitted. “And I can’t really speak on Mark’s behalf and tell you 100% of what he feels. But if I do know one thing, it’s that you’re important to him in a different way from BamBam and me. As for how important…well, I dunno. But maybe if you asked him, it wouldn’t be as bad as you think.”

 

"So I should bank everything on a small chance?"

 

"What do you have to lose? That Ian guy is going to tell him anyways. Why shouldn't you be the one to tell him instead, on your own terms?" Jackson gently reached out to take Jinyoung's hand. "Do you think you deserve to be happy?"

 

Jinyoung blinked. "What?"

 

"Do you think you deserve to be happy?" Jackson repeated in a firmer voice.

 

"...yes. I think...I think I deserve to be happy."

 

"Then when are you going to let yourself be happy?"

 

"There's no guarantee that telling him will make me-"

 

"Jinyoung," Jackson said sharply. "Do you think not telling him and just sitting around loving him on your own will make you happy, in the end?"

 

"...no."

 

"Do you think having a like Ian reveal your feelings to him for you will make you happy?"

 

"No."

 

"Then again: when are you going to let yourself be happy? Now? Or are you going to keep waiting until you've missed your chance?" He squeezed his hand gently. "I know my opinion doesn't count much in this, but as your friend, I'd be pretty happy myself if you got to be happy ASAP. And I know for a fact that Mark would want you to be happy, too. He's just that kind of guy, you know? And if he can't make you happy in the way you want, you can bet that he'll make sure you're able to find your happiness another way, and support you no matter what, not because he feels sorry for you, but because you're a precious person to him. Is that such a bad thing?"

 

"No," Jinyoung relented. "It's not."

 

"Good, glad we're on the same page." Jackson released his hand and rapped him on the forehead with his knuckles. "Anyways, I seriously think you have a better shot than you think you do. I've known Mark a long time, and I have never seen him look at another human being the way he looked at you after your whole little flirt thing while we were raking."

 

"Are you sure that's not because I rubbed leaves in his face?"

 

"Could be, but it was lacking in the murderous intent that would have been there if Bammie or I had been the one to do it." Jackson studied him. "I'll be going on a vacation after tomorrow. I want to stick around and give you whatever help you need, but it's a family thing, so I can't exactly say no. So if you decide to take care of talking to him while I'm gone and you need me for absolutely anything at all, you just call me, OK? I will be your personal love coach and see you through this safely no matter what, got it?"

 

Jinyoung couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Jackson. I know you're Mark's friend moreso than mine, so it means a lot that you would help me."

 

"Are you kidding? In my book, we're already fire-forged bros.  I'd fight at your side in any final battle you could think of." He grinned. "Besides, it's the fact that Mark's my bestie that I want to help you. Because really, I'd give anything to see that guy happy, too."

 


 

Mark was usually a better fighter than BamBam, but for the fifth time that night, he wound up pinned down on the practice mat by him, the wind completely knocked out of him. It was no use trying to do something that required focus with such a burdened mind, and even though he’d promised to help BamBam with more self-defense lessons after school, he couldn’t really stop thinking about Jinyoung, both in regards to hoping he wasn’t feeling too sick, and tossing and turning over his ongoing dilemma over his feelings for him.

 

“I’m really getting the hang of this, aren’t I?” BamBam said brightly, finally releasing Mark. “Thanks, Mark. Absolutely no one’s going to mess with me now.”

 

“I thought people had stopped, for the most part,” Mark said, lifting his back from the floor. “Have you had any problems, recently?”

 

“Nothing bad. But people are jerks, and if they’re not picking on me, they’re picking on someone else, and I want to be able to fight for that person, too.”

 

Mark reached out and ruffled BamBam’s hair. “Heh. For such a brat, you really are a good kid. You’re going to outlast all those other jerks by far.”

 

BamBam playfully swatted Mark’s hand away, then leaned back on the heels of his hands. “You know, I’m always being annoying and bothering you and all, but…seriously…you’re my bro, you know? Thanks for helping me. You’ve always had my back, and now I’m going to be strong enough to have your back, too!” He flexed his arms a bit, to demonstrate.

