“My turn!” Chorong clapped excitedly. “Okay, never have I ever . . . had in public.”

“Chorong! What is up with you and all these ual questions tonight? I apologize on her behalf,” Yongsun voiced sincerely to the group.

“Don’t apologize, that’s the point of the game,” Sirae reassured her. “The more people drink, the more fun the game gets. Anyway, you got me with that one. I’m down to three fingers.”

Wanting a break from clubs and bars, Chorong urged Yongsun to invite Sirae and Seungyeon over to their apartment for a relaxed night in. Having tagged along with the former SKKU students enough times, Chorong felt comfortable enough considering them acquaintances. She made a compelling case about not having many other female friends and wanting to get closer to Sirae and Seungyeon since they were all the same age. Yongsun didn’t need much convincing as she, too, enjoyed the time spent with the other girls. She had also had an especially challenging week of assignments, including a 15-page paper that was turned in earlier that day. Needing to finally experience some fun after a full week in the Academic Center each night with Byulyi, the graduate student extended an invitation to Seungyeon and Sirae and they accepted. That was how they found themselves in her and Chorong’s living room, hours into a Friday night full of food, drinks, music, and good company.

It had been two weeks since that night with Seungyeon. Things were fine. They continued to hang out, continued to kiss if the mood hit them, and weren’t awkward with each other. At all. Even now, in the middle of Never Have I Ever, they revealed some of their most embarrassing and risqué past deeds—well, Seungyeon and the others did, Yongsun hadn’t done much worthy of Never Have I Ever. She was mostly a spectator—but it wasn’t weird. Yongsun was grateful.

“When did you do that, Sirae, and how come I’ve never heard of this?”

“I told you about it, Seungyeon. Remember? That one time last year?”

“Oh! Never mind. I remember now. You used to be wild,” she chuckled.

“Used to. I’m retired now.”

“You talk like you’re ancient,” Chorong giggled.

“I am!”

“We’re twenty-four! I don’t know about you, but I consider myself young,” Yongsun’s roommate babbled.

Scrambling to find and answer her cell phone that suddenly started ringing, Yongsun stood and left the other three to their insightful conversation.

“Hey, Wheein. What’s up?”

“Unnie, are you home?” The younger girl’s melodic voice filled her right ear.

“I am, why?”

“We’re outside your door.”

She should’ve expected it. Wheein and Hyejin only ever called to inquire further about something they’d already done. Padding lightly to the door, the blonde welcomed her younger friends with open arms.

“What are you two doing here? I mean, come in, yes, but also, what are you two doing here?”

“We came to see what you and Byul-unnie were up to tonight, then we remembered she’s out with her teammates,” Hyejin rolled her eyes.

“Why do you sound so upset about that?” Yongsun smiled softly at Hyejin’s apparent annoyance with Moonbyul spending time with her basketball friends.

“She sees them all week during their trainings! Could’ve saved tonight for us.”

“To be fair, the three of us are usually out on Fridays. Guess she got tired of being the only one at home all the time.”

“You always defend her, unnie. Stop that.”

“I do not. I’m simply being fair.”

“Why is there fun happening, with food and drinks, yet we knew nothing about this?” Wheein didn’t care for the back and forth Hyejin and Yongsun were having. She was more interested, it seemed, in why Yongsun was having fun without them.

“Oh,” the graduate student tried to butter her up with a sweet smile. “Chorong and I had a couple friends over. Nothing major.”

“How cute. I’m waiting on an invitation and introduction,” the Fine Arts student stated with a saccharine voice and overdone smile of her own.

“Of course! Of course. Um . . . hey, everyone,” Yongsun interrupted Chorong, Sirae, and Seungyeon’s animated conversation. “These are two of my best friends, Wheein and Hyejin. They’re going to join us. Hope that’s okay.”

“That’s perfect! Join us. The more, the merrier. I’m Sirae, that’s Seungyeon. It’s nice to meet you both.”

The way both of the younger girls’ ears perked up at hearing Seungyeon’s name made Yongsun nervous. She’d mentioned the woman before, but hadn’t updated Wheein and Hyejin on the physical aspect of their relationship that had recently developed.

