Guilt
When I Look At You - A ChanSoo Fan Fiction
Kyungsoo went home, as Yixing hyung proceeded to work that day. Human Resources contacted Kyungsoo, who was given a week-long paid leave, due to the unhealed cuts on his face from the incident, with a testament from Yixing. He spent the day moping around his bedroom, wondering what he could do for his unconscious/anonymous savior while waiting for him to awaken… if he ever would…
His heart thumped speedily in his chest. If things turned for the worse, he would bear the young man’s untimely death in his conscience… and he certainly didn’t want that.
Ah, screw it. Kyungsoo grabbed his backpack and headed for the hospital again.
Getting into the ICU was easier this time, as he only had to show his photo ID and was already granted entrance.
“He has undergone MRI scans earlier today, and the results are being evaluated,” The nurse at the reception told him (thankfully a different one from the condescending nurse from that morning)
“Is it okay if I stay with him?” Kyungsoo asked tentatively, then lowering his gaze. “That is, until visiting hours are over?”
“Of course. You have about three more hours until it turns 6 in the evening.” The nurse smiled kindly, pointing to the inner hall. “The hospital gowns and masks are that way.”
Kyungsoo smiled back shyly and bowed low in gratitude, as he already knew where to go. While he himself should be resting, he wanted to spend as much time with the young man, hoping that he would be there in the event that he woke up.
He quietly entered the dim, soundless room, where his rescuer was isolated. The young man’s breathing synchronized with the light humming of the machines around him. Life support was what they called it. Kyungsoo shivered at the notion and gently reached to touch the young man’s hand.
It felt warm, indicating life inside that immobile body.
“Annyeong,” Kyungsoo whispered in his native tongue, not even knowing if his rescuer would even hear, much less understand. “Are you sleeping well?”
Silence.
Of course, there would be no reply. How could there be?
It was all his fault.
If he hadn’t agreed to meet up with Jae-Wook sunbaenim at the airport…
If only Kyungsoo had set his foot down and broken up with him…
He and this innocent, blameless young man, who was merely going about his business last night, wouldn’t be in this situation…
“Where does it hurt?” Tears burned Kyungsoo’s eyes, guilt creeping up on him. “Everywhere?”
Because that was exactly h
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