 

Mark felt a strong and sudden surge of gratitude for BamBam. He was right that they were always pestering each other, but BamBam had stuck by him as a friend since they’d met for the first time at the neighborhood park when they were five and four. He could be silly at times, but he was always so kind and open hearted, the kind of person you could tell anything to and always receive a frank but genuinely meant answer from.

 

And yet, Mark realized slowly, he hadn’t been telling anything important to BamBam lately, or Jackson either even though he knew both of them were the type who would accept him without question. He’d never wanted to put what he was going through into words because that would make it real, but with how he’d been feeling lately, and how strongly he’d been feeling it in his heart whenever he was around Jinyoung, he knew it was real whether he put it into words or not.

 

And now that he was finally admitting it to himself, he was also beginning to realize that he couldn’t really do it alone. There was so much he was confused about and didn’t know where to begin with, whether it was how to figure out if it was even remotely possible if Jinyoung returned his feelings, or what he was going to do about telling other people down the line—particularly his parents. He couldn’t exactly expect BamBam or Jackson to be experts, but what if they could pool their resources and come up with a game plan? What if their chill, hard-to-faze personalities could help Mark view the situation calmly and take some of the terror he’d been feeling about it away?

 

Mark took a deep breath, steeling himself. If he was going to do it, he had to do it now before he started second guessing himself. “Hey…BamBam?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You know how last year I stopped hanging out with all my friends at school?”

 

“Uh-huh?”

 

“I never really told you why I did that.” He took another breath. “It was…kind of messed up and complicated and…it was hard to talk about. But… do you mind if I talk about it now?”

 

BamBam practically rocketed up. “Of course you can talk about it! Do you know how worried we were about you, man? We didn’t want to pry, but we seriously freaked that it was something serious.”

 

“It was, kind of. Not like life or death or anything, but…” He dropped his voice. “It was serious to me.”

 

“Then it’s serious to me, too,” BamBam said immediately. “How can I help?”

 

Mark thought for a moment, wondering where to begin. When he thought back, he was surprised to realize the starting point was actually Jinyoung himself. It was strange to think that losing Jinyoung as a friend years ago had set everything in motion, taking him down a path that would still end in one day falling in love with him.

 

“Remember how I told you Jinyoung and I were pretty close back in 5th grade?” he began. “I didn’t know this until later, but one of my friends Ian threatened him not to hang out with me, and he started avoiding me. Since I wasn’t hanging out with Jinyoung anymore, I started getting closer to someone else from my friend group. Ty Langford. Do you remember him?”

 

BamBam nodded slowly. “Yeah, he came over to your place a few times, right? And I remember you mentioned him a lot over the past few years.”

 

“We were close,” Mark said again. “Really close. Ian may have been the ringleader of our friend group, but I considered Ty to be my best friend. We did everything together at school, and talked to each other about anything and everything. Ty was probably the reason I ignored how terrible Ian was for so long, because I pretty much stopped caring about everyone else in our group. All that mattered was the friendship between the two of us. But then…” Mark swallowed. “Ty started dating Anisa Koppelman, another one of my friends. And…I don’t know…I just kind of got irrationally upset about it. It felt like I was being punched in the gut when I heard, and after that, I kind of got really snappish and unnecessarily mean to everyone, but especially Ty and Anisa because of how angry and upset I was. My feelings about them being a couple were so obvious that everyone picked up on it and started gossiping.”

 

BamBam tilted his head. “Wait…so you had a crush on this Anisa girl without realizing, but figured out your feelings when she started dating your friend?”

 

“No, but that’s what everyone else thought,” Mark said softly. “It was the opposite.”

 

BamBam’s brows furrowed for a moment, and Mark could see it slowly dawning on him. “Oh. Ohhhhh.” He looked shocked at first and slightly alarmed, which made Mark feel a little panicked. Was BamBam disgusted after all? Was this the limit of how much he was actually willing to have Mark's back about? He knew it wasn't easy for other guys to accept. It shoved a thought in their mind that nagged at them regularly, asking 'Does he feel weirdly about me? Does being around him make me weird, too?' It wasn't the kind of thing that should have changed everything between two people who had always been close before, but it did change things. That was half of the reason he was so terrified of it.