“You’re the one unnie is always out with, right?”

“I’m sure she hangs out with other people, too, but yes, we spend time together when we can,” Seungyeon expertly maneuvered around the question.

“Do you all want some food? Help yourselves, we have a lot left. The four of us were playing Never Have I Ever before you arrived. I’m about to get Seungyeon out, but feel free to join for this last round anyway.”

“A bit too confident for my liking,” Seungyeon smirked.

“Never have I ever made out with someone in this room.”

Yongsun, Seungyeon, Wheein, and Hyejin all put a finger down. For Seungyeon, it was her last.

“Wait! Why did you two put a finger down?” Yongsun asked the younger girls, the slight shock evident in her voice.

“We’ve been friends since childhood, unnie. Things happened. Grow up.”

“Excuse me for being surprised at how casually you both dropped that on us.”

“Yongsun, you put your hand down, too! Who have you kissed?!”

Oh yeah, she hadn’t told Chorong either. Judging by who reacted to that last prompt, it was clear who she’d kissed, but her roommate was tipsy. Her lapse in comprehension was understandable.

“Unnie, you made out with Seungyeon-ssi?!”

The reactions were comical. The people in the room that had no idea about it wore varied expressions of shock. Sirae held a mischievous smirk, seemingly proud of the chaos she’d caused. Yongsun herself knew her face was beet red. She was speechless.

“So . . . it seems I really did lose. Not in kissing Yongsun, I definitely won at that, but the game. I lost the game,” Seungyeon broke the tension. “Going to take my shot now. Well played, Sirae.”

Yongsun was so grateful for her.

The ease with which the former basketball player handled that moment set the tone for the rest of the night. Yes, Yongsun knew she’d have to talk about it with Hyejin, Wheein, and Chorong later, but for the rest of the night, it was harmless teasing here and there, with most of everyone’s energy spent on singing, dancing, eating, laughing, and drinking. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and Yongsun couldn’t be happier.

About an hour before the get-together ended, Seungyeon asked if the two of them could talk in private. Heart thumping, Yongsun led the way to her bedroom, leaving the door behind them slightly ajar. She had no idea what it was the brunette could want to discuss, the uncertainty causing her stomach to sink. What if Seungyeon confessed? That would be the worst.

“Your room’s cute,” the taller woman casually complimented.

With a small voice, Yongsun responded, “Thanks.”

“Um . . . so . . . I’ve been talking to someone I met on a dating app and I was wondering if it’d be okay if I went on a date with her?”

Relief flooded her body.

“I was so nervous about what you had to say,” she clutched at her chest. “That’s completely fine with me. Seriously. You didn’t have to ask, though.” They weren’t dating. They’d had no discussions about dating. There were no plans to date Seungyeon. The graduate student felt no possessiveness over the taller woman. They were friends.

“I figured you’d be okay with it because we’re not, like, together or anything, but I wanted to make sure.”

“Well, thank you for asking. It was thoughtful of you to do that. But yeah, we’re not together. You can do your own thing. I mean, if things get serious between you and her or if the two of you get physical, then, yeah, definitely let me know so that you and I stop the kissing thing, but for the most part, you don’t need to run anything by me unless it affects my safety in any way.”

“Cool.” Seungyeon was contemplative for a moment. “It’s just a first date though. Nothing serious. It was casual conversation at first, then she asked me out, so I was considering it.”

“No need to explain. I hope it goes well! When is it?”

“She suggested next week.”

This was actually quite enjoyable for Yongsun. The moment it became clear that Seungyeon wasn’t confessing to her, she was able to breath again and enjoy the conversation. Leaving Seungyeon alone in the center of the room, the blonde made to sit on the end of her bed. Legs dangling, she leaned back on her hands, seemingly at ease.

“What are you two going to do?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I told her I’d get back to her on if I could make it or not. Guessing she’ll tell me more when I tell her ‘yes’.”

“That’s exciting!”

“Why are you so excited about this?” Seungyeon stalked closer, standing between Yongsun’s legs.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You may find the love of your life.”

