Dear Chapter 1

Jung SoMi ~

“Are you safe?” The woman’s heavy breathing was so clear it was as if she was right there next to me. My eyes flickered around the office, landing on the computer screen in front of me as I quickly accessed her file and found her address. Her file notes indicated that she mostly called the helpline due to domestic abuse issues. She was a repeat caller. Cacophonous sounds alarmed me through the phone. Something fell.

“Would you like for me to call the police for you. Just say it and I will.” I spoke calmly into the phone despite my racing heartbeat. My leg kept shaking underneath the table as I listened for the woman’s vocal confirmation. But all I heard was the persistent sound of her wheezing, gasping for air. The sound conjured an image in my mind that I couldn’t shake off. Was her husband choking her?

“Please.” Her voice was barely audible now. I briefly closed my eyes to collect myself before calling the authorities, hoping that the woman would be alive. Once I finished reporting to the police, I let out a breath in the now quiet office and waited for my heartbeat to slow down. Every single call I took had an emotional toll on me, but I was glad to be doing this line of work. Someone needed to listen to these people and offer them support.

“Whew. I hope the police get to her in time.” I remarked to my fellow volunteers as I signed off on the computer.

“You did the best you could. There is only so much we can do as volunteers.” I nodded at my colleague. “I can’t believe this is it. Our last shift together. I’m going to miss being at the office and taking calls with you, SoMi.”

“Me too. Bye.” I told her, hugging her before leaving the office for the final time. Every single time I had left that office I was always emotionally drained and today was no exception.

At the late hour I trudged up the steps to the apartment I shared with my friend. SooHyun was watching television on the couch with a en empty plate in front of her clad in her stained sweatshirt. I knew that the stains were from her countless times of eating tteokbokki for dinner. She joined me in the kitchen, rinsing her plate while I gulped down water to appease my parched mouth.

“How did your last shift go?” She asked.

“As well as it could have.” I answered vaguely, not able to share with her what transpired today due to the confidential reasons.

“Do you want some tteokbokki?” I shook my head at her, declining the dinner option. Her obsession with the spicy rice cakes annoyed me at times, for it was all she would buy whenever she went grocery shopping. Our preferences in food clashed, but it was never something we fought over. Not feeling hungry for dinner, I swiped a water bottle and watched Thursday’s variety shows on the television.

The low audio of the television hummed in the background as I stared blankly at the large television screen in the dark living room. SooHyun had gone to bed, since she had an early class tomorrow. I did too, however I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep tonight anyway. I hugged my knees to my chest only to keep hearing that woman’s raspy breathing as she was being choked. Working at the helpline was rough with the exceeding emotional and mental fatigue, however in a way it helped me deal. Whenever I entered that office, my thoughts disappeared and my focus was solely on the callers, listening to them and their harrowing struggles.

Closing my eyes, the auditory memory was replaced by the one memory that provided me comfort. It was the one memory that I replayed every night in bed as I tried to fall asleep. It provided me comfort, but it also made my heart quiver with sorrow. I would never forget how safe I felt in his embrace. Even recalling that feeling again comforted me in ways no one else was capable of doing. It was the first and last time he hugged me.

Once we reached the campus, SooHyun left in the other direction where the Psychology Department was located, while I climbed the steps to the Sociology Department Hall. My friends, Yeri and JooHyun waved as I walked over to them. They were also busy with notebooks in their hands as they reviewed notes for the test. We filed into the classroom, taking the middle seats of