 

BamBam saw Mark's panic and instantly looked panicked in return. “No, no, no, don't freak out!" he said quickly, waving his hands. "I'm not...I'm not grossed out, I don't find that kind of thing gross, not at all, so please don't think I'm terrible, I...I just need to process this for a for a second because I had absolutely no idea. You're...and you have been...and that’s why you didn’t want to tell us? OK, OK. It’s fine, man. It’s really OK. I mean, I always kind of knew you weren’t very interested in girls, so it’s not that far out of field, even though I didn't see it coming. And you know, I’m the last person on the planet who would bully anyone for anything, and you’re one of my best friends, so I’m cool with whatever you like or whoever you are…except, you know, if you started doing evil things, but I know you wouldn’t do that anyways…I’m rambling, tell me to shut up.”

 

“I won’t this time,” Mark said, instantly smiling as a feeling of relief swept over him. “I’ll tell you ‘thank you’ instead, because all things considered, that wasn't too bad of a reaction. I can probably expect much worse than that from most people.”

 

“I know,” BamBam said seriously. “You haven’t told anyone else, have you?”

 

Mark shook his head. “Although…I guess I should tell Jackson.”

 

“But not Jinyoung?”

 

Mark bit his lip. “As for Jinyoung…I still have more to tell in the first part of the story.”

 

“Right. So people were gossiping about it…?”

 

“Yeah, like I said, they thought I was so pissed because I was in love with Anisa and that I was going to try and break her and Ty up or something. So Ty eventually confronted me about it, and…I mean, in his perception, I was valuing a girl over our friendship and trying to mess with his relationship, so he was pissed, too. He started yelling at me and pushing me up against the wall while asking why I was betraying him like this, and I…” Mark shook his head. “I…just couldn’t say anything. That was actually when it hit me for the first time, that I’d been in love with him. And I had that realization while he was furious with me, screaming at me about his girlfriend who he loved the way I wanted him to love me, and I just…I just kind of broke, I guess. I couldn’t say anything, and my silence made him even angrier, and I just let him push me around because I was so humiliated with myself. It felt like I really had betrayed him by thinking of him that way, and I deserved to be hurt by him for it.”

 

“Mark,” BamBam said sadly. Mark shook his head and blinked his eyes.

 

“Anyways…I knew the truth about it, then. And I was terrified of how angry and disgusted Ty would be if he knew the truth, too. I was worried someone would figure it out and tell him and then tell the whole school about me. So, that’s why I stopped talking to everyone. I wanted to leave them thinking it was all about Anisa so they’d never guess the truth.” He sighed. “Honestly…I kind of wanted to erase it from myself, too. I wasn’t prepared to know that about myself or deal with it, but I guess isolating myself just made me think about it even more.”

 

BamBam was quiet for a moment, giving Mark some time to calm down. Then, at length he said, “So…you’re not going to try to erase it anymore, are you?”

 

Mark shook his head. “It’s…it’s not going away.”

 

BamBam looked momentarily appalled. “You’re not telling me you still like that Ty jerk, are you? Because I’m sorry, but only a real jerk would yell and push you around before trying to talk about it.”

 

Mark shook his head. “Not him.”

 

“Oh.” BamBam’s eyes widened. “Then…is it Jinyoung?”

 

Mark felt the old jolt to deny at all costs shudder through him, but fought it back. He knew he could trust BamBam, so what did he have to be afraid of in saying it out loud? “…yeah.”

 

“Oh, good,” BamBam said, smiling. “I like him. He’s a nice person, and he’s always so good to you. Much better than that other guy.”

 

“Yeah. But what if he’s not…?”

 

“Huh…don’t you just kind of, I don’t know, know? Like, can’t you tell who is and who isn’t?”

 

“No,” Mark said. “Unless they’re making it obvious, how am I supposed to know? I'm new to this!”