“That’s a bit much. She asked and I figured ‘why not?’ She’s a nice girl. If you asked me on another date, though, I’d definitely say yes. No hesitation.”

“Another date? We haven’t gone on any dates.”

“Two weeks ago. That was a date.”

“It was not! This is the first time you’re calling it a date. You can’t retroactively make something a date.”

“I paid for dinner and dropped you home! That’s a date,” Seungyeon challenged in a jovial manner.

“You always pay and drop me home!”

“Then we’ve been on tons of dates! You’re making my point for me.”

“Shut up!” Yongsun chortled. Things were uncomplicated with Seungyeon.

“Anyway,” the other woman playfully ignored her, “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Please do.”

“If, by chance, my time kissing you is coming to an end, though, we should make the most of every opportunity we have. Like right now,” her eyes were focused on Yongsun’s lips.

“Oh yeah?” The graduate student teased. Seungyeon said nothing, only nodding her head in response.

Wrapping her arms around the taller woman’s neck, Yongsun closed the distance between them, sighing contentedly into Seungyeon’s mouth when she felt hands firmly grip her hips.

Neither pushed things further, both women fine with the chaste kisses they shared.

“Unnie, we’re waiting on the two of you so we can play one last game. Stop making out with Seungyeon-ssi!” Hyejin shouted from the living room.

“I’m not making out with anyone,” she shouted back.

“We can hear you!”

That was a lie. She and Seungyeon weren’t making any noises.

Rolling her eyes, the blonde placed one last kiss on Seungyeon’s soft lips before hopping off her bed and leaving the bedroom with the taller girl in tow.

*

Yongsun’s caseload as an academic advisor at the Academic Support Center for Athletes had doubled this year. She was assigned to the Men’s Football team, responsible for supporting the academic and socioemotional well-being of ten first- and second-year athletes. Ten students meant eleven hours at the Center each week—each session was one hour long, but she met with one athlete twice a week.

Eleven hours at the Center each week and she had yet to schedule time with Director Choi to ask for career advice.

She saw the man every day.

Today alone, having had a five-hour shift, the two of them crossed paths several times, always greeting or making small-talk with each other, yet she never brought her job search up, completely blowing the perfect opportunity as he was out of the office for the next couple weeks. The next chance to talk to him wouldn’t be for a while. Yongsun promised herself, though, that when the opportunity presented itself again, she’d talk to him about her employment woes. Linking her pinkies together, she made it official that she’d follow through.

“What are you doing?”

Moonbyul’s groggy voice startled her. It was deep and raspy and hot.

Hot.

It’s a word that had been popping into her head more frequently when thinking of or seeing Byulyi.

Hot.

Her best friend was hot. It was driving her mad.

They both had a long Tuesday—Yongsun with work at the Center, and Moonbyul with basketball practice—choosing to end the day watching movies together on Yongsun’s bed. Actually, Yongsun was watching the movie, Byulyi was floating in and out of consciousness, exhausted, but content with letting the older girl rest on her chest. It seemed the brunette had opened her eyes in time to catch Yongsun doing the pinky thing.

“Huh?”

“Why were you linking your pinkies together?”

The low rumble of Byulyi’s voice resonating in her ear was more than satisfying for Yongsun, it was a turn on. She’d thought that messing around with Seungyeon would have helped curb her growing craving for physical intimacy, but it had done the opposite. The kissing and touching she did with Seungyeon only served to further fan her desire, made her wonder ‘what if?’ more often. What if she did with Moonbyul the things she did with Seungyeon? What would happen? What did her lips feel like? Was she a good kisser? She had to be, right?

Remembering that her best friend asked her a question, Yongsun finally responded. “I was making a pinky promise with myself.”

“Not even going to question it. What was the promise?”

“That I’d make a meeting with Director Choi when he gets back.”

“You still haven’t done that? It’s been three weeks since we last talked about it,” the athlete uttered, eyes closed again.

“I’ll do it when he gets back. Promise.”

“We’ll see,” Moonbyul doubted.

