Gnawing Question

When I Look At You - A ChanSoo Fan Fiction
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“Perhaps you should get some rest at home. I don’t imagine you’ve had enough sleep since the accident,” Tony suggested, patting Kyungsoo on the shoulder in assurance. “Since I’m already here, and Mrs. Park and Ms. Taeyeon Kim too, we can watch over Mr. Chanyeol Park from here on.”

 

A strange, abysmal sadness overtook Kyungsoo, wondering if he was being kicked out because Mrs. Park didn’t want to see him or that his presence was no longer needed…

 

He wanted to bid Park sajangnim farewell at least… to wish him well… to tell him he would pray for his speedy recovery… and to apologize one last time.

 

He could only nod, of course. Any way he looked at it, he was at the wrong here. Park Chanyeol sajangnim was only a victim of circumstance, and was gravely being punished because of him.

 

He would accept whatever Mrs. Park’s decision was… and it seemed as if the answer was already as clear as day.

 

He stood up as Mr. Rodgers rose to his feet as well. The older Caucasian man extended his hand for a shake amicably, and Kyungsoo politely took it. He bowed low and turned to the hall. He was passing by when Aiko, the female medic who was in ambulance with him that first night, noticed his forlorn expression. “Wakamono!”

 

Kyungsoo nervously lifted his head. Everytime the Japanese medical staff refered to him as such, they always had bad news to impart to him.

 

“Y-Your backpack,” Aiko reminded, picking it up from the nurses station, as Kyungsoo left it there because it wasn’t allowed in the examination room when he accompanied Chanyeol.

 

Kyungsoo nodded gratefully, taking the backpack and securing the straps over his shoulders sullenly. He bowed once more, as if to say goodbye.

 

Aiko wanted to ask why, but somehow found it impolite to so she restrained herself. She could only watch the young downcast man turn to the elevators.

 

Just then, a woman in her 50’s came out from Park Chanyeol’s hospital suite. “Do Kyungsoo-ssi!”

 

Kyungsoo gasped as he glanced up.

 

Mrs. Park was calling him.

 

He gulped, his heart pounding in his chest. The matriarch of Seomse was running towards him in an almost frantic pace.

 

“Do Kyungsoo-ssi!” Mrs. Park called again, with Taeyeon-ssi desperately trying to catch up with her. “Don’t go!”

 

Kyungsoo, then, walked towards Park sajangnim’s mother, in an attempt to meet her halfway. “Uh… I… I’m still here, Mrs. Park.”

 

He fidgeted with his hands as he said this, didn’t really know what to say. Studying Park sajangnim’s mother’s expression, she was more concerned than angry.

 

“C-Can you stay?” Mrs. Park eyes teared up as she reached for the young sous chef’s hands. “Can you stay with my son?”

 

Kyungsoo blinked several times. “O-Of course. I…”

 

“In all honesty, I wanted to place the blame on you for what has happened to him,” Mrs. Park wept as Kyungsoo only nodded in shame, completely agreeing. “B-But C-Chanyeol said you haven’t left his side since the accident. He said… he felt you, even when he was unconscious. My son said… you help calm him down.” Mrs. Park skimmed the despondent boy’s face, innocent and so youthful looking. Do Kyungsoo couldn’t possibly be the same age as her Chanyeol.

 

Hearing this made it seem as if Kyungsoo had solved the global warming crisis singlehandedly, but he didn’t really do anything special. “It was… I only wanted him to know that someone is there for him, just like he was there for me, when he didn’t have to.” He kept his head low, didn’t want to show the people around—the nurses, patients, doctors, Ms. Kim, Mr. Rodgers and especially, Mrs. Park, that he was about to cry, although his lips were already trembling uncontrollably. “I owe him my life, when I should be in his place… when I should have been the one who lost his sight… when my future is bleak anyway…”

 

“Joseong-haeyo, Mrs. Park,” Kyungsoo cried now, as he felt Park sajangnim’s mother hold him in her arms. “I really don’t know how else to repay Park sajangnim, except to help him however I can.”

 

Mrs. Park shushed him softly, rubbing the young man’s quivering back. When she suggested hiring a more professional and impartial translator instead—as one of Chanyeol’s argument was that Kyungsoo translated for him—her son refused, telling her that he needed Kyungsoo, and pleaded not to fire him over the previous grievance with Choi Jae-wook because it was irrelevant and wholly unrelated to this. She worried over the depth of trust that had formed between them over such a short period of time, in less than three days, and Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were already depending on each other like this…

 

Still, as she comforted the crying sous chef now, motherly instinct overcame her, desiring to protect and care for this boy, too. If Chanyeol were the one saved, she was sure her son also wouldn’t leave Kyungsoo’s side.

 

“Araseo, Kyungsoo-ssi,” Mrs. Park whispered, pulling back just a little and gently taking that handsome, melancholic face in her hands, wiping his endless tears with her thumbs. “There is no need for tears now. I am not mad, and Chanyeol certainly isn’t.”

 

Kyungsoo did feel a little lighter hearing that, but not entirely as he sniffled. He didn’t know how to appropriately respond to her kindness except to whisper an apology once more.

 

Just then, Dr. Watanabe and his team approached them. Kyungsoo composed himself in a hurry and introduced them to Mrs. Park, Mr. Rodgers and Ms. Kim.

 

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Dr. Nagasaki replied in halted English. “Please. Let us enter the room.”

 

And all of them went in Chanyeol’s hospital suite.

 

Chanyeol sat up straight from his bed, turning his head to where he guessed the door was, judging from the sound of it opening. “Kyungsoo-ssi?” he called anxiously.

 

“I’m here, Park sajangnim,” Kyungsoo answered timidly, feeling the blood rush to his squishy cheeks as the young CEO extended his right hand in the air, as if to reach for his. He could feel everyone’s eyes on them when he rushed to his bedside to take Chanyeol’s hand.

 

“W-What’s happening?” Chanyeol whispered, his heartbeat returning to normal when he felt Kyungsoo’s proximity. He hoped Kyungsoo wasn’t in trouble over what he and his mother discussed. What was the outcome of it?  “Are you with my mom?”

 

“D-De…” Kyungsoo answered in a normal voice, so everyone could hear as well. “Along with Mr. Rodgers, Ms. Kim and the doctors.”

 

The doctors were here? Chanyeol began to feel nervous all over again. Was there any update on his condition?

 

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L0vechans00 #1
Chapter 35: this is so sweet.. love it so much 😍
Kykylie #2
Chapter 35: I know this is a super duper late request.. But can we have a chapter where Kyungsoo meets D.O? Please........!
Nicole121314 #3
Chapter 35: One of the beat ChanSoo fic. . I kove it so much
Nicole121314 #4
Chapter 32: this is so sweet
Nicole121314 #5
Chapter 30: Chanyeol is revisiting the olace - airport hospital from the last year that he was not able to see... this is is so nice...
Nicole121314 #6
Chapter 24: Seolhee is a cool girl hehe
Nicole121314 #7
Chapter 22: The airport goodbye is always a heartbreaking one
Nicole121314 #8
Chapter 20: why now Jaewook...
Nicole121314 #9
Chapter 19: Jaewon you're barking into a wrong presumption...