 

“Oh, right. Well…I do know Jinyoung really likes you, but I dunno about like liking.” He bit his lip. “If you wanted me to, I could subtly ask him or something.”

 

“No!” Mark said quickly. “Not that.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because it’s embarrassing and obvious.”

 

“But if no one asks him, how are you going to know? It’s not like you were all excited about confessing it, so he probably wouldn’t be the same either, right?”

 

Mark shrugged helplessly.

 

“And you know, if he is like you, maybe he’s stressing about whether or not you’re like him because he has no idea, and you’re both crushing on each other right now but can’t say it because you’re both confused!”

 

“Doubtful.”

 

“But not impossible.” BamBam patted him on the shoulder. “Look, I don’t know a lot about this stuff. I haven’t even had a girlfriend yet, so I can’t really give good advice about asking someone out or telling how they feel. But if we tell Jackson about it, I’m sure he could come up with something good! Or something totally stupid. Either one. But he’s a lot more observant than he looks, so I bet he could probably give us some idea about how Jinyoung feels.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Totally! Actually, I’m going shoe shopping with him tomorrow at the mall since we both just wore through our tennis shoes. I can ask him then. The sooner the better, right?” He paused. “Although I guess you should be the one who tells him what you just told me.”

 

Mark shrugged. “I’m busy tomorrow, and Jackson’s taking off early for Christmas break in two days, right? I’m not going to have time to tell him in person. If you feel like it’s important for him to know ASAP, you have my permission to tell him the basics. I’ll explain it to him fully later.”

 

“All right. I’ll let you know.” BamBam rose to his feet. “Thanks for trusting me with this, Mark. I promise not to tell a soul other than Jackson.”

 

“Thanks for hearing me out, BamBam. Really.”

 

“I told you, I’ve got your back. You’ve apparently had enough ty people to deal with without me being one of them. And just so you know, I’d be totally behind you and Jinyoung getting together. You’d be super cute. So cute it would probably be gross, actually.”

 

“Well. Then I hope I’ll get the opportunity to gross you out plenty in the future,” Mark said with a smile. He still wasn’t sure it would actually be possible, but with someone who knew and was still on his side at long last, he began to feel the kind of hope he hadn’t been able to in a long time. Maybe there was still a chance for him, after all.

 


 

BamBam always acted weird, but Jackson was getting the feeling he was acting weirder than normal. They were just supposed to be picking out sneakers together at ’s Sporting Goods, but BamBam kept twitching nervously as if he was bursting to tell Jackson something, but every time he opened his mouth, he snapped it shut a second later.

 

Jackson got annoyed of this quickly, and grabbed BamBam by his coat and dragged him into the canoeing section, which was empty of other customers for the time being. “All right, man,” he said. “Out with it.”

 

“Out with what?”

 

“Whatever it is you want to tell me.”

 

“I don’t have anything I want to tell you,” BamBam said, much too innocently.

 

“Sure you don’t.”

 

“It’s just that…well…” BamBam squirmed. “I was having a little chit-chat with Mark…about love and stuff, you know…and…well…I guess it kind of got us thinking about Jinyoung and how we’ve never talked to him about it before, and I was wondering if you knew if Jinyoung had someone he liked.”

 

Jackson’s eyes narrowed. This was all much too suspicious, coming exactly one day after Jackson’s conversation with Jinyoung about his feelings for Mark. “Why does that matter? Wait…did Mark happen to mention something specific to you about someone he liked?”

 

BamBam’s eyes darted. “Well…maybe…”

 

“Who is it?” Jackson asked eagerly. If it’s Jinyoung, those boys are about to experience the happiness of a lifetime.

 

“Uh…I mean, Mark gave me permission to tell you, but I think it really would be better if you heard it from him.” BamBam grabbed his shoulder. “Look, can’t you just give me an idea of whether or not Jinyoung would…you know…maybe like someone…nontraditional…someone…you know…not necessarily like who most junior high guys would fall for?”

 

“BamBam, you at being subtle,” Jackson said, rolling his eyes. “Are you asking me this because Mark likes Jinyoung, or not?”