Yongsun knew she was slowly losing it when she even found the way Byulyi brushed her off to be hot. Things she’d normally hate now made her want Moonbyul. After their brief talk, the older woman went back to paying attention to the movie for at least half an hour before the craving for something sweet suddenly hit her. Gently shaking the athlete awake, Yongsun asked if she could run down to the vending machine in the courtyard and grab her a snack.

Byul’s answer was simply, “No.” That was it.

Yongsun waited for more, for an explanation. Normally, Moonbyul would complain for a little, then get up and get Yongsun the snack. This time, though, nothing else came. Her answer was “no,” and that was all. Truthfully, there were hints of this ever since Byulyi came back from Japan. She was bolder, more defiant and assertive. That’s what it felt like to Yongsun, at least. And she wanted so badly to hate it, but she couldn’t.

Bringing herself back to the present moment, Yongsun went to say something in response to Byul’s one-word rejection, but as she looked up to argue with the athlete, she lost herself in Moonbyul’s lips. It got her thinking again. If the younger woman made a move on her, she didn’t think she’d stop her. It would probably feel great.

Disappointment suddenly washed over her as she came back to reality and remembered that Byulyi would never make a move on her. Yongsun had thought about it. There had been ample opportunities for Moonbyul to do something. All they did was cuddle. If she’d wanted to make a move, she’d have done so by now. Of course, Yongsun didn’t have to wait for Byulyi, she could take the initiative and make a move, but she feared that would be setting herself up for rejection and embarrassment.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Moonbyul asked, catching the grad student’s eyes. “Watch the movie.”

“Byul-ah,” Yongsun whined.

“No. You have snacks in your kitchen, you don’t need anything from the vending machine.”

“Byul-ahhhhh,” she continued.

“Yongsun, no. I’m not getting up. That’s final.”

She should have been upset. Normally, she would have started a fight that ended up in Moonbyul leaving. All she did in the end was sigh deeply, drop the subject, and focus on the movie. There was a pout that lingered, but even that was wiped away when Byulyi placed a tender kiss on the top of her head a few minutes later.

*

Yongsun really needed that snack, though.

Easing herself off of Moonbyul’s body, the blonde walked lightly to her bedroom door, not wanting to disturb the younger woman deep in sleep. Once in the kitchen—she refused to go all the way downstairs to the vending machine, resigning herself to whatever she and Chorong had stocked up on—Yongsun went to rummage the cabinets above the kitchen counter when she caught sight of Chorong on the living room couch. She hungrily slurped some noodles from the bowl held in her hands, greeting Yongsun with a full mouth.

After successfully fetching her snack of choice, Yongsun joined Chorong in the living room, the two chatting each other up and filling each other in on their days. They talked and talked, getting a little too into the conversation it seemed, because Chorong let out a booming laugh, surprising even Yongsun.

“Shhh,” she covered her roommate’s mouth, “Byulyi’s sleeping.”

Certain that Chorong had calmed down, Yongsun removed her hands, growing confused when her friend started looking around as if she was searching for something.

“What are you looking for,” she asked cautiously.

“I was checking to see if maybe you were talking to someone else because I know you couldn’t have been speaking to me,” Chorong explained.

“You’re ridiculous,” Yongsun rolled her eyes, walking away for a moment to throw away her snack’s packaging.

“I’m ridiculous? You’re asking me to not make noise in my own apartment because someone that lives down the hall, that has her own room and bed within walking distance, decided to fall asleep here instead. I think that’s pretty ridiculous, Yongsun.”

“I didn’t say to not make any noise,” Yongsun grumpily mumbled.

“Ah, yes, just asked that I don’t make enough noise to disturb Sleeping Beauty Moon Byulyi.” Yongsun preferred Chorong’s indignation over the way her roommate was now critically scrutinizing her.

“What?” She asked testily.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“But you want to.”

“I do,” Chorong agreed, “but I won’t because you get sensitive whenever we discuss your precious Byulyi. Just know that I have questions and thoughts.”

“Well . . . thank you for not pushing it right now.” She hoped the gratitude was clear in her voice. She didn’t want to talk about what she knew Chorong was talking about, especially with the topic of the conversation only a hop, skip, and jump away.

