Dear Chapter 14

Jung SoMi~

“This area is now off-limits.” I announced to TaeSik, spreading my arms out in front as I stood in the kitchen. He nodded, sitting down at the table with the morning sunlight pouring over him. I got to work, pulling up the sleeves of my grey sweatshirt and taking out the large knife from its spot.

The rice was ready to be scooped into the bowls and the water was boiling on the stove. Overcome with a need to hurry up, I quickly sliced the carrots until the knife slipped and cut my finger. Internally groaning with frustration, I walked over to the sink to wash the blood off. Luckily, it was small but I knew how irritating cuts on the hands could be. They always stung whenever I was cooking or showering. I lost count of how many times I sliced myself from the sharp cooking knives. TaeSik swiftly came to my side, wrapping a bandage around my left finger. Thanking him, I returned to the remaining carrots.

“I know my way around a knife better than you, SoMi.” TaeSik’s palm was stretched toward me, asking for the knife.

“I told you that you’re not allowed in the kitchen. Can you go back to your seat please?” I shook my head playfully, dismissing his request. He was only interfering in me cooking him a meal.

“Give me the knife, SoMi. I don’t want you to hurt yourself again.” His voice rang with amusement as he came closer to me, trying to grab the knife from me.

“Oh come on! I just wanted to cook you one meal!” I exclaimed, bursting into laughter and moving away from him within the tiny kitchen. I set the knife down, staring at him peeved in defeat. Then he laughed. The sound was barely audible, but his smiling expression was undeniable. He laughed. He laughed without even me purposely trying to make him. A genuine grin settled on my own lips as I turned to the boiling stew.

The sight of his blue colored left ring finger induced a smile that reached my eyes as I ate breakfast. He must have felt me gauging his reaction to the food, for he gave me a smile. The more time we spent together, the more the sorrowful memory of his suicide attempt faded away. With the bandages finally off my knuckles, I easily gripped the silver chopsticks, placing a piece of sausage onto his bowl.

A warm ray of sunlight blinded me from my seat next to the window. I lifted my hand up to block the light when I caught the sight of TaeSik’s warm eyes staring directly at me from between my fingers. His grown out bangs skimmed his eyelids and I locked my gaze on him. Ambivalence took over my features as my lips faintly parted at his gaze that was perplexing me. In that moment, I maintained my distance from him by closing the gap between my fingers and completely blocking the light from my view. One day, I’ll be able to let the light one. One day, but not now.

TaeSik’s back was toward me as he washed the dishes while I opened my daily planner. I couldn’t believe how fast the time has gone. My graduation was now one week away. My lectures were done and all I had to do was show up for attendance. With school finally over, I would have leisure time. Dr. Lee explained to me that I had high functioning PTSS and my tendency to keep busy was a symptom of that. Only after my EMDR treatment was completed, would I be able to finally allow myself some breathing room. But not now, I needed to find permanent employment. Tugging on my black cap, I left his home after saying my goodbye.

“What are your plans for after graduation?” I asked SooHyun, who was eating leftover tteokbokki from a glass container while watching Yo