 

Jackson thought BamBam would be flustered for getting caught fishing around so quickly, but he actually looked relieved. “Yeah, that’s why I’m asking. I still think he should be the one to tell you all this, but I know you’re going out of town soon, I’ll fill you in.”

 

BamBam then proceeded to tell Jackson about everything Mark had gone through previously with Ty Langford, and why he’d kept it a secret until now. Jackson felt another wave of fury rushing through him at this, one nearly equal to the one caused by hearing about Ian the day before from Jinyoung. He hated it so much that his best friend, who Jackson had felt fiercely protective over since back when he’d been a shy, tear-filled little kid who Jackson had always defended from the older kids on the playground, had been surrounded by people who’d hurt him so deeply while Jackson hadn’t been there to look after him. He could understand why Mark hadn’t told him, but hated just thinking of Mark spending the past year in agony due to falling in love with someone who hadn’t at all been worthy of him.

 

“God, this Ty Langford and Ian Westcott better hope I never run into them, because I swear to god,” Jackson growled.

 

“I’ll help,” BamBam volunteered loyally. “I know all these moves now, thanks to Mark.”

 

“And I would love to see you use them on these pieces of trash.” Jackson took a breath, calming himself. “At least there’s one piece of freaking awesome news in all this. Mark likes Jinyoung. And don’t tell anyone I said this, cuz I’m only telling you because you’re on Team Make Mark and Jinyoung a Thing along with me, but Jinyoung just so happens to like him back.”

 

“I KNEW IT!” BamBam said, pumping his fist. “Oh my god! I have to tell Mark this, ASAP!” He whipped out his phone.

 

“Oh no you don’t,” Jackson said, snatching it away from him.

 

“But…but… Mark’s not going to make a move if I don’t tell him.”

 

“Then Mark needs to seriously reevaluate just how serious these feelings are, because he needs to be brave enough to face them even when there’s uncertainty.” Jackson lowered his voice. “Look, BamBam. This isn’t just them casually asking each other out. This will be about them coming out to each other. It’s a rite of passage, something they need to choose to do without us taking care of it for them. They need to hear it from each other, not us, so you’re not going to tell Mark that Jinyoung’s in love with him, and I’m not going to tell Jinyoung that Mark’s in love with him, got it?”

 

BamBam nodded. He seemed to get what Jackson was saying. “So what do we do?”

 

“Wait to see what they do. I think Jinyoung’s feeling properly motivated to confess to Mark, so let’s wait it out and see if he follows through. If Mark asks for support, by all means keep supporting him. Just don’t go ahead and outright tell him what’s going on before Jinyoung does, OK?”

 

“I won’t,” BamBam promised. “I think they’ll figure it out. I think Mark’s a little scared, though. He had such a bad time of it the first time he fell for someone, and I think he’s having a hard time forgetting it.”

 

“I think we can’t expect him to forget it,” Jackson said heavily. “But I think what he and Jinyoung have together can make it better. Those two care about each other so much, they’re not just going to let each other keep hurting. They’ll find their way of working through it.”

 

“And then they’re going to be all disgustingly cute,” BamBam said, sticking out his tongue.

 

“Yeah, probably. You and I are about to become third wheels, bud.”

 

“Joy.”

 

“It’ll be fine, though.” Jackson grinned. “I think next summer will be much better for all of us if we’re not sitting around pouting on the floor, yeah?”