“I’ll push it another day,” the brown-haired girl stood up, “just like I’ll push her out if she stays here another night. It’s like a third person lives here. I didn’t sign up for that.”

“She doesn’t hang around that often, Chorong. Stop exaggerating,” Yongsun followed suit and stood up, too.

“She’s been here every night this week.”

“Because you’ve been gone every night this week. She tries to avoid you,” Yongsun chuckled, Chorong following suit. “You’re on my case, but where have you been? Maybe you’re the one hiding a relationship.”

“Yeah, I sneak to Suwon every night to meet Eric.”

“Stop! It’s still too soon to be joking about that.”

“It was two months ago.”

“Too soon. It’ll always be too soon,” Yongsun cringed. With Chorong’s peals of laughter at her back, she headed for her bedroom, where—judging by the light snores more audible as she approached—Moonbyul was fast asleep.

*

It seemed Yongsun’s social responsibilities this semester, especially throughout the month of October, were as demanding as those of her academic and work life.

The weekend of Halloween festivities was especially busy for her. With the actual holiday falling on the same weekend as Midnight Madness, there was an unspoken agreement among all at SNU to celebrate it a week early. Midnight Madness was not to be compromised.

What that meant for Yongsun was back-to-back weekends of all-out partying. Making the rounds dressed as Cruella de Vil with Moonbyul as one of her Dalmatians was a blast. The athlete had been a good sport about it and they had the best time. They always did. Recovering the days after, though, was not as enjoyable. It was a chore.

She slept through most of Sunday and sleepwalked through her class and shift at the Center on Monday. By the time Monday evening came around, Yongsun was desperate for her bed. No workout with Taecyeon, no time with Moonbyul, all she wanted was to be left alone so that she could sleep. She should have known better than to think things would work out that favorably for her.

Comforted by the familiar sounds from the keypad as she typed in her apartment’s code, Yongsun powerfully swung the door open, only to be met by Chorong and Changsub setting up the living room.

“What are you two doing?”

“I told you she forgot,” Changsub facepalmed.

“Yongsun,” Chorong walked over to her. “We’re all having dinner tonight, remember?” It was as if Chorong was willing her roommate with her eyes to recall tonight’s plans.

“No idea what you’re talking about, Rongie.”

“Told you!”

“Shut up, Changsub. The whole crew is coming over for dinner tonight. We talked about this.”

“Whole crew? Everyone?” She asked carefully.

“Yeah, everyone.”

Chorong pulled her out of earshot for Changsub before asking outright what needed to be asked.

“Jinyoung’s coming. That’s why I asked you about it weeks ago. To make sure you were okay with seeing him.”

The two hadn’t been in the same room together since their breakup. It wasn’t that she harbored any ill feelings towards him, it was more that she was living her single life and didn’t feel comfortable doing that around her ex. It seemed her day of reckoning had finally arrived.

Heaving a sigh, she quelled Chorong’s concern. “It’s fine. I’m fine with seeing him.”

“Let’s come up with a code word in case you change your mind and need an excuse to leave.”

“He’s not even the bad guy. If anything, he should be the one you check on. I broke up with him, not the other way around.”

“He’s completely fine with it. I heard he’s excited that you’re going to be at dinner. He missed you,” Chorong softly added.

“Tell me honestly. Is he coming here thinking that there’s a chance we’re going to get back together?”

“From what I heard, no. But he does miss you. Maybe he just wants to be friends, I don’t know. The two of you should talk, though.”

“How long do I have until everyone gets here?” It was 6:20 pm.

“Ten minutes.”

“Ugh.”

“That’s the spirit!”

*

Maybe the rest of their friends planned things to work out as they did, because outside of a genial greeting, Yongsun and Jinyoung had no time left alone together. They either participated in full-group conversations or spent their time socializing with some of their other ’91 Club friends. That was, until Hodong excused himself to the bathroom and Chorong and Changsub ended up in the kitchen, engaged in a heated conversation about something.

