Five years, its been. Five years since we disbanded. Five years since I moved to France. Five years since... her. Why do I keep reminding myself that I was once and idol people knew and loved? Memories I guess.

...

I hurriedly unlock the door and flop onto my couch.

I should be on Christmas break right now but bills need to be payed. I check my phone and my friend Jungeun's texts pop up asking me to come to her Christmas party. I just throw my phone across the couch not caring at the moment.

I get up to make hot chocolate, trying to find the scissors while a picture falls out of the drawer and lands on the hardwood floor.

I look down at it confused. "Why did a picture come out of the drawer?", I silently think in my head.

I squat down and pick the picture up. I turn it over and my heart sinks.

It's a picture of me and the rest of Loona when we first debuted. I told myself before to forget my past but I never do. The memories and feelings of loneliness just floods back to my brain. The memories of them leaving me. The memories of falling asleep with tears still on my cheeks. The memories of her... not saying goodbye. The memories feeling of being stabbed in the heart.

This is supposed to be most wonderful season of the year. All the children playing in the snow. Teenagers throwing snowballs with rocks inside at cars. Families buying son and daughters presents. How is it when I'm always lonely? My only friend is Jungeun.

I snap out of my thoughts when tears start to fall and makes little puddles on the picture.

I wipe my eyes and stuff the picture back into the drawer. I don't want to feel those emotions ever again.

Ever again.

I looked over and finally found those scissors I was looking for earlier. I climbed up on the counter and reached to grab the box of hot chocolate mix. I also reached over to grab a random mug that was closest to my reach. I placed both items down on the marble counter and hopped down. I sighed as I started to make my hot chocolate. Work was a pain and so were the people there but I dont work to make friend, I work to keep myself financially stable.

As my hot chocolate was made I looked around my kitchen in hopes I had a crumb of something to cook for dinner. I sighed as I realized I would have to go back into the freezing cold just for dinner. I sighed one last time as I grabbed my mug of hot chocolate and headed back to my couch.

I looked over at the mail that I picked up this morning while drinking my hot chocolate. Bills, bills, and more bills that I would have to pay sooner or later, whether I like it or not.

I checked the time on my phone, ignoring Jungeun's texts again, and decided that now would be the best time to go grocery shopping before it got too late. I placed my mug down on the coffee table in front of me as I stood up. I grabbed my jacket from the coat rack and my bag before locking my door.

...

I finally walked outside the store while having to hold a few bags in my hands. I unlocked the car and placed the bags in the back seat. I went to go around the car to the driver's seat while I look up. As I looked up I saw the last person I wanted to see.

She was standing right by the store's doors, staring at me. She quickly looked away as I widened y eyes. I didn't know w