Dear Chapter 7

Jung SoMi~

“Great job today. I’ll see you again the day after tomorrow.” My advisor patted me on the shoulder and left the office as my internship hours were done for the day. I picked up my purse from my desk and slipped it on across my torso before leaving the working space. There were a couple NIS agents still in the office working overtime, so I quickly entered the hall and neared the elevators. Turning my head to my left and right, I quickly scanned if anyone was in sight. Luckily, the halls were empty, enabling me to naturally walk through the corridor and into the file room that I saw on the building tour a couple days prior.

The room was only accessible to NIS personnel, however that wasn’t an issue for me since I swiped the keycard from my advisor. Despite the fact that I knew how to pickpocket, I stopped relying on the skill ever since I vowed to live a clean life. But today was an exception. I entered the room and was at first unsure of where to start. In the middle of the room were two computers, but I knew that I didn’t have the security clearance to access the files on the hard drives. Instead I tried my luck with the file cabinets that lined every inch of the walls. I caught on that the files were organized chronologically. I found the 2010 file cabinet and slowly opened it in fear of the loud squeal of the metal cabinet garnering any outside attention. I immediately started flipping through to find the file from twelve years ago. The files had names on them, so I looked for any that were labeled Cha TaeSik or Park HyoJung. My eyes oscillated from briefly watching the door and searching for the file.

My nimble fingers worked fast in fear of getting caught. My eyes widened and I instantly snatched the file labeled Park HyoJung, which was my mom’s maiden name. Taking out my phone from my purse, I positioned it to take pictures of the file’s contents. My phone was already on silent, so all I had to do was make sure to take the photos clearly without shaking my hand too much. Trying to stabilize my trembling hands, I quickly took pictures of each page without even looking at the pages properly. Except four pictures that were attached to a page paralyzed me on the spot and I could already sense that this would haunt me. Then I heard footsteps approaching and before I could even panic, I shoved the file back into its spot and hid behind the cabinet in a rapid flurry.

A pair of impeccably shiny black dress shoes came into view as I held my breath. My heartbeat was racing and then my tense shoulders slumped at the sight of TaeSik in front of me. I was only partially relieved, due to the fact that I knew he would be upset with me. I was risking my internship and future at any government funded institution by violating the security polices. Before I could explain to him, he held a finger to his lips and pointed to the security cam above the door. Understanding his intentions, I followed him outside and into the elevator as if nothing happened. He was silent the entire time as I surreptitiously glanced at him, catching his hardened gaze that indicated that he was fuming inside. Coupled with the photographs and the knowledge of an impending confrontation, I felt sick to my stomach and my breaths turned laborious.

When we reached his parked car in the garage, he turned around to face me. My knees gave out as I struggled to take in air. All I could see in front of me was the picture of my mom’s pilfered pale corpse. The bright red pieces of flesh were sewn together with black stitches, crudely marking where her body was cut. Then the blood from her empty eye sockets streaming down her face like blood tears and a strand of her ebony hair fallen over her face.

“Your mom’s heart is in my hand because I ripped her heart out.” The crazy man’s laughter and words rang in my ears as I recalled how he wielded that scalpel in front of me. He did this. He did that to my mom. As a young orphan, I was tormented with my mind making up scenarios in an attempt to explain what happened to my mom. No one told me anything, so my mind strayed to the worst of imaginations. However this was something I never anticipated. This exceeded all those lurid circumstances my brain thought of. Cowering in sheer terror, I covered my ears with my hands as I hyperventilated.

Instead of confronting me about what I did, TaeSik didn’t press the issue. He simply asked to see my phone, deleted the pictures in front of me and then returned it. I was grateful for that. I despised confrontation with people I was close to, for it always ended badly and I couldn’t afford to lose anyone else in my life. And so because of that I always yielded and let others get their way with me, resulting in my friends acknowledging how much of a pushover I was.

I was lying down on the sofa underneath a blanket with my eyes wide open at the ceiling. The lights were turned off and yet even the slivers of moonlight streaming from in between the blinds disturbed my sleep. Well, the truth was I was too scared to fall asleep. My stomach grumbled with hunger, but I was too nauseous that I even turned down my favorite meal that TaeSik had cooked for me tonight. Rice with egg covered sausages. He was being considerate. On a typical night, he would give up his bed despite my adamant refusals. But tonight when I insisted on taking the couch, he acquiesced.

My head felt heavy and this time I knew the exact reason why. I was fighting my own conscious from bringing up the photographs of my mom’s corpse into the forefront of my mind by resisting sleep. An acerbic taste overwhelmed my taste buds and then the presence of bile was clear as I covered my hurling mouth with both hands. I sprinted to the bathroom and straight to the toilet, dropping to my kn