Fine with biding time until one of the three returned to save her and Jinyoung from the awkwardness, Yongsun busied herself with responding to text messages and perusing her social media accounts. Eventually, her body chose to remind her of how tired she was. The yawn that escaped her could be considered nothing but obnoxious and rude.

“I’m so sorry,” she immediately apologized, hoping Jinyoung didn’t think she was being passive aggressive.

“Long day?”

“Long weekend.”

He hummed in understanding. “I saw your costume on Instagram. You looked great.”

“Thank you,” she shyly accepted the compliment, not sure what else to do or say.

“If you’re that tired, you should go to sleep. None of us would take offense to it.”

The blonde rested her phone face-down on the couch, giving her full attention to the young man on the opposite end. “I’m fine. Truly. I can push through.”

She counted three swallows and two neck rubs before Jinyoung nervously spoke up again.

“So . . . how’ve you been?”

Yongsun felt bad. There was no reason he should feel nervous talking to her. Despite taking time away from him after their breakup, she did sincerely hope that they could be cordial.

“I’ve been doing well,” she stated. “A lot going on, but I’ve been well. How about you?”

“Same. Trying to figure out life after graduate school.”

“That’s literally my life right now,” she exclaimed. Their eyes locked and she gave him a small smile, hoping he understood the proverbial olive branch she was extending. Combined with the effort Yongsun put in to maintain their conversation, it seemed Jinyoung understood that her intentions were genuine. She didn’t want it to be weird.

“Are you doing the Midnight Madness routine again this weekend?”

“Partially. I’ll be there for the roster introduction, but I’m skipping the concert and party on Friday. Made other plans. You?”

“Not this year. I’m swamped with schoolwork, and it’s not like I have a reason to go this year,” he tailed off. It’s not like I have a reason to go this year. Unlike last year when he went just for her, Yongsun thought. That was her wakeup call. The two of them couldn’t be friends or anything analogous to that if they continued to avoid the obvious: they’d have to discuss what their relationship moving forward would look like.

“What are you two talking about?” Finally, Chorong intervened.

“Midnight Madness. Yongsun was telling me that she isn’t going to most of the events on Friday.”

“Oh. Yeah! A friend of ours hosts parties. She has one on Friday, so a few of us are going to that instead.” Yongsun wore a bright smile at hearing Chorong refer to Sirae as a friend of hers.

“That sounds fun. I hope you both have a great time and stay safe.”

“Thanks, Jinyoung.”

That was the last time they shared alone until Jinyoung and the others left. He wished her well, expressing hopes that they could work towards talking as friends again. She shared that she hoped the same, too, and they left it at that. Only time would tell if they put action to their words and turned their hopes into reality.

Once their apartment door closed behind the guys, Chorong shooed Yongsun away, urging her to get some sleep. Her exact words were, “You look horrible. Go sleep, I’ll clean up.” And the blonde gladly accepted the clear insult because it granted her what she had yearned for all day—sleep.

Rushing through her nighttime routine, Yongsun made it to her bed in no time. She sent Moonbyul a message letting her know that she was going to sleep early and wished her a good night before dozing off to thoughts about the upcoming weekend.

It was hard to believe that a year had passed since the last Midnight Madness. So much had changed in that time. She had changed a lot in that time. And although Yongsun had no idea what the weekend would bring, her body tingled with excitement. No matter what came her way, the graduate student was determined to have fun. She was going to make sure that the weekend was one full of no regrets.

Note: A few people have asked about how far into the story we are, so it makes sense to address this for everyone instead of only in a few comments. I don’t have a chapter count, but based on the original outline of the story, things are more than halfway done. It dawned on me, though, that it may be best to expand on the original ending. If that’s the route I pursue, there will be a little more added on to the story, but we’ll see. I’ll ask for feedback when the time comes. Either way, all possible endings have been sketched out, so rest assured that I do, in fact, have an ending in mind. Things are happening for a reason.

Sending you all my best wishes. I hope that each of you finds the time today and every day to partake in some self-care. Oh! To all the people losing out on sleep to read this story, please don’t do that. Please sleep. The story will still be here when you wake up.