A/N: I was sad so here you go. Musings at 2 am. Dont mind any grammatical errors bc SADTTTTTT

Warning: angst, more angst, have i said angst? I mean angst. Hopeful ending. 

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When he closed the door behind him, silence greeted him. It has been so for months now but Seungri couldn't quite get used to it. His phone wasn't continuously making noise in the back pocket of his jeans, the rings on his fingers that were once a part of his daily outfit as a reminder of his superstar status weren't hitting one another nor has he felt its heavy weight on his fingers for a while now, the sigh of relief he used to breathe out everytime he comes home has turned shaky, echoing the weariness he felt and must've looked, and his mind that was once full of thoughts and ideas, now shuts off the moment his apartment door closes behind him. This, he supposed, is his life now. Quiet and lonely.

The apartment was bathed in a soft glow from the rising sun, bringing life back to his humble abode. The warmth that comes with it was comforting -- or, Seungri believed it to be so. He hasn't felt the warmth of the sun on his skin, having been used to the numbness that has enveloped him these past few months. Sometimes, he would pretend he could feel the sun's warmth and he would take comfort in it -- only so he could feel sane and human and as normal as he could. It would have to do, he thought then, staying upright when his world was anything but.

The day before yesterday had ended in his favor but he could hardly taste the sweetness of his victory. It tasted rather bitter, but Seungri has learned to relish in the little victories -- as rare and as unfulfilling as they were these days. The only celebration he could manage was to surround himself with friends from his Jiu-Jitsu class and to forget -- even for just a while, but even that was torn away from him by the media and was turned into something vile and horrid for a