clarity

HARBORED
your body slightly jerked when you felt the mattress sank. movements followed as joohyun settles herself beside you.
 
"seulgi?"
 
you didn't speak, neither make a small move. you're hiding under the blanket. you want to escape the situation by pretending to be asleep.
 
"seulgi?" another call, and there was a slight tap on your hip.
 
still, you pretend. it'll be easier if you do it this way. you'll feel more at ease if she'll try to sleep tonight.
 
"i guess she's exhausted," murmured joohyun.
 
you smiled under the blanket, knowing she's already giving up. but to your surprise, she pulled your blanket away and started wiggling your shoulders exaggeratedly.
 
"seulgi! seulgi! seulgi!"
 
"w-what--w-whaatt..."
 
joohyun stopped, then she smiled at you. "you're still sleepy?"
 
"not anymore. why?"
 
joohyun giggled. "i missed you," she said, lying on her front.
 
you turned your body to face her. "i missed you too."
 
joohyun's fingers traced the mattress. "so, um, how should we do this?"
 
your mind is already exploding in chaos, but you maintained your facade. "do what?"
 
"this. sleeping together."
 
"we just close our eyes and sleep," you said.
 
"yeah. i mean, are you comfortable doing this?"
 
"we've slept in each other's rooms since i was twelve, hyun."
 
joohyun blushed. "i like it when you call me that."
 
"good. then i'll keep calling you that."
 
"but you didn't answer my question."
 
"which one?"
 
"are you comfortable doing this?"
 
"ahh." you looked up at the ceiling. "i'm not sure if comfortable is the right word. i want you to sleep beside me, but i'm just not sure how i should handle you. as you mentioned the other day, you want us to take it slow, right?"
 
"mmm-mmm."
 
"so, i don't know how to treat you now. can i hug you like how we do before, or should we put something here in the middle?"
 
"you're so cute." joohyun chuckled. "but a hug will be okay, i guess."
 
"are you sure?"
 
joohyun hummed. "you know how much i love hugging you. i would want to fall asleep in your embrace."
 
you observed how joohyun is trying her best to avoid your eyes. maybe she's feeling awkward as much as you do.
 
"let's settle for a hug then," you said.
 
joohyun looked up at you. she moved closer, still hesitant. you opened your arms to tell her you're ready. she closed the gap between your bodies by settling her head in the crook of your neck, arm and leg over your frame.
 
"ahh. this feels good." you sling an arm around to support her body.
 
"you smell nice."
 
"you too."
 
silence settled. you are far from feeling sleepy, but you feel so contented.
 
"did you ever imagine we'd be like this?" asked joohyun.
 
"i have always imagined being like this with you. but it never occurred to me this would really happen. how about you?"
 
"i've always imagined you in this way, seul. i don't know what you did to me, but since i've met you, i've always found comfort in holding you. i don't know why."
 
"but did you ever imagine we'll be like... together...?"
 
joohyun adjusted her position, her hand tracing your clothed abdomen now.
 
"i did," she said. "remember when i asked you to teach me how to dance on my 21st birthday? that was the first time i started feeling something different towards you."
 
you remember what happened that day. you danced, hugged, and you carried her to her room.
 
"i've always seen you as someone younger than i am," joohyun continued. "but that day i realized how you've matured. there was something different with the way you held me. i loved it. and all the time we're dancing, i kept comparing you with my exes. you are different from them, seul--far different from them."
 
"was that the reason you said you should be with me instead?"
 
"you still remember that?"
 
"i do. i thought i had the chance. but you avoided me after and got a new boyfriend later on."
 
"well... i needed to get over that little crush i'm developing towards you, that's why."
 
"why did you want to get over that feeling?"
 
"first, i don't think you feel the same way. second, i don't think i'm that serious towards you either. i mean, you've grown into a charming woman. it may be just normal for people to get attracted to you--me not an exception. getting a boyfriend was a great distraction for me. i was sure i got over the feeling until byulyi and boa started asking us why are we not dating yet."
 
you chuckled at the memory. "yeah. you were so drunk that night. do you remember asking me if i imagined myself being with you?"
 
joohyun raised her head. "that wasn't a dream??? i really asked you that?"
 
"yes, you did."
 
joohyun buried her face in the crook of your neck out of embarrassment. "my gosh. me and my drunken mouth."
 
you laughed, her side. "it's now my turn to say you're so cute."
 
you felt joohyun sigh. "i just can't believe you've felt that way ever since."
 
"it started as a simple crush. nothing serious. then i got used to you being sweet to me. i think that's when it started getting deeper."
 
"it must have been hard for you when i had relationships."
 
"yeah. it was."
 
"i'm sorry."
 
"it's okay. those are over now anyway."
 
another silence. you know joohyun is thinking of something.
 
"come to think of it," she finally said. "we've had relationships with other people, but we keep coming back to each other."
 
"mmm-mmm."
 
"don't you think we've wasted a very long time figuring each other out just to end up with each other again?"
 
"for me, it's not wasted time. we need to go through that."
 
"and why do you think so?"
 
"because if we didn't, you wouldn't be sure about me."
 
joohyun nodded, still thinking.
 
"unless you're not sure about me yet?" you asked.
 
joohyun shifted on her position, switching from your side to on top of you now. she looked down at you and smiled.
 
"you're the only thing in my life i'm sure about. yes, i've had my share of denials. it took me time, but now i'm sure i'm willing to do anything to make sure you stay by my side."
 
you wanted to kiss her, but you stopped yourself. instead, you smiled and guided her to your chest.
 
"thank you for being here now."
 
"no. i should thank you for waiting for me. and for bearing all that pain."
 
"you're worth it, hyun." getting drowned with your emotions, you kissed the top of her head. "you're worth all of it."
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railtracer08
357 streak #1
Chapter 28: They took the long way there but they made it in the end 🤧❤️
Apcxjsv
#2
Chapter 28: Your stories are the best, thank you 🫶🏻🫶🏻
AnneTokki 39 streak #3
Chapter 29: Read this again, finished this one and Deranger again. Next story to read again Inevitable 🩷💛💥⭐🫶
sluggiebearr
#4
Chapter 28: I cried huhu this is so beautiful
Natzki25 #5
Chapter 1: Rereading and I also upvoted it.
foneall #6
Chapter 29: I. Really. Really. Love. This. Story...😍😍
Ohh Woww...I already knew that you has this magic in you...when I first read your story HerShe (Tiaom)...I never ever get tired reading all your story again and again and again. All over again...😁😁
Keep making an amazing story...Because you are one of my favourite Author...love you 😘😘
Jensoo4everlove #7
Chapter 28: Damn!! Author how do you write all these masterpieces like I have almost read all your stories but never got bored of any!!! Every story manages to warm my heart !! ❤ Thanks again for another piece of art 💙
karen_plvra
#8
Chapter 29: that was so good!!!!
_m3owrene
1023 streak #9
Chapter 28: Beautiful story, i have to reread this again 😍
baeddeulgi_
#10
Chapter 29: Read this again because I forgot to finish it when I was on chapter 22 before 😭 and just noticed your special mention for me last 2019? 2021? Anyway, thank you so much, Schindlee 🥰 It's been years and just proves how I'm such a fan of yours lol. I remember reading Hershe and after that, I've always waited for your other stories. I think I was one of your very first readers and I will never stop appreciating how such an amazing writer you are.