I looked out the windows of my room. The city skyline twinkling like thousands of stars just reminding you that you were just a small part of this huge world. Every unique story and memory you had was insignificant to everything else. It had been something I had learned early on and I held onto that. I guess it helped me cope with the life I live now.

I think being a divorce lawyer has it's cons just like it had pros. One of those cons was being so cynical. My career required me to hear about everyone's magical love stories and then destroy everything they had built up together. To break the heart of some spouses that had never even seen the divorce coming or that was upset they didn't get to me first. Watching family's being pulled apart and children picking their favorites. It was a job that wasn't for the faint of heart. Watching how people stabbed the person they once would have died for in the back a thousands time for some collector item or a few thousands of dollars. It was pathetic, but it was my reality.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair. Sitting down on my bed, I had pulled out the box of photos I had in the back of my closet. Taking off the lid, the hundreds of pictures stared back at me. Reaching in, I saw a picture of Minyoung and I on her twenty first birthday where she had decided to cut her hair to her shoulders. I had remembered her crying about it a week later and swearing to never do it again. Smiling, I reached back in and pulled out a photo of me holding up my degree at my first graduation. My parents looked so proud as they both hugged me tightly.

Setting the photo down, I picked up another photo. It was Sehun as he made a heart with his fingers at me as I took the photo. His glowing smile warming my heart a bit as I tossed it down and picked up another. It was a picture of us on at the beach. He had promised to show me the ocean and he delivered. Riding a train for hours until we reached the coast. He had saved up money to bring me on that short holiday.

Smiling bitterly, I threw the photo back in the box and closed it. Why was I opening up old wounds? Sehun had left me and he was gone. He's getting married. I even added insult to injury by googling him to see headlines of the Oh Group CEO being engaged to one of Korea's most eligible heiresses'. Flopping back in my bed, I stared at the white ceiling. The white noise of the wind blowing outside filling my ears as I felt hyper aware to it suddenly as I threw myself under my bed sheets and closed my eyes.

I was ing thirty years old now. I hadn't dated anyone since Sehun and now I'm sitting here brooding because he moved on with his life. He was about to start a new chapter when all I was doing ending chapters for people. I lived in a nice condo by myself with no one to share it with. My days off were filled with work and more work. I couldn't even get a pet because I didn't have time. I would have just chose work over the dog anyway.

God, what the hell did I become? I used to be this young, strong, and confident woman and now I was involuntarily celibate as I represented some of the scummiest men and women in Korea. God, it's not like I haven't tried dating, it just never seemed right or it wasn't the right time. In all actuality though, maybe I was just pushing it back. I am that loser of a woman who's life peaked when she was younger. I may have progressed professionally but my personal life was at a standstill.

Maybe I should freeze my eggs?

"Oh no!" I yelled as I shook my head from under the blanket.

Throwing the blanket off of my face, I rolled on my back and closed my eyes. Maybe things could have been different. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder, what if I treated Sehun better? Found time to make time? What if we were still together, would I be happier? Could you imagine me being that girlfriend that look forward to going home? Petting her dog and calling her boyfriend everyday to say she missed him or just to hear his voice?

Laughing to myself maniacally, I turned off the lights as I closed my eyes. 

As I drifted off slowly to sleep, I kept thinking.

What would have happened if I was the girlfriend Sehun deserved?

Drifting to sleep, I could feel myself falling into a d