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Cho_lolai101 #1
Chapter 8: Awwww .... a beautiful breathe of fresh air . Life is truly good when we have ‘people to share life’s precious moments ... there’s a whole lot of good and genuine people that deserve it’. It’s when we experience those difficult times that we find out who our true friends really are, through thick and thin ... no matter what; This is a memorable ff for me and I hope more get to appreciate what it has encompassed. I’m gonna rest my eyes for a bit and off to the next one ... With gratitude and love to you, Author-nim ??
Cho_lolai101 #2
Chapter 7: I will only pass this world once and I’m grateful for all the friends and people I’ve met along the way, most specially grateful to the AhgaFam I belong, how truly proud I am to be an Ahgase. We have a sort of saying here in Toronto that goes: “Toronto Loves Everybody” we are a diverse culture that embraces and support everybody . My wealth and treasures are my family and group of friends that supports and accepts me as I am, whatever makes me happy as my sons and siblings has said and shown me has made me feel so blessed. I wanna be able to somehow share this to everyone, be honest, love yourself and reach out ... it might be easier said than done but there always is hope as we live. Reading fanfics, I have discovered and learned so much more and gave me the freedom to share. I respect the authors for their time, effort and brilliance to execute such meaningful stories. I love stories that have happy endings more than sad, who doesn’t? But most of all it’s the lessons we learn and gain. Author-nim, hats off once again. I can say my time is very well spent reading a lot as much as I can in this self-isolation time due to Covid19; kindly stay well and safe Yeorobun.
Cho_lolai101 #3
Chapter 5: To be afraid of the unknown can be such a in life, fear itself can do harm in so many diff levels/ways ... having someone you can talk to and understand is a blessing that not too many are aware of; times have changed ... it still is not easy, my best friend went through this when we were in hi-sch ... 30 years later when we reconciled was when she confessed to me (I’d already gotten married and have 2 kids but going through separation then)... we met up and we both healed each other, we had a long distance relationship for 4 years and when we decided to split up was when my now true loves of love - GOT7 (2015) came in the pic. We have stayed the best of friends and soulmates to this day (we both stayed single) but she knows and supports me big time with my idols.
Our one and only niece took it real hard coming out but us aunties knew and just gave all support we can; my bro her dad actually confined to my bestie before me and no one judged our niece, even her oldest bro protected her ... and she found a real nice girl who understood and loved her unconditionally; she moved to be with my niece and my sons were also instrumental in helping her land a job where she would be appreciated, accepted and loved. I’m sharing all these in the hopes of giving so much hope and understanding. We are all created equally , love comes in all shapes and forms and bright colours. Oh I hurt and can relate in this episode but even if this was published later just the fact that someone reached out requesting this type of scenario and somebody generous enough to oblige is uplifting. I am not one to ever judge ... be brave and strong enough ... author-nim ... this is hats off ?? I’m sorry if I rambled too much ???
park-jinyoung
#4
Chapter 8: AHHHH SO BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTWARMING (ಥ_ಥ)❤❤❤ im soooo happy for markjin, they deserve all the happiness in the world uwu

thank you for this :"""")
PepiPlease
#5
Chapter 8: This is so beautiful even though it hurts so much. The working title could be: OYH - between security and insecurity
I love the way they are considerate towards each other. They rather choose to suffer alone than to hurt the other or rope him into some trouble. But I think the best part for me is how they promise each other not to turn their back on the other. It's like the maximum trust level to blindly promise when you have no idea what the other is hiding (but are well aware THAT the other is indeed hiding something). Nothing can beat trust. Thank you for this beautiful story. It was a journey bristled with obstacles but also such adorable moments they shared together. I am always thankful for a happy end because if it wouldn't end happy for my two best boys, I would miserably cry for hours. But now I'm not crying, no, I'm freaking tossing flower petals left and right from me, bouncing through the world, full of love for markjin. Good day.
shoujo-camui
#6
Chapter 8: Lovely!<3
JinyoungsMark #7
Chapter 8: Soo sweet as ever.. Thank u yet again for this amazing fic.. <3 soo looking forward for ur next update on ur next fic <3
markinpeach
#8
Chapter 8: Thank you for this beautiful story <3
Such an interesting exploration on coming of age, full of hardships but also full of happiness
I felt like crying, when Jinyoung thinks he “doesn’t” deserve a prom and felt like melting when Mark actually asked him first *cries in joy*

Btw, new story! Yay!
Markjinlife #9
Oh no is this update really the end of the story, I just realise the green word completely is there i feels like crying but can’t wait for tonight update
Magentusrex
#10
Chapter 8: Well here you are with another beautiful, heartwarming, and affirming story. I love your writing, as I'm sure that I've mentioned many times before. You did a fantastic job of showing the kind of inner turmoil that happens to young people. i love this story and it's resolution. I can't wait to see what you are going to do next.